RE: is there a always an alpha (Full Version)

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JustaTop -> RE: is there a always an alpha (10/13/2005 6:21:24 PM)

That's the way you run it-we can agree to disagree.

The ones I have seen last over five years stressed the family aspect. With a stable base of members. Not shuttling people in and out, every six months to a year.



candigirlll -> RE: is there a always an alpha (10/13/2005 7:38:21 PM)

JustaTop i have read a few things i have NOT agreed with you about... but being i have been in a very long term loving poly relationship... where there was no alpha slave... from day one my sisters were treated the same as all the rest of us... we did not feel the need to compete.. and i agree 100% with you on this issue...



JustaTop -> RE: is there a always an alpha (10/13/2005 8:03:10 PM)

Well,I used to do poly,it wasn't for me.

We certainly don't have to agree on everything-but this was the most stable model I have seen actually work. Relationships that are set up to *relate* are the best.

If someone feels they have to "win", no one does.



manservant4you -> RE: is there a always an alpha (11/5/2005 12:56:07 PM)

My Dear teapaw
I have read your posted messege and some of the replys you have gottenand think you deserve a better more realistic responce. In my life I have been both slave and master, been in both mono and poly relationships so I believe I can give you a objective responce.
From what you have said it is obvious to me that your Master is Not being honest with you or he would have dealt with his wife if she was truely your equal sister slave.Although he may concider her submissive to him he conciders her as Dommi to you with you as the slave and you need to either be willing to accept that or be willing to confront him and ask, no demand that either you be truely made equal to her or release you on the basis of him not living up to his obligation to you
No Master who isnt honest, or is willing to delude himself about the existing facts of his realatioship to his propertydeserves either the devotion or the obeidience of a good slave and it is very obvious that the master you have is doing one or the other.
You should sit down and confront your Master and then give him a last chance to either rectifi the situation with him not treating her and you as a equals or demand that he realiese you if he is unwilling to fullfill his obligation to you.
I know that for a slave to be placed in a posision to need toconfront a Master is not easy, but haveing a Master who is either unwilling or unable to be honest enough to stop makeing or accepting excusses to not live up to his obligations does not deserve your devotion or obeidience.
I know this is hard speaking but you deserve a Master that lives up to his obligations to you honestly.If he can not do so then I hope you will find one who will.



luvdragonx -> RE: is there a always an alpha (11/5/2005 1:43:05 PM)

I'm re-reading this thread again and really enjoy the different viewpoints.

Is there always an alpha......hell if I know.

I can say from personal experience, that striving for the ideal of all members of the union being immediately equal is nice, it really depends on the journey up to that point.

I think the hiccup comes when people shoot for the Poly Family title right off the bat. Instead, I believe that adding another to the relationship should be like any other relationship. There's (typically) meeting, courtship, engagement, then marriage. When you try to fast forward through the steps, the flavor may not be as rich as you'd like. If you were to choose a life partner for a monogamous relationship, would you really base the decision on how well you play together? the sex? their looks? Or would you instead take the time to get to know the other person; see how they handle adversity; see how they conduct themselves separately from you - finances, friendships, employment, etc.; see what they think of your lifestyle and how you handle things.

Once you've mucked through all that and still want to be together, it's a good bet you'll work out long term. Apply that same selection and learning process to a third or fourth member of a Poly family. It's all the same thing in my opinion.

I'm sure we've all known at least one person who would commit to someone just for the sake of having someone in their lives; settling for things they don't want in order to have a relationship. From the outside looking in, you can see how this is a mistake. From the inside, it's not so clear and it's difficult to make the best decisions when basing them on pure emotion, i.e. the need/want for someone else in the family.

So a lot people/couples bring a third in, hoping that it will all just work out because they had 'such a connection' initially. The choice to enter a relationship can be based on that initial connection, but the choice of commitment in that relationship should be based on time taken to truly learn about each other.



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