Help to get in shape for spring!

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Help to get in shape for spring! - 2/24/2005 11:29:17 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 2326
Joined: 6/18/2004
From: Palos Verdes Estates
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Spring is fast approaching (and the rains may eventually stop here in SoCal) so ask yourself - Are you ready for bikini season?

If not this calorie burning chart may help you establish your workout routine. It has been known for many years that sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research a team of scientists proudly presents its results:

REMOVING PARTNER'S CLOTHES:
With consent.................................12 Calories
Without consent........................2187 Calories

UNHOOKING HER BRA:
With both hands.................................8 Calories
With one hand...................................12 Calories
With your teeth................................485 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection................................... 6 Calories
Without an erection........................ 3315 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary........................................ 12 Calories
69 lying down.................................... 78 Calories
69 standing up.................................8812 Calories
Wheelbarrow....................................216 Calories
Doggy Style......................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier............................2912 Calories

ORGASMS (hers):
Real..................................................112 Calories
Fake................................................1315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging............................18 Calories
Getting up immediately.........................36 Calories
Explaining why you got up immediately.......816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
10-19 years................................... --20 calories
20-29 years.................................... 36 Calories
30-39 years.................................... 80 Calories
40-49 years....................................124 Calories
50-59 years...................................1972 Calories
60-69 years...................................7916 Calories
70 and over.................Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly..........................................................32 Calories
In a hurry......................................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door...........5218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door..........13,521 Calories

Results may vary.....

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"The words printed here are concepts. You must go through the experiences." - Saint Augustine

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RE: Help to get in shape for spring! - 2/24/2005 11:57:23 AM

proudsub

Posts: 3896
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
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How come i'm not skinny by now?

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

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RE: Help to get in shape for spring! - 2/26/2005 4:06:53 AM

CalliopePurple

Posts: 769
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: rural NE Florida
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Umm....what's "Italian chandelier"? Sorry if that's a stupid question, but I really don't know.

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RE: Help to get in shape for spring! - 2/26/2005 10:12:00 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 2326
Joined: 6/18/2004
From: Palos Verdes Estates
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quote:

Umm....what's "Italian chandelier"?

Calliope,
It's a reference to doing 'it' - "hanging from a chandelier". I could say that the fact that it'a an Italian chandelier noted is because the BEST sex, as everyone knows, can only be accomplished with an Italian partner; but that would be self serving.

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Merc & beth

"The words printed here are concepts. You must go through the experiences." - Saint Augustine

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RE: Help to get in shape for spring! - 2/26/2005 10:14:04 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 2933
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quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub
How come i'm not skinny by now?

Hey Merc that was funny as hell.... and right up my alley as excercise goes.

Proud, I guess it means you'd be a lot bigger if you weren't such a wild/kinky lady

...
I'm looking at your posts more and trying to get used to the paddles, they are kinda cute. For a non-sadist, I sure love the handcuffs. M

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RE: Help to get in shape for spring! - 2/26/2005 6:17:13 PM

MsLisa

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Joined: 11/28/2004
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quote:

Italian chandelier............................2912 Calories

Okies...what exactly is the sexual position that is titled Italian Chandelier?

Never mind....saw the answer in the next post...that will teach me not to read ahead....

< Message edited by MsLisa -- 2/26/2005 6:18:27 PM >

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RE: Help to get in shape for spring! - 2/27/2005 3:47:00 PM

Darthbetta

Posts: 314
Joined: 12/16/2004
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http://store.yahoo.net/sexualpositions/chanposakait.html

with animations too

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RE: Help to get in shape for spring! - 3/2/2005 5:14:33 PM

MsLisa

Posts: 55
Joined: 11/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

http://store.yahoo.net/sexualpositions/chanposakait.html

with animations too

I was expecting Mickey and Minnie Mouse!

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Make sure that life is a rare entertainment!
It doesn't take anything drastic.
You needn't be gorgeous or wealthy or smart,
Just very enthusiastic! ~~~The Saga of Baby Divine

www.LovingLee.com

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RE: Help to get in shape for spring! - 3/2/2005 7:40:03 PM

GentleLady

Posts: 356
Joined: 2/1/2005
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Mercnbeth...that is priceless...thank you for the laughter

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