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RE: More than one girl? - 1/5/2005 3:05:47 PM

Paulnz

Posts: 149
Joined: 12/13/2004
From: Christchurch, New Zealand
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Interesdom

I would think that, as with any other polyamourous relationship, long-term success in owning two slaves is only possible if the two slaves have a defined relationship between themselves as well as with their master. With that proviso, it is clearly possible to have two slaves and any jealousy issues are likely to be resolved, if only out of reasonableness.

I agree with this. The two slaves may share a hobby. I like the word reasonableness.

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RE: More than one girl? - 1/6/2005 1:23:34 AM

Zensee

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Dominants who can behave with openness and honesty, and who desire more than one partner, not only may do that with a clear conscience but have a duty to be the calm center for as many sincere submissives as they can responsibly manage. There is a shortage of Dominants (at least in my town) and there is a constant need for their presence and influence (you don't have to have sex with them all, you know, so 'dick measuring' is optional, Focus50). Share the wealth if you have it.

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RE: More than one girl? - 1/6/2005 2:14:56 PM

srahfox

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I love and charish my Master more than anyone in this world. I hae no fear in saying he feels the same for me. That being said. I would have no problem with him being anouther woman into the mix. I know that if it was someone he felt that strongly for, chances are I would as well. I have one friend I would love to share him with, but unfortunately she does not feel the same way. I would love and care for her as a sister, even if we never did anything together. In no way do I think that would weaken my relationship with my Master, nor do I feel that it meant he could no longer love me as much.
Just so everyone is clear, this is not nessassarily something I would have thought possible ten years ago when we first started 'dating'. (Yes in the vanilla sense, we were late bloomers) I never thought I could share him at all, sexually much less emotionally. Now, however, I trust him and I know he trusts me. I have no fear of him ever leaving me, even if he found someone That interesting, I know he'd bring her home.

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Post #: 23

RE: More than one girl? - 1/6/2005 2:17:08 PM

TeasedWhispers

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Honestly I could never do poly,since I always needs the guys attention....it doesn'[t seem worth it to me.;)

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Post #: 24

RE: More than one girl? - 1/6/2005 2:39:57 PM

RealityFix

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Zensee wrote:

quote:

Dominants who can behave with openness and honesty, and who desire more than one partner, not only may do that with a clear conscience but have a duty to be the calm center for as many sincere submissives as they can responsibly manage. There is a shortage of Dominants (at least in my town) and there is a constant need for their presence and influence

I guess I'm having difficulty getting this one. We have a DUTY to take on multiple submissives just because they lack a Dominant?

And here I always thought that supply and demand was just the "breaks" and that one should try to move up in desirability in that situation,rather than force those with an advantage to lower thier standards just so they can "meet these needs".

Or that monogamopus people have a "duty" to go against thier grain to do so-sorry guy, I'm just not buyin it.

It is a nice way to justify cycling through a lot of subs under the mask of "Nobility", however.

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Post #: 25

RE: More than one girl? - 1/6/2005 10:17:00 PM

domtimothy46176

Posts: 636
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From: Central Indiana
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RealityFix

Zensee wrote:

quote:

Dominants who can behave with openness and honesty, and who desire more than one partner, not only may do that with a clear conscience but have a duty to be the calm center for as many sincere submissives as they can responsibly manage. There is a shortage of Dominants (at least in my town) and there is a constant need for their presence and influence

I guess I'm having difficulty getting this one. We have a DUTY to take on multiple submissives just because they lack a Dominant?

And here I always thought that supply and demand was just the "breaks" and that one should try to move up in desirability in that situation,rather than force those with an advantage to lower thier standards just so they can "meet these needs".

Or that monogamopus people have a "duty" to go against thier grain to do so-sorry guy, I'm just not buyin it.

It is a nice way to justify cycling through a lot of subs under the mask of "Nobility", however.

I don't see maintaining a presence and offering guidance to those in need as 'cycling through a lot of subs under the mask of "Nobility"'. I also don't see "Dominants who can behave with openness and honesty, and who desire more than one partner" being monogamous. Perhaps you and I have different definitions of monogamy. I have always defined monogamy as "desiring only a single partner".

As for myself, I think we should each take on however many submissives we can care for appropriately. If I want only one, then most likely that desire would preclude me from caring for multiple submissives concurrently. If I want two, then I may require more from one than she can provide. Luckily, none of us are required to take on a prescribed number of submissives just because some outside party has decreed that number to be correct.
Timothy

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Post #: 26

RE: More than one girl? - 1/11/2005 11:49:15 PM

MrRough

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Let me be quick and frank:
A Master can have more than one slave.
a slave can not serve more than one master.

Ruph Toaice

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Post #: 27

RE: More than one girl? - 1/12/2005 5:32:29 AM

cynnacent1

Posts: 338
Joined: 6/25/2004
From: Massachusetts
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quote:

Let me be quick and frank:
A Master can have more than one slave.
a slave can not serve more than one master.

This might read better if reworded a bit.

A Master can have more than one slave, and a GOOD one might even point out any intentions of such prior to collaring, and claiming any of His potential slaves' submission.
A slave can not serve more than one Master unless said slave's Master desires such, commands that they do, and ...................... wishes to have one tired as hell, used up slave, passed out in exhaustion at His Domly feet at the end of each day.

i wouldn't claim to know what anyone in general can or can not do. i don't take kindly to others speaking for me (with the exception of my Master of course), and don't claim to be capable of speaking for anyone else. Speak for yourself i say (unless you happen to be the Master speaking for His own).

In regard to this relationship and all that defines it: As far as the subject is concerned in regard to what a Master with a slave can do, the answer would be, "Anything He daymn well pleases". And as for what a slave can do, the same answer would apply: "Anything which daymn well pleases her Master".

It was with enormous trust in His capabilities of conducting Himself with a great deal of responsability and common sense towards the well being of EACH of us, that allowed me to accept INSIDEYOURMIND's collar and ownership (Of course with a great deal of serious communication prior to doing so. i didn't enter into this blindly). That trust is one of the major foundations of the relationship, and serves as the reason for why He holds all of the power regarding all final decisions in the relationship.

Issues such as questions regarding whether a Master might take on other slaves in a relationship, would be a good thing to address prior to becoming a Master's slave.

¸,ø¤º°cynnacent°º¤ø,¸ (proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND)

< Message edited by cynnacent1 -- 1/12/2005 5:38:32 AM >

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Post #: 28

RE: More than one girl? - 1/12/2005 9:26:48 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2245
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRough

Let me be quick and frank:
A Master can have more than one slave.
a slave can not serve more than one master.

Ruph Toaice

...what about polyamourous situations such as when a slave belongs to a couple. In that case, the slave definatly is serving more than one person, and often is not ultimatly responsible to one or the other. I think you're over simplifying.

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Post #: 29

RE: More than one girl? - 1/14/2005 6:33:17 PM

SubBunny

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i have to comment on this one.. i am in the same situation and am the newest of the subs to my Master, been with him 3 months now. He has an alpah sub who is extremely the jealous type. her journals constantly portray her "constant" being his one perfect sub, his only one who will ever be as close to him as she is.. it like a "is she trying to convince" herself of her postion with him
this sub is very insecure of herself!
i am confident and not in anyway jealous, but i do see how it can become a ISSUE in a poly relatioship!
i have accepted her and only time will tell just really how she will react to his feelings for this sub!
it gets confusing for at times.. as i do feel upset with my Master, cause he says he will connect or call me and then doesnt'..
it upset this sub very much and it makes her feel disrespected by him and she feels not acknowledged the way she should at times.
i have not recieved my collar yet, but will very soon!
my Master is very "patient" man and he wants his space from both of his subs!
i feel cared for and loved by him, but it URKS me to know end to have a man say he will do something and does not follow through with it.
It may not be alot to get upset over, but its the point he says something and does not fulfill those words to his sub.
it makes me feel awful when he does this to me.

i dont know where all of this will lead in my current poly relationship but only time will tell.
i am sincerely devoted to this Master and he knows this..
i just need him to speak and do what he says!!'
Any suggestions.??
we have discussed this and everytime he says he wont do that again, but he does!
Should this make me wonder??
everything else in our relationship is perfect!
no other complainsts but this..
why does this bother me so much?
he desires me to text him everyday and if i dont, he will feel disappointed!
i have vowed to make that text message happen evryday
i dont want this poly thing to fall apart and i am being on my best behavior, but it seems to me at times..
his mind is not on his sub..................

i get confused too!!

thanks so much

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Post #: 30

RE: More than one girl? - 1/15/2005 4:24:58 AM

lovingmaster45

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subbunny I do not have any advice for you; you seem very centered. I do have advice for your Master; dump the jealous bitch.

I have been poly a long time. Jealousy will destroy everything in any poly relationship. You cannot cure it. You cannot punish it away. It is a cancer and it must be excised.

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Post #: 31

RE: More than one girl? - 1/15/2005 8:41:53 AM

Quivver

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quote:

ORIGINAL: srahfox

Just so everyone is clear, this is not nessassarily something I would have thought possible ten years ago when we first started 'dating'. (Yes in the vanilla sense, we were late bloomers) I never thought I could share him at all, sexually much less emotionally. Now, however, I trust him and I know he trusts me. I have no fear of him ever leaving me, even if he found someone That interesting, I know he'd bring her home.

Those words of 10 years is the key for me. From my point of view, trust and care has been established that removed any green eyed monsters by then. I wonder how soon the orginal poster is speaking of this entering into their lifestyle? Again, I've lived only Nilla, but being BI this is a Bridge I've crossed in a slightly different definition. My fear is one I've learned the hard way that what i offered was easily forgotten for a newer model when I've trusted too soon.
Here's a wee bit of a Rant,
I was cruising profiles this morning and ran across a *photo* that got me to take a longer look. The words
written were enticing, then at the bottom in a journal entry what do I see? How this Dom has met a Sub online and is planing on a RL meet, but he's looking for other Subs, BI of course
to join them. Oh come on.............. Although it may work for them, I need to know I'm cherished first.
Maybe I've just been ruined by where I've been. But from this threads first Post possibly I'm not alone.

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Post #: 32

RE: More than one girl? - 1/15/2005 11:03:58 AM

nella

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SubBunny, i would feel horribel to if my Dom did not what he said he was going to. Somthimes things get in the way, but usualy all should try to keep their words to one other or there be issues of mistrust i think.

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Post #: 33

RE: More than one girl? - 1/16/2005 6:06:39 AM

smilezz

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quote:

The biggest mistake I see poly Doms doing is setting "hierarchies" with first second etc....

Actually, the biggest mistake i have seen in alot of relationships such as these IS the fact they set it out as equals.

What if you had a girl for a few years and introduced another one...does the new girl have the same feelings from you the first one has? does she have the same rights as the first? say you have been living with the first one for years and you move in the second one...does this girl have the same 'everything' that the first one did/does? Do you tell the second girl that you love her just as much as the first one you have been with for years? (if love applies here that is). What about financially? These are just a few thoughts, i could go on and on.

There are so many what if's...i understand that not everyone does things the same and if equals works for you....GREAT! i have just not seen it happen in 20+ years..........yet.

Happy Sunday y'all....

~smilezz~

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Post #: 34

RE: More than one girl? - 1/16/2005 8:42:15 AM

ShadowKnight

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The important thing to realize is that a poly relationship works for some and doesn't work for others. That it doesn't work for you is not a big deal. Just ensure that you are upfront and honest in the beginning about how you feel about it in any future relationship.

I agree that the key to long term success of a poly relationship is that the girls themselves need to have a relationship between each other as well. This does not need to be a sexual relationship...it can be a relationship as sisters. Jealousy tears any relationship apart, whether poly or not.

It is not any kind of "dick-measuring" or any of that. It just is a different form of relationship. Too often the comments of "dick measuring" come from those who have some type of percieved lack or wish to have a poly relationship and are just not sure how to broach the subject with their partner.

There are not a set number or a set way in which a poly relationship can be. Nor is there any law saying that everyone needs to be in a poly relationship. Poly relationships do not need to be sexual in nature for all parties involved to feel they are in a poly relationship.

Just My two tarn bits, your mileage will vary
ShadowKnight

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RE: More than one girl? - 1/16/2005 1:36:09 PM

Quivver

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadowKnight

I agree that the key to long term success of a poly relationship is that the girls themselves need to have a relationship between each other as well. This does not need to be a sexual relationship...it can be a relationship as sisters. Jealousy tears any relationship apart, whether poly or not.

It is not any kind of "dick-measuring" or any of that. It just is a different form of relationship. Too often the comments of "dick measuring" come from those who have some type of percieved lack or wish to have a poly relationship and are just not sure how to broach the subject with their partner.

There are not a set number or a set way in which a poly relationship can be. Nor is there any law saying that everyone needs to be in a poly relationship. Poly relationships do not need to be sexual in nature for all parties involved to feel they are in a poly relationship.

Just My two tarn bits, your mileage will vary
ShadowKnight

some kind of relationship between the two of course would work if they are of the same mind set, I couldnt agree more. Not to point any fingers at anyone here but the way the idea is approached and in what context the relationship's between the Dom and the Sub's are has alot to do with it. The one I spoke of actually thought it would be entertaining to watch us battle for his affections, see which one would out do the other, of course with sex. Grrrrrrrr yes, I did take it for what it was and left. Hence Domless as usual. Had the presentation been different it may have worked well.

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Post #: 36

RE: More than one girl? - 1/16/2005 4:27:30 PM

ShadowKnight

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Quivver,
It sounds as if this was an idea that should have been broached at the beginning and not after the relationship has begun. The poly relationships that I have had that worked, the girls had their own relationship with each other exclusive of Me...I was in the Army at the time and gone to the field a lot as well so it was a good thing. The girls knew that I cared for each of them equally and each one got her private time with Me as well as the time of all of us together. In fact the only time that they ever fought was once whne I came home from the field hurt...then it was over who was going to stay home and take care of Me. I settled it by them having alternate days. Too bad I had to go to Korea and leave them behind :( but life goes on. As I said...it can and does work as long as things are equivocal with each one. Having them fight for My affection is just wrong and dishonorable to Me...but that is how I feel about it.

Just My two tarn bits,

ShadowKnight

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Post #: 37

RE: More than one girl? - 1/16/2005 8:22:27 PM

SubBunny

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Hello LovingMaster45:
thanks for your honest truth! Acutally the same thing entered my mind!
Jealousy will always be a big issue with this sub, and its bound to only get more intense as time goes by and i become even closer to my Master!.

< Message edited by SubBunny -- 1/16/2005 8:24:33 PM >

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Post #: 38

RE: More than one girl? - 1/16/2005 9:30:53 PM

hawkwolf7

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SubBunny

Hello LovingMaster45:
thanks for your honest truth! Acutally the same thing entered my mind!
Jealousy will always be a big issue with this sub, and its bound to only get more intense as time goes by and i become even closer to my Master!.

SubBunny,

Perhaps it is merely that written words do not always convey the full intent and meaning of the writer, but based solely on your words, I have to wonder if either you or your poly "sister" is really ready for this relationship, or maybe any poly relationship.

Allow me to illustrate...

I would think that in a healthy poly relationship, the submissives would reach out to support one another in times of trouble... including one or both feeling insecure, one or both feeling jealous, and one or both feeling competitive for the attention of the dominant.

In other words, it is the responsibility of every person within this type of poly relationship to reach out, connect, support, and reassure every person in the relationship!

More precisely, I would say that if a submissive or slave who sincerely takes his/her dominant's or master's desires to heart,
AND that the dominant/master desires a poly relationship,
AND that the dominant/master has made his desires clear to everyone,
AND that everyone agreed to a poly relationship (at least in principle),
THEN it would be true service for the submissive to reach out and build a solid, secure relationship with the other submissive.

But probably more important than the dominant's desire, is the question of your desire. Do you honestly desire to come to love and feel connected to your sister submissive as much as you desire these things with your dominant? And only you can know the answer.

If any person in a poly relationship cannot or does not feel this desire, then I believe that everyone in the relationship would be best served by simply saying that this poly relationship isn't going to work out.

Finally, there is no shame in trying to make a relationship work and failing, nor in really being monogamous. If you learned something about yourself that you didn't know before, the relationship was worth your time and emotional investment.

To quote a good friend of mine, "Polyamory isn't for everyone... but then neither is monogamy, and for many of the same reasons."

By the way, if I have misperceived your intent, please accept my apologies.

Sincerely,
HawkWolf

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Post #: 39

RE: More than one girl? - 1/20/2005 5:46:12 PM

sweetsubbunny

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i can add a comment to this.. i am in the same situation, me being the newest sub.. i am the beta sub.. 3 months with my Master. he has an alpha sub who is collored. she has known him 8 months to my 3..
i will be receiving my earned Collar next tuesday as he shared this with me.
we are both very happy and i know that i love being with this Master!
he is wonderful to me!
I can't complain at all knowing there is 2 subs to one Master, its ok with me..
i get what i need and he pleases me very much
thanks
sweet sub bunny...