RE: What is your biggest frustration....

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RE: What is your biggest frustration.... - 4/7/2005 9:00:39 AM

ARoseAndAnEye

Posts: 67
Joined: 12/8/2004
Status: offline

People who dissect words and statements made by others as absolutes.

Once in awhile i find it a refreshing catharsis to just barf something up on my screen and not worry about all the fucking semantics.

~ anna

(in reply to stormsfate)

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Post #: 21

RE: What is your biggest frustration.... - 4/22/2005 7:13:56 AM

PAcpllooking

Posts: 3
Joined: 5/14/2004
Status: offline

My BIGGEST frustration is the fact that most you talk to dont have a glue and act like they do becasue they read a book and a website.
Going to a munch, just hanging out online, interacting with a group and playing on the weekends doesnt make you an expert on living the lifestyle 24/7.2nd biggest frustration, velcro collars and multiple level of collars.
Seems like the collar has become jewelry more then what it really is, or at lest should be which is a real solid commitment.

William

(in reply to stormsfate)

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Post #: 22

RE: What is your biggest frustration.... - 4/22/2005 6:07:35 PM

stormsfate

Posts: 846
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PAcpllooking

biggest frustration, velcro collars and multiple level of collars.
Seems like the collar has become jewelry more then what it really is, or at lest should be which is a real solid commitment.

William

I'm curious about why you are frustrated with multiple levels of collars. I know it isn't a common practice, but it has come into play in our dynamic and seems to fit the bill nicely, at least at this point.

When I was formally collared, it was just that. No collar of consideration, etc. However, my owner has not reached a point where he chooses to *own* anyone else. As such, he decided to use the multiple collar levels for anyone coming into the relationship. I am not sure how happy he is with it in practice, but it does seem to serve a purpose to some extent. Gives time to see if they are the right fit for this family, etc.

At any rate...I have mixed feelings on it, but also see a place for it. Am interested in discussion on this...both pro and con.

best regards,
fate

_____________________________

Storm1206 - Author of my dark desires...Owner of my soul.

stormsvision - chainsister and partner in crime.

(in reply to PAcpllooking)

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Post #: 23

RE: What is your biggest frustration.... - 4/24/2005 2:29:17 AM

Emmmrld

Posts: 55
Joined: 4/21/2005
From: Las Vegas, Nevada
Status: offline

Well I have a few frustrations ...

Poly vs Mono I posted there and express some frustrations on terminology and understanding of those lifestyles.

I think what most frustrates me is that even tho I say I'm mono it doesn't mean I'm not open to fantasy fullfillment which may involve other persons or that I'm not open to an open play arrangement. I guess it gets down to my libido - I don't understand why a man needs to be off with another woman if he can't keep me "satisfied". I have yet to have a man keep up with my libido sexually. Take care of home first and then we'll talk.

My other BIGG frustration is with the word submissive. This word does not mean any of the following: uncapable of having a professional career, uncapable of owning a business, inability to handle personal responsibiliites, doesn't have any priorities or responsibilities, doormat, no self respect, prey, wanting to be abused (in the bad sense), shouldn't have opinions, lack intelligence, uncapbable of making any type of decision, an ornament to be seen / not heard, etc.

I choose to be a submissive woman. I serve ONE not the world. What is so hard to understand about that?

~Emerald

(in reply to stormsfate)

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Post #: 24

RE: What is your biggest frustration.... - 5/4/2005 11:02:46 PM

dsamethyst

Posts: 33
Joined: 9/20/2004
Status: offline

One of my biggest frustrations had been in my last relationship was that everyone assumed that my submissive was my Dominant...Im a switch and just becasue i stand in at under 5 ft tall and the fella looks like a beast doesnt make him a dominant!!!!

_____________________________

people will forget what you said
they will forgive what you did
but they will never forget the way you made them feel

(in reply to stormsfate)

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Post #: 25

RE: What is your biggest frustration.... - 5/8/2005 6:46:00 AM

ScooterTrash

Posts: 267
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline

Biggest frustrations huh? I'll hit my top 3.

.

As far as in general...it's frustrating that the nilla folks automatically lump us into the whips and chains category without knowing what they are talking about.

.

As for poly...the biggest frustration to me is those who judge it without knowing what all it entails...and those who tried it once and since it didn't work out, write it off as not possible.

.

Lastly..one of the biggest frustrations is from those who are on-line only and try to impart their wisdom on R/L peeps. I respect both situations but there are just some places where the two do not intertwine and should be referred to as seperate situations.

_____________________________

Scooter.....It's not the destination..it's the journey

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Post #: 26

RE: What is your biggest frustration.... - 5/10/2005 2:17:02 PM

williem333

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/13/2004
Status: offline

The truth is....not everything is ok with all others. Chose to travel your own road. To hell with what others think..

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RE: What is your biggest frustration.... - 5/10/2005 2:22:58 PM

williem333

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/13/2004
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Good for you!!! Exellent....someone is using their mind.

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Post #: 28

RE: What is your biggest frustration.... - 5/10/2005 2:26:25 PM

williem333

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/13/2004
Status: offline

Dont worry about it... People will judge you no matter what..stay true to yourself.

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RE: What is your biggest frustration.... - 5/10/2005 4:05:23 PM

timorous

Posts: 18
Joined: 4/7/2005
Status: offline

My biggest frustration is that I'm am experienced slave and out there looking for a new Master and 99% of the ones I talk to are inexperienced. The are easy to spot because they always concentrate on what the fantasy of owning a slave would bring rather than the reality. They are so one dimensional it has me tearing my hair out.

Honestly..... I get mail everyday and it is hard not to let my exasperation show.

I'm a damn fine slave...... but I'm not inclined to train my own Master. I mean, I know it takes time to learn about each other and about what will bring out the best in us both..... but even knowing that seems to put me miles ahead in the race.

*sigh*

(in reply to williem333)

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Post #: 30

RE: What is your biggest frustration.... - 5/21/2005 2:49:03 PM

TheSecondRebel

Posts: 6
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

One of my biggest frustrations are those who think that their way is the only way, and that if you are not following their way, even if it does not effect them. Absolutism in any context bugs the crap out of me. No one way is perfectly right or wrong.

(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)

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RE: What is your biggest frustration.... - 5/22/2005 2:50:14 PM

dirtytoy4use

Posts: 2
Joined: 5/10/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: timorous

My biggest frustration is that I'm am experienced slave and out there looking for a new Master and 99% of the ones I talk to are inexperienced. The are easy to spot because they always concentrate on what the fantasy of owning a slave would bring rather than the reality. They are so one dimensional it has me tearing my hair out.

Honestly..... I get mail everyday and it is hard not to let my exasperation show.

I'm a damn fine slave...... but I'm not inclined to train my own Master. I mean, I know it takes time to learn about each other and about what will bring out the best in us both..... but even knowing that seems to put me miles ahead in the race.

*sigh*

OMFG...im so there with You, it almost feels like topping from below...then what's the point!!!!

(in reply to timorous)

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Post #: 32

RE: What is your biggest frustration.... - 5/26/2005 5:19:36 PM

TearMakerMan1

Posts: 1
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I would have to say my biggest frustration is people that lump poly and swinging into one big group. Our little clan is all about loving and respecting each other, their needs, wants, desires and dreams. When one is ill, the others take care of that person, when one has reached an important goal, we all celebrate with and for that person. We don't jump into the sack with just anyone else, we don't go to "play parties" and scene with just anyone willing to scene. We have a very close relationship and it's a closed relationship. It's about so much more then sex and seeking pleasure, the only difference between our poly family and other peoples monogamous family is that there are more people involved. Nothing at all like swinging and I get sooo tired of having to explain that!

Jewel

I have to say I agree with this statement. I was always told by my parents that what someone else thought wasn't as important as me thinking for myself. We have a family of 3 and we all get along very well, and we are a poly family. Now we do play at parties but not always within our family. I may be Master but I always consider the feelings of my girls. (Meaning I don't play with anyone that they don't feel comfortable with just as i have to feel comfortable with someone else playing with them) Family= Two way street. Just My opionion.

(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)

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Post #: 33

RE: What is your biggest frustration.... - 5/27/2005 1:52:31 AM

ladyslave

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/29/2004
Status: offline

What frustrates me is my inability to get past the feelings l have at the thought of my M having another, although he reassures me that l would never be replaced l just can't get past that jealous feeling nor of the feeling that why arn't l enough l do everything to please him and he is never refused anything, and although in my fantasies l would love to play with another l just can't get past how l feel how do others cope.
xxxxx

(in reply to stormsfate)

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Post #: 34

RE: What is your biggest frustration.... - 6/4/2005 10:31:09 PM

synrgy33

Posts: 50
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domtimothy46176

On the flip side, ever notice the influx of new subs who seem to think all they need to be willing to do is spread their legs and *presto* the Twue Dominates will fall over themselves offering lifetime monogamous contracts. I know a girl with next to no domestic skills (and no interest in developing them) and no income who really thinks she should be able to sit prettily at a dominant's feet all day and be petted. Truthfully, I don't know which group I feel sorrier for.
Timothy

To me, as a submissive that would be very frustrating. I enjoy that I get to work outside of the house. For households where the submissive gets to stay home, I'm sure she's not sitting on her butt getting petted *grins*... If I were allowed to stay home, the house my Dominant and I shared would be SPOTLESS! Okay I get to stay home some now and it's not spotless, lol butttttt I try!!!!! hehehehe

syn~SD~

To the world, you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world

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RE: What is your biggest frustration.... - 6/4/2005 11:03:16 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 2294
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

YEAH ME TO I DONT UNDERSATND WHY PEOPLE FEEL THEY HAVE TO THINK BEFORE THEY SAY NAYTHING.

OH AND BY BIGGEST FURSTATION IS THAT I DONT GET AS MANY BITCHS AS ID LIKE.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ARoseAndAnEye

People who dissect words and statements made by others as absolutes.

Once in awhile i find it a refreshing catharsis to just barf something up on my screen and not worry about all the fucking semantics.

(in reply to ARoseAndAnEye)

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Post #: 36

RE: What is your biggest frustration.... - 6/5/2005 1:39:57 AM

Raphael

Posts: 213
Joined: 5/10/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dsamethyst

One of my biggest frustrations had been in my last relationship was that everyone assumed that my submissive was my Dominant...Im a switch and just becasue i stand in at under 5 ft tall and the fella looks like a beast doesnt make him a dominant!!!!

No, indeed it does not. However, instead of letting that be a frustration, view it as an edge - have fun messing with their minds. Expect them to assume, and instead of getting mad about it - train him to front! Use that edge...

It's really all in how you set your mind.

(in reply to dsamethyst)

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Post #: 37

RE: What is your biggest frustration.... - 6/5/2005 10:21:56 AM

sojourner597

Posts: 8
Joined: 4/23/2005
Status: offline

I could care less what any others may think..wouldn't be in the lifestyle if I succumbed to others "opinions".

My only gripe...complaint is the posturing of M/many who claim an open and honest dialogue is what is needed. How many of U/us have responded to a profile only to be ignored or told Y/you are not what is being looked for...without ever being talked or chatted with?

If the O/one Y/you seek isn't being presented like a Coke commercial....appealing to all and offensive to none...there is a slim chance a connection will be made. Throw in poly....and your chances become even smaller.

I will end this lil rant by saying all those who responded....I read your words and admire you all.

Sojourner

"To build a community, one must share with and support all those who would do the same for you"

(in reply to Raphael)

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Post #: 38

RE: What is your biggest frustration.... - 6/5/2005 11:57:16 PM

shay

Posts: 61
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline

my biggest frustration is people who think just because i dont have an Owner (yet) that i am some sort of threat because i feel affection for a Dominant, submissive or couple.

Just because i might feel a desire to "bottom" to One does NOT mean i want His or Her collar!! Just because i would like to feel His or Her touch does not mean i want to interfere with Their relationship. Just because They have something great does NOT mean i want to barge in, be a part of permanently or am any kind of threat.

Sometimes temporary DOES mean temporary. Not all scenes lead to relationships!! And THAT is my biggest frustration today!

hugs~
shay

(in reply to sojourner597)

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Post #: 39

RE: What is your biggest frustration.... - 6/6/2005 10:40:19 AM

Lepidoptera

Posts: 161
Joined: 4/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveanwyl

my biggest frustration is this ..

someone wrote on my web page

slave your Master is a psychopath get away from him now!!

i was so mad how dare T/they say this about such a sweet and caring man as my owner

LG is lovely he may be strict and he may be a Master but that is what i sought and that is what i found and that is what i needed. and i am perfectly safe in his hands ..

i do not think one should judge a book by its cover.. it took me months to get to know my Master and it has taken others the same amount of time there are lots of subs who want to serve him but Master is picky..as am i...

Oh, I hate that. The world thinks they're horrible people when they are the sweetest, most loving people you've ever met, and they treat you better than in any other relationship you've been... and you're happier in the relationship than you've ever been...

and some how that's wrong?
and some how they're terrible people?

(in reply to slaveanwyl)

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Post #: 40