RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner

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RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 10/3/2005 11:17:33 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 2933
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quote:

There, done. Better, do you think?

I like this better too.
I bet you will have better luck with such an honest profile. M

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RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 10/4/2005 5:07:02 AM

BeeQueen

Posts: 48
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline

this question has been around and about a 100 times...- y is a femdom single when there is so many subs -?

and i agree with most of the posts

male subs often show interesst in their own satisfaction rather than in the dommes person
male subs often have dreams that they push trough and in last moment dont dare to go
male subs lie often about their situation (married, engaged not single)

and guaranteed, we femdoms do have a good taste, if *he* writes us hes good looking, and we get a picture of david rumsfield...im sorry..big turn down.
most femdoms r realists, we do not believe if a guy tells us *i got no limits and do everything for my owner*, couse we do know ...everythings means, everything as long as im sexually satisfied

personally i hate it to bee judged upon my sexual interesst first . i can enjoy lifestyle, and still bee a normal person . i judge a man on his looks and his attitude, and than i check if his interesst does get along with mine ( and hell i had a lot of compromisses )

ps...im still looking for a lifemate :P

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RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 10/4/2005 8:38:27 PM

cameron65

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Joined: 1/31/2005
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Just wanted to put in my two cents on this conversation....
I've met 8 dommes in person through online sites, clubs, and 2 through friends. Every one of them were dominant in past relationships with other men. However, when they met me they took more submissve roles.
I never got into a relationship with them because of this. It would start coming out the second or third time we went out. Some even expressing the desire outright.
They were not switches before, so they say. I know for a fact the two I met through friends were not, and they had even expressed they never would be to a man.
I have no idea why it happens, but it's not only the femdoms who are having problems.

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RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 10/4/2005 9:42:49 PM

whipmenow

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Joined: 8/3/2005
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Thanks, ladies.

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RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 10/5/2005 11:43:52 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 482
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Metro Detroit
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What exactly do you mean by "taking the submissive role", Cameron? That they wanted you to top them? That they were not ultrabitches? Something else on that continuum?

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RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 10/5/2005 2:58:44 PM

cameron65

Posts: 3
Joined: 1/31/2005
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LadyHibiscus,

"That they wanted you to top them?"
That depends on your accepted definition of the term "top". If you mean in relation to a scene and not their regular practice, then the answer is No. If you mean the term in regards to taking the role as practice, then the answer is yes.
It appeared, and certainly was told to me in some circumstances, that they wished for me to be the dominant one. Always.

Ultra bitchy does not signify dominant to me. though....might be nice to meet one sometime...hahaha.
I understand some/most/all femdoms are not dominant all the time 24/7. Just as I am not submissive 24/7. At least not yet

So it was not a circumstance of my misinterpreting things.
These women I met varied in degree as to the role they wished to take in concern to me. Some submissive at all times (public/private), some only in private, some only sexually (meaning a vanilla relationship otherwise).
Does this explain it well enough? If not, I can try to expand my comments.

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RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 10/5/2005 3:13:45 PM

Kasia

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cameron65

Just wanted to put in my two cents on this conversation....
I've met 8 dommes in person through online sites, clubs, and 2 through friends. Every one of them were dominant in past relationships with other men. However, when they met me they took more submissve roles.
I never got into a relationship with them because of this. It would start coming out the second or third time we went out. Some even expressing the desire outright.
They were not switches before, so they say. I know for a fact the two I met through friends were not, and they had even expressed they never would be to a man.
I have no idea why it happens, but it's not only the femdoms who are having problems.

Hmmmmm. Not meaning to offend you, but this remainds me a bit of a fantasy I had a chance to notice some males have - I would call it "subduing the femdom".
The ultimate irresistible male meets a poor lost femdom and she finds her true self in rolling herself under his feet....... something like that

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RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 10/5/2005 6:54:48 PM

sting516

Posts: 407
Joined: 9/4/2004
From: long island, ny
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kasia

Hmmmmm. Not meaning to offend you, but this remainds me a bit of a fantasy I had a chance to notice some males have - I would call it "subduing the femdom".
The ultimate irresistible male meets a poor lost femdom and she finds her true self in rolling herself under his feet....... something like that

Actually, when i first got started back in the late 80s/early 90s, i ran into this situation quite a bit...where the woman representing herself as a Domme was truly sub...there were a couple of times where i turned the tables...and usually effectively, but my heart really wasn't in it.

What i did learn though was to take more time getting to know the person before thinking about playing with them...You'd be surprised how spending the extra time can help weed out the wannabes.

sting

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RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 10/5/2005 7:41:31 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 482
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Metro Detroit
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How often have we encountered subs who presented themsleves as doms? It's happened to my submissive friends very often. What the allure in lying from the first encounter is, I am not sure.

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RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 10/5/2005 9:09:34 PM

cameron65

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Joined: 1/31/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kasia

Hmmmmm. Not meaning to offend you, but this remainds me a bit of a fantasy I had a chance to notice some males have - I would call it "subduing the femdom".
The ultimate irresistible male meets a poor lost femdom and she finds her true self in rolling herself under his feet....... something like that

No offense taken.
I can honestly say that I know I'm not irresistable.
Considering I have played the dominant role, I really don't have any fantasies of doing it again...haha.
Perhaps the other poster was right...about meeting some subs portraying themselves as dom. This might have been the case with the ones I met from online but what about the two I met through friends? They had a history behind them.
I don't know. There are more important things to think about anyway. I just wanted to mention it here.
Thanks

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RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 10/6/2005 10:29:42 AM

Kasia

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cameron65

No offense taken.
I can honestly say that I know I'm not irresistable.
Considering I have played the dominant role, I really don't have any fantasies of doing it again...haha.
Perhaps the other poster was right...about meeting some subs portraying themselves as dom. This might have been the case with the ones I met from online but what about the two I met through friends? They had a history behind them.
I don't know. There are more important things to think about anyway. I just wanted to mention it here.
Thanks

Oh, I do believe you, and in fact its nothing really about you.

The things is - when I first started to explore "the lifestyle" (on other bdsm message board), I run into a man who at first seemed quite nice and willing to help me solve my dilemmas. After couple of really nice messages he suddenly started to persuade me that I was in fact alltogether wrong - that dominance is naturally one of the male personallity traits and that I, being female, cannot be dominant at all. He wrote me "you could only be truly happy being held by strong arms of the man", or something like that.
Now, coming from someone I almost considered an "online friend" - meaning a person I trust to the certain point, (and he was quite skilly and efficient with words) it shattered me a bit. My first reaction was great anger, and I actually blocked him although I almost never do that. Afterwards I learned more about myself and what I am, developed an attitude and laughed at myself for being so offended and shocked at the time.

But still it sort of left a bad taste in my mouth and I am a bit touchy when I hear something about "conversing the femdom".

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RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 10/20/2005 12:50:07 PM

kimberlycute

Posts: 3
Joined: 9/20/2004
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Iam new to this sort of lifestyle, however, just recently found a partner. I think a vital part of my success is attributed to being open. Iam interested in certain things and the likelyness of someone having the same interests is obscured. However, by being open minded, endless possibilites.

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RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 10/20/2005 8:24:21 PM

Euryanx

Posts: 96
Joined: 6/27/2005
From: Philly, PA
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Since joining Collarme in July, I've been very lucky, and met five Domme women.

In each case with the Dommes we met for dinner or lunch or a movie, and had fun, and although all were extremely nice, we didn't have the right chemistry. So after 1-2 meetings, we just stopped seeing each other. No fuss. No fights. No need for counselling.

I look at like I'm a single piece in a 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle. I'm walking around with my piece, trying to find someone who has a matching piece. Out of the 1000's of people on Collarme, there are probably only 2-3 people who will make a perfect match.

Nor do I see the sense of trying to jam my piece into someone else's. Tried that in the past, and it doesn't work.

Better to just casually meet, try to make a friend, and let nature take its course.

It's rare, but when lightning strikes you know it.

When she walks in the room,
and my heart rings like an alarm...
her perfume makes me swoon...
and the hair stands up on my arms...
I'll know.

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RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 11/14/2005 11:56:22 AM

michaelMI

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could it be because all the good ones are taken? just curious.

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RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 11/14/2005 3:40:14 PM

msangel4u

Posts: 11
Joined: 1/11/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MaitresseEden

As for the common reason I fail to connect with the majority of subs I have met. (I have connected with some, to varying degrees) The primary reason is there inability to live in reality and mesh with my life in the areas non kinky.

Ms.Eden

Amen to this! I call it seperation issue. They want a Domme relationship, a Mistress in the closet while going on and leading their lives outside of the D/s situation.

It doesnt matter what side of the spectrum you are on its hard to find that perfect match. I had an amazing 3 year 24/7 M/s relationship with a very young man that was a soul mate. Having had that once I want the mesh and flow again. I dont hold potentials to "his" standard but I do hold them to having to be willing to do more than just serve.

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RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 11/15/2005 8:13:12 AM

HeavenlyCeleste

Posts: 81
Joined: 9/12/2005
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The main reason I didn't makeconnections was that I was being contacted by subs who lived all ove rht ecountry (and even other countries) and wanting to jumpright into a 24-7 live-in arrangement. Pushy subs put me off.

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RE: Femdoms can't find a decent male partner - 11/26/2005 8:37:26 AM

addcted2it

Posts: 78
Joined: 10/28/2004
From: Sonoma County, California, USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

[Snip]

It sounds like there are some common themes appearing in these threads. The problems with the submissives:

1. They don't care much about the entire woman or compatibility. Too much focus on kink only.
2. They seem to just be looking for someone to satisfy their kinky dreams, sometimes at the exclusion of what the femdom's own interests are.

REPLY: Phil

I usually see a parallel between the kink and the vanilla world, in that the majoity of men seem to be interested in having a sexual with a woman as opposed to engaging in a relationship with a person of the opposite gender, and getting to know the whole person.

Perhaps this is more about the way that men are wired than it is about the desire for sexual intercourse and/or kink. On the other hand, I have met women who have focused more on sex/kink than on devoping a deeper realtionship with a partner, so it often does cut both ways.

I tend to approach relationships with women by wanting to get to know the person on a deeper level. After all, doesn't that translate into a more rewarding experience for both? But I suppose that depends upon what each of us is looking for (a deeper relationship versus a one-night stand).

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