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RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner


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RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 7/24/2005 2:46:32 PM   
MsPurrmeow


Posts: 254
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onceburned
A submissive must first gain control of himself before you can hand over control to someone else. A submissive needs to be comfortable with letting his domme meet his needs when she decides, not when he demands it. I wonder how much of the problems in finding a good sub is because guys don't take the first step of mastering themselves.


This is very well-said. Do you mind if we hijack this and start another thread?

I think it deserves to be highlighted and approached on it's own merits.

Purr

(in reply to onceburned)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 7/24/2005 2:48:54 PM   
imtempting


Posts: 874
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		This is a reply to all three.

I dont put who says things unless it is written in a post I can quote as I believe it is against forumn rules as it can be seen as a personnal attack.

People wanted what I believe and seems the only submissives to reply has been against my reply. Maybe its still too early or maybe people are worried too talk up against fem dommes is against the rules. It is an open question people so say anything you want against Fem dommes and according to the dommes that have replied there will be no re-percussions.

Alot of submissives gets gerneralised into a single group. The "suck ups, spank me, punish types" which normally when spoken about they say " well most subs".

I wander where I rate???....

quote:

A reason alot of submissives would not of spoken up in this forumn is because they are scared of ruining their chances with a prospective Dominant



quote:

This is a baseless worry. If a person puts on a false face online, they are only inviting mutual disappointment when the two meet and the mask is taken off.

Besides, if there is an honest disagreement on an issue it is best to consider all sides to better get at the truth.


Yea ok im sure I still have as many people wanting me to submit to them before ive started my posts on this board. Although I do get emails from people saying they agree but too scared to speak up or are only starting too as they felt too worried in the past.

quote:



ORIGINAL: onceburned
A submissive must first gain control of himself before you can hand over control to someone else. A submissive needs to be comfortable with letting his domme meet his needs when she decides, not when he demands it. I wonder how much of the problems in finding a good sub is because guys don't take the first step of mastering themselves.


That paragraph points to what I said about Dommes wanting their needs met first. Well said. I wander how many Ds relationships fail because the Domme kept wanting her needs met and not caring about the summissives??

So how many fem dommes want me to submit to them now? How many would even consider taking me now?


( Edited for some spelling and a post that was not there when I posted. )

< Message edited by imtempting -- 7/24/2005 3:02:29 PM >

(in reply to onceburned)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 7/24/2005 3:02:44 PM   
onceburned


Posts: 2081
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting
Yea ok im sure I still have as many people wanting me to submit to them before ive started my posts on this board.


Finding a domme isn't like winning a race or a football game. When you get the attention of a domme you are just beginning to explore how well the two of you relate to one another. So being honest is important - you need to be true to yourself, because otherwise you are being false to her.

These boards are not a popularity contest nor is the process of finding the right domme for you. I emphasized the word 'right' because that is what the search is all about. People are not interchangeable. I can think of plenty of dommes here for whom I would be absolutely the wrong choice. I am picky about who I contact and I think experienced dommes are choosy about whom they contact.

Why waste time on someone who is different from who is compatible with you? If there is a difference between the person online and in real life it simply is a waste of time for everyone.

You don't have to win the approval of all the dommes here - or even of most of them. You just need to find the one who fits your personality, and she yours.



< Message edited by onceburned -- 7/24/2005 6:13:31 PM >

_____________________________



(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 7/24/2005 3:14:30 PM   
imtempting


Posts: 874
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onceburned

You don't have to win the approval of all the dommes here - or even of most of them. You just need to find the one who fits your personality, and she yours.



I know all that but alot of Dommes are on many sites and alot of submissives are afraid of speaking up.

So tell me onceburned is there nothing that Dommes do on this site that annoys you??

(in reply to onceburned)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 7/24/2005 4:14:49 PM   
SadisticPrincess


Posts: 87
Joined: 7/4/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, please do share. :)

I'm interested to hear about our other failings.

(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 7/24/2005 4:33:32 PM   
AdrenalineDrain


Posts: 1
Joined: 7/12/2005
Status: offline 		A woman without finesse elegance and sophistication offers little to sets ablaze the passions for submission raging within the man of submission. Perhaps, the difficulty connecting is not the product of the man and is so obvious it cannot be seen.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 7/24/2005 6:11:20 PM   
onceburned


Posts: 2081
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsPurrmeow
This is very well-said. Do you mind if we hijack this and start another thread?


Purr, thank you for the compliment and yes, you are more than welcome to use it to start a new thread. I am curious to hear your thoughts and to consider those of others too.

_____________________________



(in reply to MsPurrmeow)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 7/24/2005 6:31:16 PM   
onceburned


Posts: 2081
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting
So tell me onceburned is there nothing that Dommes do on this site that annoys you??


Dommes as an entire group? No.

Are there individual dommes who sometimes annoy me? You betcha! But its one thing to be feeling ill-will towards an individual or even several individuals. Its another thing entirely to be angry at an entire group.

_____________________________



(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 7/24/2005 6:36:30 PM   
onceburned


Posts: 2081
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AdrenalineDrain
A woman without finesse elegance and sophistication offers little to sets ablaze the passions for submission raging within the man of submission.


hmmm... I wonder how many subs for which this holds true. I imagine quite a few would be interested in a brash, crude, hypersexual domme.

But your point that subs have a right to be choosy is a good one. We need to be choosy.

I wonder if anyone disagrees about that?

_____________________________



(in reply to AdrenalineDrain)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 7/24/2005 7:41:14 PM   
LadySonelle


Posts: 269
Joined: 8/24/2004
From: Santa Fe NM
Status: offline 		I would say that part of the difficulty is that I take **time** to get to know the slave. Something fine is worth waiting for. Also, sometimes when I say that an interest of Mine is financial dominance, they run before even LISTENING to what I mean by that... or hearing that 95% of My slaves are not required to pay (or spend) one thin dime! Also, a difficulty is that sometimes a person's eyes are bigger than their spanking-tush and they think they want more than they actually do.

I just lost a slave who had been in contact with Me for 6 months! He backed out of a visit then a second visit and that ended it... he claimed he wanted to see Me but when the time came to fish or cut bait... he baiked!

Oh well. We will see what happens.

Lady Sonelle

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 7/24/2005 8:10:04 PM   
LdyAuburn


Posts: 179
Joined: 5/9/2004
Status: offline 		Definitely need to be choosy, but having said that I do believe some have unreal expectations of what the dominant shall do on that infamous first meeting. Courting doesnt occur but discusses about fetishes and do you have latex or pvc or such.
That promptly negates any good feelings you may have had.

(in reply to onceburned)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 7/24/2005 10:07:10 PM   
imtempting


Posts: 874
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onceburned

Are there individual dommes who sometimes annoy me? You betcha! But its one thing to be feeling ill-will towards an individual or even several individuals. Its another thing entirely to be angry at an entire group.


Please feel free to speak up and tell us. Hey atleast this way the things that annoy you can be discussed openly and freely and have helpful advice given to you. I admit im interested in what annoys other people so I would like to know.

(in reply to onceburned)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 7/24/2005 10:24:59 PM   
GentleLady


Posts: 356
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I admit im interested in what annoys other people so I would like to know.

If you can name it then the odds are that it will annoy someone.

People who deliberately pick a fight annoy Me.
Speaking with your mouth full annoys Me.
Spitting annoys Me.
Putting on weight annoys Me.
Not enjoying food annoys Me.

If you are interested in a longer list of what annoys Me then send Me an e-mail asking for it on the other side.

Gentle Lady

_____________________________

All things are possible to those who have patience, try, and are willing to learn.

(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 7/24/2005 10:33:48 PM   
imtempting


Posts: 874
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		It was actually being refered to about Dommes not other parts of life. So yes I would still to know what annoys onceburned as he seems to be tolarent. Plus this way the doms that does what annoys him will stay away or perhaps change their ways...

(in reply to GentleLady)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 7/24/2005 10:53:57 PM   
GentleLady


Posts: 356
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

It was actually being refered to about Dommes not other parts of life.

Not to be picky but I answered that as a Dominant. Those are some of the things that annoy Me.

Gentle Lady

_____________________________

All things are possible to those who have patience, try, and are willing to learn.

(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 7/24/2005 11:11:35 PM   
LdyAuburn


Posts: 179
Joined: 5/9/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting

It was actually being refered to about Dommes not other parts of life. So yes I would still to know what annoys onceburned as he seems to be tolarent. Plus this way the doms that does what annoys him will stay away or perhaps change their ways...

Why would someone change their ways?
When was the discussion limited to d/s?
Perhaps if you wish to start a thread about how femdoms dont fulfil your needs you may get different responses?
At least a different perspective on answers.

(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 7/24/2005 11:17:04 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 66
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SadisticPrincess

The famous no-show.....they are everywhere! I am at the point where I arrange meetings according to the rest of my social calendar. This weekend I will be at a local fetish party. So far, three guys are supposed to meet up with me to say hello. I'll let you know how many actually come through. :) If none of them do, well, I will have lots of real time friends to have fun with!

My biggest issue with the sub wannabes is that they treat the femdoms as if we are all interchangeable, simply a means to their kinky end. I know that I have a possible future with someone who actually shows some kind of interest in my NON scene existence. The endless laundry lists of do-me do-me that manage to utterly ignore MY interests are getting pretty old. Being begged to pay attention to someone that doesn't fit my criteria is tiresome, too, as is being led along. How hard is it to just be HONEST about marital status, experience level, and age?

Amen, Amen and Amen. Other than dealing with an inordinately large amount of boys who think they're into female supremacy (and I am not), this has to be the biggest peeves of mine. And yes, I've been without owned property for the past two years as I've been traveling the country as a leather titleholder. It's no wonder why....

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004
http://www.msworldleather2004.com

(in reply to SadisticPrincess)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 7/24/2005 11:21:52 PM   
imtempting


Posts: 874
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting

quote:

ORIGINAL: onceburned

Are there individual dommes who sometimes annoy me? You betcha! But its one thing to be feeling ill-will towards an individual or even several individuals. Its another thing entirely to be angry at an entire group.


Please feel free to speak up and tell us. Hey atleast this way the things that annoy you can be discussed openly and freely and have helpful advice given to you. I admit im interested in what annoys other people so I would like to know.


If your read who i replied too and what has been said prior to that then you should understand.

So why are other dommes taking offence to me asking onceburned??

< Message edited by imtempting -- 7/24/2005 11:26:05 PM >

(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 7/24/2005 11:23:28 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 66
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onceburned

People are not interchangeable. I can think of plenty of dommes here for whom I would be absolutely the wrong choice. I am picky about who I contact and I think experienced dommes are choosy about whom they contact.

Why waste time on someone who is different from who is compatible with you? If there is a difference between the person online and in real life it simply is a waste of time for everyone.

You just need to find the one who fits your personality, and she yours.


Salient point. So, might you have any insight as to why so many toss themselves at the first dominant woman who passes by? They don't look at a profile or what the woman is seeking --all they do is toss out chat requests and innane little emails. Isn't that a waste of their own time (not to mention a waste of the woman's)???

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004
http://www.msworldleather2004.com

(in reply to onceburned)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 7/24/2005 11:26:34 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 2933
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting
quote:

ORIGINAL: onceburned
Are there individual dommes who sometimes annoy me? You betcha! But its one thing to be feeling ill-will towards an individual or even several individuals. Its another thing entirely to be angry at an entire group.

Please feel free to speak up and tell us. Hey atleast this way the things that annoy you can be discussed openly and freely and have helpful advice given to you. I admit im interested in what annoys other people so I would like to know.
Dude a gentleman knows better than to come to Ladies' fora and insult women... Onceburned/Chris would never come bitching about women here... He knows you need friends to talk about things/people that annoy you.
We're all open to honest discussions, but I think you'd do better if you paid attention to his and other advice... Read/learn what's said, think of weather it is information you can use, than use or dispose of it (it's what I do to try to avoid looking like a know-it-all ass generally).

Speaking negatively of any group is generally in bad taste and a bad idea, especially if you hope to be accepted by that group. I don't have any opinion about you aside from the fact that you're young, and maybe you've been screwed (not in a good way) by a lady or two, but if you hope to stay heterosexual, it would help to listen to and learn from women or men liked by women (like Chris). M

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 80
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