how do you define poly?

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how do you define poly?

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Polyamorous Lifestyles >> how do you define poly?

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how do you define poly? - 11/8/2005 4:06:05 AM

fyreredsub

Posts: 1231
Joined: 10/7/2005
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well guess what,lol, here i find myself, in a situation that my Dom has described as poly.

yet to me, i always thought of poly is more than one slave/sub in the household of one Master.

that is not how my Dom defines .

to me i'm just dating and not in a commitment to "the One' b/c i don't know if he is the "one " yet...lol...but in a commmitment to my training and learning.

anyway i was just wondering on how some of you who are involved w/ others, define poly?

thanks

_____________________________

The glory of a slave girl is that she is a slave: and the misery of a slave girl is that she is a slave.
"Beasts of Gor" page 56

Post #: 1

RE: how do you define poly? - 11/8/2005 5:31:25 AM

MrDiscipline44

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Joined: 1/5/2005
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Poly, to me, is a commitment to more then just ones training. Poly is a commitment to other people in your life. To me it goes beyond BDSM, beyond training. In my poly-home, I'm not just a Dominant, I'm a husband to the two women with me. So thats my definition of poly.

_____________________________

Vini, Vidi, Dominatus

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 2

RE: how do you define poly? - 11/8/2005 5:57:32 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Polaymory to me is having multiple simultaneous intimate committed personal relationships.

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 3

RE: how do you define poly? - 11/8/2005 6:05:11 AM

fyreredsub

Posts: 1231
Joined: 10/7/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

Poly, to me, is a commitment to more then just ones training. Poly is a commitment to other people in your life. To me it goes beyond BDSM, beyond training. In my poly-home, I'm not just a Dominant, I'm a husband to the two women with me. So thats my definition of poly.

thank you for your defination.
we are no where near that point but we are committed to what we will experience together

_____________________________

The glory of a slave girl is that she is a slave: and the misery of a slave girl is that she is a slave.
"Beasts of Gor" page 56

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 4

RE: how do you define poly? - 11/8/2005 6:05:43 AM

fyreredsub

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i am thinking this is more along the lines of what my Dom is wishing for us.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Polaymory to me is having multiple simultaneous intimate committed personal relationships.

_____________________________

The glory of a slave girl is that she is a slave: and the misery of a slave girl is that she is a slave.
"Beasts of Gor" page 56

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 5

RE: how do you define poly? - 11/8/2005 8:06:57 AM

SoulBelow

Posts: 24
Joined: 11/8/2005
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My master has 2 subs. me and another girl who currently lives in the USA. We all hope to live together one day. Thats poly to me

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 6

RE: how do you define poly? - 11/8/2005 11:29:28 AM

Kasia

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
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quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub

anyway i was just wondering on how some of you who are involved w/ others, define poly?

I have two definitions in my mind when I think about poly - polyamorous and polysexual.
Polyamorous for me is when people here talk about living together in emotional relationships.
Polysexual on the other side is what I am - I can include other men/women in my relationship only as ocasional play partners, but emotional comitment I dont share.
If you put it roughly, other people are just means for me and my husband getting our pleasures and not equal life partners.

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I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 7

RE: how do you define poly? - 11/8/2005 1:09:41 PM

KnightofMists

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Polygamous to me is having multiple simultaneous on going intimate(emotional & physical) personal relationships that have varying degrees of significance and commitment.

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Knight of Mists

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Post #: 8

RE: how do you define poly? - 11/8/2005 3:19:59 PM

fyreredsub

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thanks ya'll for your input. as i am coming to find it means different things to different people.

_____________________________

The glory of a slave girl is that she is a slave: and the misery of a slave girl is that she is a slave.
"Beasts of Gor" page 56

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 9

RE: how do you define poly? - 11/8/2005 9:12:41 PM

OsideGirl

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Joined: 7/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kasia
I have two definitions in my mind when I think about poly - polyamorous and polysexual.
Polyamorous for me is when people here talk about living together in emotional relationships.
Polysexual on the other side is what I am - I can include other men/women in my relationship only as ocasional play partners, but emotional comitment I dont share.

We're very similar. We view polyamorous as equilateral multiple comitted relationships. Meaning everyone is involved. In the case of Dominants that have multiple submissives that are not involved emotionally with each other, I tend to view as a harem rather than polyamorous.

_____________________________

Bobbi

(in reply to Kasia)

Post #: 10

RE: how do you define poly? - 11/9/2005 10:24:24 AM

fyreredsub

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well i don't imagine i will be involved w/ the other subs at this point in time,altho perhaps in public play i will be topping occasionally, in the future.
as to other Doms in my life i will be sharing the info and asking for his opinion in what their training may be for me (as something he may defer to others) and what does he think/wish for the situation to be.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kasia
I have two definitions in my mind when I think about poly - polyamorous and polysexual.
Polyamorous for me is when people here talk about living together in emotional relationships.
Polysexual on the other side is what I am - I can include other men/women in my relationship only as ocasional play partners, but emotional comitment I dont share.

We're very similar. We view polyamorous as equilateral multiple comitted relationships. Meaning everyone is involved. In the case of Dominants that have multiple submissives that are not involved emotionally with each other, I tend to view as a harem rather than polyamorous.

_____________________________

The glory of a slave girl is that she is a slave: and the misery of a slave girl is that she is a slave.
"Beasts of Gor" page 56

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 11

RE: how do you define poly? - 11/9/2005 1:28:15 PM

starshineowned

Posts: 417
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
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quote:

I have two definitions in my mind when I think about poly - polyamorous and polysexual.
Polyamorous for me is when people here talk about living together in emotional relationships.
Polysexual on the other side is what I am - I can include other men/women in my relationship only as ocasional play partners, but emotional comitment I dont share.
If you put it roughly, other people are just means for me and my husband getting our pleasures and not equal life partners.

This analogy works for me as well

starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 12

RE: how do you define poly? - 11/10/2005 5:10:09 PM

amazonlea

Posts: 28
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Polaymory to me is having multiple simultaneous intimate committed personal relationships.

What she said.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Polygamous to me is having multiple simultaneous on going intimate(emotional & physical) personal relationships that have varying degrees of significance and commitment.

No wait, what he said.

< Message edited by amazonlea -- 11/10/2005 5:11:31 PM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 13

RE: how do you define poly? - 11/10/2005 7:15:26 PM

fyreredsub

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lol lea, they both work for me as well

quote:

ORIGINAL: amazonlea

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Polaymory to me is having multiple simultaneous intimate committed personal relationships.

What she said.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Polygamous to me is having multiple simultaneous on going intimate(emotional & physical) personal relationships that have varying degrees of significance and commitment.

No wait, what he said.

_____________________________

The glory of a slave girl is that she is a slave: and the misery of a slave girl is that she is a slave.
"Beasts of Gor" page 56

(in reply to amazonlea)

Post #: 14

RE: how do you define poly? - 11/11/2005 3:25:00 AM

smilezz

Posts: 489
Joined: 6/18/2004
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I thought i could define it years ago. I gave up doing that. I have seen and heard to much for definition(s). What each person defines it as is pretty much what it's going to be.

Happy Friday y'all!!

~smilezz~

_____________________________

"Please excuse my Sense of Justice...it's the only thing that saves You from the Slaughter"

"What you cannot enforce, do not command - Sophocles"

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 15

RE: how do you define poly? - 11/12/2005 5:02:50 AM

kisshou

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Joined: 2/11/2005
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If a girl is in multiple relationships but none of those people are involved with each other , I do not consider that to be polyamorous. Same as if a man were involved with multiple women. That is no different from vanilla 'dating around' with varying degrees of intimacy.
If the multiple partners are also involed with each other in the relationship (triad, quad) etc then I would consider it to be polyamorous. That is the key element.

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 16

RE: how do you define poly? - 11/12/2005 6:40:34 AM

fyreredsub

Posts: 1231
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

If a girl is in multiple relationships but none of those people are involved with each other , I do not consider that to be polyamorous. Same as if a man were involved with multiple women. That is no different from vanilla 'dating around' with varying degrees of intimacy.
If the multiple partners are also involed with each other in the relationship (triad, quad) etc then I would consider it to be polyamorous. That is the key element.

ah see thats where the confusion lays for me and why i posted this ...........all i know is i am comfortable with it so i guess thats what counts.......

_____________________________

The glory of a slave girl is that she is a slave: and the misery of a slave girl is that she is a slave.
"Beasts of Gor" page 56

(in reply to kisshou)

Post #: 17

RE: how do you define poly? - 11/12/2005 6:52:32 PM

BenignPlague

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Joined: 5/10/2005
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The way poly anything has always been to me, the specifics being less important than the main idea, is the uninhibited unconditional love given from one person to another and returned juse as unconditionally. Monogamy seems to have a very rigid "if" attached to it... along the lines of I will provide for, care for, and pursue pleasing you and your being happy IF I am the only one you are with. This to me seems like a bit of a contradiction: wanting the other person to be as happy as possible, and wanting to be their only source of happiness. It doesn't always work: at some point, people settle.

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 18

RE: how do you define poly? - 11/13/2005 10:59:59 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BenignPlague

The way poly anything has always been to me, the specifics being less important than the main idea, is the uninhibited unconditional love given from one person to another and returned juse as unconditionally.

For me love is uncoditional, relationships are certainly not.

quote:

Monogamy seems to have a very rigid "if" attached to it... along the lines of I will provide for, care for, and pursue pleasing you and your being happy IF I am the only one you are with. This to me seems like a bit of a contradiction: wanting the other person to be as happy as possible, and wanting to be their only source of happiness. It doesn't always work: at some point, people settle.

This exact same thing happens in poly all the time.

Relationships have and should have conditions attached to them. Love however is another story. I agree that true love means truly encouraging the person to be who they are, even if that means not being with you. But it doesn't mean I'm going to put up with anything and everything just because I love you.

(in reply to BenignPlague)

Post #: 19

RE: how do you define poly? - 11/14/2005 2:33:21 PM

Kasia

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BenignPlague

The way poly anything has always been to me, the specifics being less important than the main idea, is the uninhibited unconditional love given from one person to another and returned juse as unconditionally. Monogamy seems to have a very rigid "if" attached to it... along the lines of I will provide for, care for, and pursue pleasing you and your being happy IF I am the only one you are with. This to me seems like a bit of a contradiction: wanting the other person to be as happy as possible, and wanting to be their only source of happiness. It doesn't always work: at some point, people settle.

And why "uninhibited unconditional love" couldnt exist between just two persons?
What IF I can only be happy in monogamous relationship and having all emotions and all attention for myself? IF you loved me uninhibitedly and unconditionaly then it would mean giving up any poly fantasies just for my sake wouldnt it? IF you wanted me to be happy etc.

There are probably much more IFs in relationships than you are aware.

_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to BenignPlague)

Post #: 20

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