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ORIGINAL: stormiKnightBEAR

Sherri you are off your rocker if you think that for one minute i am insisting that it mean anything to anyone. WHAT no one seems to understand......... and it's one of those if the shoe fits sayings...... LIFE does not have to be about half truths or lies.

IF someone is adult enough to make a decision then by god dayum be adult enought to be HONEST.....

stormi, I included the quote above only because of the remarkable difference in tone between this, your response to Sherri, and your opening post. Methinks Sherri got your blood pumping and breathed a bit of life into you there, and that isn't a bad thing! I absolutely like what you said, and agree. However, I also agree with Sherri.

I am also Poly, and have been in the lifestyle forever and ever (amen). We keep what we like, what is useful, beautiful, and loved (thank you, Sarah ban Breathnach) and leave the rest. That is not to say what you practice in your lifestyle is bad, or wrong. It is merely saying it doesn't fit or agree with mine.

What we absolutely agree on is that the "players" and "posuers" should somehow be weeded out. We do that individually, and as a group, regardless of our preferences within the lifestyle. As Mistress Dread said, when the internet put the world at our fingertips, it also opened the door for the game players and posuers as well.

stormi, we make the changes by our demonstrations, walking our talk, leading by example. I've made some good friends here at collarme, I've met one , and will be meeting another very soon. I have three subs who maintain their membership here (two are active on the message boards) , one will be 24/7 very soon. I have other friends in the lifestyle that I have invited to join collarme, and encourage them to participate here at the forums. It's all about communication. Let's always communicate with one another. By doing that, we narrow the playing field for the game players and posuers.

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That is
where stormi just wants to smack them in the head and say dayum can't you see the possibilities in the eyes???
Did you even bother to see if they had more to offer??? In short .... did you read the book or toss it because
the cover was not pretty enough???

We cannot tell others what to see, or what to like/prefer. We are not going to always approve or agree with the choices of others, just as they aren't always going to approve or agree with ours. Because they don't like "fat" people doesn't affect your value, your position, or you as a person. Don't take it personally. You allowed yourself to be upset by something that had absolutely nothing to do with you. If someone were to say they didn't want me for a Mistress because they don't like Scottish Women, I wouldn't be upset and want to smack them in the head and say, "damn, can't you see the possibilities in the eyes???" It wouldn't mean anything to me at all. Aye, I am Scottish, but they don't know me, and therefore it couldn't possibly be "personal". Don't accept things that aren't "personal".

I agree with you, stormi, that it would be nice if more people, when creating their profile, would include their preferences regarding physical features, ie "prefer redheads", or "no BBW please" so that everyone is clear on what the expectations are.

I like the sound of "country bumpkin" it speaks of charm and sincerity.

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From my perspective, somebody who "black balls" or says negative things about another person by name makes me think less of the person doing the nattering.

"nattering" lol, My Mam used that term a lot.

I've never understood that "For me to be good you have to be bad" concept. I just don't like it and I've never allowed myself to be involved in that sort of thing. My family does that a lot. If my father is angry with one of my siblings, then whoever speaks to that sibling, of course, gets their name added to the list as well. Oh darn! I'm going to talk to whoever I want to talk to, and if someone else doesn't like them, welllllll that is between the two of them and has nothing to do with me.

In this type of forum it is a different story. If it involves one of My subs, I will instruct them to back off and put the person on ignore, end of story. I don't care who is right, wrong, or otherwise. If they owe someone an apology, it will be given, and they will drop it henceforth.

People are going to disagree. Fact of life. lol I do believe we can manage that in a civil manner.

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I agree with you, stormi, that it would be nice if more people, when creating their profile, would include their preferences regarding physical features, ie "prefer redheads", or "no BBW please" so that everyone is clear on what the expectations are.

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I have been amazed at the devotion that "true" collared subs feel for their D's, in both mono and poly relationships - the bond is as strong as any legal marriage I have ever known, and in some cases is the same as. The collar is not something the local group takes lightly. I've met a number of married dom/mes and subs in the local org, some that participate with their spouses knowledge, and some that chose to live the dual life for fear of reprisal (family, job, etc.). To those that have never thought about it, living the dual life is not an easy thing to do, but it's a lot easier if the individual is at least honest in their lifestyle activity and admits to being attached to minimize the complications as much as possible. It's important to realize that the D's and subs that are married to others outside the lifestyle, do fill an essential need that each has, and the lives of the non-participants can benefit from their spouses activity. It's not just play - it's filling a need!

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That said, there are many who do not place that kind of importance on a ko'lar/collar.

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Thinking it might be good to hire a professional read between the lines person. As it seems that EVERYONE tried to read between the lines of what stormi and others write.

News Flash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

stormi writes exactly what she means. NO hidden meaning.