AutumnSpell
Posts: 15
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: GoddessMarissa
I would suggest finding some BDSM groups in your area, go to a munch, and posting on your profile as to what you are looking for. Sometimes you just gotta put yourself out there. In a vanilla world it seems to be alot more difficult, but when you surround yourself around people with the same interests it might be eaiser.
I have to say this is polar opposite from what I would suggest. I actually don’t think that the vanilla world exists as much as it is a cover for the dark that we don’t publicly admit too. I have heard that all flaovrs of icecream actually begin as vanilla and the other flavors are added. Such it is with the world of D/s. In 20 years of talking with good friends and even some evening acquaintances, it is an exceptionally rare event to find someone that didn’t become enraptured with a conversation involving D/s and bondage. Even a few times that a women would say for the benefit of those at the table, “Oh, that’s disgusting”, the twinkle in her eye told me that she would be thinking about it for days. Vanilla simply doesn’t exist as a distinct group separated from the D/s community. And as such, the entire world is available for you to begin your quest.
I wouldn’t expect the internet or even local groups will be a good starting point in your search. But it depends on what you are looking for. If you are looking for an experienced sub that will just come over and play, from time to time, then a local munch would perhaps work… but it is a narrow band of the community and I don’t suggest that scene. If you are looking for something more long-term, with more than fling tendencies, I suggest hitting the real world and finding a friend. This is not a project for a weekend. If you truly are looking for something special and not just a tryst, it will be a long-term project
Most women have pent up fantasies involving many aspects of D/s. That already says that the majority of women you meet have the desire, if not the self-esteem to actually try their fantasy. Like yourself, single women in their 40’s are very adventuresome and have lost nearly all of the sex-guilt that plagued them in their early 20’s. Women that are single in their 40’s are also usually doing some soul-searching. It is up to you to nudge them toward where they already want to go.
Being a submissive yourself, you already know what to look for. Sitting at an outdoor café’ my sub (she is a shrink which helped her sub-radar quite a bit) and I could easily pick out dozens of outwardly vanilla-people strolling by that were simply oozing the desire and had no idea what to do with it. Point them in the right direction.
You notice that this project is not something for a weekend. If this seems too time consuming and you are in a hurry, then this isn’t a serious goal and it won’t matter what you bring home for a tryst.
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Be Good 
Kurt
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lost on what to do - 
Profile
. First of all you must be clear in your mind about what you are seeking. Then state that clearly on your profile. From what you've said here it sounds like you are seeking a bi-sexual sister slave to serve a Dominant Master in a poly BDSM lifestyle home. Is this a 24/7 situation or would she be required to provide her own residence? 
) 
Vanilla isn't actually a flavor - 
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