LadiesBladewing
Posts: 518
Joined: 8/31/2005 Status: offline
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I can't tell you about a quad, but I -can- tell you about the dynamics in a larger group than that, in a particular form of this dynamic that is primarily M/s, with poly overlaid. When I served the House originally, we had a full staff, some long-term and some who only stayed a short time. The servants got along pretty much like a family... there were some disagreements, and occasionally one group would "gang up" on another group or on the "newbie"... but, in general, we all worked together to keep things flowing the way our (multiple) owners preferred. I think, for us, it helped that all of us were collectively owned/trained. That kept rivalries caused by vying for one single person's attention to a minimum, and allowed us to focus on our service, rather than on beating out one of the other servants for a Master's or Mistress' attention. It is pretty challenging to come into a new household, with already established relationships and balances. Some of what I'm going to advise isn't going to be easy, but it -will- facilitate your integration into an M/s household. these recommendations also don't necessarily apply to other types of poly-growth situations, but are pretty specific to M/s relationships. Advice in your situation... stay calm and sure of yourself. You were invited to be here, and the Master wants there to be a place for you in his house. It isn't important -why-... the fact that he wanted you and you agreed is enough. Your chain-mates may try to get a rise out of you by making you question why you are there... but he wants you there, and that is the only answer they need. Make yourself part of the family, and participate from the get-go, without being pushy and trying to take things over (unless they are things assigned for you to take on). Let your Master sort out assignments, or obey the first-servant if he's designated one, since the first servant (aka first girl) speaks with authority that is not -hers-, but that has been given to her to USE by the Master. That way, everyone knows that it is the Master's preference for things to be a certain way, and a firm reminder of who made the assignments and rules should negate any bickering. As a newcomer, you'll probably get a hefty chunk of attention while you are adjusting. Don't take it for granted, and don't use that time to try to cut your chain-mates out of the relationship. That will only earn you enemies in the home. Be grateful for the extra time, but don't be clingy or set up "drama-needs" to increase the attention you get. Remember your dignity, always, and keep your purpose in being there (to serve your Master) at the forefront of your mind... and behave in the way that you know he would expect, whether he can see you or not. Oh...and be appreciative of your chain-mates if they are giving up some of -their- time with Master to help you acclimate or give you a bit of extra time with him while you adjust. It's hard to give up time that was "yours" to a newcomer, and as much as we tell servants that they don't "own" something like the Master's time, that still doesn't stop the -feeling- from happening... so be sensitive. Try to work out problems with your chain-mates on your own as much as possible. No Owner likes whining, tattling and complaining... so anything that you can work out amongst yourselves will make you more pleasant to him. If you're always running to him with problems, the annoyance of being bothered with another cat-fight will soon outweigh any pleasure he gets from seeing the instigator/tattler show up in his presence. A M/s poly relationship is a little different than a regular poly relationship, in that the primary aspect of the relationship needs to be established first. If this is primarily a M/s dynamic with poly overtones, one other piece of advice I can give you is to always remember that no matter what else happens, Master's word is law... the object is to be pleasing, and if he wants something, making sure that it happens, and in the most pleasing, efficient way possible will make life easier for everyone. I'll let someone else deal with how to handle this if it is a poly relationship with some M/s overtones. Lady Zephyr quote:
ORIGINAL: angelynne Greetings All, i'm starting a new post because i could find very little information in the threads about poly relationships of more than 3... maybe someone could help me find a thread where this was discussed before or at least offer some opinions. i am considering joining an arrangement where there would be one Master and 3 female slaves. it would obviously be mostly a "vee" where we are all bonded to the Master. but my question is, when left on their own, what happens among the females? my first inclination would be that 2 would bond and one be sort of left out. i'd expect the Master would do what he could to correct that but sometimes you just can't... so does anyone have experience in a house with a Master and 3 or more slaves living together? i'm very curious to hear about others' experiences. respectfully, slave angela
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"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.
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