RE: How to introduce poly to a vanilla . . .

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RE: How to introduce poly to a vanilla . . . - 10/14/2005 5:36:16 PM

ShadowMster

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Joined: 7/14/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: amazonlea

I am a firm believer that poly folks should not have relationships with monogamous folks. Everyone ends up hurt.

So what do you call a relationship of two people seeking a 3rd? Just because they seek a 3rd, doesn't make them any less monogamous. In fact, there are poly relationships with 3 or even 4 that are totally monogamous within the relationship. (yes, I know some define monogamous as only 1 mate. In the context I use it as only 1 relationship, or in otherwords, not screwing around).

In fact, I know of a tri that considers themselves monogamous (and use that word for it) because they only have sex with each other and nothing outside the group (they say it's 1 relationship with three people taking part).

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RE: How to introduce poly to a vanilla . . . - 10/14/2005 7:46:30 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3610
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadowMster
In fact, I know of a tri that considers themselves monogamous (and use that word for it) because they only have sex with each other and nothing outside the group (they say it's 1 relationship with three people taking part).

The term usually heard is "closed polyamorous."

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RE: How to introduce poly to a vanilla . . . - 10/15/2005 8:02:26 AM

ChereeAmoor

Posts: 184
Joined: 8/1/2005
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I have heard it called "polyfidelity" as well. We are in a closed triad, for example, which to us means all 3 of us are the Only Ones.

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RE: How to introduce poly to a vanilla . . . - 10/15/2005 9:21:11 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 371
Joined: 7/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadowMster

So what do you call a relationship of two people seeking a 3rd? Just because they seek a 3rd, doesn't make them any less monogamous.

Umm, yes, it does make them non-monogamous. Monogamous is two people. But, poly does not mean less faithful or mean less fidelity.

quote:

monogamous:

Noun
1. The practice or condition of having a single sexual partner during a period of time. 2. a. The practice or condition of being married to only one person at a time. b. The practice of marrying only once in a lifetime.

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Bobbi

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RE: How to introduce poly to a vanilla . . . - 10/16/2005 7:57:48 PM

amazonlea

Posts: 28
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Yeah, I have heard closed relationship myself. Fluid bonded is used sometimes too, though that doesn't really indicate the 'closed' thing. Dunno, but I don't call it monogamous... mono being one,.. does gamous mean 'love'?

Sorry, must be past my bedtime.
B

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RE: How to introduce poly to a vanilla . . . - 10/21/2005 9:10:05 AM

Prunesquallor

Posts: 134
Joined: 10/12/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: amazonlea

Dunno, but I don't call it monogamous... mono being one,.. does gamous mean 'love'?

Yes, almost. I believe 'Gamos' is a Greek word meaning 'marriage'. Sometimes used in the phrase 'Heiros gamos' - mystical marriage.

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RE: How to introduce poly to a vanilla . . . - 10/21/2005 11:54:34 AM

BDRAGON321

Posts: 1
Joined: 11/10/2004
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Being poly requires all to be honest and open. Just have an honest talk with this person. Tell them of your relationship with each other. Let them know why you want them to be part of your lives. If they need time to think it over (give it to them). Some poly groups have the females talk first to test the waters but what ever feels good to you is what you need to do.

Mr B

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RE: How to introduce poly to a vanilla . . . - 11/3/2005 1:09:03 PM

SirSix72

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Joined: 7/14/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedjulia

First of all, drop the W/we crap. it's hard on the eyes.

Second of all I wouldn't involve someone from outside the lifestyle. If they are on here then great, if they are vanilla then I really don't want to give them any cause for concern or make them think i'm off my head!

To me, the journey into BDSM is something that a person needs to make themselves not something that can be brought up in your local vanilla venue.

Actually I have lots of vanillia's that come into my nightclub that are interested in BDSM...I have a dungeon room here and I cant count on my fingers and toes the times when I have shown it to them on a tour that they all wanted to play in it and learn something from within the BDSM lifestyle or Gorean lifestyle......educating others that are interested is its own reward for me....I have to agree with the get rid of the W/we things it hurts my eyes as well....

Master Six

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RE: How to introduce poly to a vanilla . . . - 11/3/2005 2:27:45 PM

lonewolf05

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
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[/quote]

It just annoys the HELL out of me. I'm afraid thats the bitch in me coming out.

[/quote]
==========

lmao

tsk tsk..naughty naughty....temper temper
giggle

< Message edited by lonewolf05 -- 11/3/2005 2:28:13 PM >

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RE: How to introduce poly to a vanilla . . . - 11/16/2005 4:52:12 PM

WildSpirit2001

Posts: 143
Joined: 8/30/2005
From: Colorado
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quote:

Addendum: Who cares how she types. If she wants to put W/we, If She Wants To Capitalize The First Letter Of Every Word, if she wanted to write in Russian, it's her preference. She is asking questions she would like help with, not looking for critique on typing etiquette. Get over it people and focus on her problem, not yours. The soapbox is now free.

Thank you ... you saved me the effort!

Live, Love, Laugh
Paula

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Post #: 30