slavedesires
Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
Status: offline
|
i have read the whole forum..... i have several thoughts
quote:
ORIGINAL: darksparkle
When she first met her now master/husband they mutually wanted a monogamous with room for play only relationship. And did. He only had eyes for her sort of thing, and she loyally served him.
To some folk in this lifestyle, this is already considered "poly."
quote:
After a while he decided to go poly... By this time she had fallen in love with him. She tried to talk with him about how he wanted a monogamous relationship, just like her in the beginning, it was agreed. But if poly was going to be his desire she honestly could not go that route and told him she'd have to ask to be released. He ended up changing his mind and decided poly was not an option after all...
i was told a year ago, by an Old Guard Master who still might be on CM, love eventually interfers in a M/s relationship.
Emotionally us woman can not detach as well as men can, some men can attach and detach faster than others. Love is a funny word and seems to many times not have the same meaning to 2 people in relationship.....vanilla or in WIITWD.
Reminding him of his former words? Maybe it helps, mostly not. For we change as human beings and our desires change as well.
She told him she would need to be released...if. She threatened and then pulled the threat and made her choice invalid. Some times we say what we do not mean. Possibly "love" interferred with her choices and decisions and now "love" holds her where she may not want to be.
There are many threads on love or obedience or his choice.... do us women stay out of love and put up with his desires or do we desire as he desires for we serve. Such a conundrum as well.
quote:
It always seemed to me right when she starts to develop a deeper trust for him he changes the rules before she is ready. She has caught him in lies on several occasions and does not even mention it to him because she fears he will leave her.
Changing rules happens, for we change always or we are stagnant. Tis why some use contracts, which seem cold to me.
A master, in my opinion can change the rules when he wants. BUT has he prepared the girl for these changes in subtle ways and she has not heard them, comprehended them?
Changing rules is inevitable, maybe a girl changes her rules (in the form of needs, wants,desires) and doesnt realize it.
quote:
I just don't know how to emotionally support her when I feel it's not my place to interfere. She's always walking on eggshells now... She's not even herself anymore...
I'm thinking of stopping our friendship because watching her, my dear friend, is like watching a train wreck in slow motion...
She is not wired for poly, but it doesn't matter. He's going through with it. She told me she is going to do it and act like it's all good because he will leave her if she doesn't and she doesn't want any more punishment over this.
Is there a way I can help make it easier for her to be happy in a poly relationship even though I believe he is not a man of his word? Or maybe it's best for her if I just fade away into the shadows? Her situation has me feeling blue and this is starting to show in my relationship now.
I've always been supportive the best I could but now I'm at a loss...
Does a true freind walk out in the darkest of valleys?
I can say from my own perspective, he will hate her in the end if she goes along with it and her desires are not his desires.....for without realizing it, she will make his home a home of unrest with her attitude for it will reflect outward.
There ae no answers from all of us, only you yourself knows what to do in your gut and she as well knows what she must do.
Both of you will need the strength to do as you will do.
I found this on MountainWings:
I Let Them Go
==============
For the past year and a half, I have been experiencing many
problems in a long term relationship.
It made me unhappy and even physically sick most of that year
and a half since I didn't want to see this relationship end.
I prayed that things would get better on a daily basis and it
grew worse. Wednesday night, I finally said to God, "I can't
handle this any more, I am putting it in your hands, please show
me what to do."
The next morning I clicked on a bookmark by accident and it
popped up with a list of sermons. The first one was titled,
"Let them go." I listened to the sermon and it was as if God
was speaking directly to me.
Most people will think this is crazy, but I felt goose bumps go
up and down my arm. I thought all day about it and then when I
awoke this morning I had no pain in the stomach, no overwhelming
feeling of dread and no fear of loss.
I realized how unhappy this relationship was making me and that
I was trying to save something that was already gone. Of course,
some of those old feelings filtered back into my mind on the
drive to work. Then this morning I opened up my MountainWings
and the last three words were "Let it go."
I think my prayers have been answered.
~A MountainWings Original by (removed by me) ~
For the mysterious list of sermons that "accidentally popped up,"
during that time go to AirJesus.com and click "Most Recent."
The issue with the last three words "Let it go,"
http://www.mountainwings.com/past/5140.htm
I hope this helps in some small way.
~~Shy
_____________________________
i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.
"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability
|
RE: Please help me. - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread