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RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa) to someone in a vanilla setting.


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RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/26/2006 7:41:31 AM   
orfunboi


Posts: 229
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		Well with past girlfriends, i usually just introduced them by name. Same with my ex-Domme, i introduced her by name or as my roommate. However 2 years ago at my mothers funeral, i introduced her as my girlfriend to everyone, including my minister. i guess that day, i just didn't care if they knew.

(in reply to LthrdWolf)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/26/2006 7:50:39 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 458
Joined: 9/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

Mostly I will introduce my Lord as my friend or partner. He has introduced me to his parents as his "American wife" with alandra standing right next to me! (He and alandra are married)

Knight's kyra

Kyra, I love this! lol Do they think he is teasing? How do you handle the "family" as far as questions go?

_____________________________

MoGa
Happiness Is Having An Obedient Puppy!

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/26/2006 7:58:56 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 458
Joined: 9/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Can you just imagine what the possible responses to her might have been,if that was included too in the interpretive & then response to that mix?! -LOL.
Been enjoying your posts for awhile,Glad to finally speak with you - albeit briefly. *S*

Thank you LthrdWolf <s>
Actually, I do have a young friend who used to sit with me while I was working. He was just a friend, but people would come up and ask if he was my son, I would respond with different answers "No, he is my lover" was one of my favorites. Made all the more funnier because he wasnt my lover, just my friend. I would get the funniest looks. It never ceases to amaze me the judgemental attitudes of strangers who think that I am "robbing the cradle". A waitress in Savannah actually refused to deal with me, she directed all of her questions/comments to pup. When he moved to my side of the table to sit next to me, she got so upset. When she brought our food out, she placed pups food across the table to where he was originally sitting, as if to say "Get back to your side of the table young man!" lol she was an older woman, probably 10-15 years older than I am. But she acted like I was the worst woman in the world for corrupting this young man. Some things you just have to ignore and move on, but damn did she piss me off. I can't stand people who think that they know everything and can just sit and pass judgement on others. Ok, sorry about the hi-jacking lol I got off topic.

_____________________________

MoGa
Happiness Is Having An Obedient Puppy!

(in reply to LthrdWolf)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/26/2006 9:04:37 AM   
Evanesce


Posts: 633
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

What do you call Your submissive or slave (or vice versa) when they are Not your vanilla married partner,when introducing them to a vanilla who is not aware of your lifestyle ...nor do you want them to be.


Master and I simply introduce each other by our first names. It's really no one else's business whether I'm his wife, girlfriend (I hate that term), lover or slave, so let them speculate all they want as to the nature of our relationship.

We went to a home show a couple years ago, and a girl working one of the booths asked if we were brother and sister. She'd been observing our playful sparring and assumed we MUST be related by blood. Master told her he'd make a substantial purchase if she could figure out what our real relationship was. Needless to say, she didn't get the sale, but it was fun watching her mental gymnastics while she tried to figure it out.

_____________________________

Denise
the Kaptin's wench

(in reply to LthrdWolf)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/26/2006 9:09:30 AM   
Veryleggyredhead


Posts: 10
Joined: 2/5/2006
From: Tampa
Status: offline 		I typically introduce them as a freind, significant other or partner depending on the depth of my connection with them.
quote:

ORIGINAL: OscarHargraves

"This is my friend Kari."

or

"This is Kari. She's a friend of the family."

or

"Hi LthrdWolf. This is Kari. She works for me."


(in reply to OscarHargraves)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/26/2006 10:39:41 AM   
Sunshine119


Posts: 244
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LthrdWolf
What do you call Your submissive or slave (or vice versa) when they are Not your vanilla married partner,when introducing them to a vanilla who is not aware of your lifestyle ...nor do you want them to be.


Very few of our friends know what our real relationship is. We keep a very low profile in our vanilla lives. And, at my age "boy"friend seems inappropriate. I have always hated the SO title. So, to those with whom I am friends or my family, I "jokingly" refer to him as "the King" or "His Highness". Little do they know, he is my King and he's got the King sword to prove it! LOL

_____________________________

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

(in reply to LthrdWolf)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/26/2006 11:16:38 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 334
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa


quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

Mostly I will introduce my Lord as my friend or partner. He has introduced me to his parents as his "American wife" with alandra standing right next to me! (He and alandra are married)

Knight's kyra

Kyra, I love this! lol Do they think he is teasing? How do you handle the "family" as far as questions go?


Do they think he is teasing.... yes and no. I think his mom wants to believe that he is teasing and that her good catholic boy wouldn't do that... but I think she is also just trying to decide whether or not she really wants to know. She knows that I am significant to him and alandra and one day she will ask the questions she wants to have answered. As long as alandra and the little ones are happy she will eventually accept it. At this time my family is only aware of my relationship with him and they know that alandra is a good friend. One day that will change.... We have all decided that we are too significant to each other to hide our relationship from others and we will deal with the consequences of our choices when the time comes.

Knight's kyra



_____________________________

Question the Answers - Anonymous

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/26/2006 4:52:57 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 495
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

"...allow Me to introduce you to My associate, 'bob'..."

Texas Maam


ROFLMAO umm Bob in my world is the Battery Operated Boyfriend...though some days that might still be appropriate.

(in reply to TexasMaam)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/26/2006 6:16:48 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 458
Joined: 9/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists


quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa


quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

Mostly I will introduce my Lord as my friend or partner. He has introduced me to his parents as his "American wife" with alandra standing right next to me! (He and alandra are married)

Knight's kyra

Kyra, I love this! lol Do they think he is teasing? How do you handle the "family" as far as questions go?


Do they think he is teasing.... yes and no. I think his mom wants to believe that he is teasing and that her good catholic boy wouldn't do that... but I think she is also just trying to decide whether or not she really wants to know. She knows that I am significant to him and alandra and one day she will ask the questions she wants to have answered. As long as alandra and the little ones are happy she will eventually accept it. At this time my family is only aware of my relationship with him and they know that alandra is a good friend. One day that will change.... We have all decided that we are too significant to each other to hide our relationship from others and we will deal with the consequences of our choices when the time comes.

Knight's kyra


Kyra, I think that this is a very healthy attitude to have. Life is way to short to worry too much about what others think. If no one is being hurt and all are happy, then that should be the only thing that matters. Thank you for answering. I know it was rather personal.

_____________________________

MoGa
Happiness Is Having An Obedient Puppy!

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/27/2006 10:46:25 AM   
LthrdWolf


Posts: 88
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		Lots of Good ideas posted ...Thank you.

LthrdWolf

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/27/2006 6:04:02 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 334
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

Kyra, I think that this is a very healthy attitude to have. Life is way to short to worry too much about what others think. If no one is being hurt and all are happy, then that should be the only thing that matters. Thank you for answering. I know it was rather personal.



My pleasure.

BTW, I like your new pic; I can't wait until my hair gets long enough for pony tails again. *g*

kyra

_____________________________

Question the Answers - Anonymous

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/27/2006 8:37:31 PM   
EvilGeoff


Posts: 161
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LthrdWolf

What do you call Your submissive or slave (or vice versa) when they are Not your vanilla married partner,when introducing them to a vanilla who is not aware of your lifestyle ...nor do you want them to be.



*smiles*
I use: "This is my girl, janey."

She uses "This is my Man, Geoff."

We know the signifigance of the words, if no one else knows, so what? They can place whatever importance they wish to the introduction. And she addresses me as "Sir" in front of pretty much everyone. If it raises eyebrows we don't care. We are out to our respective families, it's who we are. If others find it odd, well, that's their issue to deal with. If someone is close enough to us to know our relationship, they don't _need_ an introduction. If they are strangers, they don't need to know details about our relationship.

Just my $.02....

YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to LthrdWolf)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/27/2006 10:23:17 PM   
LthrdWolf


Posts: 88
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

quote:

Can you just imagine what the possible responses to her might have been,if that was included too in the interpretive & then response to that mix?! -LOL.
Been enjoying your posts for awhile,Glad to finally speak with you - albeit briefly. *S*

Thank you LthrdWolf <s>
Actually, I do have a young friend who used to sit with me while I was working. He was just a friend, but people would come up and ask if he was my son, I would respond with different answers "No, he is my lover" was one of my favorites. Made all the more funnier because he wasnt my lover, just my friend. I would get the funniest looks. It never ceases to amaze me the judgemental attitudes of strangers who think that I am "robbing the cradle". A waitress in Savannah actually refused to deal with me, she directed all of her questions/comments to pup. When he moved to my side of the table to sit next to me, she got so upset. When she brought our food out, she placed pups food across the table to where he was originally sitting, as if to say "Get back to your side of the table young man!" lol she was an older woman, probably 10-15 years older than I am. But she acted like I was the worst woman in the world for corrupting this young man. Some things you just have to ignore and move on, but damn did she piss me off. I can't stand people who think that they know everything and can just sit and pass judgement on others. Ok, sorry about the hi-jacking lol I got off topic.


You're welcome MOGa *S* ...& np re the "hijacking" ...interesting story re You & pup. *G*

LthrdWolf

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/27/2006 10:33:36 PM   
LthrdWolf


Posts: 88
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: orfunboi

Well with past girlfriends, i usually just introduced them by name. Same with my ex-Domme, i introduced her by name or as my roommate. However 2 years ago at my mothers funeral, i introduced her as my girlfriend to everyone, including my minister. i guess that day, i just didn't care if they knew.


Sorry for your loss orfunboi ...Death is like that ...especially with someone who might be really close (not assuming your type of relationship with her though.)
At break neck speed ...it slams things into poignant focus blurring all that is inconsequential ...& sharpening the rest.

Now I digress ...but thought I should respond to you.

LthrdWolf


< Message edited by LthrdWolf -- 2/27/2006 10:44:39 PM >

(in reply to orfunboi)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/27/2006 11:02:31 PM   
KittenWithaTwist


Posts: 327
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa


quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists


quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa


quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

Mostly I will introduce my Lord as my friend or partner. He has introduced me to his parents as his "American wife" with alandra standing right next to me! (He and alandra are married)

Knight's kyra

Kyra, I love this! lol Do they think he is teasing? How do you handle the "family" as far as questions go?


Do they think he is teasing.... yes and no. I think his mom wants to believe that he is teasing and that her good catholic boy wouldn't do that... but I think she is also just trying to decide whether or not she really wants to know. She knows that I am significant to him and alandra and one day she will ask the questions she wants to have answered. As long as alandra and the little ones are happy she will eventually accept it. At this time my family is only aware of my relationship with him and they know that alandra is a good friend. One day that will change.... We have all decided that we are too significant to each other to hide our relationship from others and we will deal with the consequences of our choices when the time comes.

Knight's kyra


Kyra, I think that this is a very healthy attitude to have. Life is way to short to worry too much about what others think. If no one is being hurt and all are happy, then that should be the only thing that matters. Thank you for answering. I know it was rather personal.


I think some peoples' happiness would be significantly lessened if they relied very little on what other people think. After all, if we thought only of our own comfort and not of those around us, we may not have very many relationships with others.

For instance, if my grandparents knew about the details of my relationship (which they do not believe goes beyond a typical vanilla relationship with the possibility of marriage), they might be extremely upset. It makes all of us (my partner, myself, and my grandparents) happier only giving them limited information.

We all take into consideration the thoughts, feelings, and opinions of those around us. Whether we respect those opinions, show concern or thought for those opinions, judge or disregard them...we (or at the very least I, as a social person) take them into account while I go about my business.

It always befuddles me when people think and say that we shouldn't care what other people think.

_____________________________

"Time travel: It's a cornocopia of disturbing concepts." ~Ron Stoppable

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/27/2006 11:25:38 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 681
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KittenWithaTwist
It always befuddles me when people think and say that we shouldn't care what other people think.


I'd befuddle you then dear. I was lucky in that my own Gran was the other open minded member of the family. Didn't turn a hair when I walked away from her religious belief at age 7, or found my own path in my early teens. She was a little concerned when she found I was dating three women simultainiously at one point, but once she found that they all knew about each other and there was no cheating going on, whilst she never quite understood Poly she didn't have a problem with anything honest. She'd have taken very much the same view about D/s and BDSM too had she lived a little longer.

The rest of my blood relations I couldn't care what they think, I don't let closed minded neandertals effect me much and have nothing to do with them.

My friends tend, for some strange reason, to also be the open minded variety.

So no, whilst I don't advertise what I am on billboards, I don't hide it either and if someone else has a problem with thet.... it stays their problem!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/28/2006 12:44:48 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 688
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		i refer to him as "my Mr. Wonderful." Well it's true - he is!! :)

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/28/2006 9:05:38 AM   
MsPurrmeow


Posts: 254
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline
I simply use their name. If it seems necessary, then I'll use 'Friend', but most often, it is not.
I would, by no means, collar or own a person that I couldn't also consider a friend when needed, so it's not dishonest by any means.

People don't often care that about a label as much as simply having a name. Most of the "vanilla" people in my life already have a strong clue about the poly family and the kink, so if someone opens a door for me or seems focused on me and my world, they already know what the situation is.

I introduce a few people to my mother when the opportunity arises. Her only curiosity is whether or not they are living with me. That's her criteria for being "part of my pride". She's learned that her judgements make no difference, so she doesn't bother anymore.


(in reply to LthrdWolf)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/28/2006 3:58:43 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 334
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KittenWithaTwist

It always befuddles me when people think and say that we shouldn't care what other people think.



It isn't so much that I don't care what other people think, but other people's opinions are not going to dictate how I live my life. The two people whose opinions about my life that I allow significance are my Lord and alandra. If I had lived my life based on other people's ideas of what I should do then I would be married with children, no higher education and I would not have one tenth the experiences that I do now.

What I find confusing is the opposite, when people allow other's opinions to dictate who they are. I may take other's thoughts into consideration, but at the end of the day it is my opinion that matters in my life. I will not be someone I am not just to please others or make others more comfortable. This is not to say that I am overly blatant about my sex life either, but there will come a time that our families will discover that the three of us are in a poly relationship because we will not be something we are not just to make them more comfortable.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

Question the Answers - Anonymous

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/28/2006 4:38:00 PM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1002
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

We know the signifigance of the words, if no one else knows, so what?


Say "Amen" somebody!

There's something to be said about consensuality here. And frankly, not everyone in my vanilla life will be consensual to the fact that whips and chains excite me. I don't think it's a good policy to decide that I should thrust my life choices on those who know me in a completely differant context other than my sexuality. Nor do I think it's appropriate.

Suffice it to say, Sir and I are not at a point (and I rue the day) where I am chained to the door jam and kneel awaiting his arrival home from hunting and gathering every day. I have a life, and one that is fairly social, with friends and business associates peppered through. Ironically, most of the social functions we go to have to do with my profession, and needless to say, I am not about to say "This is my Dominant, Boris". Just not bloody fucking likely, nor does he expect it. Again, not anyone who's not in the specific context's beezwax.

Though, on occasion he has introduced me as the Tupperware Lady. Gotta love a sense of humor.

Kassie

_____________________________

If it's not fun, why bother?

(in reply to EvilGeoff)
Profile   Post #: 40
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