RE: The your not my Dom syndrome

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RE: The your not my Dom syndrome

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RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/23/2005 8:32:19 PM

JustaTop

Posts: 511
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline

Firstly, a slave cannot reflect upon the honor of a Master-especially in a gorean sense.

Secondly, a standing order I have ALWAYS had for online interactions, is that if a fight seems to be erupting,or she is being harassed by another dom-she exits-NOW. This makes these issues moot.

As well,I have lurked..Using a girl's hotmask and nick,and torn new assholes for those who dared to step on MY toes- via HER. It's really amusing to have an jerk trying to "poach", and then just telling him, "You know,this is actually her dom-and you and I will have words when I see you at the club next week."

And thirdly-no one uses me as a tool to enforce thier ways on MY property-period. *I* decide if a limit has been crossed-no one else.

(in reply to SirSix72)

Post #: 21

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/23/2005 8:35:31 PM

Delvin

Posts: 151
Joined: 8/23/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline

ahh the power of the off switch... this is simply childish acting out, "I don't have to do what you tell me neener neener". Online is easy, hit the power switch, place the person on ignore, or simply ignore them without any effort on your part, but to sit and blab out and attempt to gain sympathy from others in the room is just that, childish acting out with no real concept or self control.

Be respectful to each other and amazing how things change, be an ass and golly gee then people are soooo mean...

*sips his coffee and chuckles*

Now, come to my house with your Master, and I ask you to please help my slave serve dinner and let me see you say, "I dont have to neener neener"....Will be happy to hand your Master the whip..

Have a great day.

D

(in reply to shaohua)

Post #: 22

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/23/2005 8:38:40 PM

SirSix72

Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

I can identify with that.....the honor that used to be common place among men went out the window when kink came into the light...now its everyone for themselves without any honorable approach to any lifestyle...this is something we will all be plagued with unfourtanely

Master Six

_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to JustaTop)

Post #: 23

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/23/2005 8:52:36 PM

FLButtSlut

Posts: 342
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Delvin

Now, come to my house with your Master, and I ask you to please help my slave serve dinner and let me see you say, "I dont have to neener neener"....Will be happy to hand your Master the whip..

Have a great day.

D

Personally, because I am NOT yours, and you have the courtesy to use that simple little word, I know that I wouldn't every think to say such a "neener, neener" thing in response, and I doubt many would. I say that from the position of coming to your house for dinner without a master. Even in a vanilla situation, if I go to a friend's for dinner, and someone says can you "please"....the whole courtesy and respect given gets it in return concept. I'm willing to bet that YOUR sub/slave is quite happy with you.

(in reply to Delvin)

Post #: 24

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/23/2005 8:57:39 PM

JustaTop

Posts: 511
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline

Honor has never been all that common-it's another "golden age" fallacy Six.

I don't worry about it..Prefferring to simply keep my own house in order.

(in reply to SirSix72)

Post #: 25

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/23/2005 9:12:15 PM

DesertRat

Posts: 1447
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JustaTop

Honor has never been all that common-it's another "golden age" fallacy Six.

I don't worry about it..Prefferring to simply keep my own house in order.

Damn! It is so GOOD to finally hear someone say that the "good old days" weren't really all that good. Not a popular notion, but one that I believe. Thanks.

Bob

(in reply to JustaTop)

Post #: 26

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/23/2005 9:29:50 PM

JustaTop

Posts: 511
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline

I'm a hard nosed realist-what more can I say?

People are just people, older ages were only more of the same.

(in reply to DesertRat)

Post #: 27

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/23/2005 10:43:50 PM

gypsyeyez

Posts: 28
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline

Ok just the thoughts from a rambling gypsy...lol

I for one am one that will show respect to A/all however certain titles are reserved in my mind and in protocal I was taught... That it is ok to say yes Ms or yes Ma'am or Sir in some cases... Lots of times I will cap their name. I reserve Mistress and most of my yes Ma'ams for my One. However I do believe in showing respect at all times, no matter if You are my Dominant or not. For if I would show anything but total respect I believe it would lower my honor and value as a submissive.

Again just my thoughts and the way I have been taught.

~*~gypsy~*~

_____________________________

~*~gypsy~*~

The delve into the depths of the soul of another one must first have the guts to search their eyes for hours...
for the eyes truly are the windows of the soul.

(in reply to SirSix72)

Post #: 28

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/23/2005 10:48:58 PM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1002
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

This is something else im trying to gather and understanding on........the your not my Dom syndrome.......I often wonder where this came from and why........I can understand that this is something that has becomed earned to be called in time with anyone...but what I dont see is the harm in calling someone Sir or Master......can you not be polite and get your point across without being rude by saying your not my Dom therefore I owe you no respect..I can see where there are many men and women are trtying to convey something they arent by the on your knees bitch thing.........I can see being polite to anyone would get you much further than immedialty responding with the phrase that you arent my Dom..............I would beat bella black and blue if she wasnt cordial to those that arent free and address them properly......I already see those saying there is another high protocol droid bantering about that everyone should refer to him as some authority figure.........I have also seen lots of other threads get smashed into the ground with this approach to a sub/slave having manners.......just wanted everyone else's take on this situation I see alot in the chatrooms and out of them........

Master Six

Cordial is one thing. Sir is earned. No one said don't have manners; but if you think that the 'subbies' are just standing around waiting for you to walk by so we have someone to call "Sir" you are nuts.

And there's nothing that you've said yet that would make me regard you as Sir yet.

And here's a clue, dude. Anyone that calls themselves "Master" (enter other part of the name) to me hasn't really got any understanding of what this is all about. Being someone's Master is one thing; calling one's self Master is indicitive of so many more things.

Lily

_____________________________

If it's not fun, why bother?

(in reply to SirSix72)

Post #: 29

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/23/2005 11:09:12 PM

SirSix72

Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

And here's a clue, dude. Anyone that calls themselves "Master" (enter other part of the name) to me hasn't really got any understanding of what this is all about. Being someone's Master is one thing; calling one's self Master is indicitive of so many more things.

Lily

Then maybe you could shed some light to the rest of us exaclty where it is that you are coming from....what would you consider as having the honor of you calling someone "Sir" dudette?

_____________________________

I wish you well

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 30

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/23/2005 11:10:44 PM

Phoenxx

Posts: 246
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Winnipeg
Status: offline

One question I like to ask when I see someone saying call me Sir.. is how did you earn the title? Sir Anthony Hopkins earned the title because of his vast acting skills...
Sir Sean Connery was finally awarded it, in spite of his political views..
And Sir Isaac Newton for his contributions to science…
The first time my name was printed in reference to a kink activity I was asked how my name should be printed. I said Tony… just Tony. About half the people were shocked I didn’t use a title. The fact is calling myself Sir Tony, Master Tony and demanding that others do so too, doesn’t mean squat. There are a few people in our community that call me Sir.. and some that call me asshole LOL… The fact is a person calling you Sir doesn’t make you dominant. It is what is inside you. It is who you are.
I do agree that manners over all are seeming to disappear in our society. But, when you live in a world where teachers are less concerned with teaching and more concerned with being kids buddies, and do so by being on a first names basis … what can you expect. My kids call our friends by their first names when they have been told it’s ok… and most of our friends seem to prefer it that way. It’s part of the times we live in. They are still polite.. just less formal. But hey, I like to eat steak with my fingers…. Finger licking good…
Tony

(in reply to SirSix72)

Post #: 31

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/23/2005 11:17:58 PM

Evanesce

Posts: 633
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

I am a slave. I belong to one man, whom I call "Sir," and refer to in my posts as "Master." I do not call even HIM Master when I address Him, so why would I use that term with anyone else?

I am also a dominant, currently in negotiations with a potential slave of my own. Does the fact that I am a slave, myself, mean that, even though to the rest of the world I am dominant, I should automatically defer to anyone else who identifies as dominant? I think not. My status within my relationships has no bearing on my interactions with others.

_____________________________

Denise
the Kaptin's wench

(in reply to SirSix72)

Post #: 32

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/23/2005 11:47:56 PM

JohnWarren

Posts: 1931
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

And here's a clue, dude. Anyone that calls themselves "Master" (enter other part of the name) to me hasn't really got any understanding of what this is all about. Being someone's Master is one thing; calling one's self Master is indicitive of so many more things.

Lily

There is an old martial arts saying "If someone tells you he is a master, he probably isn't."

_____________________________

----
www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 33

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/23/2005 11:50:57 PM

Phoenxx

Posts: 246
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Winnipeg
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

And here's a clue, dude. Anyone that calls themselves "Master" (enter other part of the name) to me hasn't really got any understanding of what this is all about. Being someone's Master is one thing; calling one's self Master is indicitive of so many more things.

Lily

There is an old martial arts saying "If someone tells you he is a master, he probably isn't."

here is another... I have a black belt .. it holds up my pants....

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 34

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/23/2005 11:52:53 PM

IronBear

Posts: 2678
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat

quote:

ORIGINAL: JustaTop

Honor has never been all that common-it's another "golden age" fallacy Six.

I don't worry about it..Prefferring to simply keep my own house in order.

Damn! It is so GOOD to finally hear someone say that the "good old days" weren't really all that good. Not a popular notion, but one that I believe. Thanks.

Bob

The good old days never were that good were they Bob? We tend, I think to selectively forget all the crap and remember what we liked that was "good" I think that, seeing you and I are somewhat in a similar age group, we probably remember the levels of good manners which seem to have dissapeared with the advent of the nuclear family. Perhaps there are just enough of us who value good manners about that the younger generations can tag and want to keep some form of good manners alive. But I may, of course be wrong as I often am in such things.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

And here's a clue, dude. Anyone that calls themselves "Master" (enter other part of the name) to me hasn't really got any understanding of what this is all about. Being someone's Master is one thing; calling one's self Master is indicitive of so many more things.

Lily

In the context of others refering to you my the title or Sir or Master because you are a dominant, I'll agree with you Lily. I can agree with your views about self styled masters within the BDSM arena in part. However there are people who have, as we've all discussed in other threads, earned the right to ce called master in specific areas. lets lkeave out the areas of Master Craftsmen etc, but two other examples do come to mind. A Gorean Free Man who owns a slave is by Gorean Custom, earned the title of Master, and as you know all Gorean slaves will address all Gorean Free mes as master (that is custom and as such is written in stone) but none of us expect any non Gorean sub/slave to follow that unless they are in our homes visiting. On another area. I call myself Master because I am the Master of my House. This, which is also archaic too, is a legitimate claim.

However, I never worry about what some one calls me. If they are rude when addressing me I'll bristle or just shut them off. If they are even being jocular but respectfull, I'll enjoy their mode of address. Strewth I have a sub friend who in private refers to me as "shithead sir".. It stems from a long standing joke we shared.

I too have problems with Dominants who expect and demand ever sub/slave call them Sir/Master and kneel before them. No girl in my collar witll ever comply with such demands, and if I'm not there and she is abused, the matter will be reported to me and I'll confront the person face to face to deal with it.

Personally, my philosophy is summed up in one of my signature lines: "Yes, I am a Master, just not your Master."

_____________________________

Be Well
Iron Bear

Master of House Iron Bear

Yes, I am a Master, but not your Master..........

The Incorrigible, irrepressible, irreverent grizzly

(in reply to DesertRat)

Post #: 35

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 12:01:27 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 1931
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
However, I never worry about what some one calls me. If they are rude when addressing me I'll bristle or just shut them off. If they are even being jocular but respectfull, I'll enjoy their mode of address. Strewth I have a sub friend who in private refers to me as "shithead sir".. It stems from a long standing joke we shared.

I tend to separate respect and courtesy. Often, in my behavior, I use courtesy as a lubricant with those for which I don't have a lot of respect. In fact, with some, I'm downright Elizabethan. Since I really usually need to know someone to respect them, the outward forms of courtesy may be relaxed a bit. In fact, in some cases, the respect is shown by that relaxation (although not in all cases).

As illustration, I recall one time a gunnery sgt, looked at me and said "You know, you ain't as dumb as most officers." That was one of my proudest moments made all the more so since this particular guy was famous for saluting asshole shavetails with speed and precision whenever there was a chance Charlie might be watching.

_____________________________

----
www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 36

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 12:12:19 AM

IronBear

Posts: 2678
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

As illustration, I recall one time a gunnery sgt, looked at me and said "You know, you ain't as dumb as most officers." That was one of my proudest moments made all the more so since this particular guy was famous for saluting asshole shavetails with speed and precision whenever there was a chance Charlie might be watching.

I guess that those of us who may just be smarter than the average bear have similar experiences John.. yep with friends formality goes out the window (depending on the situation) and we relax together. I immagine this is based on mutual respect. When in doubt, like you, I tend to me somewhat Elizabethan with people I dont know, especially in formal situations.

_____________________________

Be Well
Iron Bear

Master of House Iron Bear

Yes, I am a Master, but not your Master..........

The Incorrigible, irrepressible, irreverent grizzly

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 37

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 4:51:59 AM

pinkpleasures

Posts: 1114
Joined: 7/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

This is something else im trying to gather and understanding on........the your not my Dom syndrome.......I often wonder where this came from and why........I can understand that this is something that has becomed earned to be called in time with anyone...but what I dont see is the harm in calling someone Sir or Master......can you not be polite and get your point across without being rude by saying your not my Dom therefore I owe you no respect..I can see where there are many men and women are trtying to convey something they arent by the on your knees bitch thing.........I can see being polite to anyone would get you much further than immedialty responding with the phrase that you arent my Dom..............I would beat bella black and blue if she wasnt cordial to those that arent free and address them properly......I already see those saying there is another high protocol droid bantering about that everyone should refer to him as some authority figure.........I have also seen lots of other threads get smashed into the ground with this approach to a sub/slave having manners.......just wanted everyone else's take on this situation I see alot in the chatrooms and out of them........

Master Six

First, let me say i hope the "beating black and blue" was a metaphor, not something You'd actually do to bella. Aside from that, in emails i am always polite, and will say "Sir" but "Master" is another story..esp from Men whose nick is "MasteroftheUniversive". If a Man is so insecure that unless EVERY woman refers to Him as a "Master" then i lose respect for Him.

Chat rooms are a different story. Some Men enter and demand to be called "Master" by everyone...it is annoying and goofy. And in my opinion, it shows a lack of understanding. i do call some Men "Master" if i know Them, but strangers are a different story; i may or may not use the honorific, and if i don't i do not expect the Man to flip out.

Being polite, in emails and chat rooms, does not require every subbie and slave to bow and scrape..i agree there are (or should be) protocols but strict adherence to them will never happen (partially because P/pl cannot agree as to what they are) and P/pl should be able to relax and have fun in chat.

pinkpleasures

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 10/24/2005 4:53:29 AM >

_____________________________

Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant with the weak and the wrong. Sometime in your life you will have been all of these."
~ Bob Goddard ~

(in reply to SirSix72)

Post #: 38

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 4:59:28 AM

pinkpleasures

Posts: 1114
Joined: 7/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

There is a lack of manners in this day and age, not just in this lifestyle. I am not a submissive and I treat everyone with respect. I was raised to say "yes, sir....no, sir" and "yes ma'am...no ma'am". Even children these days get away with back talk and rudeness. I think it is very sad.

DallasDiva

i could not agree more. i was raised to refer to adults as "Mr and Mrs White" and while raising my child, was corrected "no, we want to be called Bob and Sue by your kid". Some things i did manage to impart; like writing thank you notes, and i'm proud of my kid and her manners...but she definately stands out because of them.

pinkpleasures

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 10/24/2005 5:00:11 AM >

_____________________________

Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant with the weak and the wrong. Sometime in your life you will have been all of these."
~ Bob Goddard ~

(in reply to DallasDiva)

Post #: 39

RE: The your not my Dom syndrome - 10/24/2005 5:11:17 AM

Littlepita

Posts: 337
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline

I am always very polite to anyone I talk to. If your username has the word Sir or Master in it I will type it that way. But, I don't call anyone Sir or Master in the way I would my Dom. I however haven't ever had anyone try to tell me I had to. That would be funny though if someone did.

_____________________________

~There are two kinds of strengths: the strength to lead, and the strength to follow; the strength to control, and the strength to yield. There are two kinds of power: the power to strip another's soul bare, and the power to stand naked. By Yalda Tovah

(in reply to pinkpleasures)

Post #: 40

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