Collarchat.com

Join Our Community
As the Collar Turns:
Collarchat.com - BDSM Forum

Home  Login  Event Calendars  Search 
Espanol  Deutsch  Francais  Italiano  Portugues 

RE: More than one girl?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Polyamorous Lifestyles >> RE: More than one girl? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: More than one girl? - 4/18/2005 5:05:28 AM   
stormsfate


Posts: 846
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I feel that being the alpha gives me responsibilities not only for my Master but also an increased sense of duty and care for my sisters' happiness and welfare too.


I agree with this. Part of my responsibility (and heartfelt as well) is to do all I can to see that v does not *feel* like she is on the outside or is "second". There are definate reasons for the hierarchial setup in our family...and that is what works best for us.


f

_____________________________

Storm1206 - Author of my dark desires...Owner of my soul.

stormsvision - chainsister and partner in crime.

(in reply to MissCrystalBlade)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: More than one girl? - 4/29/2005 5:36:07 PM   
MastrDK


Posts: 6
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
I also agree with having an alpha... My alpha slave is not my equal but she is my wife and has great knowledge and will often pick up on things that may otherwise get overlooked. The love is equally shared but it is the Alpha's position to help the household run more smoothly and efficiently there for she is includuded in the selection process but as always ultimately the last word is down to me and I have to live by any bad choices I may make. My alpha is here today tommorrow and forever and it is hoped that the beta's will too

DK
quote:

ORIGINAL: stormsfate

quote:

I feel that being the alpha gives me responsibilities not only for my Master but also an increased sense of duty and care for my sisters' happiness and welfare too.


I agree with this. Part of my responsibility (and heartfelt as well) is to do all I can to see that v does not *feel* like she is on the outside or is "second". There are definate reasons for the hierarchial setup in our family...and that is what works best for us.


f


(in reply to stormsfate)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: More than one girl? - 5/31/2005 11:58:16 AM   
TPEMasterJD


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline
In my experience, as long as all females in a poly house hold are not the jelious self centered type, it gives all the females in the house hold a sense of security in being with other females all working towards the same goal, which is pleasing and enhancing there masters life. Of coarse there are the jelious self centered type females , but to those who fit that decription, there not a slave or sub at heart at all, jeliousy and self centeredness are not the qualities of a true slave or submissive TPEMasterJD

(in reply to aiyla)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: More than one girl? - 5/31/2005 1:42:08 PM   
stormsfate


Posts: 846
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
I would disagree with you on this aspect...

quote:

jeliousy and self centeredness are not the qualities of a true slave or submissive


These are, to some degree, normal and healthy emotions. The importance lies in how one reacts to such emotions. I think its unrealistic to say that one will never "feel" these emotions.


best regards,
fate



_____________________________

Storm1206 - Author of my dark desires...Owner of my soul.

stormsvision - chainsister and partner in crime.

(in reply to TPEMasterJD)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: More than one girl? - 6/2/2005 1:12:00 PM   
fridayschild


Posts: 1
Joined: 4/28/2005
Status: offline
Why should you have to "get past" anything? I had to wonder as I read your post if this so called "insecurity" of yours is actual self awareness, or a spiteful label imposed by your former master. When you told him of your concerns, did he do anything to alleviate your fears? Or just pull rank and say his way or the highway?

"Polyamorous" is just a fancy shmancy word for "having your cake and eating it too". Not everyone is wired that way, so don't be so quick to accept the blame for the demise of your last relationship. You're a one-man woman...he was not a one-woman man. It has nothing to do with being insecure or needy on your part, but rather a basic difference in preferences. Be proud of who you are and stand firm in your principles. Somewhere out there is the "one" man who will treasure your monogamy. Best wishes....

(in reply to aiyla)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: More than one girl? - 6/4/2005 5:20:29 PM   
allyC


Posts: 132
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

To me, collaring is committment! And I've gotta say I do wonder about the insecurities and self-esteem of any master who "needs" more than one slave. It smacks of perceived status and dick-measuring! Of course, I have no desire or need for a poly relationship so I'll let others relate how successful or otherwise they can be....


Some people are not monogamous - they just aren't wired that way. Someone could say the same thing about people who are strictly monogamous. They could say it is because they are inesecure and have poor self esteem and are afraid that #2 will make them look bad, but that wouldn't be correct either. The answer to what is the motivation behind each individual's needs, wants, and desires is just that - individual. There is on one-size-fits-all here.

quote:

For the life of me, I can't believe any master can give 200% committment to 2 slaves for the 100% from each slave he expects in return - it's IMPOSSIBLE! A load shared is a load halved - so is love and committment....


So when a parent has more than one child, their committment to their 1st child becomes only half? Their love is divided in half too? If they have five children each child only gets 20 percent of their love and committment?

I don't believe that love and committment are finite things that are split into percentages. My ability to love is infinite. I love many people in my life and I don't have to divide it up amongst everyone. I can commit to many things at a time and as long as those committments don't stand opposed to each other, then where is the problem?

When we do find the other woman who will serve my owner beside me and if the fit is right and we are all together for the right reasons, then the love and committment in the relationship will grow exponentially, not diminish. At least that is my take on it.

As for the heirarchy thing mentioned in a few posts - I believe that it will establish itself in its own, natural way. Take my relationship for example. I have been my owner's slave for 7 years. When we do begin our relationship with another slave, she and I cannot be the same as we are both coming from very different places. She won't be less than me or more lowly than me. Neither will be better or worse but we most assuredly won't have the exact same relationship with my owner.

I also agree with what smilezz said. After being here for so long, I have earned a great degree of trust and privelege. My owner has made financial provisions for me should something happen to him, etc. Someone who is just coming in will not have earned that level of trust yet. Perhaps they will move more quickly along their path to surrender and maybe not, but the reality is that the two of us will have different relationships with my owner - not because one is better or worse but because each is a different person on a different place along the path.

I figure there are 4 relationships in each triad. The relationship between a & b, the relationship between b & c, the relationship between a & c, and the relationship shared by a, b, & c together. They will always be somewhat different but as long as each diad is focused on the happiness and fulfillment of the opposite end of the triangle, then in an ideal sense, the relationship would be incredibly strong.

Well wishes,

Cav's girl
ally

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: More than one girl? - 6/4/2005 5:29:26 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 2294
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline
Doesn't your second sentence contradict your first? Not everyone is wired to be monogamous, either. If people have a poly relationship that works for them, who is anyone else to criticize? I've never understood why so many monogamous types insist that poly is the same thing as cheating.

quote:

ORIGINAL: fridayschild

"Polyamorous" is just a fancy shmancy word for "having your cake and eating it too". Not everyone is wired that way


(in reply to fridayschild)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: More than one girl? - 6/4/2005 5:41:26 PM   
smilezz


Posts: 489
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Of coarse there are the jelious self centered type females , but to those who fit that decription, there not a slave or sub at heart at all, jeliousy and self centeredness are not the qualities of a true slave or submissive


...but they can be qualities of a human being.

To make that statement is neither here nor there....yes, we are human...yes, we do have feelings...yes, sometimes they are THESE feelings too. As a woman who is a slave.......yeah, sometimes..just sometimes i feel.

Happy Saturday.

~smilezz~

_____________________________

"Please excuse my Sense of Justice...it's the only thing that saves You from the Slaughter"

"What you cannot enforce, do not command - Sophocles"



(in reply to TPEMasterJD)
Profile   Post #: 68
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Polyamorous Lifestyles >> RE: More than one girl? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Collarchat.com is a member of the Free Speech Coalition
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.059