RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker?

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker?

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker?

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/13/2006 9:27:12 PM

MichMasochist

Posts: 63
Joined: 12/23/2005
Status: offline

Does tribute equal being a hooker.

What is a hooker? A woman who provides physical services for the sexual gratification of the client who has paid her to provide one or more specific acts.

What is a "pro" domme? A woman who provides physical services for the gratification of a client who is often aroused or sexually stimualted by one or more fetishes including physical pain, and/or discomfrot.

Rare is the Pro dommes web sight that doesn't depict her wearing a "strap on" or expressly states her willingness to participate in providing an act of sodomy with hersilf as the actor.

What is it I get out of my surrendering power and control over myself, to a dominating lady. It is a very much a sexual experiance. Every bit as much as engageing in traditional vanilla sex acts.

So to myself and others like me, any woman attaching the title, or otherwise calling herself: "Pro" or "Life stile" Is telling a prospective client that compensation for her services is expected and or required. Can only be a hooker.

As for the subject of a man offering a gift to a woman for her companionship really isn't even close. In the matting ritual of the Human primate the gift is offered as an expression of interest. Unsolisited, Often offered without expectations of reciprocausity. (In my personal experiance)
Unlike the woman identifying herself as "Pro", The title clearly expresses her williness to provide certain services but only if she receives compesatory re-embersment.

Curios, an escort is paid only for her time and anything that might happen is a matter of choice. Yea right. A "pro" or "life style" is paid to offset the expense of her toys and not the acts she might participate in. O...K... right.

So that does bring up another point. If sight policy prohibits solicitation of money for services, or something like that, why are these ladies permitted to post their offer to conduct bussiness?

If I wanted to pay to play I'd go were it's legal. Like Sheris Ranch in Nevada they have a play room there. Maybe we as society should grow-up and stop rationalizing what it is that they do. Legalize prostitution, or at the very least decriminalize it.

Yes I have been to serveral pros. Only one out of the three encounters was gratifiying. I suppose if I were gay and didn't have a boyfriend "Pro" would be the way to go.

(in reply to LadyPamela)

Post #: 81

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/19/2006 5:27:29 PM

lokisgodhi

Posts: 26
Joined: 2/24/2005
Status: offline

chgosubmale wrote:

"It seems odd to say that you'll let a woman tie you up and beat you, that you'll obey her orders, clean her house, etc. but would balk at giving her a few dollars or spoiling her with gifts."

What's odd about it? My dog will roll over, sit up and beg, play dead if I bribe him with a treat too. He's not doing it because he likes doing it.

Some of us want a real domme. Not a pet domme.

"Is the money part of an otherwise full-spectrum BDSM relationship?"

No it isn't. Injecting money or goods and services creates a parody of a BDSM relationship.

(in reply to chgosubmale)

Post #: 82

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/19/2006 5:38:42 PM

michaelGA

Posts: 905
Joined: 12/12/2005
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isn't that lik asking if a person that walks around naked, are they a nudist?

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(in reply to lokisgodhi)

Post #: 83

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/19/2006 6:01:55 PM

lokisgodhi

Posts: 26
Joined: 2/24/2005
Status: offline

WildSpirit2001 wrote:

"Pay for SM is like paying for a massage, you are receiving the benefit of their expertise."

What expertise would that be? I routinely see ads in the NY Press and the Village Voice targeted at college girls as a way to make extra money by local session houses. I know several 'dommes' who are bottoms in real life.

It's like buying a porsche and finding out you were given a old volkswagen with a plastic body bolted to it.

"Pay for D/s is a bit more complicated as you are attempting (IMO) to buy the emotional connection you would feel with a Dominant, or submissive, lets not forget about the pro subs out there."

I'd suggest that it's more like being baited and switched with the 'domme' claiming to be providing one thing when they're really delivering something else.

(in reply to WildSpirit2001)

Post #: 84

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/19/2006 6:38:46 PM

lokisgodhi

Posts: 26
Joined: 2/24/2005
Status: offline

mitsu wrote:

"Although I agree with you, cloudboy, that life experience does help to develop a refined and developed dominance, this is the most offensive post I've ever read. You're saying that women of childbearing age are more concerned with "rearing children" than their own personal (but not professional?) lives, and that professional doms have only a financial interest in lifestyle. I am a professional. I am also a student. Money is not my primary concern, but it does help me pay for my studies, which are very important for me.

"I have a deep love for dominance, submission, and am a "lifestyle" masochist."

And you can prove this how? H.L. Menken said, 'We must respect the other fellow's religion,but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.'

How successful would a pro-domme's session sales would be if she truthfully said that 'I've only been doing this for a month, I barely know which end of the whip to hold. I have a twenty dollar a day marijuana habit and blew all of my student aid on it so now I'm doing this because I saw an ad in the back of alternative newspaper saying I can make big money for minimal effort. That way I can stay in school and avoid my parents making me move back to the town that not even on the map that I came from and working in Walmart there for the rest of my life.

Doesn't sound like a successful marketing strategy, does it?

"It's hard to find compatible play partners. It's hard to find true dominants."

It's a lot harder because of the scam artists and frauds that characterize themselves as dommes.

(in reply to mitsu)

Post #: 85

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/19/2006 7:07:33 PM

JohnWarren

Posts: 1931
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA

isn't that lik asking if a person that walks around naked, are they a nudist?

Very similar since being a nudist is much more than just walking around naked. They have a complex set of beliefs and behaviors that go far beyond not wearing clothing.

I'm naked a lot but I'll never be a nudist.

_____________________________

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www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to michaelGA)

Post #: 86

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/19/2006 11:07:01 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 361
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

The irony is those of us that *aren't* are often approached as if we were (as happened, again, tonight - sigh.)

Now I know my profile does not say one single thing about tribute or "gifts" or "spoiling" or any other subliminal messaging, and I still get the "I'll be in town for a week and would like a session."

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

"Myths are public dreams, dreams are private myths." - Joseph Campbell

(in reply to lokisgodhi)

Post #: 87

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/20/2006 12:11:14 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 2933
Status: offline

quote:

Now I know my profile does not say one single thing about tribute or "gifts" or "spoiling" or any other subliminal messaging, and I still get the "I'll be in town for a week and would like a session."

Maybe that is exactly why they're emailing for a quickie FREEBIE, no dinner, no drinks, no desire to know or commitment, just do me (and i'll include the exact scenarios for your

benefit Mistress)!

M

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Misstoyou)

Post #: 88

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/20/2006 12:15:06 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 2933
Status: offline

quote:

It's a lot harder because of the scam artists and frauds that characterize themselves as dommes.

It's a lot harder when you start with negativity and bitching about money.
How about emailing and getting to know a Lady as a woman and human being, and if during the get to know phase you find she is imcompatible (for any reason including money matters) just say so and move on. Finding the right partner is not easy vanilla or lifestyle. M

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to lokisgodhi)

Post #: 89

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/20/2006 3:34:53 AM

MistressAlexaS

Posts: 78
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline

I don't think it makes a Mistress a hooker, sometimes in the lifestyle there is no sex involved and sometimes a person just wants to serve. This is just another way of serving. In my mind its like when a Dom has a slave that works and he takes her paycheck, is that any different? I don't think so.

~Alexa

_____________________________

Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward.
Patricia Sampson

(in reply to michaelGA)

Post #: 90

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/20/2006 4:39:44 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 506
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Talbot County, Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

Injecting money or goods and services creates a parody of a BDSM relationship.

So when dating and courting a lifestyle Domme, you don't think it appropriate to take her out for drinks, dinner, buy her flowers, since that injects money/goods into the equation?

Would you really get far dating a vanilla woman if you took this attitude? I don't think I ever went out on a vanilla date where the gent didn't pay or occasionally buy me small gifts.

If she's seeking a service sub who will run errands for you, then that's wrong as well since that's inserting services?

I can't say I'd spend much time with such an individual who expected to do nothing for me ~ surefire way to kill any budding romance by behaving stingy as it's a good reflection of spirit, I find.

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 1/20/2006 4:46:02 AM >

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist."
Friedrich Nietzsche

(in reply to lokisgodhi)

Post #: 91

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/20/2006 5:04:41 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 361
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig
Maybe that is exactly why they're emailing for a quickie FREEBIE, no dinner, no drinks, no desire to know or commitment, just do me (and i'll include the exact scenarios for your benefit Mistress)! M

Ah yes, the *exact* scenarios, because we aren't real women, just fantasy figures...or money-sucking pros...or fakes...take your pick.

As an aside, I've been crabby all week with my students, too. But tomorrow, I'm going to abuse my sub, so I'm sure I'll cheer up!

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

"Myths are public dreams, dreams are private myths." - Joseph Campbell

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 92

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/20/2006 5:47:49 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 2933
Status: offline

quote:

As an aside, I've been crabby all week with my students, too. But tomorrow, I'm going to abuse my sub, so I'm sure I'll cheer up!

Good for you, and I hope he enjoys it too.

M

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Misstoyou)

Post #: 93

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/22/2006 12:14:32 PM

lokisgodhi

Posts: 26
Joined: 2/24/2005
Status: offline

BlkTallFullfig wrote:

"It's a lot harder when you start with negativity and bitching about money.

"How about emailing and getting to know a Lady as a woman and human being, and if during the get to know phase you find she is imcompatible (for any reason including money matters) just say so and move on."

Because scam artists and frauds don't normally have any compunction about lying about who they are and what their motivation is really is for entering into a relationship. They start small and then make larger and larger demands.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 94

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/22/2006 12:33:58 PM

lokisgodhi

Posts: 26
Joined: 2/24/2005
Status: offline

MsSonnetMarwood wrote:

"So when dating and courting a lifestyle Domme, you don't think it appropriate to take her out for drinks, dinner, buy her flowers, since that injects money/goods into the equation?"

What I think is that if anyone who should be buying drinks, dinner and gifts it ought to be the dominant. That's the problem with these scam artists they want all the power that goes with be a dominant but aren't willing to take on any of the responsibilities.

"Would you really get far dating a vanilla woman if you took this attitude? I don't think I ever went out on a vanilla date where the gent didn't pay or occasionally buy me small gifts."

A dominant should take on the responsibilities of being a dominant. If you want all the vanilla stuff then find yourself a master.

"If she's seeking a service sub who will run errands for you, then that's wrong as well since that's inserting services?

The seeking of a service sub, as know as a mark, is the epitome of evidence of being a scam artist.

"I can't say I'd spend much time with such an individual who expected to do nothing for me"

If feel the same way obout this scam artist dommes. They do as little as they can get away with and try to extract as much as they can in the form of money, gifts and/or service.

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

Post #: 95

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/22/2006 1:21:10 PM

michaelGA

Posts: 905
Joined: 12/12/2005
Status: offline

quote:

"So when dating and courting a lifestyle Domme, you don't think it appropriate to take her out for drinks, dinner, buy her flowers, since that injects money/goods into the equation?"

What I think is that if anyone who should be buying drinks, dinner and gifts it ought to be the dominant. That's the problem with these scam artists they want all the power that goes with be a dominant but aren't willing to take on any of the responsibilities.

"Would you really get far dating a vanilla woman if you took this attitude? I don't think I ever went out on a vanilla date where the gent didn't pay or occasionally buy me small gifts."

i think there's a BIG difference between buying gifts, drinks, meal or a movie and just forking over money to a total stranger.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to lokisgodhi)

Post #: 96

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/22/2006 1:31:14 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 2933
Status: offline

quote:

What I think is that if anyone who should be buying drinks, dinner and gifts it ought to be the dominant. That's the problem with these scam artists they want all the power that goes with be a dominant but aren't willing to take on any of the responsibilities.
"Would you really get far dating a vanilla woman if you took this attitude? I don't think I ever went out on a vanilla date where the gent didn't pay or occasionally buy me small gifts."

A dominant should take on the responsibilities of being a dominant. If you want all the vanilla stuff then find yourself a master.

"If she's seeking a service sub who will run errands for you, then that's wrong as well since that's inserting services?

The seeking of a service sub, as know as a mark, is the epitome of evidence of being a scam artist.

"I can't say I'd spend much time with such an individual who expected to do nothing for me"

If feel the same way obout this scam artist dommes. They do as little as they can get away with and try to extract as much as they can in the form of money, gifts and/or service.

Well hot damn! No wonder you're a submissive seeking a "twooe" dominant. You are a gift, and I'm shocked no one's collared you yet.

M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 1/22/2006 1:39:59 PM >

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to lokisgodhi)

Post #: 97

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/22/2006 2:16:27 PM

JohnWarren

Posts: 1931
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig
Well hot damn! No wonder you're a submissive seeking a "twooe" dominant. You are a gift, and I'm shocked no one's collared you yet. M

They are waiting in line... just not that line.

Personally, I can't see that seeking a scene relationship supersedes normal vanilla traditions. I can just see it. Last week I helped Rio install a ceiling fan in her new apartment. Now, that's OK because she's the submissive and I'm the dominant. However, if I were submissive and she were dominant, I suppose I'd be classified as a "mark" and she'd be a scam artist.

_____________________________

----
www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 98

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/22/2006 2:23:37 PM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 1329
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: Southern California
Status: offline

*Snickers*

Keep the sarcasm flowing like a fine wine... it sure does make for some amusing moments.

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 99

RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/22/2006 2:26:25 PM

girl4you2

Posts: 1259
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

i've never posted on this board before but this struck a chord:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Misstoyou

The irony is those of us that *aren't* are often approached as if we were (as happened, again, tonight - sigh.)

Now I know my profile does not say one single thing about tribute or "gifts" or "spoiling" or any other subliminal messaging, and I still get the "I'll be in town for a week and would like a session."

i get the same kinds of emails from guys thinking i'll just pop up and see them on the night they're in town for a day anywhere within 200 miles of where i live to "service" them, so i think it's universal.

_____________________________

maireann croí éadrom i bhfad. is maith an scáthán súil charad. is leor nod don eolach.

(in reply to Misstoyou)

Post #: 100

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