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RE: Cuckolding


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RE: Cuckolding - 2/2/2006 9:56:38 PM   
KneelB4You


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline
This is interesting. There are currently 694 female profiles (hey, I had time on my hands) on CM listing Cuckolding as an interest at some level. Yet nearly every response on this thread from a woman seems to fit into one of two bins:

1) That's an interesting moon rock you've brought in today Timmy. Where did you say it came from?
2) I would sooner drop my man into a vat of sulfuric acid. Who would *do* such a thing to someone they love?

I think it is something people are either into fiercely - even obsessively - or it is completely foreign to them. I gather it's also taboo enough - even in this community - that some women might be reticent to express their interest or curiosity, for fear of a judgmental response (though I fully believe and respect the negative female responses here - we're not talking about "light spanking" after all).

For me it has been an enduring, unshakeable fantasy since my early 20s (I'm 42). It sort of demarked the plateau (or nadir, depending on how you look at it!) in the progression of my submissive thoughts and tastes. So what is the draw? Well... while I can sincerely second the offerings above of "wanting to see her as happy and fulfilled as possible", to be completely honest that's not the fuel that the primary rocket engine runs on. For me that would be the combination of watching her on a decadent, unapologetic power trip ("knowing he can't, but *I* can, and whenever I feel like it"), and the complementary feeling in me of sudden, utter, powerlessness. When I think on it, the best analogy that comes to mind is a sense of total "free fall", through nothingness, for as long as it is going on. Like one of those dreams where you aren't sure what will happen when you hit the ground, or if you actually will.

At least, that's what I feel when I think about it. I've never done this, all out at least. :) But I've gotten close enough to know that it is a mighty powerful force to play with (read: danger).

Humiliation and service (of her, and possibly him) figure in there too, but then those are forms of submission, and someone covered them above I think.

Where does it all come from? I've heard all types of theories, from Freudian to Darwinian and everything in between. The psychoanalytic and evolutionary explanations both have a ring of truth to me. In a nutshell, the former is that the cuckold yearning is a re-creation of the "safe" feeling of childhood, when mom was right there for you, but meanwhile this powerful male (dad) kept taking her behind closed doors and ravishing her (not very flattering to discuss this "mom" angle, but hey, I'm sure it's there). The latter basically is that throughout the development of our species, a tribe flourished by having "alpha" males with superior genes and all that sorta stuff inseminate the females, while the beta/subordinate ones played other roles like nurturing and other forms of social lubrication (ahem). Things wouldn't "work" for the tribe (and nobody's genes would survive), if the beta males didn't evolve some mechanism that kept them raptly interested in this place in the order - so over eons their genes stumbled on a tendency to get turned on by the desireable females getting mounted by the alphas (sorry to wax so romantic here).

I don't find the angle of it being "an expression of latent homosexuality" mutually exclusive with either of the above storylines, and I think that likely there's not an either/or answer. But I also don't believe hetero/homosexuality is the sharply dichotomous and discrete collection of boxes that people often want to treat them as. There are threads relating to both running through the various drives that accompany us through our day. How much unconscious "homosexual" drive, for example, is present in a straight woman employee wanting badly to please her female boss? Probably at least a drop, I'd argue. Not that I can prove it in court.

There are a number of forums on the web dedicated to the subject - the best-run for years was on adultcommunitiesonline.com, until a hacker suddenly demolished it two weeks ago. Plenty of yahoo groups for different flavors and geographic localities (but generally spotty worth), if you're really curious.

Yow. For a first post on this forum that was a tome. Sorry if it made it hard for people to scroll past who were following someone else's discussion. I get wordy when I'm tired.

(in reply to veronicaofML)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Cuckolding - 2/3/2006 7:28:28 AM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 541
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
I really enjoy cuckolding. It's a fetish that I savor and when I have a cuckolding scene planned I look forward to it for days in advance. Everyone does it differently, of course, here's my particular brand...

I have a date planned on Saturday, a romantic evening with a new lover. I call the cuckold and inform him that on Saturday night I would like a very romantic evening, I tell him what restaurant I want to have dinner in and what time. I also give him the name and phone number of the man (for purposes of simplicity he will be called "the man" from here on out) I will be seeing that evening. The cuck will call the restaurant and make the reservation, I have had cucks that have gotten intricate with this step and had requested a special table, flowers or extra candles. The cuck will then call the man and inform him of my specific taste in flowers, and ask if there's anything he can do to help him prepare for the date (clean his car, purchase the flowers, etc...)

On Saturday, the cuck will come to my home and prepare me for a special evening. Whether he does these things himself or pays for and accompanies me to a salon to have them done depends on my assessment of his skill level, but I have a mani/pedi and massage as well as having my hair done. He will help me bathe, shave/wax as the case may be, dress and apply makeup as well. He will greet the man at the door, take his coat, offer him a refreshment and then announce to me that my date has arrived. Once we have left for the evening, the cuck will then prepare my bedroom for our return. He lights candles, turns on music, dims the lights, changes the sheets on the bed, puts out flowers and flower petals, massage oils, and condoms. He prepares a plate of fresh fruit and an ice bucket with bottled water. He will then prepare a mat by the side of the bed and lying on the mat will be a blindfold, gates of hell, and hand cuffs. Lastly, he kneels by the door and awaits my return.

When we enter he stands and takes our coats. He follows us to the living room and offers drinks. Kneels by the entrance to the room, and waits for any orders. When we retire to the bedroom he follows us and takes his place kneeling on the mat by the bed he puts himself into the gates of hell and waits for orders. Depending on the comfort level of the man, I will use the cuck as a fluffer for the man. This may be before or after he's blindfolded. Or I might not use the blindfold. I cuff the cuck and have him kneel on the mat while we fuck. He listens and maybe is allowed to watch. He is exposed to my sexuality, witnessing the intensity and seeing/hearing my gratification without being allowed to experience or feel it. He is a part of it without being able to touch, cause or effect it. Verbal humiliation is especially effective when used at this very heated point. When finished he cleans the both of us up, and offers us the refreshments he's set out. When I give him the word he then assists the man in dressing and escorts him to the door. He will then return to the bedroom and if I'm still awake then he will kneel on his mat and we will discuss the evening. If I'm sleeping he'll curl up on his mat and sleep.

In my experience it's about my ability and desire to flaunt my sexuality, tease, deny and humiliate the cuck. It's also about his inferiority and inability to please me sexually. The many layers of humiliation are evident. It has the ability to be a very powerful scene, and can have an exreme effect on a cuck that you have a strong emotional bond with.




_____________________________

-Tress


"If a woman has to tell you that she's a lady, chances are, she isn't."


(in reply to KneelB4You)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Cuckolding - 2/3/2006 7:50:39 AM   
sting516


Posts: 407
Joined: 9/4/2004
From: long island, ny
Status: offline
This topic is one that really does nothing for me...a few years back, i was in conversations with a Domme from Maine...we met up, and i spent the weekend with Her and Her slave...while i was in bed, sleeping as i recall, She and Her slave were also in the bed, and they began to have intercourse...this made me sooooooooooo uncomfortable, that i asked to be let out of the bed...which was permitted.

The only thing i'll say is, maybe this kind of thing would be an ultimate punishment for me...but if one was a voyeur, i could see the appeal....i'm into humiliation, but this particular form just isn't my cuppa tea.

As always, your mileage may vary.

sting

(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Cuckolding - 2/3/2006 10:54:54 AM   
seaturtle50


Posts: 381
Joined: 12/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

In my experience it's about my ability and desire to flaunt my sexuality, tease, deny and humiliate the cuck. It's also about his inferiority and inability to please me sexually. The many layers of humiliation are evident. It has the ability to be a very powerful scene, and can have an exreme effect on a cuck that you have a strong emotional bond with.


Yes Ma'am!!

st50

_____________________________

i want to be your ... #1 lowest common denominator.

Destiny happens in a moment ... in the blink of an eye.

(in reply to sting516)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Cuckolding - 2/3/2006 10:57:18 AM   
seaturtle50


Posts: 381
Joined: 12/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

There are currently 694 female profiles (hey, I had time on my hands) on CM listing Cuckolding as an interest at some level


That number by itself only serves to wet ones whistle. did you happen to notice the total number of femail profiles, and how many of the 694 were from proDommes?

Would be interested in those numbers if you still have time.

St50

_____________________________

i want to be your ... #1 lowest common denominator.

Destiny happens in a moment ... in the blink of an eye.

(in reply to seaturtle50)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Cuckolding - 2/3/2006 7:28:48 PM   
Euryanx


Posts: 96
Joined: 6/27/2005
From: Philly, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress
It has the ability to be a very powerful scene, and can have an exreme effect on a cuck that you have a strong emotional bond with.



How can you treat a man like that and have a "strong emotional bond" with someone that you've just completely humiliated and abused?

I suppose everyone's version of love is different. I can't love someone if I have no respect for them. How can you completely degrade someone like that, completely rip away their masculinity, and call it "love"?


(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Cuckolding - 2/3/2006 8:06:13 PM   
KneelB4You


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: seaturtle50

That number by itself only serves to wet ones whistle. did you happen to notice the total number of femail profiles, and how many of the 694 were from proDommes?

Would be interested in those numbers if you still have time.

St50


Sorry... Until they make the membership database downloadable in a relational database format, that would be just a wee bit tedious to determine! I can offer you this tidbit however. There were roughly 2 or 3 women per page (of 25) listing themselves as "Submissive". Which really sparks my imagination. Do they have husbands whom they want to be dominated sexually in front of (something I would find hot), or do they just find the cuckolding idea fascinating in a general sort of way? Again, the level of interest varied between "Lives for" and "Curious about" (but from a spot check I estimate that "Loves" was the most common level indicated).

Does Collarme need a staff statistician? (I could work for doggie biscuits!)

(in reply to seaturtle50)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Cuckolding - 2/3/2006 8:39:41 PM   
KneelB4You


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Euryanx

How can you treat a man like that and have a "strong emotional bond" with someone that you've just completely humiliated and abused?

I suppose everyone's version of love is different. I can't love someone if I have no respect for them. How can you completely degrade someone like that, completely rip away their masculinity, and call it "love"?



To each his own, but I really don't get this singling out of cuckolding - among the myriad forms of BDSM humiliation/punishment/powerplay discussed here - as *necessarily* incompatible with a loving intimate relationship.

I don't know how to put this gently... but some people who are not into BDSM *actually* would insist that putting a collar and leash on a partner and leading them around like an animal is - get this - degrading! Yes, they actually think that! And putting welts on their bottom with a riding crop that was meant for horses? Why do you think so little of him or her? Why not find someone whom you don't feel the need to do that to?

Seriously though, I guess with all of these things, it comes down to degree, and intent. And certainly sexual play outside a relationship has the *potential* to be destructive, I'm not disputing that. And I don't think I would want to be in a love relationship with a woman who didn't think the *world* of me. But taunting, teasing, testing my submission by having to watch her with another man, and then requiring me to *thank* him afterwards for fucking her? It seems in play to me. Though I imagine it requires a great deal of trust, communication, commitment and understanding on the part of both. And the sense of balance to ride that narrow ledge between play and seriousness.

But what do I know - I've never done this for real.

(Incidentally, not to speak for her, but yourMissTress's profile implies that her "cuckold" is not her primary partner. However I have read of many committed couples who do this and still adore and respect each other.)

(in reply to Euryanx)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Cuckolding - 2/3/2006 10:16:22 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 2294
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline
I guess you're serious, but I'm still surprised that someone would ask this on a BDSM discussion board. You really don't think it's possible to have a strong emotional bond with someone you humiliate? Well, I guess you don't, but then your comment boils down to nothing more than "I don't like your kink."

quote:

ORIGINAL: Euryanx

How can you treat a man like that and have a "strong emotional bond" with someone that you've just completely humiliated and abused?


(in reply to Euryanx)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Cuckolding - 2/3/2006 10:26:05 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 960
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Euryanx


quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress
It has the ability to be a very powerful scene, and can have an exreme effect on a cuck that you have a strong emotional bond with.



How can you treat a man like that and have a "strong emotional bond" with someone that you've just completely humiliated and abused?

I suppose everyone's version of love is different. I can't love someone if I have no respect for them. How can you completely degrade someone like that, completely rip away their masculinity, and call it "love"?




How could a woman ever feminize a man and ever respect him again as a *man* after completely humiliating him? How can she continue to have a good emotional bond with a man once he has been feminized? How can she rip away his masculinity and still call it "love"?

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha'sWeb - All original femdom erotica and articles since 1995
http://www.akashaweb.com
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(in reply to Euryanx)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Cuckolding - 2/4/2006 11:09:27 AM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 541
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Euryanx


quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress
It has the ability to be a very powerful scene, and can have an exreme effect on a cuck that you have a strong emotional bond with.



How can you treat a man like that and have a "strong emotional bond" with someone that you've just completely humiliated and abused?

I suppose everyone's version of love is different. I can't love someone if I have no respect for them. How can you completely degrade someone like that, completely rip away their masculinity, and call it "love"?




I can see from your profile that the concepts of masculinity and femininity are not only intertwined, but also wrapped quite tightly to your heart. I can also see that this particular kink is quite obviously something that you would not desire to be a part of. I appreciate and respect your feelings. But I will not engage you regarding your opinion of my feelings.

Please feel free to continue to critique and judge my kink. As I'm sure you enjoy and encourage others to critique and judge your own.



_____________________________

-Tress


"If a woman has to tell you that she's a lady, chances are, she isn't."


(in reply to Euryanx)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Cuckolding - 2/4/2006 12:30:08 PM   
Oumae


Posts: 614
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline
Euryanx, having read posts from you before I don't think you meant your one above to sound as closed as it did. I think KneelB4You has answered it quite well. Some really get off on this kink and can do it with someone and get something from it because they know there is mutual respect behind it.

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to Euryanx)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Cuckolding - 2/5/2006 12:19:37 AM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 189
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: seaturtle50

quote:

There are currently 694 female profiles (hey, I had time on my hands) on CM listing Cuckolding as an interest at some level


That number by itself only serves to wet ones whistle. did you happen to notice the total number of femail profiles, and how many of the 694 were from proDommes?

Would be interested in those numbers if you still have time.



I'm One(Pro-Domme),but I also have a slave at home,that I have been Cuckolding....do I still count?LOL
St50



_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.


"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to seaturtle50)
Profile   Post #: 73
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