lost on what to do (Full Version)

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untamedheart44 -> lost on what to do (5/28/2004 12:55:14 PM)

HI everyone.. I really need advise on what to do. I am slave to a wonderful master. But the problem is. I would enjoy him to have other slaves or subs. He enjoys my interest to please him. But i dont know how to introduce the idea to other slaves or subs or even how to meet the ones that are interested.. can someone tell me the best approach? and give me some idea where i can meet woman who are interested in poly ..I dont want to act like im pimping for my master because thats not the case at all.... but would enjoy other women for him. Im not bisexual but do enjoy pleasing a woman from time to time. I would appreciate any advise you can give me..Thankyou



Sinergy -> RE: lost on what to do (5/28/2004 1:50:27 PM)

One of my first submissives enjoyed bringing home others for me to play with. I enjoyed it very much, but it was not something I originally initiated. The first was somebody she met and surprised me when we were out to dinner and a woman walked in and sat down. I was soon to discover that the whole thing was planned as a birthday surprise for me since that was our "meeting for coffee." Im pretty easy-going (actually, I am extremely easy-going) and was more than happy to play along with the whole thing.

I am not sure what to suggest. On the one hand, the Dominant is the one in charge and whether new play partners are introduced would be up to this individual. On the other hand, I really enjoy surprises.

Have you and your Dominant discussed the possibility of this? I would think that open communication between you and your Dom/me would be the best approach to take.

Sinergy



proudsub -> RE: lost on what to do (5/28/2004 4:18:09 PM)

quote:

I would appreciate any advise you can give me..Thankyou


You could approach it by saying you have a gift you would like to give him but you need to dicsuss it with him first, is he interested?



untamedheart44 -> RE: lost on what to do (5/28/2004 8:52:47 PM)

HI everyone.. First.. I want to thankyou for replying to my dilemia.. BUT its NOT HIM I need help approaching.. ITS SUB SLAVES and how do I ask THEM to help me please him.. WITHOUT me looking foolish or doing it because he asked me to. This is something I want to do for him because he enjoys the company of more than one slave. I am soo sorry for all of you taking the time to help me and i worded the request for help in a bad way.. Im just trying to feel more comfortable in HOW to ask or even FIND SUB/ SLAVEs to be with my Master.. or find a Sister slave for the home.. I hope this clears a few things .. THANKYOU ALL soo much for your attention and concern..



GoddessMarissa -> RE: lost on what to do (5/28/2004 9:39:19 PM)

I would suggest finding some BDSM groups in your area, go to a munch, and posting on your profile as to what you are looking for. Sometimes you just gotta put yourself out there. In a vanilla world it seems to be alot more difficult, but when you surround yourself around people with the same interests it might be eaiser.



Sinergy -> RE: lost on what to do (5/29/2004 1:18:50 AM)

Hello,

I suspect the best approach (as was mentioned by others) is to put yourself out there and do the same thing you do when you are trying to make connections for yourself.

Be honest, perhaps direct, and you will eventually encounter somebody it will all click with.

Some people are better than others at this; my first submissive seemed capable of bringing play partners and submissives home in herds. Took some explaining to convince her that while an occaisional surprise was nice, I was not interested in playing the field on a regular basis.

Sinergy



rain -> RE: lost on what to do (5/29/2004 6:13:30 AM)

untamedheart: i noticed that you don't have a profile listed, and there are two places to create one: on the message board side and the "personal ad" side.

i don't know where you're located, but i found a couple that will play with others, but are sexually monogamous, and i'm negoiating a play & service situation with them now.

you also mentioned your interest in poly...is your partner interested as well? my understanding, and i may be wrong, is that poly relationships are long term, and not just play partners.

If you are in fact looking for a poly relationship, you may also try looking for poly specific groups in your neighborhood- may be difficult in small towns, but if you're in a big city it may be easier.

Good luck!

~rain~



MistressDREAD -> RE: lost on what to do (5/29/2004 1:15:01 PM)

untamedheart44
FYI
bisexual does not only mean to have the sex
of both male and female but also means to
relate to persons of either sex sexually hence
if you enjoy a man and also a woman
quote:

but do enjoy pleasing a woman from time to time
.
you are bisexual. The time frame nor the
amount of times you do such is of no
differance.



LadyBeckett -> RE: lost on what to do (5/30/2004 8:15:31 AM)

Hello untamedheart, and welcome to the message boards [:)]. First of all you must be clear in your mind about what you are seeking. Then state that clearly on your profile. From what you've said here it sounds like you are seeking a bi-sexual sister slave to serve a Dominant Master in a poly BDSM lifestyle home. Is this a 24/7 situation or would she be required to provide her own residence?
Once you post your profile with this information, and begin receiving responses, you will then have to begin interviewing and accepting/rejecting potential candidates.
You can also initiate contact with members after reading their profile information, if they seem promising.
I personally don't support the use of "tags" in reference to sexuality or the personal definition thereof, however, I would think that if you "enjoy pleasing a woman from time to time" then that would pretty much cancel out whether or not you are "bisexual" as irrelevent. It is important to speak the Universal language when seeking, and "enjoy pleasing a woman from time to time" would be universally understood as "bisexual", and avoid lengthy explanations later.




January -> RE: lost on what to do (5/30/2004 9:25:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: untamedheart44

HI everyone..

<snip> give me some idea where i can meet woman who are interested in poly ..I dont want to act like im pimping for my master because thats not the case at all....


untamed,

Hi. I have seen your profile, and have some questions for you.

Your profile says: We are both Poly so maybe its possible to meet someone to add to an already good situation :)

That's about all you said about your master. I did see a list of interests: Whose interests? For example, apparently one of you is "willing to relocate". Who is willing to relocate? You? Your master? Both?

Who is your master? Who are you? Your description of yourself is inadequate. Like: What is so good about your "situation"?

Probably the best thing to do is have your master make up a profile. Then you can reference his profile in yours. Give lots of details in both profiles--and not just about your fetishes/limits. What do you each offer? What do you each want? Who are you?

Based on what I've seen so far, I have formed an opinion on who you are: You are a pimp and a troll. But just in case you're more than that... I thought I'd respond with some suggestions.

January



sub4hire -> RE: lost on what to do (6/6/2004 8:07:36 AM)

I have to speak as someone who has been approached way too many times to join another couple. Myself and my Dominant are monogamous. We make that clear to all who are around us. Yes, we actually say it at munches and parties.

Yet, from time to time we still get people approaching us to swap partners or a threesome.
So my advice is, Do not approach those who do not wish to be approached. I can't tell you how many friendships it has ruined for us. When we lay it on the line the way it is...then someone comes up to us saying, we are only in the scene to find partners to swap with. Would you like to swap?

I realize you are probably out to do nothing more than help your hormones along but be careful about how you do it. Make sure the others care to hear it.



MasterLZ -> RE: lost on what to do (6/21/2004 11:18:41 AM)

just go in there and tell everyone what you want..... The truth is the quickest and best way to get what you are looking for......

good luck in your quest.....


Zeus



iwillserveu -> RE: lost on what to do (6/22/2004 3:55:00 PM)

Ask him. (Communication, What a concept?[:D])

Did you know that two or more women is the most common of all guy fantasies? Don't surprise him, but I bet he'd be receptive.



iwillserveu -> RE: lost on what to do (6/22/2004 3:57:16 PM)

Gloria,

I mentioned that two or more women is the most common male fantasy. Your Dom may be the exception.



Voltare -> RE: lost on what to do (6/23/2004 12:43:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDREAD

untamedheart44
FYI
bisexual does not only mean to have the sex
of both male and female but also means to
relate to persons of either sex sexually hence
if you enjoy a man and also a woman
quote:

but do enjoy pleasing a woman from time to time
.
you are bisexual. The time frame nor the
amount of times you do such is of no
differance.


Bullshit. I like onions on my hamburgers from time to time, but it doesn't make me a vegetarian. If the woman doesn't want to think of herself as bisexual, for whatever reason, who are you to tell her otherwise?

January,

In fairness, the options that Collarme presents aren't exactly clear. If I wanted a slave who 'can relocate' so I check that box - it could be misconstrued to show that I, personally can relocate (which I can, but 90% likely will never do again for someone I meet online.)

Besides, even if she really was a pimp or troll, it doesn't do much good to point a finger on a message board and say so ;) There are easier and more useful fights in this world, methinks.

Stephan



January -> RE: lost on what to do (6/23/2004 7:16:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Voltare
Besides, even if she really was a pimp or troll, it doesn't do much good to point a finger on a message board and say so ;) There are easier and more useful fights in this world, methinks.


Like pointing out how wrong I am?



Sylverdawn -> RE: lost on what to do (6/23/2004 8:38:04 AM)

dang thats harsh...

sometimes a simple thank you but no thank you would suffice..

Im not bisexual.. yet I get a fair amount of offers within the community.. I have never been offended but someones interest in me.. Being approached is a sign that people think your attractive, easy to get to know and interesting. Its gotten to be a joke.. and I have never been offended by a polite inquire of interest, though on occassion I have said Im going to get a tee shirt that saying something like tuna allergy or Im with him not her.

Infact, in casual conversation with a very pretty girl one evening.. she said something that indicated she thought I was a lesbian.. *because Im so open and affectionate with other females she later told me*... I said sweetpea I dont do girls.. she looked stunned and sputters her deepest apologizes because she had just asummed I was. I could have been highly offended.. I could have been outraged HOW DARE SHE.. no I took it as a compliment and moved on...

Yes I happen to be poly and no its got very freakin little to do with hormones .. I wonder at why you would be offended..even people who swap are people too.. ( which I dont do by the way)and you get what you put out.. if you are harsh and judgemental with others so to will they be with you.



AutumnSpell -> Vanilla isn't actually a flavor (6/23/2004 12:20:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessMarissa

I would suggest finding some BDSM groups in your area, go to a munch, and posting on your profile as to what you are looking for. Sometimes you just gotta put yourself out there. In a vanilla world it seems to be alot more difficult, but when you surround yourself around people with the same interests it might be eaiser.


I have to say this is polar opposite from what I would suggest. I actually don’t think that the vanilla world exists as much as it is a cover for the dark that we don’t publicly admit too. I have heard that all flaovrs of icecream actually begin as vanilla and the other flavors are added. Such it is with the world of D/s. In 20 years of talking with good friends and even some evening acquaintances, it is an exceptionally rare event to find someone that didn’t become enraptured with a conversation involving D/s and bondage. Even a few times that a women would say for the benefit of those at the table, “Oh, that’s disgusting”, the twinkle in her eye told me that she would be thinking about it for days. Vanilla simply doesn’t exist as a distinct group separated from the D/s community. And as such, the entire world is available for you to begin your quest.

I wouldn’t expect the internet or even local groups will be a good starting point in your search. But it depends on what you are looking for. If you are looking for an experienced sub that will just come over and play, from time to time, then a local munch would perhaps work… but it is a narrow band of the community and I don’t suggest that scene. If you are looking for something more long-term, with more than fling tendencies, I suggest hitting the real world and finding a friend. This is not a project for a weekend. If you truly are looking for something special and not just a tryst, it will be a long-term project

Most women have pent up fantasies involving many aspects of D/s. That already says that the majority of women you meet have the desire, if not the self-esteem to actually try their fantasy. Like yourself, single women in their 40’s are very adventuresome and have lost nearly all of the sex-guilt that plagued them in their early 20’s. Women that are single in their 40’s are also usually doing some soul-searching. It is up to you to nudge them toward where they already want to go.

Being a submissive yourself, you already know what to look for. Sitting at an outdoor café’ my sub (she is a shrink which helped her sub-radar quite a bit) and I could easily pick out dozens of outwardly vanilla-people strolling by that were simply oozing the desire and had no idea what to do with it. Point them in the right direction.

You notice that this project is not something for a weekend. If this seems too time consuming and you are in a hurry, then this isn’t a serious goal and it won’t matter what you bring home for a tryst.

___________________________________
Be Good [;)]
Kurt



Voltare -> RE: lost on what to do (6/23/2004 1:30:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: January

quote:

ORIGINAL: Voltare
Besides, even if she really was a pimp or troll, it doesn't do much good to point a finger on a message board and say so ;) There are easier and more useful fights in this world, methinks.


Like pointing out how wrong I am?


When I say someone is wrong, I usually do it in big blinking yellow and green neon lights - kinda like what I thought about Dread's post.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDREAD

Bullshit.


Pointing out a different way to view or approach a subject isn't necessarily that the original thought was wrong. If I wanted to be right all the time, I'd surround myself with beautiful, lucious, hungry slavegirls.....

cough

Maybe there is something to this being right stuff?

Point is that it's easy to throw bullets on a message board first, and ask questions later, but not always the best way to approach this loving, happy, never quibbling place we call the 'net.

Stephan



January -> RE: lost on what to do (6/23/2004 3:03:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Voltare

Point is that it's easy to throw bullets on a message board first, and ask questions later, but not always the best way to approach this loving, happy, never quibbling place we call the 'net.



I agree. That's why I wish you had read my post to untamedheart before you made your comments. My suggestions regarding developing her profile to attract a sister were both polite and reasonable. (And ignored by her, by the way.)

In any case, I do believe sincerity or insincerity is an pertinent issue to address on the boards. A pimp and a troll petending to want advice is insincere.

January



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