What is your biggest frustration.... (Full Version)

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stormsfate -> What is your biggest frustration.... (3/24/2005 4:35:31 PM)

in how others view your chosen lifestyle...whether it be bdsm or polyamory? Now normally I'm not one to much care how people view me. I am open to other's perspectives, try not to judge other's choices, don't believe in "one true wayisms" and don't try to tell others how they should live. I give my opinions freely, listen to other's opinions and even sometimes change my viewpoints on things. I generally sleep very well at night :)

BUT...I have to confess...

My biggest frustration is when others judge my owner without knowing him and assume certain facts about him because of our chosen path.

What's yours?



best regards,
f



domtimothy46176 -> RE: What is your biggest frustration.... (3/24/2005 6:38:48 PM)

I don't generally let the personal foibles of others rock my boat. people are going to do and be whatever they wish, so why sweat what doesn't have the power to impact me, right? Having said that, however, sometimes it sets my teeth on edge when I see foks that claim "I don't like this, that or the othe other" when, in fact they've never tried it and have no perspective upon which to base the statement. For some it may just be semantics, but to me it's intellectual laziness. Saying "I have no interest in that so I've never explored it" or "It holds no attraction to me" would be so much more honest.
You see it with people referring to both poly lifestyles and BDSM activities and dynamics and I just don't get it. If it holds no interest for someone, fine, don't try it but stopp saying you don't like what you haven't tried, lol. For what it's worth it, bugged the daylights out of me when my kids said they didn't like a new food I was introducing to them, too.
OK, that consitutes my rant for today. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.
Timothy



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: What is your biggest frustration.... (3/24/2005 8:17:45 PM)

People who confuse submissive personality with submissive orientation.

People who think you're either into protocol or you're a wannabe player.

People who look down on younger players.

But what I find personally most frustrating in my life is the lack of time. There's just only so much time I have to spend with people and only so much time they have to spend with me. There's always so much more to do together.



michellewarner -> RE: What is your biggest frustration.... (3/24/2005 10:46:25 PM)

when someone tells me that it's just a phase i'm going through



BigBeninLA -> RE: What is your biggest frustration.... (3/24/2005 11:38:50 PM)

My biggest frustration is that I can't even find ONE sub, much less TWO! <grin>



SweetDommes -> RE: What is your biggest frustration.... (3/24/2005 11:42:20 PM)

That people assume just because we are poly that we will be ok with them cheating on their spouses (and I mean cheating - behind the back, the partner is totally unaware ... not consensual, both parties know what is going on, open relationships).



lovingmaster45 -> RE: What is your biggest frustration.... (3/25/2005 3:20:42 AM)

My biggest frustration is not having enough money to build up on the house so more can live here.



ShiftedJewel -> RE: What is your biggest frustration.... (3/25/2005 7:14:50 AM)

I would have to say my biggest frustration is people that lump poly and swinging into one big group. Our little clan is all about loving and respecting each other, their needs, wants, desires and dreams. When one is ill, the others take care of that person, when one has reached an important goal, we all celebrate with and for that person. We don't jump into the sack with just anyone else, we don't go to "play parties" and scene with just anyone willing to scene. We have a very close relationship and it's a closed relationship. It's about so much more then sex and seeking pleasure, the only difference between our poly family and other peoples monogamous family is that there are more people involved. Nothing at all like swinging and I get sooo tired of having to explain that!

Jewel



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: What is your biggest frustration.... (3/25/2005 7:44:27 AM)

I agree that swinging and poly are totally different subcultures.

But there is lots of cross-over. And one doesn't need to be a swinger in order to be a slut.

I WILL jump in the sack with about anyone, I WILL go to play parties and scene casually, my relationship is NOT a closed one.

I'm not a swinger myself, but I've gone to and enjoyed swinger parties.

Sure poly is about intimacy and forming multiple relationships just like monogamy.

But *I* get frustrated and people who put down sluts and sex as somehow "not as pure and deep" as the life stuff. Sex is very important to me, it's who I am and how I express myself with others. I'm an absolute slut and love it. You can have that AND have the deep loving intimacy.



terah -> RE: What is your biggest frustration.... (3/25/2005 12:05:22 PM)

My biggest frustration and peeve are some men thinking that because you're in a poly that you would FK anyone.



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: What is your biggest frustration.... (3/25/2005 1:12:13 PM)

For those men I dont think poly has anything to do with it...some guys just DONT GET that all women arent panting to be with them.



domtimothy46176 -> RE: What is your biggest frustration.... (3/26/2005 1:01:15 PM)

On the flip side, ever notice the influx of new subs who seem to think all they need to be willing to do is spread their legs and *presto* the Twue Dominates will fall over themselves offering lifetime monogamous contracts. I know a girl with next to no domestic skills (and no interest in developing them) and no income who really thinks she should be able to sit prettily at a dominant's feet all day and be petted. Truthfully, I don't know which group I feel sorrier for.
Timothy



RiotGirl -> RE: What is your biggest frustration.... (3/28/2005 9:37:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

I would have to say my biggest frustration is people that lump poly and swinging into one big group. Our little clan is all about loving and respecting each other, their needs, wants, desires and dreams. When one is ill, the others take care of that person, when one has reached an important goal, we all celebrate with and for that person. We don't jump into the sack with just anyone else, we don't go to "play parties" and scene with just anyone willing to scene. We have a very close relationship and it's a closed relationship. It's about so much more then sex and seeking pleasure, the only difference between our poly family and other peoples monogamous family is that there are more people involved. Nothing at all like swinging and I get sooo tired of having to explain that!

Jewel


i completely agree with this. i dont understand how so many get it confused as there is a dictionary for defintions.



LittleMissSub -> RE: What is your biggest frustration.... (3/29/2005 10:18:32 AM)

my biggest frustration with it is when you tell a man you're open to a poly relationship and he takes that to mean he can sleep with whomever he pleases without telling me...

hahaha although sometimes it's REALLY fun to sit and talk with a square vanilla guy and try to explain it to him, you see this crack appear in the box he's perfectly built his life into, and then as the conversation continues that box shatters and then comes the true test - do they blink a few times at the bright world around the box and accept it and perhaps - embrace it?!?! - or do they politely say "thanks for the evening, im getting tired, lets go" and conclude the evening to run home and repair the box.



Padriag -> RE: What is your biggest frustration.... (4/4/2005 12:31:53 AM)

My biggest frustration has been the lack of really good information and discussion about poly, without all the negative attitudes so many have about it. Hopefully this forum will resolve that. [;)]



slaveanwyl -> RE: What is your biggest frustration.... (4/7/2005 12:39:25 AM)

my biggest frustration is this ..

someone wrote on my web page

slave your Master is a psychopath get away from him now!!

i was so mad how dare T/they say this about such a sweet and caring man as my owner

LG is lovely he may be strict and he may be a Master but that is what i sought and that is what i found and that is what i needed. and i am perfectly safe in his hands ..

i do not think one should judge a book by its cover.. it took me months to get to know my Master and it has taken others the same amount of time there are lots of subs who want to serve him but Master is picky..as am i...




EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: What is your biggest frustration.... (4/7/2005 6:24:52 AM)

Anwyl, I'm sorry you got so upset but this isn't something to be concerned about. If you let people post in a public forum, they will do so and unless you moderate it, they can and will say anything they want.

You can't expect others to have the same judgements as you, or even to make very educated judgements. Once you let go of that expectation, you will be much happier and lighter.



ruffnecksbabygir -> RE: What is your biggest frustration.... (4/7/2005 7:54:40 AM)

my biggest frustrating is having to hide or be discrete about my submission to Master. Having to hide my slave tattoo so that my family doesn't freak out, cover up my "Property of... tat" so they don't have a heart attack, being given constant unwanted advice by others (vanilla friends and family) telling me to stand up for myself a lil more, or things of that nature because they of course don't understand the dynamics of our relationship and i don't explain it because i just know they would and just could never understand... ( i know my peeps) Sometimes i just get so frustrated because Master expects me to behave a certain way no matter who is infront, and yet i realize how bazaar it may appear to my family, who don't have a clue yet are starting to catch on and worry....ugh, it's not always easy.



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: What is your biggest frustration.... (4/7/2005 8:03:51 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ruffnecksbabygir
who don't have a clue yet are starting to catch on and worry....ugh, it's not always easy.


I have learned to always take a day off after any big convention to give myself time to "reacquaint" with not being able to be so out. I want to just shout to people "I'm here, I'm real, I like to be owned, what's the big deal?"

I feel your pain.



ruffnecksbabygir -> RE: What is your biggest frustration.... (4/7/2005 8:12:05 AM)

yep... this is my first real Master/slave relationship...i mean, i have known about the lifestyle for like 5 yrs, i had a r/l relationship but no where as deep in every level as far as M/s, devotion, etc... so now i have been experiencing all kinds of new things, i have been changing drastically, have bracelet (steel cuff like locked/welded) on my wrists/ankels, tattoos, i have been experiencing munch's, meeting others of the lifestyle in r/l vs. online....it's been so exciting for me, but at the same time very frustrating specially with my family who just worry about me constantly, thinking i may be abused or what have you....my mom was in an abusive relatinship for years (my dad) and so was my sister (her ex) so they are always on the defensive when it comes to dominant/controlling men.....anyhow, i have rambled on too much lol, lost track of the OP's topic lol....oh yeah, it's very frustrating! [:@]



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