RE: The your not my Dom syndrome

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RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 11:28:28 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72
the way I read it as if almost He IS MINE thing going on........jealousy maybe showing its ugly face?

No, almost all of the time it's just more practical to write "my dom" rather than "the dom I am in a relationship with as his sub" all the time.

Though it is why I tend to write "the owner" more often than not.

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RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 11:31:10 AM

JustaTop

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I'm too easy going and independent to be "owned".

That sort of insecurity is very wearisome to have to deal with in a woman.

If she gives me what I need, the chances of my wandering are nil-if she refuses to-the chances are, I will simply lose interest. I'm not that jealous, I just hate to be taken for granted. The whole titles thing is moot to me,I'm secure enough not to care about that-just call me by my name.

Leave the protocols and rituals to people who need a crutch-I don't.

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RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 11:37:05 AM

SirSix72

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exaclty the point i was trying to get across.........the way we come across to each other with the context of a sentence is important in this medium wouldnt you agree?

Master Six

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Post #: 63

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 11:39:57 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72
exaclty the point i was trying to get across.........the way we come across to each other with the context of a sentence is important in this medium wouldnt you agree?
Master Six

Yes, but just as important is realizing that because *I* perceive it as such, does not mean that was the intention of the person or what they actually mean by it.

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RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 12:09:07 PM

Kasia

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I see no problems in being/not being someones sub/dom. When I send private messages/mails around here, I treat all people with equal respect, it doesnt matter if they are submissives, dominants, switches or anything else.
"I want to be you humble worm Mistress/kneel before my feet you piece of dirt" type of communication I find as online roleplaying and lack of manners and am willing to take no part in those things. In fact, I find it ridicolous.

Just recently we met with potential submissive and had an evening together. When we were on the leave he asked me if we are going to meet again. I said: "If you want to". If we had any sort of established relationship he would be our sub and the question of meeting again would never rise. Either he will already know when and where, either I would tell him right away "See you Saturday 5 p.m." or something like that.
Since we are still in "under consideration" terms (both us and him), I dont find it proper to treat him like I would any other human being - with respect.

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RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 12:25:26 PM

pinkpleasures

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quote:

yes I would take the time to read the logs and to see if there was actually a refraction she had comitted...and I can see where alot of people are gun shy about referring to someone as Master or Sir...there are alot of people that dont deserve the title I will admit but never the less I think there is a way to come across without being rude.......then again im from the south and this is just considered manners

Master Six

Am i misreading Your posts, or have You changed Your position? Now common courtesy -- like mutual respect -- is what You seek to give and receive? Sounded as if You wished for an exalted position by virtue of being a self-proclaimed dominant Man....i concur completely with mutual respect and courtesy.

pinkpleasures

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Post #: 66

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 2:03:59 PM

SirSix72

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I freely admit sometimes I come across as being over bearing but then again look at the way alot of defenses are put up in the approach to a subject...I have learned a different way of bringing it across to the community....well I look at it that alot of people have a problem showing manners so I decided to take another approach to the situation that is more feasable...I know there are alot of jerks and women jerks too...lmao..we all have to find some common ground with each other to meet upon and find some mutual respect for one another....just because a person is a slave dosent give me the authority to be rude...if I am respectable to my title and show you common curtosity by addressing you as such you are,sub/slave, I do tend to like little one and have been saying this for alot of years and im not referring to you as slut or whore then shouldnt the same approach be returned to Me as Sir or Master..this dosent mean I am your Owner by any means or that I would give you some ambigious task because you have an honorific or title, thats unbecoming of a man of honor and respect....

Master six

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RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 2:11:46 PM

ImpGrrl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72

if I am respectable to my title and show you common curtosity by addressing you as such you are,sub/slave, I do tend to like little one and have been saying this for alot of years and im not referring to you as slut or whore then shouldnt the same approach be returned to Me as Sir or Master..this dosent mean I am your Owner by any means or that I would give you some ambigious task because you have an honorific or title, thats unbecoming of a man of honor and respect....

I believe that this is the point exactly.

In my opinion, and in that of many I know, it *is* "rude" to address one accorfing to their "station". The polite/courteous/mannerly way, in these circles, is to address one another as *fellow human beings*. Having a different relational role, *not* in a relationship with one another, does not give them status/station in social situations.

Now - that may differ depending on specific group/party/event - and if it's expected that one has a "station" at that group/party/event, then one is agreeing to that simly by being there.

However. If not in that type of situation, and not in relationship with the other, then there is no station. There is human being one and human being two - both deserving of equal courtesy and equal "respect". No special titles, no special treatment.

As for as "little one" - it's been pointed out by several people in this thread and others that to some it's not only irritating, it's offensive. If one continues to address others in a known-to-be offensive way - I certainly don't call that "respectful", no matter *that* you perceive your (or their) "station" to be.

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RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 4:08:37 PM

felineone

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It is very different in the south... i'm from the pacific northwest.. only time i heard sir or ma'am was if the person had been in the military. Here, (Louisiana), it's like children are taught to say yes Ma'am and yes Sir to their parents even.. and always answer everyone with that.. and if they don't hear me they say ma'am? instead of excuse me? or what? If offered something, my kids were taught to say yes please, or no thank you, good manners... but here unless you say yes ma'am you are being rude and don't have manners...there is a very distinct cultural difference.

just my 2 cents about manners.

~feline~

< Message edited by felineone -- 10/24/2005 4:10:28 PM >

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RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 5:33:00 PM

SirSix72

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ImpGrrl

As for as "little one" - it's been pointed out by several people in this thread and others that to some it's not only irritating, it's offensive. If one continues to address others in a known-to-be offensive way - I certainly don't call that "respectful", no matter *that* you perceive your (or their) "station" to be.

then if you are in your station then why would such a remark as little one ruffle your feathers....are you or arent you a sub/slave.......maybe each this would apply to someone that only plays part time.......I am always in my station and never mistakes my kindness for weakness.....this is almost saying that you bestow me some kind of honor that you call me sir or Master.....to be honset and not sound prude the person bestowing it means nothing....it is how "I" feel about it.....once again I will emphasize a sub dosent make a Dom or a Master we make and mold you......it would seem that the script is becoming flipped again.....it is almost as if the sub/slave is trying to define the Dominant once again....review my other threads and posts
respect is given when it is earned or approached at the beginning...not somewhere in the middle when a sub/slave decides that there has been enough to prove you are honorable...take a long look from both sides...shouls there not be somewhere to meet in the middle while remaining in your prospective station?
Master Six

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RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 5:35:15 PM

JustaTop

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Hey dude,if you really want to flip this one over for perspective.

Go into a gorean chatroom with the handle "Bator" sometime.

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RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 5:36:47 PM

SirSix72

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lmfaorotf

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RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 5:45:21 PM

AAkasha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72

quote:

ORIGINAL: ImpGrrl

As for as "little one" - it's been pointed out by several people in this thread and others that to some it's not only irritating, it's offensive. If one continues to address others in a known-to-be offensive way - I certainly don't call that "respectful", no matter *that* you perceive your (or their) "station" to be.

then if you are in your station then why would such a remark as little one ruffle your feathers....are you or arent you a sub/slave.......maybe each this would apply to someone that only plays part time.......I am always in my station and never mistakes my kindness for weakness.....this is almost saying that you bestow me some kind of honor that you call me sir or Master.....to be honset and not sound prude the person bestowing it means nothing....it is how "I" feel about it.....once again I will emphasize a sub dosent make a Dom or a Master we make and mold you......it would seem that the script is becoming flipped again.....it is almost as if the sub/slave is trying to define the Dominant once again....review my other threads and posts
respect is given when it is earned or approached at the beginning...not somewhere in the middle when a sub/slave decides that there has been enough to prove you are honorable...take a long look from both sides...shouls there not be somewhere to meet in the middle while remaining in your prospective station?
Master Six

Referring to subs as "little one" is just plain lame. It's like people who play so much D&D that they can't have a normal conversation with friends/people without slipping into bad accents and thinking they are living in The Lord of the Rings.

If it means that much to you, go right ahead and keep doing it. But understand that you lose credibility and respect by a great many who read your words and just think you're a puffed up cyberplayer.

Akasha

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RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 5:51:48 PM

JustaTop

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I dunno,I never called anyone little one.

I do notice that a majority of those who call it to themselves weigh something like 300 plus pounds though. But Medieval humor never really died, did it?

< Message edited by JustaTop -- 10/24/2005 5:52:25 PM >

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RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 5:56:54 PM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72

quote:

ORIGINAL: ImpGrrl

As for as "little one" - it's been pointed out by several people in this thread and others that to some it's not only irritating, it's offensive. If one continues to address others in a known-to-be offensive way - I certainly don't call that "respectful", no matter *that* you perceive your (or their) "station" to be.

then if you are in your station then why would such a remark as little one ruffle your feathers....are you or arent you a sub/slave.......maybe each this would apply to someone that only plays part time.......

Oh......

I know exactly what Fox would say to this and I would only smile and nod as he did so:
I am her slave, not yours.

Being a submissive or a slave, a dominant or owner is both a role and a relationship designation. When one uses terms of endearment or belittlement, one runs the great risk of being thought of as presuming a relationship where none exists.

It's it just easier to avoid potential miscommunications and not use titles, honorifics, endearments, and belittlements and just treat each other as people unless you are asked to do otherwise?

Let's stick with Fox for the example. If you and I meet somewhere with our slaves in tow and I introduce you to Fox as "Fox" then we are sending the clear signal that you should call him "Fox" regardless of his relationship with me. If I introduce myself to you and your slave uses a title for me (I would never introduce myself with one) I would then, because I respect your ownership, look at you and say "I'm much more comfortable with her just calling me TammyJo or ma'am".

At that point, what is it polite for you to do in regards to talking to Fox and I?

You can tell me how you'd introduce yourself to us in return and I'd respond about my own personal rules and then we'd do a brief negotiation on what to call each other or we'd just shrug and walk on to the next person to meet.

My overall point is that each dominant, each owner, has his/her own rules about titles and honorifics. If you insist on you and yours being called a certain way or just start using titles, aren't you trying to undermine another owner or dominant's authority?

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 10/24/2005 5:58:17 PM >

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RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 6:02:03 PM

SirSix72

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Referring to subs as "little one" is just plain lame. It's like people who play so much D&D that they can't have a normal conversation with friends/people without slipping into bad accents and thinking they are living in The Lord of the Rings.

If it means that much to you, go right ahead and keep doing it. But understand that you lose credibility and respect by a great many who read your words and just think you're a puffed up cyberplayer.

Akasha

I will continue to stand my ground but if your asking that I change something I say to one person or the few that are bothered by it because there is a viable reason like one said in another thread her height botherd her as a child and I can understand....as for some of the others that ive had run ins with before on the boards with this same topic but in a different context ? thier opinon's or approval dosent matter to me either in the same respect........have they issued me any courtesy or just decided this isnt the way it works for them and shoved it down my throat and expected that I should sink away in the shadows with my tail tucked in between my legs I think not.......if you have a geniune problem with something you are called then sure I can see that it can be arranged to not do it but to demand to me as if im some pig headed cyberplayer...there is a thing called poise and tact? I can imagine I have ruffled quite a few feathers on this subject and on others I have posted and there are a great many besides myself that feels that way I do about the things we all see happening..........but again if it works for you go for it...everyone has opinons...

Master Six

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RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 6:06:23 PM

AAkasha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Referring to subs as "little one" is just plain lame. It's like people who play so much D&D that they can't have a normal conversation with friends/people without slipping into bad accents and thinking they are living in The Lord of the Rings.

If it means that much to you, go right ahead and keep doing it. But understand that you lose credibility and respect by a great many who read your words and just think you're a puffed up cyberplayer.

Akasha

I will continue to stand my ground but if your asking that I change something I say to one person or the few that are bothered by it because there is a viable reason like one said in another thread her height botherd her as a child and I can understand....as for some of the others that ive had run ins with before on the boards with this same topic but in a different context ? thier opinon's or approval dosent matter to me either in the same respect........have they issued me any courtesy or just decided this isnt the way it works for them and shoved it down my throat and expected that I should sink away in the shadows with my tail tucked in between my legs I think not.......if you have a geniune problem with something you are called then sure I can see that it can be arranged to not do it but to demand to me as if im some pig headed cyberplayer...there is a thing called poise and tact? I can imagine I have ruffled quite a few feathers on this subject and on others I have posted and there are a great many besides myself that feels that way I do about the things we all see happening..........but again if it works for you go for it...everyone has opinons...

Master Six

So do you speak that way in real life? In a room full of strangers engaging in conversation, where your words are what people will have to evaluate you, do you refer to subs as "little one" when everyone else isn't feeling the need to use such clever terminology?

It's really up to you -- most people won't say anything, most will just read it and move on. I'm just telling you that the silent majority will effectively give you the cyber "rolling eyes" and not hear much else that you have to say.

Akasha

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RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 6:08:36 PM

SirSix72

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here is where things seem to get really foggy....if you are property then you have an Owner.........if you refer to me as a Master or Sir does this imply Ownership...I think not.........A Dom/Sir/Master doesnt need a sub/slave to define His/Her station....nor does the sub/slave need a Dominate to define His/Her...what denotes a relationship is the Ownership of another.......your Owner owns you not you own Him.....like by saying "my Dom" denotes ownership in the context it is written......my Owner denotes that He in turn owns you......all this fog kinda hard to see......

Master Six

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RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 6:11:50 PM

Vancouver_cinful

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSix72

then if you are in your station then why would such a remark as little one ruffle your feathers....are you or arent you a sub/slave.......maybe each this would apply to someone that only plays part time.......

Ah, but I am not a little one to you. I am your equal. I am older than you and possess as much or more life experience and wisdom. Therefore I would feel that you are making an assumption that I am not your equal.

It won't fly.

My mentor still calls me little one (although we no longer engage in D/s interactions), and, as he is many years older and more experienced than I, I feel it's fitting. From anyone who doesn't know me I consider it an arrogant assumption of superiority on their part.

As for part-time vs full-time...Not sure what that has to do with it?

Cin

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