RE: Be careful what you wish for.

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RE: Be careful what you wish for. - 2/15/2006 10:34:21 AM

Dracironsgirl

Posts: 175
Joined: 7/2/2005
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....anyone care to go into details with me more ...i will
~krisitin

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RE: Be careful what you wish for. - 2/15/2006 11:02:14 AM

Dracironsgirl

Posts: 175
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whew ok well i'll start it i guess ...well mine goes like this...met Master of my dreams life is good, i get the idea to be totally selfless and pleasing Him will be pleasing me ..so i got Him back with His ex out of pleasing Him motivation convinced them both to start poly together and i would be ok not to live poly too because i am not poly so Master will have it all ...it worked as i had hoped now i'm weighting pros and cons that fantasy is now reality life all i put down all reasons against it ...why i didnt see that before i dont know ..stupidity perhaps but now i'm so glad to have the pleasure of getting those two back together the plan to comlpetely phase myself out is almost complete now LOL ......just a bit late i'd have to say i missed the boat and have myself to thank for it ...next

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RE: Be careful what you wish for. - 2/16/2006 12:59:36 AM

Draciron

Posts: 13
Joined: 12/28/2004
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You might want to consult with me before making assumptions. I said I would "CONSIDER it" and gave you a long list of obstacles to overcome if we were to proceed. I doubt anybody here wants to hear more detail on those issues.

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RE: Be careful what you wish for. - 2/16/2006 4:31:07 AM

DRGMCH

Posts: 12
Joined: 11/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sensualips

At the moment I am wishing for a fudgy brownie, a holiday bonus, and a foot massage.

SensualLips,

I would love a delicious fudge brownie from your beautifull bottom,lol.

< Message edited by DRGMCH -- 2/16/2006 4:35:09 AM >

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RE: Be careful what you wish for. - 2/16/2006 5:30:51 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 634
Joined: 12/2/2004
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quote:

opinions are like...well you know...we all have one...unless you're an alien...is poly hard work?...no harder than any other relationship...why call it hard work?...why call it work at all?...it's three or more people coming together for a common cause...to exist in an environment of their choosing...nothing more...nothing less...if successful...happy happy joy joy...if not...you simply find a way ( and we all do) to move on...the better question is...why does something that can be very simple...always have to be projected as so complicated...

I have to echo this, so perfectly stated. Along with the fact that I totally agree that unrealistic expectations will doom any relationship, not just poly. We have found out that finding submissives that want poly isn't nearly as hard as finding one that "fits" us.

quote:

Oh words to come back to haunt me for eternity it's so true ...why didnt i listen ? never wishing again for daymn sure

Been there, done that... and yeah, it kept me from searching for the "one" for the longest time. But if nothing else... I am persistant. I honestly believe that it's completely possible to love more then one person and to live it daily. I'm thrilled that we have found our girl and I love that my husband can say he loves her too. I don't believe it takes any more effort to make poly work then anything else, it just takes the patience to find the right fit. Like I said, I've experienced the "be careful what you wish for... " and regretted it later... but never say never.. you just never know what the future holds for you.

quote:

....anyone care to go into details with me more ...i will
~krisitin

I'm totally lost here...

Jewel

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RE: Be careful what you wish for. - 2/16/2006 5:51:46 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 2651
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Draciron
You might want to consult with me before making assumptions. I said I would "CONSIDER it" and gave you a long list of obstacles to overcome if we were to proceed. I doubt anybody here wants to hear more detail on those issues.

Actually I'm pretty nosy and would be happy to hear more and help gain perspective on what's going on. DIG is trying to process, work it through mentally and dealing with the prospect. The more you can come to terms with it and understand the pitfalls and glories beforehand, the better the actual experience can be.

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RE: Be careful what you wish for. - 2/16/2006 1:52:25 PM

Draciron

Posts: 13
Joined: 12/28/2004
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Basic status.

For months she has fantasized about posibly doing poly. It to her would be the ultimate sign of devotion and would easily pass step 5 of my collaring requirements. I've vetoed her attempts as it would not be psychologically safe for her to do poly. She had issues with an ex of mine who has shown appareent interst in getting abck with me. Understandble to have these issues. I sat down and explained to her why this ex was not a viable threat to her on emotional, practical and other planes. I got the two talking to each other to show her that once a friend my ex would not dare do anything to harm her. They got along great whcih I figured they would. I had hoped they'd be friends. This would end any jealousy or worries I felt. Well my girl decided my ex was the one to try poly with. She spent hours trying to sell me on the idea. I finally said I'd consider it but brought up the roadblocks. For example that for her to stay in the US I'd have to marry her. This apparently was a big one though she seemed ok with that. I went to sleep leaving it at I would consider it. Then I hear from all over about posts like this one. More of our laundry than I care to have in public. Rather confusing even knowing her as well as I do. So really it is a grain of rice that has become a mountain in a very short time.

As for Poly. I like deep relationships. BDSM is far more than just kinky sex for me. I include strong Nilla elements in a relationship. I am a dude and a Master but romance is NOT excluded by being such. I find nothng wrong in sending flowers to my slave then making her kneel while I flog her later in the day. I hold doors open for ladies and so on. In my opinion not only is BDSM not anti-romance, it actually creates far more intense relationships than is normally possible in nilla world.

So the main reason I have not pursued a Poly relationship is that is very difficult to set up deep dynamics like this with multiples. Poly is very easy to do on a shallower level where the emotions do not run as high. Doing poly on a deep level requires a strong element of compatability between the slaves and it also requires a masterfull juggling act by the Master to care properly for all of the slaves. Failure to do so will reduce the relationship to petty jealousy in a hurry and likely alienate at least one if not all of the slaves. While physical restraits are fun they are really symbolic of the hold that a Master has on a slave's heart. Loosen that hold and a Master has loosened control of that slave. Besides problem dispute resolution is time consuming and irritating. There is an inherent unfairness in that the Master is in charge. No matter what you do in a Poly relationship there will seem to be some inequeity between the treatment of the slaves to the slaves. A certain level of fairness is necessary and objectivity as well. This is not to address the percieved inequities but to address the safety and welfare of the slaves involved. Without a high level of compatibility that is not possible in my opinon.

Anyway that is the drama that has spewed onto these forums.

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