RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters?

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RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters?

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RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/24/2005 9:21:06 AM

Kiaban

Posts: 119
Joined: 7/11/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingmaster45

quote:

I for one am the seeker as even though my slaves know what I want and need ..the screening process goes through me..

I am with MstrHellsFury on this one.

Everytime i see a "slave"lol, asking for a "sister", I think ; "Oh my he is so clueless he needs to have a woman do his trolling for him."

Maybe it is just me; but like Fury, I see this as a weakness in the dominant. If he is in charge, what the hell is the sub doing trolling?

First: A slave having "asking for a sister" on her profile simply describes what "they" are looking for and doesn't imply trolling. It may well offend you that some people include thier submissives in the process when finding a suitable 3rd, but perhaps they may find things you do or think to be "weak".
Second: "if he is in charge,what is the sub doing....." even if she is trolling and not simply stateing in her profile thier desire for a 3rd she is doing what she told [damn sounds like D/s].
Third: With so many Players out there, some of which don't even clue thier sub/slave in on what they are doing, many women find it comforting to be able to speak and get to know this person that is going to be 1/3 of the triad and find out if the dom is even being honest.
Fourth: well actually was going to put 4 and 5 but in reality if you think it is weak for a girl to honestly put on her profile what the couple is seeking logic is not going to be well recieved.

Kiaban

(in reply to lovingmaster45)

Post #: 41

RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/24/2005 10:42:45 AM

IronBear

Posts: 2678
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingmaster45

quote:

I for one am the seeker as even though my slaves know what I want and need ..the screening process goes through me..

I am with MstrHellsFury on this one.

Everytime i see a "slave"lol, asking for a "sister", I think ; "Oh my he is so clueless he needs to have a woman do his trolling for him."

Maybe it is just me; but like Fury, I see this as a weakness in the dominant. If he is in charge, what the hell is the sub doing trolling?

To start with a girl in my collar (House or Personal) would have to ask me if I would agree with her having a chain sister. Assuming I agreed, then I would also tell her to commence the search for someone suitable and if successful, the new girl has to meet with my criteria and approval. Certainly I could search myself but in the long run, its just as likely that she has already an eye on someone. Even if this is not the case, I’d be happy to delegate the initial search to her. Simply put she probably would have more contacts than I would. I’ve seen a few profiles where the trik has posted that she and her Master are looking for a suitable chain sister for her. If your Gorean, the trik in your collar will probably become the “first girl” with all the authority in any case. There is no way I can see this as being weak. Smart maybe, even displaying strength by allowing her to put together a list of potential candidates.

_____________________________

Be Well
Iron Bear

Master of House Iron Bear

Yes, I am a Master, but not your Master..........

The Incorrigible, irrepressible, irreverent grizzly

(in reply to lovingmaster45)

Post #: 42

RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/24/2005 1:37:52 PM

shydesiresMaster

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/23/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: imtempting

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrHellsFury

most submissives want to connect with the slave first...strange to wonder on that one as the decision as to whatever activity falls on me not them...go figure...

Fury

Ok First off the person looking would want to know how the girl is, her attitude, why she is doing? ( please her Dominant etc ) Also something else which noone I belive has said is if they are attracted to the submissive sexually?? This can be looks for some people aswell as their personality.

Well said. The girl must be inviting to My girl as much as she is to Me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingmaster45

quote:

I for one am the seeker as even though my slaves know what I want and need ..the screening process goes through me..

I am with MstrHellsFury on this one.

Everytime i see a "slave"lol, asking for a "sister", I think ; "Oh my he is so clueless he needs to have a woman do his trolling for him."

Maybe it is just me; but like Fury, I see this as a weakness in the dominant. If he is in charge, what the hell is the sub doing trolling?

It doesn't matter, I am not into others peoples judgements.
My girl obeys Me, tis all I require of her.

< Message edited by shydesiresMaster -- 7/24/2005 1:46:18 PM >

(in reply to imtempting)

Post #: 43

RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/24/2005 1:43:47 PM

shydesiresMaster

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/23/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

To start with a girl in my collar (House or Personal) would have to ask me if I would agree with her having a chain sister. Assuming I agreed, then I would also tell her to commence the search for someone suitable and if successful, the new girl has to meet with my criteria and approval. Certainly I could search myself but in the long run, its just as likely that she has already an eye on someone. Even if this is not the case, I’d be happy to delegate the initial search to her. Simply put she probably would have more contacts than I would. I’ve seen a few profiles where the trik has posted that she and her Master are looking for a suitable chain sister for her. If your Gorean, the trik in your collar will probably become the “first girl” with all the authority in any case. There is no way I can see this as being weak. Smart maybe, even displaying strength by allowing her to put together a list of potential candidates.

Indeed, well stated IronBear.

< Message edited by shydesiresMaster -- 7/24/2005 1:49:43 PM >

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 44

RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/25/2005 2:31:41 AM

MasterJandbobcat

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/1/2005
Status: offline

To Master's Kiaban and IronBear,
This girl would like to thank you for your words of wisdom and cant figure out why anyone would think any girl slave or otherwise would would be happy in a situation that she was put into a house with another girl she had no say over or help picking and told here this is the situation now make the best of it. This girl for 1 would love nothing more in this world than a sister/second in her life but as has already been proven here if the chemestry between the girls is not right it creates tension and havoc things no one wants to live with. If the girl helps in this process it seriously reduces the risk of failure....LOGIC? in this girls humble opinion yes it is logical to have the girl seek the second girl.
Just my humble opinion
faith
Written with Masters blessings

(in reply to shydesiresMaster)

Post #: 45

RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/25/2005 8:04:42 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 371
Joined: 7/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavedesires

[
This is what irks me about your thoughts on this..... I pose it with a question....
do you not know, understand, comprehend that it is not soley done by a woman? The man/Dom has more input into the this search than you think he has....He is not some mindless weak and pathetic man who guides, directs, pushes and demands His girl write what she writes, read allthe replies, tell the girl who to write and what to write.
Your irk assumes the Dom has absolutely NO control. Oh dear, how so wrong you are!!

Who knows the Dom better than the girl who has already placed her entire being in the hands of that Dom but thegirl who desires a friend, companion, confidant who will serve right along side of her?

Like Master, I ALSO desire a girl.... it is not just a Dom who might desire.
You will sell yourself short if you do not allow a freindship to develope between you and the first girl. If there is no freindship and you refuse to allow the other girl to be a part of your life, will the Dom want you?

I didn't say the Dom had no control and I didn't say it was done solely by a woman. I said that MY OPINION was that it shows that he can't be bothered with the process because he has someone else doing it.

And no.....I don't believe that all subs are the best judge of their Doms. Several years ago, I was approached by a sub who was sent forth by her Dominant to find another sub. She went on and on about how wonderful he was. I told her the same thingI stated above, that unless he contacted me there would be no conversations about it.

A month and a half later, I received an email from the same submissive. Her Dominant had beaten her, fisted her bare handed with a ring on and put her in the hospital. She required 52 stitches and a couple of nights in ICU. When she got out of the hospital, she pretty much went into hiding. It took an amazing amount of convincing to get her to testify against him.

Turns out that "Dom" was a serial rapist. He went on to rape 6 women in 8 months. It was his third strike. The women he raped had done everything right. They met for coffee in a public place. Their mistake was walking over to his car to see the puppy he claimed to have.

You may feel that you know your Dom better than anyone, but can you honestly say that about every sub with a profile on here looking for a sister sub?

_____________________________

Bobbi

(in reply to slavedesires)

Post #: 46

RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/25/2005 9:11:50 AM

stormsfate

Posts: 846
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

What I'm finding odd is why people seem to have such strong feelings one way or the other. (This isn't in response to you in particular OsideGirl...I just clicked fast reply.) Why does it matter who has first contact? One would hope that at some point in the early stages of the relationship, all parties would be introduced, speak and get to know one another before any type of relationship would be considered (at least in situations where everyone will be involved with each other to whatever extent).

My owner happened to meet vision first, but within a week, she and I were spending a LOT of time together talking and hanging out. It could just have easily been myself who met her first, but the end result was that she had to be a good fit and it was my owner who decided whether or not she was.

I find it curious that we even put forth the energy to worry about how other people do it to the extent of even forming opinions about their character, and to see something like this as a weakness really defies my comprehension. I guess there's nothing like making snap judgments about the character of total strangers based upon one thing....go figure.

You've got one side who says the girl should always make first contact for whatever reason and then you've got the side who says the dominant should always do it. You've got girls who won't speak to other girls first, and then you've got girls who won't speak to a dominant first. It just seems to me like as long as the end result is everyone meeting...who cares who talks first?

Add just this one thing into the mix and it makes the process of actually finding another partner even more difficult and daunting that many people already find it to be.

best regards,
fate

_____________________________

Storm1206 - Author of my dark desires...Owner of my soul.

stormsvision - chainsister and partner in crime.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 47

RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/25/2005 9:49:07 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 371
Joined: 7/1/2005
Status: offline

Good point Fate. Ideally, I think that both should be active in the search. I'd want to talk to both. I'm not saying that I'd never want to talk to her or know her. But, I feel for my safety and happiness, I need to have contact with the one weidling power.

There is a Dominant that has his submissive on this website looking for a sister sub/slave. The reality is that he has her looking for her own replacement. He intends on releasing her as soon as one is found. He thinks it's funny. I think he's a piece of shit. She thinks he is the most wonderful, incredible, gentle and loving Master in the world.

I dare anyone to try and figure out which profile belongs to her.

_____________________________

Bobbi

(in reply to stormsfate)

Post #: 48

RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/26/2005 6:31:51 AM

JerryInTampa

Posts: 71
Joined: 2/19/2004
Status: offline

As mentioned, there is something ot a predisposition afainst m/f/f groups... mostly beccuase when you get "greedy monogomous" it's usually a guy looking for that.

Much like the lesbian tendancy to dislike bi girls as "not real lesbians".

To your question, I know that I've taken some umbrege at some of the profiels of girls seeking sisters. The problems vary but here are some common ones.

"I'm looking for a girl for my master" - posted in a profile with no description of her partner, no pictures of her partner, listed as "girl" not "couple". If you are looking for a slave for your owner, it's him that the potential should be talking about more than you. If you are looking for a play partner of your own (my noel had at one point a partner of her own), that's different.

Sometimes these are guys pretending to be girls to get responses. The girl in question may have to (sadly) leave her owner (though no fault of his own of-course) before meeting. But he's such a great guy, the new girl will want him anyway.

Sometimes this is just a lazy guy who "wants a free piece of ass" and thinks that a good D/s order is "go find me more women to screw".

There are others, but the long and the short of it is that I would like to see couples listed as couples. Even with individual profiles, I respond poorly to coming across profiles with 10 pics of a girl that says at the bottom (seeking for my dom).

As to why so many girls don't respond to men writing but will respond to women writing (I've seen the same thing with myself and my noel), I'm not sure. Some are simply fake (men posing as women looking for naughty talk online), but beyond that I have no idea.

(in reply to slaveDreamer69)

Post #: 49

RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/26/2005 7:53:11 PM

domtimothy46176

Posts: 636
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Central Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

domtimothy,

you are so eloquent with the written word and I am terrible trying to put my feelings into words. By your post I can tell you are not understanding me at all. I mean just making friends. Not with an eye towards any possiblities , not viewing them as a candidate. Have you ever thought about having people give you input on your profile?

Congratulations on your new addition :)

kiss

I think perhaps I have failed to accurately portray my position. We are always open to making new friends. We welcome the possibility of expanding our circle of lifestyle friends, both in person and through online introduction. We don't simply seek to get to know folks as a subterfuge. We're generally interested in making friends with like-minded individuals.
Having said that, it is also my feeling that the next submissive to join our house will most likely be someone who started as a friend. Our expanding pool of friends is the most likely source of an additional servant for the house because I will not be rushed. I like to get to know everything about a submissive before I even begin to weigh issues concerning possible compatibility.
I hope that clarifies things, somewhat.
Timothy

_____________________________

*DISCLAIMER* The above consitutes the thoughts, opinions and actions
of the author. No warranty is expressed or implied. Read at your own risk.

Body jewelry and more at wholesale prices
http://stores.ebay.com/T-and-J-Enterprises

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 50

RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/28/2005 4:05:41 PM

slaveDreamer69

Posts: 3
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

slavedesires

i totally agree with you
Master wants me to find girls because ultimately He does not want a drama show on His hands. He wants us slaves to be abl to interact and get along with each other so that us serving Him together is smooth and functional without all the hassle and headaches. why do other slaves not see the logistics in that and what point is there to call Him weak.

slavedreamer

(in reply to slavedesires)

Post #: 51

RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/28/2005 4:21:33 PM

slaveDreamer69

Posts: 3
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

lovingmaster45

i do not seek slaves without his permission. the thing is he works during the day i take care of the house. during the day i search to talk to slaves and such. when he gets home i need to tell him who i talked to and what about. he then HIMSELF continues from there talking to them when he is home. i just make initial contact with the ones i feel (like slavedesires states) i would mostly likely be compatible with. Master and i have a polyrelationship and any females who join must live with Him and i. if there is a slave i do not like but he does, then i must accept that. if there is a slave i like but he doesnt, then i stop talking to her. he makes all decisions, i just make initial contact cause those same slaves that talk to me, dont message him back saying they would rather talk to a slave.

slavedreamer

(in reply to lovingmaster45)

Post #: 52

RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/31/2005 5:09:40 PM

aithinneDdT

Posts: 3
Joined: 7/24/2005
Status: offline

My Master just pulls girls in, i don't know that either of us do any kind of active search. Although once He makes it known that He is looking at her as a potential sister, i delve into her and find out all that i can. i have looked for girls for our online Home in my role as fg of the Home and fg of His personal girls as well. i don't know that it really matters either way.. Both of us get to knowt he girl well and see if she is a good fit. Does first contact really matter?

And also.. i know a lot of girls that will look for the sisters so that they weed through the bs'ers and gamers so that the Master doesn't have to deal with it.

just my two cents.

_____________________________

Held in the perfect embrace of slavery. He captured my heart, kissed my imagination and marked my soul.

(in reply to slaveDreamer69)

Post #: 53

RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/31/2005 6:38:20 PM

LRODANDMASTER

Posts: 89
Joined: 7/13/2005
Status: offline

YEA I AGREE ITS A LOT EASIER WHEN THE MASTER (LIKE ME) JUST NATURLY ATTRACKS FEMALES

quote:

ORIGINAL: aithinneDdT

My Master just pulls girls in

_____________________________

LRODANDMASTER TYPE LIKE DUMASS BUT HIM NO DUMASS

(in reply to aithinneDdT)

Post #: 54

RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 8/2/2005 9:22:43 AM

Masternhiskitten

Posts: 4
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline

Master and i have been searching for a bi female sub or domme or switch and have found it extremely difficult.... W/we messaged a few on here and do not get replies... although in their profiles they state that they are interested in poly and are bi... Master says there are many "fakes" and when it comes down to a m/f/f situation they do not want to be the "other sub/slave"... but the reality of it is this.... when there is a poly relationship the Master should love all sub/slaves equally as well as the sub/slaves loving each other as well... i think there is a stronger need for trust in this type of relationship because of so many hearts in play.

i must admit that the thought of having another sub/slave with us fulltime scared me and made me feel a bit jealous at first but the more i spoke to Master about it the more at ease i became... it would be wonderful having someone to talk to and to share my feelings as a sub/slave. also having help with running the house would be nice too *giggles*

i think that anyone interested in a poly relationship should go into it with a very open mind and try to set aside any preconceptions they might have... each relationship is different whether it be poly or not.... LOVE is the main thing that matters... and there is always plenty of love to go around...

sorry for the rambling... lol

~kisses~
love,
kitten

(in reply to slavedesires)

Post #: 55

RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 8/2/2005 10:19:05 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3610
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Masternhiskitten

Master and i have been searching for a bi female sub or domme or switch and have found it extremely difficult.... W/we messaged a few on here and do not get replies... although in their profiles they state that they are interested in poly and are bi... Master says there are many "fakes" and when it comes down to a m/f/f situation they do not want to be the "other sub/slave"... but the reality of it is this.... when there is a poly relationship the Master should love all sub/slaves equally as well as the sub/slaves loving each other as well... i think there is a stronger need for trust in this type of relationship because of so many hearts in play.

Or you might be messaging the wrong people, or they don't find you attractive. It's easy to say "Oh they are just players and fakes" but just because someone is bi, poly, and available, doesn't mean they will be interested in you.

quote:

LOVE is the main thing that matters... and there is always plenty of love to go around...

sorry for the rambling... lol

~kisses~
love,
kitten

Actually I consider love to be one of the least important things. Love usually takes care of itself and it's one of the easier things to identify in relationships.

It's the messy baggage, life issues, relationship styles, etc which have to be worked out.

(in reply to Masternhiskitten)

Post #: 56

RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 8/2/2005 2:34:30 PM

Masternhiskitten

Posts: 4
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline

Emerald... you raise very good points as far as the "interest" goes.... i guess when i commented i wasn't as clear as i could have been... i wasn't insinuating that everyone that i messaged were "fakes"... i guess it's just that if someone messages me and i am not interested i simply message them back thanking them for the message and tell them i am not interested... seems like the polite thing to do... but again that is just me...

as far as "love" goes... i find (and this is just a novice point of view) that love makes it easier for me to trust... if i truly care for the person i am with then i find it much easier to open up sexually and mentally... but again i am very new in this lifestyle and always learning new things about myself and the lifestyle itself... and regarding the baggage, etc... yeah that's always an issue in itself... lol... drama = problems... problems = trouble.

thank you so much for your insight and if you happen to have any advice for a newbie sub then by all means toss it my way!! *winks*
~kisses~
love,
kitten

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 57

RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 8/2/2005 8:38:05 PM

cpl2spoilu

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline

First off...the initial question is somewhat in line with mine so I thought I might just add to the thread.

I have never yet experienced to my conscious knowledge any act with regards to the lifestyle (submissive or dominantly). I know I have needs/desires that fall under both traits (what you describe as a switch). I have a man (who I basically consider "my master"; the one I ache to please). I also recently determined that I like woman and definitely want to have the opportunity to be with one, so we discussed the option of a 3rd. We have now been approached by a bi-fem sub who has never even been with a man. She has stated her desires are to have a female domme and that she is also interested in our offer of a "poly" relationship. With all that said...am I completely out of my mind to think that I could fulfill the role of being her domme at the same time as making it understood she would be somewhat like a "sister" to me from his point of view?

Please be kind...as I said at the beginning I am just now finding out and accepting that this is the path I want to tread. I'm reading and learing as fast as I can...but any experienced advice would be appreciated. Thank you

(in reply to slavedesires)

Post #: 58

RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 8/2/2005 9:51:56 PM

domtimothy46176

Posts: 636
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Central Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Masternhiskitten

as far as "love" goes... i find (and this is just a novice point of view) that love makes it easier for me to trust... if i truly care for the person i am with then i find it much easier to open up sexually and mentally... but again i am very new in this lifestyle and always learning new things about myself and the lifestyle itself... and regarding the baggage, etc... yeah that's always an issue in itself... lol... drama = problems... problems = trouble.

kitten

While I do believe I understand the internal proccesses that are at work behind such a viewpoint, it does make me wonder. In my own experiences, I've come to the conclusion that it's best to keep emotional reaction firmly in check until I'm reasonably assured of compatability across the spectrum because it increases the liklihood that I'll trust someone I shouldn't and open myself more than is good for me before I know her well enough to know she's a good match.
To me, this is a much safer way of doing business. Yet I have seen many who post about how important "love" is in developing trust without any mention of the relationship between word and action. It seems to me that trust based on love is a recipe for disaster. Love is not always rational and sometimes has nothing to do with the character of the person loved. I've lost count of how many times I've heard or read of someone saying "He's a complete asshole (or a liar or a cheat or abusive), but I love him, I can't help myself".
Trust, IMO, should be based on seeing someone consistently remain true to who and what they claim to be, in word and action. As I have defined it, trust would understandably be something that took some time to develop, although I'm sure we've all met some people who seem to inspire trust immediately. Even so, I think self-preservation should dictate that we take the time to know whether someone is trustworthy, or not. Allowing emotion to interfere with what I believe needs to be a calculated decision seem incredibly imprudent.
Timothy

_____________________________

*DISCLAIMER* The above consitutes the thoughts, opinions and actions
of the author. No warranty is expressed or implied. Read at your own risk.

Body jewelry and more at wholesale prices
http://stores.ebay.com/T-and-J-Enterprises

(in reply to Masternhiskitten)

Post #: 59

RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 8/3/2005 4:07:16 AM

Masternhiskitten

Posts: 4
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domtimothy46176

As I have defined it, trust would understandably be something that took some time to develop, although I'm sure we've all met some people who seem to inspire trust immediately. Even so, I think self-preservation should dictate that we take the time to know whether someone is trustworthy, or not. Allowing emotion to interfere with what I believe needs to be a calculated decision seem incredibly imprudent.
Timothy

Thank You Sir for Your comment...

i guess perhaps the reason i use LOVE as a basis for trust is because of the fact that i do not trust so easily... i usually start with a very low level of trust for someone until they themselves open up to me... i have been hurt so many times by people simply by trusting them too much too soon. i tend to be a very open person and allow people in too easily... so by learning from mistakes made in the past i have now learned to listen to my head rather than my heart... my heart is very nieve and opens itself up to trust entirely too easily while my head seems to think more rationally. Having love in a relationship does take time and what You said about love taking time to develop i completely agree... i think that when i mentioned "love" what i actually meant or should have said was the possibility of love... or perhaps a strong feeling that would lead to love.... i know that obviously there isn't love straight from the beginning in any relationship and that is something that does have to grow... however without that strong attraction there wouldn't be a relationship starting at all... so i guess what it all boils down to, for me anyways, is that special chemistry between me and the Master i am with... and i am not speaking of a physical attraction either... i am speaking more on the lines of a mental attraction. The questions i ask myself are: Can i be dominated by this Man? Can He control my rebellious side? Do i feel as though i can trust Him or can that trust grow? Is He the type of man whom i can see myself serving unconditionally? and of course there are many more but i will not bore You with them... those are merely examples.

and now i've rambled long enough... i'm sorry...

again i thank You for Your comments and take them with me on my journey through my new life.

~kisses~
love,
kitten

< Message edited by Masternhiskitten -- 8/3/2005 4:21:11 AM >

(in reply to domtimothy46176)

Post #: 60

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