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ORIGINAL: pollux
if we believe and value what our Dominant sisters are telling us, it is our challenge (and a challenge it is) to sublimate our submissive and masochistic tendencies, to reserve them for when a Mistress is desiring to experience them, and in nearly every other situation to accord ourselves as confident, competent, happy-go-lucky nilla beans.

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What's amusing to me is that a woman who goes searching for a male submissive acts surprised (and apparently turned off) when she actually finds....a male submissive.

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ORIGINAL: KCAttitude

Yes I agree Completly with this one!! I've met a few subs who sit around waiting for Me to email or call them. Never initiating a call just to say hello, or I'm thinking of you. They seem to think that just because they are submissive that means they can just sit back and wait for someone else to do all the work in building the relationship. submission should NOT equal laziness, or lack of initiative.

I've heard a LOT of subs say that they didnt do anything because they didn't want to overstep their bounds, or seem pushy. Well I suppose that could be a catch 22 of sorts. But in My opinion it always best to show initiative and a desire to serve...the Dominant will let you know if She thinks you are getting out of place.

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ORIGINAL: SweetDommes
The current favorite potential (of the two that we are talking to) has our phone numbers and has had for a month or two. He hasn't called us yet It's getting to be a waiting game. I have told him more than once that he is welcome to call when he can't be at his computer, but still ... no call. I'm sure that he's waiting for me to call him, but I've done everything short of demand that he call to see if he will take the initiative.

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ORIGINAL: SweetDommes
I don't think it's that - I know that his computer blew up for awhile (which is where he has our number stored, of course) ... and then he lost his voice.

we are planning to get together to at least meet, so it's not like he's copping out entirely ... maybe he just hates phones and doesn't want to tell us (we have friends like that - it's not unheard of).

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We could turn this around and ask the same thing.
*Be honest with yourselves and be honest with us. You're really not looking for a FemDom, are you? What you're looking for is an attractive, sexy lady who'll give you kinky sex.*

**edited to add: I look forward to reading your profile when it is approved. Welcome to collarme and to the boards.

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ORIGINAL: onceburned

Since you identify as submissive, do you really see yourself as incompetent? I am guessing not - - from the tone of your message you certainly doen't seem to lack confidence.

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ORIGINAL: TiNeedsHouseboy

Before addressing your remark below, I gotta ask: Out of all possible user names that you might have selected, why have you opted to use "Pollux" as your login name? Interesting choice.... and a refreshing change from the spate of sexual innuendo.

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ORIGINAL: TiNeedsHouseboy

I'm wondering if you're confusing the notion of libido (the sexually charged energizing river that drives every aspect of humans' core beings because it's inherent to our life instincts) with sex and horniness.

~ Ti ~

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ORIGINAL: AAkashsa

But do you see a difference between a man who "has a submissive personality" and a man who "has a desire to submit"? There are men who enjoy submission on a certain level, but are not submissive in their daily life, or in their interactions with women. They are not passive, and they are not just looking for a woman to do all the work from a courting, flirting, sexuality standpoint. There is nothing about them that would make you think they are submissive.

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A lot of these men are out in the dating world, getting together with *vanilla* women and bringing out their femdom side. A self confident man with an assertive, self-aware attitude and a great ability to read people tends to find women who may not be "dominant" -- but she's keen on the idea once she gets the drift. He is the type of guy that dates women who are demanding in all areas of their life, are adventurous, have a high appetite for sex and trying new things. I've met a few of these subs, and unlike the usual story you hear of dating woes and inability to ever meet a femdom or any woman for that matter, he has a track record of "getting" women interested in BDSM in his relationships and it takes off for them. And, this is really all they want; they don't want a 24/7 TPE relationship anyway, they want a woman who is their equal, but also is a femdom.

When these types of subs go into the BDSM dating pool they don't have as much trouble because their type is in high demand. They tend to be more selective about their femdom partners, also.

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ORIGINAL: SweetDommes


Again, we are not looking for vanilla men - I would be able to live with that, but Holly wouldn't, and therefore, that can't be what we are looking for. And if we were looking for a "vanilla man who's tolerant and indulgent of [our] kinks" we could have had that ages ago.