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RE: Poly ONLY works "if" ---> read on


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RE: Poly ONLY works "if" ---> read on - 11/28/2005 10:04:14 AM   
LeatherBehr77


Posts: 17
Joined: 11/26/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lovenlaffs

I believe that Trust, Honesty, and Communication goes hand in hand in EVERY relationship. I can't stand to be lied to. I have been cheated on by My ex husband. I would rather the man/woman tell Me that they are sleeping with someone else then for them to hold it behind My back.


Agreed, that in ANY relationship; Trust, Honesty, Open Communication, and Respect are totally nessicary, and often key building blocks in any long-standing relationship (be it acquaintenceship, friendship, or more intimate relationships be they vanilla or kink.)

_____________________________

"Everywhere there are thorns. But along the path of vice, a rose does dare bloom above them." ~ Marquis A.D.C. DeSade

(in reply to Lovenlaffs)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Poly ONLY works "if" ---> read on - 11/28/2005 10:16:00 AM   
LeatherBehr77


Posts: 17
Joined: 11/26/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jamesthehumanrug

greetings, my dear,
widower dom,
permission ,to speak:
,if i may;
you are right;minus the possibility ,of herums, and, indian cultures ;
monogamy, or even serial-monogamy is the rule; it's a development, of evolution.(biological aspects,of human behavior -boston university, prof.,ms. m.landau,) ,to guard ,against ,inbreeding, and, ensure fittest ,of the species.
i learned ,in abnormal-psych. grad. shool,that,
again you are right
no 3-somes work ;and, the youngest ,if any is always killed, by the oldest ,if any...
plus: 2 females ;even ,if gay ,or, in a "specialized-friendship"(damian,and,pithius,) will never technically be able ,to get along ,without arguments due to ,too similar politics which causes arguments(dissonence,in same strong belief systems:ie: causes protests ,by one ,or the ,0ther,against each ,other,of the same government....)
"viva la differance" ,in this case means
:there are less arguments ,or some positive value, to straight,
or more agreements are possible, if the 2 are: male vs. female,for, instance:
male ,and ,females are ,so different, because, of raised gender differences
( don't worry:there's a 'cure' ;use circular play-toys, thru,out life) ,and ,together are ,in 2 -completely different -gender-based political fields , that
they are,inevitably brought ,up ,in 2 different worlds,
and, therefore:can get along better,than same-sex;
whereas,
one guy don't care ,about ,that little thing ,and, the female is ,out ,of her mind ,about such a thing, as the toilet-seat,up ,and, falling, in, the toilet ,at nite ,by surprize(....,to the male is ,of no concern,to the female is major point,of major concern)....
,altho: "similarity attracts",
if one is dominant the ,other has ,to be ,just , as dominant
,with the polar-opposite trait ,to attract ,and, keep the attention ,of the ,other,so they matched ,together
(ie:really really top, w/really really bottom)
one anology is:
elvis is a huge dominant personality,
and, wants a similar dominant female, that "sticks ,out"
equally dominant, amoung females,
but, still ,maifests, as top/ bottom compliments ,in bed.
so really : "opposites" will usually ,not attract...,
if you can ,over come all this....
,and, find the body; the mind ,and ,the spirit ,of a threesome ,
in a poly- relationship ;it's rare ,(possible,not probable ),and, in theory: will workout....who's who is the question,to figure ,out....
finally ;
according ,to the A.P.A. (AMERICAN PSYCHOLOGICAL ,AND, PSYCHIATRIC ASSOCIATIONS ) "bi "is the most well -ballanced preference, of, both gay ,and ,straight; considering....
,so -sorry ,to take all your time ,goddess ,
only ,to say:
you are absolutely right.



Hmm, i find this post most disturbing as that this is about the furthest thing from the truth, and delving into any anthropological studies of primative cultures would prove what you have stated as inaccurate. Many ancient cultures indulged in polyamoury....one of the more influential of them being the Ancient Roman culture, as well as Classic Greek culture.

However, opinions are opinions, and well if i can have mine, so too can you have yours.


_____________________________

"Everywhere there are thorns. But along the path of vice, a rose does dare bloom above them." ~ Marquis A.D.C. DeSade

(in reply to jamesthehumanrug)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Poly ONLY works "if" ---> read on - 11/28/2005 10:16:48 AM   
lovingmaster45


Posts: 261
Joined: 9/16/2004
Status: offline
I guess only men with a poor grasp of grammar and spelling can be so absolutley certain about so much in life. Why did I waste my time getting a PhD and being Mentored so many years?

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Master Jerry


(in reply to widowerDOM)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Poly ONLY works "if" ---> read on - 11/28/2005 5:11:40 PM   
MstrHellsFury


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline
excuse me while I tell everyone to pack their bags and get out...how dare they find and accept any kind of happiness living as they do...I feel so ashamed...can I do my Master pout now...I'm so different from the norm...

Fury

(in reply to widowerDOM)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Poly ONLY works "if" ---> read on - 11/28/2005 7:23:09 PM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 518
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrHellsFury

excuse me while I tell everyone to pack their bags and get out...how dare they find and accept any kind of happiness living as they do...I feel so ashamed...can I do my Master pout now...I'm so different from the norm...

Fury


*Puts on a big 'ol huge grin and blows y'all a kiss* Just don't get caught in the old "Fred Flintstone", trying to put the kitties out for the night!

LZ

(in reply to MstrHellsFury)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Poly ONLY works "if" ---> read on - 11/29/2005 10:26:52 PM   
SwtJadedGrl


Posts: 6
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

there is only one thing to do with a post like this .....


LMFAO....

yup yup



_____________________________

~~jaded~~

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Poly ONLY works "if" ---> read on - 12/6/2005 5:49:50 PM   
AquarianButerfly


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Joined: 12/6/2005
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Well said Lovenlaffs.. Well said

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AquarianButerfly

(in reply to Lovenlaffs)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Poly ONLY works "if" ---> read on - 12/9/2005 1:28:10 AM   
LadyAidan


Posts: 10
Joined: 9/19/2005
Status: offline
Gee, I have never laughed so hard in my life. What utter rubbish widowerDom...You seem to be one of those boot stomping Doms of The Gospel according to me and I am always right don't you dare contradict me.

Please poly si what YOU put into it and the people you are with. I have an amazing poly house with NO jealousy or secrets. I have had a Male Dom counterpart run my house. He is no longer living and oh guess what we both made desicions, we did not defer to the other for anything. We made then together. And everything was out in the open.

Where ever you got all that ummm BS, you need to toss it back and talk to people who have successful poly households both BDSM and vanilla, before you go shooting off at the mouth again.

Know what you are speaking of before you speak.

Lady Aidan

_____________________________

It is not enough to Conquer...One must know how to Seduce! ~Voltiare~

(in reply to widowerDOM)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Poly ONLY works "if" ---> read on - 12/15/2005 3:24:56 PM   
Mauigurrlxxx


Posts: 30
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
I would like to know how many of the people that consider this garbage that are actively in 'poly' relationships do not have sex with the second, third, fourth additional slave/sub to enter the 'polygamous' family?

(in reply to widowerDOM)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Poly ONLY works "if" ---> read on - 12/15/2005 7:57:17 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 823
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mauigurrlxxx

I would like to know how many of the people that consider this garbage that are actively in 'poly' relationships do not have sex with the second, third, fourth additional slave/sub to enter the 'polygamous' family?



Well believe it or not... it does happen from time to time... not common ... but does happen

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

(in reply to Mauigurrlxxx)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Poly ONLY works "if" ---> read on - 12/16/2005 3:12:48 AM   
buffiyum


Posts: 84
Joined: 11/8/2004
Status: offline
Greetings A/all,
one feel compelled to wade in here on two fronts. Firstly on the 'Poly only works if' issue and second on the language issue mentioned in a few postings on this particulier board.
buffy has been part of two polys now.... as the situations were not long, she doesnot feel she has the needed experience to say what works. However, given what experiences she did have within those situations, she feels she can say what does not work.
Without A/all those involved agreeinig as to the basics of the relationship, namely honesty, openness, discipline, boundaries and other issues, there is no 'being on the same page' and at some point, the poly will fail.
one has seen though, a few polys which do work, aome of which were and are, led by Co-Dominants so in buffys mind, the proof is in the pudding so-to-speak and in the time-honoured mathematical formula of 'if a=b, and b=c, then a=c..... if there are Co-Dominants at the Head of Poly Homes, and the Poly Homes remain viable for a length of time (equal to or greater than many 'vanilla' marriages), ergo sum Co-Dominant led Homes are viable.
As to language well.....buffy doesnot always use spellcheck or cut/paste to a document as maybe she should.... at times the meaning of that which she is trying to say may be compromised by her spelling or use of the incorrect word.
But that is different she feel bound (sic) to say, than using words to fling disrespect of the way-of-life of Oothers whether or not those words so-flung are spelled right or not.
buffy take exception not only to the disrespectful and disparaging tone used by certain writers within this topic (who apparentely felt they needed to put down the poly lifestyle), but to the attitude which propels such drivel.
Yes, opinions are like assholes and we all got 'em. This doesnot give anyone the right to 'poop' upon someone elses chosen lifestyle. ewwwwww
People can (and often do and should) learn to state their opinions on things without putting it in such a manner that it makes everyone else want to shake them until their teeth fall out.
In the one instance, it sounds like the first post has a lot of pain in it. one could be wrong (and if she is she apologise), but perhaps the one posting that needs to address the accummulated pain underlying their post.
In another instance, a lot of erroneous data was set down as 'fact' to prove polys donot work historically. one think persons posting should always reference their work and should be prepared to be called on their references. It sounded to buffy that in that particulier instance, the one posting had their own 'agenda' and hey, thats cool. Everyone has one probably. Howver, when folks attempt to push that 'agenda' from a 'I know better and here is the educated proof and it sounds pretty "high-falouttin" too' sort of stance, it is doomed to failure. All it does, like the tone of the first post, is to set other people's backs up. It sure affected buffy that way in any case.
Wwe dont have to agree with or even understand the varied ways of living styles within the "Lifestyle" . Wwe just need to respect that they exist and that for those involved, they work.
Accept it, get over it and move on to find what works for you k?
Well, at 3 am thats buffys three cents worth. stick a fork in her cause man! she done.
respectfully,
buffy

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Poly ONLY works "if" ---> read on - 12/22/2005 10:39:20 AM   
wolffeathers


Posts: 185
Joined: 8/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jamesthehumanrug

monogamy, or even serial-monogamy is the rule; it's a development, of evolution.(biological aspects,of human behavior -boston university, prof.,ms. m.landau,) ,to guard ,against ,inbreeding, and, ensure fittest ,of the species.
i learned ,in abnormal-psych. grad. shool,that,
again you are right


So, this is why humans are one of the few in the animal kindom to have monogamus relationships, right?

Because we must keep from inbreeding.

What about spreading the gentic material?

It seems that doesn't matter.

The reason we have the drive to fuck multiple partners is instinct.

To have as many children as possible.

Not only for pleasure.

_____________________________

It's my way or the highway. Just happens that the highway is on my way.

~Master Wolf

(in reply to jamesthehumanrug)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Poly ONLY works "if" ---> read on - 12/28/2005 5:22:48 AM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2326
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Actually widowerDOM I agree with about 39% of what You
have stated. There can be more then One Alpha in a Loving
Longterm Poly relationship. There were Two Alpha Dominants
and one Alpha slave in Ours with the other Dom Beta and slaves.
And if You would call My 27/16 year relationship with two
Masters a selfishness and decieved lie well, Im ready for
another such One then because My first One was GRAND!
And Ill take that kind of selfishness and decieved relationship
over a mono marraige that I see all over that dont last
half as long as My selfishness and decieved Poly one
any ol day.( Notices several Doms on this thread and a butch
and bats My long OLD black eye lashes)

I actually took a bit of offence as to Your nonrealitivity of
My kind of Life out of Your discussion simply because My
statistics are not as large as anothers. Being a bit biased
arnt We? Can I omit Your opinion here because You only have
had 1 opinion on the board and make it null and void because
it holds opinions rejectant and small to Mine? hmmm Inquiring minds.
( Looks up at the Mods and just whimpers: comonn lets just do it once!)
~evil grin~
Well damn and all this time I thought My Husbands/Dominants/
Partners wanted Me for My brains, brawn n bondage. Go figgure
YOU widowerDOM would know better.There is actually none in Our
Poly structure of college age now ( cept for the third generation of
kids still grownin up in Our Home.) so that kind of blows Your theory
out the water too. Oh yea and I guess being together for close to 30
years did as well.. Hmmmmm now why would a Dominant Man nitpic
insluts then refuse to take any back......Notta fair player are Ya?
yes yes ITS ALL GOOD. Oh and Im a naturallist too and not in
the least ashamed of My 6 foot 300lb inperfect and well worn body
I strut around with pride at 47. Shall I whip My tits up here on the
table for a lil truth de taunt? Leetttttttssszzzzzzz rumble, cook and
hash it all out for Ya, whadya say? Get Your lil Poly ideas rejected
by a Loved One did Ya? Come onnnn, tell the truth here, We are
all Your freinds and listening hereeeeee, comeeee onnn speak!



_____________________________

♥I only need 4 kinds of Animals in My life♥
♥A Jaguar in My garage♥ ♥A Mink on My back♥
♥A few Lions in My bed♥ ♥A Jackass to pay for it all♥

♥~smiles evily~♥

(in reply to wolffeathers)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Poly ONLY works "if" ---> read on - 12/28/2005 5:04:19 PM   
DragonNphoenix


Posts: 248
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

there is only one thing to do with a post like this .....


LMFAO....



I agree... Thank you for the humor.

also ROFLMFAO

Phoenix

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Poly ONLY works "if" ---> read on - 1/3/2006 1:58:21 PM   
Passion357


Posts: 13
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline
Being in a Poly relationship myself, I couldn't have said it better. Hats off to You, Knight, and Yours, Mist!

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Poly ONLY works "if" ---> read on - 1/4/2006 3:15:10 AM   
twistedpyxie


Posts: 18
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline
*smiling*

I love reading threads like this- you read the first post, roll your eyes, and steel yourself for what else people are going to say- and then you read on. But, instead of what you were expecting, what you find is some well thought out, eloquent, intelligent posts that utterly refute what you saw at the beginning.
It's a goooooooood feeling :)


(I'd contribute my own arguments, but so many people have said it already. As far as I'm concerned, the only consistent way to do Poly right is the same as the only consistent way to 'do' any kind of relationships right- with integrity, honesty, respect and communication.)

(in reply to Passion357)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Poly ONLY works "if" ---> read on - 1/7/2006 3:31:29 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 541
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
OK, I read the post and thought it was either a joke or a sad attempt to denounce poly relationships.

IMHO...the only absolute is that everyone is different. Therefore everyone has their own very personal reason for entering the relationship they choose.

After reading the replies and noting that he has yet to return and either clarify or defend his post, I'm curious...has he seen the error of his ways? Or is he still trying to formulate a coherent sentence?

_____________________________

-Tress


"If a woman has to tell you that she's a lady, chances are, she isn't."


(in reply to twistedpyxie)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Poly ONLY works "if" ---> read on - 1/27/2006 3:22:56 PM   
aBraveOldeSoul


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/9/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: widowerDOM

Ive been raised in a poly bi family, and have always been in a poly relationship in one way or another my whole life.
It ONLY works if there is a DOM/sub protocal/dynamic.
There is NO such thing as a co-DOM/Partnership marriage , someone is "more" in control more Dominant thant thee other, and 90% of the time its the Male and his sex drive that makes him the "more Dom" of the two. (( she is in denile ))
second
Humans are inherintly monogamus.& or secretivly jelious & possesive.

You CAN make a poly relationship work if You have 1 Alpha and all the other are pure betas.
You MUST have a well defined set contract , a well written spelled out social-emotioinal-placment/system. leaving nothing un-said.
a co-equil poly relatinship is SOOOOoooooo rare as to be a statisticaly non-realtive to the discussion.
Trully evolved & enlightened beings have universal love, and thus dont need to or wish to marry one person let alone 2 3 or more people.
this means You , the initiator of a poly relationship are not in it for "love" You are in it for selfishness.
Approx 90% of all poly relationships are Male initiated , thought of and promoted by men for one reason "guess" ..so they can get laid by multiple partners with differnat bodies and different sexual services & skills,.
Personality, intellect,social skills, tallent etc..are far secondary to a hot body and a submissive maliable female mind.
Dont kid Yourself , most poly relationships are based ion greed and selfishness in the well decieved lie of "Greater Love".."More Love"...lol...ya right...

To make poly work, its best to be honest .
Hey Pal You want these Women for there body Period !!!
SO,...say to Your female better half ,...You Know the Woman You taught-trained-manipulated and lied too into getting Her into BiSexuality for Your selfish desires..that Woman !!!...lol
Say...--> hey honey..look at this hot little submissive sluty collage student She would make a great slave & sexual 3some addition to the family and be a good big sisiter/baby sitter to the kid's..leave the bull shit higher D/s honor love nobility platitudes behind and You WILL have the poly relationship and all the 3way sex You can stand and MORE !!!
And along the way You mite even learn to love people along the way, to drop Yuo fale persona and You phony pretence and love them behond there body.... and not need to lie to them to serve Your selfish addictions.
Poly Works...but not offten.
Are You Evolving ?
now THIS will get some responces....but is Your responce because i have offended the "lier" in You...if so then dont respond...just go on lieing to Your "loved-used" ones and Yourself.
i am glad to discuss the "Lifestyle" i wont trade insults...lol...come to the table/discussion in naked un-ashamed selfish hedonistic truth and then "its all good"




You Sir are one ignorant little mutt. That has to be the dumbest bunch of pud pullin malarchy I've read in a very long time. You've actually managed to shake my faith in George W as being the dumbest man alive. Now I'm feeling very unsure of myself and which one of you really deserves my vote for the "open mouth and insert a buffalo butt" award. No wonder so many woman are predisposed to having a negative attitude towards those of us that happen to "be" genuinely POLY when there are people like you roaming free admist our society spreading that sorta uninformed, unsubstantiated shoot from the ass bullcrap. As far as what "only works" and what doesn't.... coming from you...the only thing that works is your mouth and obviously what doesn't work is your brain...or your spell check.

(in reply to widowerDOM)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Poly ONLY works "if" ---> read on - 1/27/2006 4:21:01 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 514
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: widowerDOM

IYou CAN make a poly relationship work if You have 1 Alpha


Truer words were never spoken. I'm just a BETA male, and I'm just waiting for my life to EXPLODE into complete homicidal mania, psychotic episodes, knife throwing, taunting, baiting, yelling, screaming, and otherwise total violent chaos.

(in reply to widowerDOM)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Poly ONLY works "if" ---> read on - 1/30/2006 2:09:12 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2326
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Stands looking GA GA at
aBraveOldeSoul
whilst holding My daggar in
hand waiting for cloudboy
to go off and assist Him to
a quick and easy end........



_____________________________

♥I only need 4 kinds of Animals in My life♥
♥A Jaguar in My garage♥ ♥A Mink on My back♥
♥A few Lions in My bed♥ ♥A Jackass to pay for it all♥

♥~smiles evily~♥

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 40
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