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RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/21/2005 8:04:46 PM

kisshou

Posts: 704
Joined: 2/11/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrHellsFury

that's what I meant...they overlook what you have to say and go right to what they want from you...what ever happened to establishing a friendship first...

**applauds and whistles**

yes! exactly!

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RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/21/2005 8:35:07 PM

domtimothy46176

Posts: 636
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Central Indiana
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

with all respect MstrHellsFury but I did not understand at all what you were saying in reply to my post. I was saying that no one is looking to make friends first.

It's my experience that submissives and dominants can be equally impatient. I mentored a girl who would be prepared to relocate across the country within the first week of intial contact. No matter how much I counselled her to take the time to get to know people, she never would listen. Eventually she moved in with a couple after 4 days' conversation and a single face-to-face meeting.
We always seek to first establish conversation with the intent of making friends and, of course, with an eye toward possibly adding the right girl to our household. We've yet to get a response. Even so it's better than having a succession of not-right candidates waste our time with head games so I'll not complain too stridently.
You might trying looking at like I do: Every disappointment is one catastrophe avoided.
Best of luck,
Timothy

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RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/22/2005 5:20:58 AM

kisshou

Posts: 704
Joined: 2/11/2005
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domtimothy,

you are so eloquent with the written word and I am terrible trying to put my feelings into words. By your post I can tell you are not understanding me at all. I mean just making friends. Not with an eye towards any possiblities , not viewing them as a candidate. Have you ever thought about having people give you input on your profile?

Congratulations on your new addition :)

kiss

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RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/22/2005 5:43:16 AM

slavedesires

Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

domtimothy,

you are so eloquent with the written word and I am terrible trying to put my feelings into words. By your post I can tell you are not understanding me at all. I mean just making friends. Not with an eye towards any possiblities , not viewing them as a candidate. Have you ever thought about having people give you input on your profile?

Congratulations on your new addition :)

kiss

Kiss...you confuse me..... this is a thread about finding the the second sub...and how a dom and sub goes about finding the said sub.

There are variations to the appraoch.......no one has said that making freinds with the new said sub is NOT important....infact, it is important to both dom and sub; its just each relationship goes about it differently.

Are you talking about making freinds with a dom and sub with never an intent to join their 2some to make it a threesome?...... that is just another play partner in my book, not a poly household............... correct me if i am stupid.

and kiss, your words can be very eloquent at times....

~~shy

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RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/22/2005 7:24:53 AM

kisshou

Posts: 704
Joined: 2/11/2005
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I think that people who want to end up in a m/f/f relationship where all three of the people are lovers should just be looking to make friends with others first, with no other intentions. That the poly relations with that dynamic just end up happening as a next step in the friendship. If it does not end up happening , you have still made a bunch of great friends. I don't think you can develop a friendship with a goal in mind. If you try to, you will miss out on making alot of great friends and the chance of a relationship naturally occuring. I am really frustrated trying to put this in words but since I am on a roll here I might as well say what else is bothering me. I see over and over girls who state they will have sex with another girl to please their Master. (as a girl who really enjoys/craves sleeping with other girls, i think that is wrong)

I have tried making friends with others on here so either I am really unlikeable(which could be true but I don't give much weight to since they wont even take the time to get to know me) or once people hear 'just friends' they don't want to be bothered.

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RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/22/2005 7:46:08 AM

LaMspeach

Posts: 126
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

I think that people who want to end up in a m/f/f relationship where all three of the people are lovers should just be looking to make friends with others first, with no other intentions. That the poly relations with that dynamic just end up happening as a next step in the friendship. If it does not end up happening , you have still made a bunch of great friends. I don't think you can develop a friendship with a goal in mind. If you try to, you will miss out on making alot of great friends and the chance of a relationship naturally occuring. I am really frustrated trying to put this in words but since I am on a roll here I might as well say what else is bothering me. I see over and over girls who state they will have sex with another girl to please their Master. (as a girl who really enjoys/craves sleeping with other girls, i think that is wrong)

I have tried making friends with others on here so either I am really unlikeable(which could be true but I don't give much weight to since they wont even take the time to get to know me) or once people hear 'just friends' they don't want to be bothered.

Kiss, it is extremely hard to find a sister sub/slave. It doesn't matter much if you are looking for a friend or a someone to join your relationship. i have gone about it both ways, started out as friends, talked for a few weeks only to find out that they were lying about most everything. Tried to interview process and they wanted to be just friends. Yes they all know we were looking for another slave to join our relationship up front.

I dont think it has anything to do with you. You seem to be a very likeable person.
It take all kinds of people to make the world go around, be patient, i am sure you will find what you need when the time is right . Good Luck

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RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/22/2005 7:46:45 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 371
Joined: 7/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveDreamer69

Why are people offended by me being a slave, trying to contact and get conversations going with other slaves?

There are a number reasons why this irks me. I think it shows laziness on the part Dominant, that they can't be bothered to be involved. Most of the irks follow along this line.

But, my biggest irk has been.....when you're becoming involved with a Dominant, you're literally putting your life into their hands. While it's important to know all the dynamics of a relationship, I'm more concerned about knowing about the person who can tie me up, silence me and make me helpless. I don't want to talk to the sub first, I want to talk to the Dom first. If the Dom and I don't fit, the rest will never work.

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RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/22/2005 4:22:15 PM

blackwolf99

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Joined: 3/15/2005
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My only pet peeve with subs looking for sister (or brothers) is that they tend to show up alot in the submissive listings when I am running my own search for a sub. It seem that you would want to advertise where a sub looking for a Top would have a better chance of seeing it . Maybe there should be a seperate search criteria such as Dominate, Submissive, and Subs seeking Subs. This way Doms dont have to wade through them, and subs would better hit their target audience. For the record I am also poly, and a supporter of poly relations, I just dont see it as effiecient way of finding what one is looking for
Ed

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RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/22/2005 6:46:07 PM

teapaw

Posts: 97
Joined: 5/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

what is really disappointing is that if you are a bi poly slave, who states they are just looking to make friends with others, they are completely ignored. This never makes any sense to me but happens all the time.

I am also a poly slave looking to just make friends and off they go...no one else seems to want to make friends....thats the only reason I am here to talk to others...Im not looking and I have a wonderful Master and a great sister slave..we dont want anything more.....
hugs to you kisshou
pamela

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RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/22/2005 7:10:25 PM

blackwolf99

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Joined: 3/15/2005
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quote:

I am sure you called blackwolf a Ma'am by accident

Its the long hair and earpiercings, it confusses alot of people *wink*

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RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/23/2005 1:12:28 AM

MadameG

Posts: 8
Joined: 2/10/2005
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Thta is another whole topic in itself, under dishonest dominants. Our girls know when we are looking and they take place in the looking and screening process. We went through a whole bunch of bad fits before we decided to have the Alpha look for one to fit and work with her. We had final say. It worked out well for all involved,mainly by eliminaitng the jelousy factor.

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RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/23/2005 7:41:18 AM

slavedesires

Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

I think that people who want to end up in a m/f/f relationship where all three of the people are lovers should just be looking to make friends with others first, with no other intentions. That the poly relations with that dynamic just end up happening as a next step in the friendship. If it does not end up happening , you have still made a bunch of great friends. I don't think you can develop a friendship with a goal in mind. If you try to, you will miss out on making alot of great friends and the chance of a relationship naturally occuring. I am really frustrated trying to put this in words but since I am on a roll here I might as well say what else is bothering me. I see over and over girls who state they will have sex with another girl to please their Master. (as a girl who really enjoys/craves sleeping with other girls, i think that is wrong)

I have tried making friends with others on here so either I am really unlikeable(which could be true but I don't give much weight to since they wont even take the time to get to know me) or once people hear 'just friends' they don't want to be bothered.

yes I do agree 100% kiss.

Tis a journey of unknown destination.

But sometimes there is a goal in mind. Without goals in life...what sort of aimless wondering journey might it be?

~~Shy

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....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

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RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/23/2005 7:57:35 AM

slavedesires

Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

There are a number reasons why this irks me. I think it shows laziness on the part Dominant, that they can't be bothered to be involved. Most of the irks follow along this line.

This is what irks me about your thoughts on this..... I pose it with a question....
do you not know, understand, comprehend that it is not soley done by a woman? The man/Dom has more input into the this search than you think he has....He is not some mindless weak and pathetic man who guides, directs, pushes and demands His girl write what she writes, read allthe replies, tell the girl who to write and what to write.
Your irk assumes the Dom has absolutely NO control. Oh dear, how so wrong you are!!

quote:

But, my biggest irk has been.....when you're becoming involved with a Dominant, you're literally putting your life into their hands. While it's important to know all the dynamics of a relationship, I'm more concerned about knowing about the person who can tie me up, silence me and make me helpless. I don't want to talk to the sub first, I want to talk to the Dom first. If the Dom and I don't fit, the rest will never work.

Who knows the Dom better than the girl who has already placed her entire being in the hands of that Dom but thegirl who desires a friend, companion, confidant who will serve right along side of her?

Like Master, I ALSO desire a girl.... it is not just a Dom who might desire.
You will sell yourself short if you do not allow a freindship to develope between you and the first girl. If there is no freindship and you refuse to allow the other girl to be a part of your life, will the Dom want you?

Over a year ago i was approached by several Doms on this board who when i asked does your girl know you are seeking to add another girl....would ignore me if i said i really want to be freinds with her, or they said NO she does not know but will later....what the f**k kind of trust is that?
And they even continued to approached me after i said i was owned.

~~shy

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

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RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/23/2005 8:03:15 AM

slavedesires

Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameG

Thta is another whole topic in itself, under dishonest dominants. Our girls know when we are looking and they take place in the looking and screening process. We went through a whole bunch of bad fits before we decided to have the Alpha look for one to fit and work with her. We had final say. It worked out well for all involved,mainly by eliminaitng the jelousy factor.

Oh yes MadameG...you have hit the nail on the head...thank you!

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RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/23/2005 8:10:20 AM

wolfsprincess

Posts: 18
Joined: 9/25/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

I think that people who want to end up in a m/f/f relationship where all three of the people are lovers should just be looking to make friends with others first, with no other intentions. That the poly relations with that dynamic just end up happening as a next step in the friendship. If it does not end up happening , you have still made a bunch of great friends. I don't think you can develop a friendship with a goal in mind. If you try to, you will miss out on making alot of great friends and the chance of a relationship naturally occuring. I am really frustrated trying to put this in words but since I am on a roll here I might as well say what else is bothering me. I see over and over girls who state they will have sex with another girl to please their Master. (as a girl who really enjoys/craves sleeping with other girls, i think that is wrong)

I have tried making friends with others on here so either I am really unlikeable(which could be true but I don't give much weight to since they wont even take the time to get to know me) or once people hear 'just friends' they don't want to be bothered.

i think that whether O/one is Master or slave, W/we have specifics in mind. i know that i, for instance, when looking for a sister slave look only at those profiles that state that they are poly. If they are looking simply to make "friends", they appear to have no intention of the relationship going further.
And to be quite farnk, being the only slave in this family right now, i have a hard enough time just finding "online time" to look let alone taking care of Master, work 5 days a week, keep the house clean, shopping, outdoor chores, laundry, etc etc etc.
Don't get me wrong - i have nothing against making friends. But when i'm looking, i'm "a slave with a mission"! lol

princess
"...slave isn't just a word - it's who and what i am ... walking forever in His light and seeking shelter in His shadow"
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RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/23/2005 8:31:53 AM

wolfsprincess

Posts: 18
Joined: 9/25/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: blackwolf99

Maybe there should be a seperate search criteria such as Dominate, Submissive, and Subs seeking Subs. This way Doms dont have to wade through them, and subs would better hit their target audience. For the record I am also poly, and a supporter of poly relations, I just dont see it as effiecient way of finding what one is looking for
Ed

i'm all for that!

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RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/23/2005 9:02:19 AM

wolfsprincess

Posts: 18
Joined: 9/25/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavedesires
Over a year ago i was approached by several Doms on this board who when i asked does your girl know you are seeking to add another girl....would ignore me if i said i really want to be freinds with her, or they said NO she does not know but will later....what the f**k kind of trust is that?
And they even continued to approached me after i said i was owned.

~~shy

In my opinion, it is this sort of "MIS"trust that ruins the search process for the Masters/Owners. When asked if the slave knows, i think the Masters/Owners whose girl DOES know gets just as insulted. After all, why would He be looking behind her back?
Kinda the "one rotten apple" thing. Obviously there's no right, wrong, proper or "book" way of doing. i'll continue on my "trial and error" journey.

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princess
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RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/23/2005 2:58:48 PM

ModeratorOne

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I pulled all the flaming posts.
Please stay on topic or I will pull the entire thread.

Thanks.

ModOne

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RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/24/2005 5:41:49 AM

lovingmaster45

Posts: 261
Joined: 9/16/2004
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quote:

I for one am the seeker as even though my slaves know what I want and need ..the screening process goes through me..

I am with MstrHellsFury on this one.

Everytime i see a "slave"lol, asking for a "sister", I think ; "Oh my he is so clueless he needs to have a woman do his trolling for him."

Maybe it is just me; but like Fury, I see this as a weakness in the dominant. If he is in charge, what the hell is the sub doing trolling?

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RE: What is wrong eith slaves looking for sisters? - 7/24/2005 7:03:37 AM

imtempting

Posts: 874
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrHellsFury

most submissives want to connect with the slave first...strange to wonder on that one as the decision as to whatever activity falls on me not them...go figure...

Fury

Ok First off the person looking would want to know how the girl is, her attitude, why she is doing? ( please her Dominant etc ) Also something else which noone I belive has said is if they are attracted to the submissive sexually?? This can be looks for some people aswell as their personality.

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