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Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa) to someone in a vanilla setting.

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa) to someone in a vanilla setting.

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Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa) to... - 2/25/2006 4:39:32 PM

LthrdWolf

Posts: 88
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

I searched this here,but found mostly posts on renaming a newly collared submissive or slave. So,my question is actually this please.

What do you call Your submissive or slave (or vice versa) when they are Not your vanilla married partner,when introducing them to a vanilla who is not aware of your lifestyle ...nor do you want them to be.

LthrdWolf

Imp Ps/I am looking for something that would not only be innocuous to the third party,but at the same time not undermine in any way,the very important connection between the Master or Mistress & submissive or slave (or vice versa) ...ie/if you simply say,this is so & so (fill in the name,) it could be just a friend & you want to indicate More than that,but again Not shout -Bdsm at them.

Post #: 1

RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/25/2006 4:49:18 PM

KittenWithaTwist

Posts: 327
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

I call my dom my boyfriend, partner, or significant other in mixed company.

_____________________________

"Time travel: It's a cornocopia of disturbing concepts." ~Ron Stoppable

(in reply to LthrdWolf)

Post #: 2

RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/25/2006 4:50:38 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 851
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

"This is my secondary partner, Fox."

Or if Tom's around then "This is my partner, Fox".

He is NOT my boyfriend though. For some reason that term just pushes my buttons the wrong way.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

(in reply to LthrdWolf)

Post #: 3

RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/25/2006 4:59:13 PM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 458
Joined: 9/3/2005
Status: offline

quote:

What do you call Your submissive or slave (or vice versa) when they are Not your vanilla married partner,when introducing them to a vanilla who is not aware of your lifestyle ...nor do you want them to be.

Hi LthrdWolf,
"I would like you to meet a friend of mine from Savannah, LthrdWolf, this is Brian. Brian, meet LthrdWolf."
If you were a close friend, I may take you aside later and tell you that Brian is my submissive. If you and I are not that close, then just an introduction will do.
Good question <s> Funny you should ask it, as I had the opportunity to introduce pup to many people, as he was coming up to my work and helping me out. Many thought he was my son, and when I explained no, he wasnt my son, but instead a friend, they didnt ask any more. Although, this one woman, who I suspected was a Domina asked if pup was my "son" I thought she said "sub" and I said yes. Later that night, me and pup were slow dancing and she took me aside after the dance and said "I thought you said he was your son?" I started laughing and said "I thought YOU asked if he was my SUB" lol funny stuff. She knew exactly what I was talking about too <eg>

_____________________________

MoGa

Happiness Is Having An Obedient Puppy!

(in reply to LthrdWolf)

Post #: 4

RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/25/2006 5:05:15 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 1850
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

In My life its pretty simple---non-lifestyle--Hi, this is xxx My friend, bf, whatever is appropriate--if its lifestyle, its Hi, this is xxx My friend, bf, whatever and he is also My submissive.

_____________________________

"I would rather 30 seconds of something wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special." Steel Magnolias

Mistress Hathor

Proud owner of subtoFemDommes--who is known as Her private label in training.

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 5

RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/25/2006 5:05:31 PM

LadiesBladewing

Posts: 518
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline

SilverRose is my mate and I am hers. Tembi (and anyone else who makes a similar commitment) is "novitiate". Chanson (and any others in similar positions) is "seeker". For them, if they are introducing me, I am Mahgi Zephyr, and SilverRose is Lady SilverRose (or if we are with spiritually compatible people, Priestess-Healer SilverRose).

I have the advantage that WIITWD here is all part of our spiritual path.

When the Quad was the core of the House, SR, Luke and PD were "Mate" to one another and to outsiders, and I was "pet". Most of the time, with completely vanilla outsiders that we didn't want to share -any- of our philosophies with, we used strictly "street" names. That kept them completely out of our circle of intimacy, and we felt that if someone was completely out of our circle of intimacy, they had no business knowing how we were related, or even if we were, so they were welcome to speculate all they wanted.

Lady Zephyr

_____________________________

"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.

(in reply to LthrdWolf)

Post #: 6

RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/25/2006 5:07:17 PM

MissA

Posts: 116
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline

I always introduce lifestyle friends/partners as either "my friend so-and-so" or as in the case of my Husband before we were married my Boyfriend/Fiance. Unless you're trying to confuse the vanilla party or bring up the subject then it shouldn't offend anyone not to be refferred to as sub/slave/Master etc... IMO.

~Ms. A~

_____________________________

Instead of complaining that rose bushes have thorns, rejoice that thorn bushes bloom.
~Author Unknown~
My Domain

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 7

RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/25/2006 6:14:54 PM

jamesthehumanrug

Posts: 422
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline

DON'T know the entire circumstances;but,BETTER HIDE THAT SLAVE SOMEWHERE, AND HANG ON TO DEAR LIFE, TILL IT'S SAFE,TO COME OUT!
LOVE ,THAT PIC., ON THE ICE-CUBE WOLF TOO ;ATTACHED TO YOUR POSTS.
one fact is a consolation, tho;
we humans can all adapt,to almost anything.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LthrdWolf

I searched this here,but found mostly posts on renaming a newly collared submissive or slave. So,my question is actually this please.

What do you call Your submissive or slave (or vice versa) when they are Not your vanilla married partner,when introducing them to a vanilla who is not aware of your lifestyle ...nor do you want them to be.

LthrdWolf

Imp Ps/I am looking for something that would not only be innocuous to the third party,but at the same time not undermine in any way,the very important connection between the Master or Mistress & submissive or slave (or vice versa) ...ie/if you simply say,this is so & so (fill in the name,) it could be just a friend & you want to indicate More than that,but again Not shout -Bdsm at them.

_____________________________

I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to LthrdWolf)

Post #: 8

RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/25/2006 6:59:47 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 334
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

Mostly I will introduce my Lord as my friend or partner. He has introduced me to his parents as his "American wife" with alandra standing right next to me! (He and alandra are married)

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

Question the Answers - Anonymous

(in reply to LthrdWolf)

Post #: 9

RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/25/2006 7:07:42 PM

LthrdWolf

Posts: 88
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

quote:

What do you call Your submissive or slave (or vice versa) when they are Not your vanilla married partner,when introducing them to a vanilla who is not aware of your lifestyle ...nor do you want them to be.

Hi LthrdWolf,
"I would like you to meet a friend of mine from Savannah, LthrdWolf, this is Brian. Brian, meet LthrdWolf."
If you were a close friend, I may take you aside later and tell you that Brian is my submissive. If you and I are not that close, then just an introduction will do.
Good question <s> Funny you should ask it, as I had the opportunity to introduce pup to many people, as he was coming up to my work and helping me out. Many thought he was my son, and when I explained no, he wasnt my son, but instead a friend, they didnt ask any more. Although, this one woman, who I suspected was a Domina asked if pup was my "son" I thought she said "sub" and I said yes. Later that night, me and pup were slow dancing and she took me aside after the dance and said "I thought you said he was your son?" I started laughing and said "I thought YOU asked if he was my SUB" lol funny stuff. She knew exactly what I was talking about too <eg>

Hi MoGA~

I would like to Thank You & Everyone who responded.Also,loved your son/sub story - lol.I am amongst many things (at this point in time) also into (adult to adult) ageplay.Can you just imagine what the possible responses to her might have been,if that was included too in the interpretive & then response to that mix?! -LOL.
Been enjoying your posts for awhile,Glad to finally speak with you - albeit briefly. *S*

LthrdWolf ...TammyJo ...you know I *Grin* every time I see that bubble bath! - Great fun!

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 10

RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/25/2006 7:39:13 PM

RiotGirl

Posts: 1752
Status: offline

i usually just use his name "Rob". Since we also mix vanilla into everything.. i'll say "my boyfriend" Or my "man"

Sometimes i'll introduce him as "the man" And running around a college one night while he was piercing a few girls i introduced him as "Daddy" and had everyone calling hiim Daddy.. even the guys. LOL

sometimes its "Mr Boyfriend" and if i'm feeling cheeky, in a good mood and in the mind frame to shock some one and please him i'll call him "God" Ppl are usually like "huh?" he cracks up and then explains.. but its never to complete strangers who could take it the wrong way.

i've always been one to come up with pet names, or other names.. and i know i have a million of them.. but i cant think of them..

my favorite for my 4 ft alien is "short pants"

_____________________________

"Someone's got to love the stupid ppl, but it sure isnt going to be me"

(in reply to LthrdWolf)

Post #: 11

RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/25/2006 8:11:28 PM

krys

Posts: 297
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

If introducing your sub/slave to a vanilla person by their name will so undermine the D/s dynamic between you that you have to come up with some kind of code word to remind them of their place, that sub/slave probably isn't going to be around long enough for it to really be a problem.

_____________________________

kry{Rk}

(in reply to LthrdWolf)

Post #: 12

RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/25/2006 8:16:38 PM

LthrdWolf

Posts: 88
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: krys

If introducing your sub/slave to a vanilla person by their name will so undermine the D/s dynamic between you that you have to come up with some kind of code word to remind them of their place, that sub/slave probably isn't going to be around long enough for it to really be a problem.

Not at all ...it was just a question ...on My part ...for My satisfaction.

LthrdWolf

(in reply to krys)

Post #: 13

RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/25/2006 8:33:32 PM

brightspot

Posts: 1161
Joined: 3/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

What do you call Your submissive or slave (or vice versa) when they are Not your vanilla married partner,when introducing them to a vanilla who is not aware of your lifestyle ...nor do you want them to be.

Well for myself and my ex-Domina we dealt with the lifestyle plus being lesbians.
Sometimes we would discuss it, but most of the time I just followed her lead and what she deemed appropriate for any given situation.

*Brightspot

_____________________________

*Brightspot

"Cheer Up! The worst is yet to come" ~Philander Johnson

"Common sense is very uncommon" ~Horace Greeley

"Words are the most Powerful Drug of Mankind." ~Kiplin

(in reply to LthrdWolf)

Post #: 14

RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/25/2006 9:13:39 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 298
Status: offline

"...allow Me to introduce you to My associate, 'bob'..."

Texas Maam

(in reply to LthrdWolf)

Post #: 15

RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/26/2006 1:38:38 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 681
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

Hi LthrdWolf, have you met my young lady?

Friends who know I am a Dom will understand what that means and Vanillas in the same room simply assume she is a partner/gf

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

(in reply to LthrdWolf)

Post #: 16

RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/26/2006 4:32:51 AM

Cloudz

Posts: 279
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline

Raven,

I love it, simple, direct, true...well done!

_____________________________

Bright Blessings,
~Cloudz
_

I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It's cloud's illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 17

RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/26/2006 4:37:44 AM

ScooterTrash

Posts: 267
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline

I think sometimes the situation will dictate the response. We have tried the "housekeeper" or "maid" title before and that didn't seem to quite sound right (we're a Dom/me couple with a female slave), but it will usually put the matter to rest if someone is asking and we don't feel like they need to know more. In most cases, we simple introduce our slave by name and if the party we are addressing ask for more info, then we try to gage the response by who we are talking to. We are very open about our lifestyle choices and most people who know us, nilla or not, have heard "If you don't want the answer, don't ask the question", so most of the time we are not asked to explain..lol. Shock factor is kind of fun actually and you can get an interesting reaction from "this is my other wife", or "this is my slave"...if they are nilla they usually just roll their eyes, chuckle and don't ask anything more, if they are in the lifestyle you may simply get an acknowleging nod. Perhaps this is a scientific way to sort out the crowd sometimes (weg).

As to what the proper response is? I think a lot of this would depend on IF you can be open about it or not, many folks cannot be straightforward as it might jeapardize their work situation, or perception in their circle of friends. In these cases, I guess finding a title that you anticipate is going to be acceptable to that particular person might be the right response at the time, even if it's not entirely accurate. By the way...Good question!

_____________________________

Scooter.....It's not the destination..it's the journey

(in reply to LthrdWolf)

Post #: 18

RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/26/2006 5:25:38 AM

bear372217355

Posts: 87
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

That's why it is so nice to be married to your BDSM partner. In mixed company or with fellow lifestylers, Mi'Lady just intro's me as her bear and I intro her as mi'Lady. No one thinks twice about the names. Nilla or not,lol.

_____________________________

Collared, caged and the sole property of Lady Elizabeth.

(in reply to LthrdWolf)

Post #: 19

RE: Introducing Your submissive or slave (or vice versa... - 2/26/2006 7:09:14 AM

OscarHargraves

Posts: 616
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline

"This is my friend Kari."

or

"This is Kari. She's a friend of the family."

or

"Hi LthrdWolf. This is Kari. She works for me."

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly!!!

(in reply to LthrdWolf)

Post #: 20

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