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Question - 8/28/2005 6:59:37 PM

softysub

Posts: 101
Joined: 10/20/2004
Status: offline

There is something i dont seem to understand. When a Master has a sub, who He rarely sees and goes to ask His sub to find a sistersub. How can that happen when He doesnt have time for one sub and now wishes for two?

It has nothing to do with jealousy, but i just dont understand.... Anyone mind explaining, please?

Thanks!

softysub

Post #: 1

RE: Question - 8/28/2005 7:20:19 PM

JohnWarren

Posts: 1931
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: softysub

There is something i dont seem to understand. When a Master has a sub, who He rarely sees and goes to ask His sub to find a sistersub. How can that happen when He doesnt have time for one sub and now wishes for two?

It has nothing to do with jealousy, but i just dont understand.... Anyone mind explaining, please?

Thanks!

softysub

He's a jerk?

Some men are enchanted with the chase. Once the prey has been captured they lose interest. Sad but true.

I think one sub is losing out right now. Should a "sister sub" be located the number would go up to two.

_____________________________

----
www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to softysub)

Post #: 2

RE: Question - 8/28/2005 7:41:43 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3610
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

OR the slave is just the type who prefers a general owner/life guide rather than an in your face micromanager.

Not every slave wants to live with their owner, and some are perfectly happy with a fairly loose structure as long as the gruond rules are solid. The Owner doesn't know much of my day to day dealings, but he's very much a part of my life and it's structure and he knows without a shadow of a doubt that if he calls tomorrow, whatever he asks will get done. I'm pretty happy with it.

The reality of course is that this particular person likely just likes the idea of having lots of chicks and wants to strut a bit. BUT there are other possibilities- aslong as everyone agrees and is fulfilled by it, then it's good.

(in reply to softysub)

Post #: 3

RE: Question - 8/28/2005 8:48:06 PM

RavenofPK

Posts: 176
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

OR the slave is just the type who prefers a general owner/life guide rather than an in your face micromanager.

Not every slave wants to live with their owner, and some are perfectly happy with a fairly loose structure as long as the gruond rules are solid.

Interesting. All this focus on what the "sub/slave" wants, as if what the man wants is irrelevant. Who is running the show anyway......him.......or the so-called "subs/slaves"?

As has been bantered about before in certain other threads........"who is anyone (especially another mere "sub/slave who has nothing to do with nothing) to question the will of a man?"

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 4

RE: Question - 8/28/2005 9:00:35 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 2294
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

The assumption is that the MAN can take care of himself, Raven.

I mean, what would YOU call a dom who has to have a Collarme thread about having his needs met?

(in reply to RavenofPK)

Post #: 5

RE: Question - 8/28/2005 10:11:44 PM

kc692

Posts: 672
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

splutters, RFLMAO!!!!!!!

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 6

RE: Question - 8/28/2005 11:04:43 PM

RavenofPK

Posts: 176
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

The assumption is that the MAN can take care of himself, Raven.

I mean, what would YOU call a dom who has to have a Collarme thread about having his needs met?

As usual........you missed the point. I thought I was rather clear on the matter. Apparantly..... in the bdsm world..........submissive means dominant, and dominant means submissive.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 7

RE: Question - 8/28/2005 11:17:45 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 823
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: softysub

There is something i dont seem to understand. When a Master has a sub, who He rarely sees and goes to ask His sub to find a sistersub. How can that happen when He doesnt have time for one sub and now wishes for two?

It has nothing to do with jealousy, but i just dont understand.... Anyone mind explaining, please?

Thanks!

softysub

it is anyones guess what the motivations of your Dom would be... one can assume all they want. In truth, the only one that can give you this answer to your specific question Is your Dom! so go ask him. But the fact you question the will of your Dom so publicly. I suspect that you have issues with the relationship as it is. I do agree that it is not jealousy, but the seeds are there for it to grow. What if He does find another sub?... mmmm and what happens to your time. will it grow less what will be your reaction?... what if the time doesn't change that you have or have been receiving... seems to me your not happy with that already.

seems to me you are seeking some answers to some unstated questions as well. I suggest you figure out what is the really important questions that you need to find answer for. I suspect that the question your asking is not really the more important one that is in your heart and mind.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

(in reply to softysub)

Post #: 8

RE: Question - 8/29/2005 2:26:22 AM

softysub

Posts: 101
Joined: 10/20/2004
Status: offline

The question wasnt about my situation, It isnt about questioning the Dom, it was something i didnt understand....I know the needs of a Dom comes first, but instead of making one sub sad cause she rarely sees her Dom, it would make two sad subs.

Also, to have to find a sistersub so she can play and doesnt get bored cause He has no time for her....

Still after five years in this lifestyle, i am still learning and how things are going, i am facing the door (walking out).

Thank You for Your replies.

softysub

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 9

RE: Question - 8/29/2005 5:30:58 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3610
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenofPK
Interesting. All this focus on what the "sub/slave" wants, as if what the man wants is irrelevant. Who is running the show anyway......him.......or the so-called "subs/slaves"?

The want of the dom is not irrelevant, but we already know what the dom wants- two subs he doesn't have to spend much daily time with. The topic of the thread was about why two subs might want that situation as well.

quote:

As has been bantered about before in certain other threads........"who is anyone (especially another mere "sub/slave who has nothing to do with nothing) to question the will of a man?"

Well that's an interesting statement but hardly universal. Many dominants support their property, at least in certain circumstances, questioning the dominant, trying to understand the dominants will, and at times questioning whether it's the best choice. Part of my job as the owners slave is to make his life easier, not just sit like a lump. He enjoys and appreciates my feedback and questions, it has often helped shape his decisions and he has thanked me for helping him.

Especially when you're trying to court a submissive, you will want one who suits your situation, whose personality can be compatible, and that comes from understanding where everyone is coming from.

< Message edited by EmeraldSlave2 -- 8/29/2005 5:31:34 AM >

(in reply to RavenofPK)

Post #: 10

RE: Question - 8/29/2005 9:18:15 AM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 2294
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

No it doesn't. You're confused about this because you think dominant means domineering. Dominance is not about "I do what I want and you take it or else." You won't find too many subs hanging around you if that's your approach.

Dominance is about "I do what I want and you take it because it's what you want more than anything."

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenofPK

Apparantly..... in the bdsm world..........submissive means dominant, and dominant means submissive.

(in reply to RavenofPK)

Post #: 11

RE: Question - 8/29/2005 11:06:56 AM

kc692

Posts: 672
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

Well said, LAM!!!!

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 12

RE: Question - 8/29/2005 1:57:52 PM

angelicalistical

Posts: 9
Joined: 8/23/2004
Status: offline

i can only answer for a situation i had known of in the past where the Dom worked significantly long hours and had limited time with his sub. he felt his particular needed the added attention, friendship and love offered by having a sister sub, that in having as much the two (submissives) would not be at constant longing for other things.

(in reply to kc692)

Post #: 13

RE: Question - 8/30/2005 7:55:57 AM

Kinkdom69

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/2/2005
Status: offline

Sounds like your in a long distance relationship right?If so he is putting the burden of finding a sub closer to him on you.If not then i venture the guess that he,s wanting a sexual partner more than a sub.

(in reply to JohnWarren)

Post #: 14

RE: Question - 8/30/2005 3:48:54 PM

softysub

Posts: 101
Joined: 10/20/2004
Status: offline

Thank Y/you E/everyone for Y/your input. I definately need to rethink this whole lifestyle as to if its the one for me or not.

Be well

softysub

(in reply to Kinkdom69)

Post #: 15

RE: Question - 8/30/2005 4:54:30 PM

luvdragonx

Posts: 387
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

I truly hope you aren't letting one situation that doesn't suit you cause you to consider bailing on BDSM as a whole. Many will tell you (myself included) that there are as many ways of doing WIITWD as there are people doing it. What you're experiencing is different from my experience, different from the other posters' experiences. Decide what YOU want for YOU. If you come to the conclusion that what you want is to be out of BDSM, then good for you. If you decide that you want BDSM, just not on this guy's terms, even better.

_____________________________

Never Without Love

(in reply to softysub)

Post #: 16

RE: Question - 8/30/2005 9:55:16 PM

RavenofPK

Posts: 176
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

No it doesn't. You're confused about this because you think dominant means domineering. Dominance is not about "I do what I want and you take it or else." You won't find too many subs hanging around you if that's your approach.

Dominance is about "I do what I want and you take it because it's what you want more than anything."

Nope. Hardly confused at all. I am simply not blind to the difference between a "sub" and a submissive female. Contrary to to popular belief, they are not the same. I have dealt with both. And I'd much rather have naturalness of a submissive woman breathing my air than a "part-time, do-things-my-way-or-I'll-stop-giving-you-sex sub."

But hey.......if *you* wish to be chained to such a demasculating situation.....enjoy!

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 17

RE: Question - 8/31/2005 3:40:33 AM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline

Apperently Raven, as usualy you have not a clue of what you are talking aboute. There is a differance between a sub and a slave, is a sub not submissive, sure she is, but she has not given up the right to have a say. You see, contry to what you seam to belive, we do not live on Gor, and here things are in a bit more of shades og gray than black and white. You dont have the willing sex slaves and the frigid man haters only.

i am a submissive woman, i obey the man i live whit. But i have limits to my submission, do that make my submission less true, no, it simply mean that i am a submissive and not a slave. i for example can not take all the housework becouse i am dedicated to my studies, and that was a condition that i would be aloved to keep them when i gave my submission, do that mean that i am in charge? no, it simply mean there is limits to my submission.

(in reply to RavenofPK)

Post #: 18

RE: Question - 9/1/2005 11:38:27 AM

KnightRaven

Posts: 19
Joined: 5/23/2005
Status: offline

That sort of dynamic that you espouse only works in this society when both parties agree to it. until such an agreement is specifically made, the relationship must be approached where the needs of both parties are considered equal. The reason for the focus on her needs is due to the fact that she is posting, he is not. It's as simple as that.

(in reply to RavenofPK)

Post #: 19

RE: Question - 9/1/2005 12:22:56 PM

LadiesBladewing

Posts: 518
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline

I'd say that the people to ask are the people involved...and if you are one of the people involved, then the person to ask is the one who brought you into the situation--either the Master or the sub who is asking you to be the sub sister.

If you don't get your questions answered, I'd hazard that this isn't going to be an honest, forthcoming relationship.

Submissive does not mean "never asks questions".

To understand the reasoning, though, think about this...suppose a person had a puppy...he or she worked long hours, and the puppy spent a lot of time alone. It was clear that the puppy was lonely, being that it was a pack creature...so the Owner goes and gets a second puppy, and shares time with both of them when he or she has time, and all of them thrive.

This wouldn't work well for those stuck in a monogamous mindset where the individuals were glued to having "time alone with X". But in a truly polyfideletous situation, where everyone shared the available time as a family, it can work extraordinarily well, and everyone can be happier--the one sub is less lonely with someone to talk to and be with when the Owner is away (and to halve the tasks, as they can be shared between the two), and the Owner can share time with two joyful, excited and better-rested subs.

Lady Zephyr

quote:

ORIGINAL: softysub

There is something i dont seem to understand. When a Master has a sub, who He rarely sees and goes to ask His sub to find a sistersub. How can that happen when He doesnt have time for one sub and now wishes for two?

It has nothing to do with jealousy, but i just dont understand.... Anyone mind explaining, please?

Thanks!

softysub

< Message edited by LadiesBladewing -- 9/1/2005 12:33:16 PM >

(in reply to softysub)

Post #: 20

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