RE: S&M switch - but not D/s

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RE: S&M switch - but not D/s - 7/5/2005 11:53:31 AM

wednesday

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Heh, I may be alone, but I think people who have experienced pain have a better idea of how to inflict it. If you've NEVER been on the other end of the whip, you don't know for sure what kinds of strikes induce what kinds of sensations. You only know what people tell you.

But, that's just my opinion *ducks to avoid confrontation*

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RE: S&M switch - but not D/s - 7/5/2005 12:08:26 PM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wednesday

Heh, I may be alone, but I think people who have experienced pain have a better idea of how to inflict it. If you've NEVER been on the other end of the whip, you don't know for sure what kinds of strikes induce what kinds of sensations. You only know what people tell you.

But, that's just my opinion *ducks to avoid confrontation*

People seem to be divided on this. You might be interested in a thread entitled The best Dominants are submissives first? .

- LA

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RE: S&M switch - but not D/s - 7/5/2005 2:44:18 PM

wednesday

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And again, with the save! Thanks, Lady Angelika

And after reading that thread, I stick by my statement with this qualifier: when I talk about the sensation, I don't mean to imply anyone could feel the same emotional response, necessarily. But there is a totally different tactile experience if someone strikes with, say, the side of the belt instead of the flat. I would never impose my emotions on someone else's reactions... but anyone with nerve endings can tell there is a difference in sensation

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RE: S&M switch - but not D/s - 7/5/2005 2:57:36 PM

TallDarkAndWitty

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wednesday
If you've NEVER been on the other end of the whip, you don't know for sure what kinds of strikes induce what kinds of sensations.

While I certainly agree with this statement, I don't think it has anything to do with switching. A masochist is more than just someone who gets hit with a belt...they actualy have a desire for such action.

While I never use a toy or technique on anyone unless I have felt it myself, I certainly don't consider myself a switch.

Taggard

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RE: S&M switch - but not D/s - 7/6/2005 9:45:00 PM

wednesday

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quote:

While I certainly agree with this statement, I don't think it has anything to do with switching

Neither do I. What I do think it has something to do with is whether or not I trust the Dom holding the weapon in question. Which was what I was referring to when I made the statement.

My point was that it's not about whether or not they enjoy it, it's about knowing the difference in sensation. Period. I firmly believe the uneducated cannot teach, you know? I don't mean to be cold or unkind, I just wanted to clarify.

*edited to not be rude ;)

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RE: S&M switch - but not D/s - 7/9/2005 10:48:25 AM

Grlwithboy

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I relate to what the OP says here. I'm dominant. I'm also a complete whore for restrictive bondage-for-the-sake-of-bondage scenes and certain kinds of impact play as a bottom. I like to be pierced temporariliy. I've learned how to be a bootblack. There are a lot of bottom experiences and even service experiences that I've enjoyed and I've tried a lot of things because ...

I'm curious. I've always been curious. How can someone NOT want to find out what it's like to be suspended in rope, flying a few feet off the ground, given the chance? Mystifies me. :)

I've never been the person to not try the weird thing on the plate in front of them. I certainly don't like everything, but I have learned, have I ever, from having tried things out.

I don't feel a need to revamp my fundamental preference and orientation just because I've had other experiences. Just like I think a woman can go off on a cock bender sometimes and still be a lesbian, I don't feel the need to *label* myself a switch just because I've had experiences of bottoming, service, and even submission. Submission, as a whole, does not work for me remotely as well as dominance does, nuff said.

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RE: S&M switch - but not D/s - 7/9/2005 12:11:32 PM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy
I don't feel a need to revamp my fundamental preference and orientation just because I've had other experiences.

Well said.

Oh and I just adored that expression "cock bender"!! I have a lesbian friend who is having a fling with a man at the moment. She'll love this when I call it that ;)

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RE: S&M switch - but not D/s - 7/10/2005 2:43:06 AM

strongwill

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k all this stuff is just plain cool to talk about and read oh way back at beginning i said something about switch naw let me serveOne love One i be happy

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RE: S&M switch - but not D/s - 7/10/2005 8:07:25 PM

leggyone

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I have a really good friend that is dominant, but likes to bottom. He likes the endorphins.
I am submissive, but he taught me how to top him. Took sometime to learn, practice with the floggers, whips, etc and mostly to watch his body, to know him and the reactions as when to slow down and stop if needed.
It was also good for me to learn as a submissive topping.
I can become quite evil...grins....

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RE: S&M switch - but not D/s - 7/10/2005 9:24:49 PM

pandoravampire

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excellent topic!
In life in general, you have to find a 'label' that defines you to others. I personally like to have sex with females if i like that person enough to share myself in that way, also similarly with males. My sexual preference, is simply defined by the gender of the person im with at the time.

When i first began my journey in this lifestyle. I 'enjoyed' giving pleasure to another. Whatever form i saw as giving pleasure was fine by me, not having had my limits pushed as i was playing gently. I was advised that i was definately a Domme, as my pleasure was in dishing it out. So i topped others. Great fun! Id of liked to of tried the other way round too, as i was curious. So then got labelled a switch as such. Id never played in a D/s environment however, and the Dom/mes i knew, had needs of a submissive, i certainly was crap at submitting. I needed the control to enjoy things on my terms.

The one occasion i set up to be topped, well that went wrong, and i took over. Even though we'd negotiated the other way round. Dom/mes D/s needs put me off. My internal thought would answer most demands with a 'get lost wanker' response. Until eventually, i had the fortune to meet the Dom that could seduce my submission from me in a mutually beneficial way as a play partner. Since then, i am now one of the happiest submissives, living 24/7 D/s dynamic, that i cannot turn off, even when i wish to.

This labelling shite that goes on, it really is just that for me. Sure it helps others to understand a premise of where you are coming from, but much is to be lost when you label someone. I know very few people in this lifestyle, as i do not do public. My morality has not changed just because i practice D/s. Perhaps because of my age, my upbringing/culture. I enjoy the shock factor of pushing this within the safety of my one on one relationship with a person who adores me, as i do him. But only in those circumstances.

Labels can help or hinder, personally for me? theyre a crock of shit. But each to their own.

pandoravampire

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RE: S&M switch - but not D/s - 7/11/2005 2:04:58 AM

Gemeni

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Funny you should mention this.

Bottom/service top arrangements are quite common. And it's fine to be a bottom calling all the shots-so long as the top also enjoys it.

Even in *alleged* D/s.

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RE: S&M switch - but not D/s - 7/11/2005 4:13:25 AM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

This labelling shite that goes on, it really is just that for me. Sure it helps others to understand a premise of where you are coming from, but much is to be lost when you label someone.

I concur. Which is why I really don't like them. I do realise however that they aren't going to go away so I am always trying to find ways of subverting or dealing with them.

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Post #: 72

RE: S&M switch - but not D/s - 7/12/2005 6:40:20 AM

Sireja

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I'm a Dom who has switched...but only once. I found it touched a whole different part of me. It came about by accident, I was chatting online one day with a Domme, something I typically do not do ..we were exchanging ideas and thoughts on Domming... she was quite friendly and we got to talking about switching... she shared an email with me that she typically sends to new male subs before she begins their training...I felt as if she was talking to me and knew things about men that I found rare in women. She asked me if I wanted to sub to her... I agreed and it was a three month wonderful experience...she was married, her hubby was sub to her...she was clearly a Sadist...after three months she released me as I could not take the extreme punishment she enjoyed. She took me through the whole experience...servitude, forced genital shaving/marking, orgasm control, feminization, sensory manipulation, humiliation, bondage, golden...

It was a thrilling experience...one in which I learned even more about Domination...and about the submissive emotions...I've heard others say it but it made me a better Dom...and I gained a wonderful insight from this Domme who had both male and female subs..

I've been curious about doing it again someday...but have never found someone to Trust as I did her or who compelled me to serve.

I've often wondered if two switches could ever play together over the longer term. I've wondered if they wouldn't evlove to one role or the other...would vengence develop animosity...would the desire to Control or need to submit prevent this from working... I'd be curious if any couple ever regularly switches within the relationship?? Would one really be Topping from the bottom or vice versa?

Very interesting !

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RE: S&M switch - but not D/s - 7/12/2005 6:23:08 PM

LadyAngelika

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That is an interesting story Sireja, and it might be a good subject for a new thread, but I don't see how it has anything to do with the subject of this thread. You are talking about switching in a D/s context. I was talking about switching without D/s.

- LA

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