Collarchat.com

Join Our Community		 As the Collar Turns:
 Collarchat.com - BDSM Forum

Home  Login  Event Calendars  Search 
Espanol  Deutsch  Francais  Italiano  Portugues 

Your thoughts?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Your thoughts? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Your thoughts? - 3/7/2006 8:14:24 PM   
verianah


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Have you ever found the complete connection right away with someone and just knew that they were the "one"? i did, or so i thought i did, but maybe i am just jumping to conclusions. i met a man on here whom i thought was the missing piece. i took a chance, went up to meet him. we hit it off almost instantaneously. it was amazing how things went. we talked about me moving with him and such, i know it sounds crazy, but that isn't my problem. i thought it was mutual on both sides, and as far as i know, it is still. but in the last two days, after i got home of course, he speaks to me less. now, the man told me he loved me and i returned the feelings, but i'm wondering if i should be worried that something just isn't quite right. i do realize that i will get alot of criticism on the moving quickly thing and what not, but am looking for honest opinions please on the situation. maybe i didn't let him chase me...*shrugs*
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Your thoughts? - 3/7/2006 8:18:23 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 1886
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Remember when you went from 6th grad to 7th......whatever the numbers..........

Ooooooooooooh, look at me, now I am a highschooler.......

Then you got there and most of it was the same ol' shit?
Could be kinda like that, could be something bad, could be something good........

I can only tell you that right now, it is WAY to early to take a wait and see attitude.

Ron

_____________________________

"Schlau, aber nichts wahr" Albert Einstein

(in reply to verianah)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Your thoughts? - 3/7/2006 8:26:26 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 495
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		Honestly sounds like the reality of the situation hit him between the eyes. There is also the issue of Dom drop that you could be dealing with.

(in reply to verianah)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Your thoughts? - 3/7/2006 8:27:34 PM   
verianah


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		damn girls and them falling so fast. thank you for your responses...


~veri

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Your thoughts? - 3/7/2006 8:31:02 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 2294
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		All I can say is that there have been several times when I thought I had met "the one," and each time I turned out to be wrong.

(in reply to verianah)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Your thoughts? - 3/7/2006 8:42:34 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 633
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

i thought it was mutual on both sides, and as far as i know, it is still. but in the last two days, after i got home of course, he speaks to me less. now, the man told me he loved me and i returned the feelings, but i'm wondering if i should be worried that something just isn't quite right.


It's two days. It's entirely possible the man's just busy right now and doesn't have a whole lot of time for phone calls and IMs. Or, it could be the chemistry just wasn't "right" for him, despite what he said. Or, it could be he's married and your visit was just a fling. Or, he could be overwhelmed with how quickly things were moving and got a little scared. Or, it could be any one of a hundred other reasons. The only way you're going to know for sure what's going on is to ask him, but even that's no guarantee you'll get a straight answer. Good luck to you.

_____________________________

Denise
the Kaptin's wench

(in reply to verianah)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Your thoughts? - 3/7/2006 8:49:44 PM   
valeca


Posts: 60
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline 		It's been two days since you got back?

Give Him a chance to obsorb everything. Two days may be ample time for you, but He may not move at the speed of light on sorting out His own thoughts. Give Him some time to breath! For all you know, He could just be sad that you're no longer there! He could have had two 'off' days, or been feeling under the weather. Two days! There could be any number of reasons for His being less communicative.

I don't know how to say this without sounding harsh, so I'm just going to lay it out there. Not being able to wait two days without thinking the worst comes across as a touch clingy and more than a little insecure--two of the least flattering qualities.

Relax! Worry causes wrinkles!

edit: damn, Evanesce beat me to the 'ok' button.

< Message edited by valeca -- 3/7/2006 8:51:06 PM >

_____________________________

~valeca, Owned and Operated by Loraith.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Your thoughts? - 3/7/2006 8:58:34 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 1886
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: valeca

It's been two days since you got back?

Give Him a chance to obsorb everything. Two days may be ample time for you, but He may not move at the speed of light on sorting out His own thoughts.


You knew long before it was kinky that men don't slide into new concepts as women...........

Listen to this one before you go to far from home.........

What an insightful post Valeca!

Damn, I am just full up with proud for you!!!!


Sincerely,
Ron

_____________________________

"Schlau, aber nichts wahr" Albert Einstein

(in reply to valeca)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Your thoughts? - 3/7/2006 9:52:35 PM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 616
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		Leading with your heart is a dangerous way to do it. It may be any number of things that made him react that way but please be careful, take your time and be SURE before you leap. It's a lot easier to go slow and wish you were going faster than it is to go fast and wish like Hell you had gone slower ! !

Good luck to you.

< Message edited by OscarHargraves -- 3/7/2006 9:53:56 PM >

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly!!!

(in reply to verianah)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Your thoughts? - 3/7/2006 9:57:18 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 1886
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Ockie, as usual is a voice of reason. It is alright to have mixed feelings, a giddiness for the event. But prudence is the watchword. Like a pendulum swinging, find the center and put yourself in it.

Rpm

_____________________________

"Schlau, aber nichts wahr" Albert Einstein

(in reply to OscarHargraves)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Your thoughts? - 3/7/2006 10:01:07 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 2651
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Sure, lots of peopole feel it.

Only time and work will bear out whether the feelings can extend into the reality.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

(in reply to verianah)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Your thoughts? - 3/8/2006 2:17:40 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 423
Joined: 12/28/2004
Status: offline 		Tough question to answer without his views on this.... Welcome to the Forums, btw!

Personally, I've never clicked almost instantly with anyone. I suggest you need to address some basics to find your answers. First, ALL relationships require hard work so maybe the "honeymoon"s over and it's time to roll the sleeves up and get your hands dirty. A good place to start is my 3 most used words in D/s - COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION!

Focus.

(in reply to verianah)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Your thoughts? - 3/8/2006 2:57:57 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 2678
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		I have no idea what a complete connection means. I posit that it will be different for each of is however. I hve felt good connecrtions with anumberof people in varioous levels and expecially those of Pagan or Occult persuasion.. If it is with a person of the female gender, I usually do an immediate self annalyais to asscertain if the connection isn't based on a more primal level.

A complete Connection for me occurs after years of being with some one and beig connev=cted in and working in a multitude of levels including but not exclusive to, Magick (at all levela), shared experiences, likes and dislikes, psychological profiles, Instinctive reactions and other things which I value greatly...... But I am a difficult bastard to get close to.. I'll take you to hell and bring you out the other side unscathed......

_____________________________

Be Well
Iron Bear

Master of House Iron Bear


Yes, I am a Master, but not your Master..........


The Incorrigible, irrepressible, irreverent grizzly



(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Your thoughts? - 3/8/2006 4:01:30 AM   
DelRey


Posts: 153
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: verianah

Have you ever found the complete connection right away with someone and just knew that they were the "one"? i did, or so i thought i did, but maybe i am just jumping to conclusions. i met a man on here whom i thought was the missing piece. i took a chance, went up to meet him. we hit it off almost instantaneously. it was amazing how things went. we talked about me moving with him and such, i know it sounds crazy, but that isn't my problem. i thought it was mutual on both sides, and as far as i know, it is still. but in the last two days, after i got home of course, he speaks to me less. now, the man told me he loved me and i returned the feelings, but i'm wondering if i should be worried that something just isn't quite right. i do realize that i will get alot of criticism on the moving quickly thing and what not, but am looking for honest opinions please on the situation. maybe i didn't let him chase me...*shrugs*


Your feelings are trying to tell you somthing ((((( start listening )))) even though you may not want to.


feelings never lie

and they have been with you a lot longer than your new friend has

(in reply to verianah)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Your thoughts? - 3/8/2006 4:54:44 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 1850
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		First of all, get a hankie, wipe your eyes, remove the stars--now let the cold hard slap of reality take hold---your post tone appears to be one of panic, almost deparation--calm down and breathe--yes things can happen "in an instant", however that instant needs to have some reality infused--things take time, actions or reactions need to sink in--I am amazed that if that connection was there--you have no way of contacting him when you need? Odd--

You are a responsible adult, you did not indicate he wasn't in touch, only that the chase had slowed a bit from what it was--however as Delrey says, if you have nagging feelings, chances are they nag for a reason...

_____________________________

"I would rather 30 seconds of something wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special." Steel Magnolias

Mistress Hathor

Proud owner of subtoFemDommes--who is known as Her private label in training.

(in reply to verianah)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Your thoughts? - 3/8/2006 5:05:54 AM   
Cloudz


Posts: 279
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline 		Oh Sweetie,

I HATE leading with my heart and having it smashed. However life is much more interesting if you go ahead and trust anyway..versus cautious. In a perfect world I suppose one would cautiously lead with the heart ...but then the damn endorphins kick in.

He's either a wanker or he's not. You either have reason to trust him, or not. Listen to your instincts dear one...they are shouting and will not be ignored.

Life would be boring with the experiences gathered along the way...

Be well dearheart,

_____________________________

Bright Blessings,
~Cloudz
_

I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It's cloud's illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all


(in reply to verianah)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Your thoughts? - 3/8/2006 5:07:47 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 681
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		OK there are a number of things this could be.....

Second thoughts? Fear? Dom drop? any would be quite normal in the circumstances. Dom's ARE only human too, they do have doubts, they do question wether something that maybe look too good to be true might actualy not be true at all and also it might just be a case of him going a little quiet whilst he works through all the decision making process of where he needs to take things from here.

If you are having a problem, talk to him about it. If you think it might be Dom drop... point him at this board. Plenty folks here been through it and might be able to help him work through it.

If you are sure that it is your intuition saying there maybe something wrong rather than just your own worries and fears then you definatly need to talk to him, how else are you going to find out the truth. Be aware of the possibility that there maybe something wrong, Check where you can, but keep an open mind because there are plenty of 'normal' things that could be in play here too.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

(in reply to verianah)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Your thoughts? - 3/8/2006 6:37:49 AM   
fastlane


Posts: 1386
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		What everyone else said, but let me add one thing......Stay Positive!
If it felt right and you think that he may be "the one", there's a good chance that your intuition was right. Continue to trust it and be patient. Good things take time.

I hope it works.....Fastlane crosses legs...Gotta P!

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Your thoughts? - 3/8/2006 7:04:15 AM   
luckyslaveboync


Posts: 18
Joined: 3/18/2005
Status: offline 		Agrees with fastlane, but puts the emphasis on "take time." Behavior over time is a better criterion than intuition and first feelings, lucky thinks, particularly where intuition and feelings seem to be going both directions.

You have a good heart and good things will happen in their season.

-lucky

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Your thoughts? - 3/8/2006 8:04:26 AM   
Cloudz


Posts: 279
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

OK there are a number of things this could be.....

Second thoughts? Fear? Dom drop? any would be quite normal in the circumstances. Dom's ARE only human too, they do have doubts, they do question wether something that maybe look too good to be true might actualy not be true at all and also it might just be a case of him going a little quiet whilst he works through all the decision making process of where he needs to take things from here

If you are having a problem, talk to him about it. If you think it might be Dom drop... point him at this board. Plenty folks here been through it and might be able to help him work through it.

If you are sure that it is your intuition saying there maybe something wrong rather than just your own worries and fears then you definatly need to talk to him, how else are you going to find out the truth. Be aware of the possibility that there maybe something wrong, Check where you can, but keep an open mind because there are plenty of 'normal' things that could be in play here too.


<<<<, Quickly stepping aside to let the voice of reason prevail

< Message edited by Cloudz -- 3/8/2006 8:05:25 AM >

_____________________________

Bright Blessings,
~Cloudz
_

I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It's cloud's illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all


(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Your thoughts? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Collarchat.com is a member of the Free Speech Coalition
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.090