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RE: Why go poly?


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RE: Why go poly? - 4/16/2005 9:27:45 PM   
angelicalistical


Posts: 9
Joined: 8/23/2004
Status: offline 		i honestly never thought it would be for me, and turned my nose at the idea for quite a long while, until very recently when i realized i wanted and needed for two very seperate things that i would feel uncomfortable with giving and recieving from only one partner.

another limit softened...and i'm all the more happier for it *s*

(in reply to ScooterTrash)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Why go poly? - 4/17/2005 2:25:24 PM   
ansfrid


Posts: 24
Joined: 3/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel
I'm not sure here if you were just replying in general or specifically to me... I think I just said the same thing though... No I don't set it at a higher ideal and no I don't consider it a more perfect model, I consider it right for me and mine....


Not, not you specifically. It was not a rebuttal to anyone's response, just an expression of aggravation to thos people out in the world that feel like poly is the evolved ideal that everyone should strive for. I love it, I support it, but I don't like seeing anyone pressured into it.

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Why go poly? - 4/18/2005 11:45:06 AM   
slaveanwyl


Posts: 36
Joined: 4/1/2005
Status: offline 		emerald slave

i was never intending to become a poly slave but i met Master and i hesitated because he already had a slave i dragged my feet for 8 whole months went with other Doms but was withut intending to treating this poly Dom as my Master because i was trusting him with everything about me and would go to him with problems so i ended up saying yes , at first i felt strange because she couod do evertthing for Master so perfectly and i struggled.. but i loved my sister because she started to help me and would teach me how to please Master and what was expected of me and we became very close indeed now she has gone to do other things and i am alone with Master it feels very odd i really miss her and i miss the playtimes W/we had together W/we still see her and she comes home often but she is not here..

Master has said he wants another slave to assist me now bex has become sort of part time slave rather than full time.. but because Master is allowing me to speak to the girls some say i am not a real slave and this gets to me i serve my Master 24/7 and our family is TPE the fact W/we desire a peg that fits in not one that cannot seems to some that i as his slave should not have any input at all ...

how do you feel about that being as you are poly yourself did your Master allow any input from you at all on your sisters or were they already there

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Why go poly? - 4/18/2005 11:55:09 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3610
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveanwyl
how do you feel about that being as you are poly yourself did your Master allow any input from you at all on your sisters or were they already there


Well first off, you need to learn that everyone has a different idea of what a slave is and most of them will be different, to some extent or another, from yours. We've all been told we aren't "real" and it doesn't really matter because we aren't suddenly going to melt away because of it.

Secondly, while the Owner ALLOWS input from me on just about everything I care to give input on, it has no bearing at all on who he decides to get involved with or not. I was the new kid on the block when we first got together but he has become involved with others since then.

But to be clear, we aren't "sisters" with eachother. Our "family" is a very extended one. The Owner only lives with his primary, I have a relationship with someone I've been dating regularly since the fall that he has met only twice. We each form a very unique bond with the other person and no one is expected to form any specific bond with anyone else. We know who is priority to who and that is what matters.

For example, my Boston partner is the husband of the Owners Boston sub. However, how they deal in their relationship has nothing to do with how I deal with him or her. It is their own separate relationship. Also, my boyfriend has no expectation to submit or dominate anyone else that the Owner is involved with (though it is a big perk to get involved with a family that has so many talents and play styles, ready made play dates!).

If you are living together especially, it makes sense to make sure everyone is happy and on the same page about things. While slaves don't have to like the situation, they do have to be understanding and honest about it. The Owner can bring as many or as few people in as he likes, and from his personality I know he cares about my perspective on them, it certainly won't stop him and if I presumed to limit something he did, it would be VERY bad for me.

(in reply to slaveanwyl)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Why go poly? - 4/18/2005 8:28:25 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 1466
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		I don't like to share. I'm to gready with my sub and I like those qualities in her. but whatever floats the boat is what works best for varous couples.

My favorite poly couples are thoughs who are both Dom who tag team subs.



_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Why go poly? - 4/28/2005 12:23:09 PM   
slavedesires


Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexysubbunny

i tried poly for 5months with a wonderful Master, became collared and expereinced some very beautiful things with him.! but from the very beginning there were extreme issues extending from his alpha with jealousy and constant competition to win him over! I walked away from a very tough and hurtful situation, i lost someone i cared very deeply for, but the whole situation became unbearable due to her insecurities! i learned a lesson and learned a great deal in that 5 months! If considering a 3 way poly, consider the hurtful consequences very hard! its going to take this bunny quite sometime to get over this wonderful loving Master that i became so close to! i certainly do miss him! and know that he misses me terribly too!
Life holds many un-expected changes and challenges, and the good lord just may bring US back to each other again in the future! i can only pray!
but for now life goes on and bunny learns to become even stronger and feeling more dignity from having had this experience!
She loved her Master very devotedly!

chalk up one to experience!!
Just glad i was strong enough to walk away...


just my thoughts.... i never come to this board but i did today....

i have been approched by some really awesome Doms/Masters who are looking for a beta sub/slave.

i am NOT apposed to trying it, BUT if so, i need and want to know that the alpha and i are friends, companions, sissy's first and foremost.
Therefore, i would much rather be approached by the alpha than the Master in such a situation.

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

(in reply to sexysubbunny)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Why go poly? - 4/28/2005 12:56:28 PM   
arwenbabysub


Posts: 39
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		I don't belong to a "family". I belong to a group of close friends(5 of us).
My Master and i are part of a 3 some with one of the women. There is no pressure to perform as we're friends first and foremost. This 3some has been going on for over a year now and has been very successful indeed. We play together at clubs,in private or parties. We see each of the group a few times a year for holidays or long weekends or as often as we can.

There is however a new member of our group and that is my Pony Mistress. Master, Mistress and myself are at the early stages of another 3 some which just keeps blossoming.
Master and i are totally devoted to each other. I'm not an alpha, nor am i part of a pecking order. We're friends who are open, who love each other, enjoy the intimacy of each other and most of all we're honest with our intentions. We have no desire to ruin this group we're part of, as it's taken a few years to get where we are. We're in no rush, we sit back and go with the flow.But Most of all we all have fun.

arwen xx


(in reply to angelicalistical)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Why go poly? - 4/28/2005 1:01:59 PM   
slavedesires


Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: arwenbabysub

I don't belong to a "family". I belong to a group of close friends(5 of us).
arwen xx




is this really considered poly then?

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

(in reply to arwenbabysub)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Why go poly? - 4/28/2005 1:17:14 PM   
arwenbabysub


Posts: 39
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Poly for you Poly for me.
Every Poly relationship is different. We are committed to each other and it's something IMHO that you can't just jump into feet first. It needs to be nurtured like anything else.

just my thoughts

arwen xxx

(in reply to slavedesires)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Why go poly? - 4/28/2005 1:29:06 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3610
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Poly just means multiple people in an intimate relationship together at the same time (generally).

Most poly people are not bdsm or Ds at all, they are vanilla.

Poly/Ds is a smaller subset of both the Ds world and the poly world.

(in reply to arwenbabysub)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Why go poly? - 4/28/2005 2:46:40 PM   
candigirlll


Posts: 32
Joined: 4/22/2005
Status: offline 		[b i grew up in a poly house hold... and i am realy alttle taken back buy this thread... because... i grew up with three moms... and my father all in one house hold... my three moms loved each other as well as loved my father... we were as one unit.. i mean some act as if being poly means the dom can fuck whom ever her wants when he wants... that is so farm from what it is all about it is a lovin group of people living as one loving family unit...i did not have different people coming in and out of my house... same parents my whole life... and the one who says the other girls are not your sisters and he lives at a different location... not trying to knock... but that sounds more like a vanilla man fucking who ever he wants...with a Dominant personailty or kink...most poly people that i know and that live as such RT... do not go out side the relationship for sex or playing... that is very risky behavior .... and your NOT a family if you and the other girls do not have a relationship.....*shrugs* anyway.. that is my two cents.... hope i did not offend....

(in reply to angelicalistical)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Why go poly? - 4/29/2005 7:11:02 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3610
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candigirlll
but that sounds more like a vanilla man fucking who ever he wants...with a Dominant personailty or kink...

And there's nothing wrong with being both a slut AND poly. I'm a committed slave, girlfriend and lover, but I still fuck whoever I want generally.

quote:


most poly people that i know and that live as such RT... do not go out side the relationship for sex or playing...

That's true, most poly relationships are closed fidelity types.

quote:

and your NOT a family if you and the other girls do not have a relationship.....*shrugs* anyway.. that is my two cents.... hope i did not offend....

I consider my "family" to be one, even though we each have very different relationships with eachother (everything from acquaintances to best friends to lovers to occasional playmates).

While a triad might not be a "family" if the two subs live in separate states and have no connection with eachother...a "family" need not be a nuclear all live and love together type either.

(in reply to candigirlll)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Why go poly? - 6/15/2005 10:50:04 PM   
asissyforher


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: iowa now..maybe move soon.
Status: offline 		timorous
Everyone needs to be on the same page.
-----------
the problem here, is, "I" see, as i have witnessed far far to often a couple of people go in another room, and whisper and/or be sure they get you out of ear reach and when you come back, they come back in..whatever.....their lil talk is over and you KNOW by the tension in the air and their body language and they ARE talking behind your back......so "I" have NEVER seen ANY d/s on-the-same=page YET! there is always someone doing what THEY wanna do and you get it in the back end over it.......
so i myself have never learned trust in anyone yet because of this 2 faced b.s.------
poly or otherwise,,,,,,,no one i have met personally believes in same=page.

a slave


_____________________________

"still looking for a real life domme..no more plastic wannabes for me"

(in reply to ScooterTrash)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Why go poly? - 7/14/2005 6:36:36 PM   
Slutsub


Posts: 31
Joined: 12/8/2004
From: my knees
Status: offline 		ok....have i lost the plot?...as far as im concerned (and please someone correct me if im wrong).....but........a slave is a slave to her Master...rite? and she is to be His and His alone correct?....but.....a Master or D can have many subbies and slaves. i just dont get the poly slave..........a poly D or Master yes. i just dont understand how a slave can have more than one Master.........oh god im confused........help me.

_____________________________

slut sub........x

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Why go poly? - 7/21/2005 8:38:05 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 371
Joined: 7/1/2005
Status: offline 		When Master and I were going through the negotiations for receiving his collar. I put in a stipulation.

That clause is: We are a monogamous couple. If or when a poly relationship happens, it will be when I feel I'm ready for it. I have the right to veto play partners or permanent thirds to our relationship. He obviously has the right of veto as well. I have to tell ya, I'm surprised at how many people never discuss any of this before getting into a committed relationship.

I did this for a reason. I needed to feel absolutely secure in my relationship with him, before I could have someone else in it. I think this is the prime reason why poly has so many problems. One of the subs feels insecure in his or her position and it ends up being petty.


We've also instituted a number of rules for our poly relationships. The first is no whispering. It leads to feelings of exclusion. The second is that all jealousies get discussed.

Example: We had a new Beta. We'd had a big long scene during the day that included 3 climaxes for him. (he should have been exhausted) He woke up in the middle of the night horny. He fucked her instead of me. I was jealous and felt he had shown preference. When I discussed it with him, he had chosen her because I had been sick and wanted me to get as much sleep as I could to heal. If we hadn't talked, it would have just festered.

(in reply to ScooterTrash)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Why go poly? - 7/22/2005 7:31:45 PM   
MstrHellsFury


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		I think the perspective you relate is the right way to go Scooter...but I must interject just one small observation form a personal standpoint...why does it seem like my poly lifestyle is more tolorent than those in a mono that I come in contact with...why can't others believe more than two people can live in a happy relationship...even when they see it..and know it's truely a LTR...it still becomes the taboo within this lifestyle...

(in reply to ScooterTrash)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Why go poly? - 7/22/2005 8:23:23 PM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 634
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

why does it seem like my poly lifestyle is more tolorent than those in a mono that I come in contact with...why can't others believe more than two people can live in a happy relationship...even when they see it..and know it's truely a LTR...it still becomes the taboo within this lifestyle...


Hopefully you don't mind if I answer on Scooter's behalf..... Wives are known to do that on occasion... lol

I think part of that is because of the amount of effort it takes to maintain a peaceful environment and all that poly families go through might serve to make them more tolerant... not because we are better then a mono couple... perhaps it's because we feel like we live in the proverbial "glass house" and make that conscious decision, almost daily at times, to avoid being judgemental. Others don't necessarily believe it isn't possible but I think that some of those that find it difficult to understand are the ones that haven't quite got a mono relationship figure out, (Please note... I said..."I think" as well as "SOME of those") and in that light, if people can't manage a one on one relationship it's really hard to fathom that there are some that can manage one involving 3 or more people. As far as "taboo" is concerned... I honestly believe that at some point everything was/is/will be a taboo.... perhaps it's just what happens during the period of "awakening"?

Jewel (Scooter's other half)

_____________________________

ShiftedJewel of PhoenixRisen

(in reply to MstrHellsFury)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Why go poly? - 7/29/2005 6:19:26 AM   
hardxdrive


Posts: 119
Joined: 7/12/2005
Status: offline 		come on. for a man who wouldnt want more than one hot female slave to serve him. for the ladies. i guess if your bi it can be very hot as well.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Why go poly? - 7/30/2005 6:40:56 PM   
MstrHellsFury


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		poly doesn't always mean multiple people in an intimate relationship...poly means more than two people living in a caring sharing close family relationship...not all poly are intimate with each other...there may be other needs to fulfill to complete this situation...

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 39
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