Am I a bad person?

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Am I a bad person? - 4/4/2005 5:46:56 PM

KarbonCopy

Posts: 456
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Okay, I'm really starting to feel absolutely terrible and I'm hoping that someone can talk me out of it lol.
This is the first time something like this has ever happened to me and I REALLY dont know what to think.

About a month ago, I met this girl and she started taking a liking to me, she knew that I was engaged, to my Mistress and as well liked her. She started talking about her fantasies about wanting to have a foresome with us, and the such her boyfriend and her and my Mistress and I.
They are both switches, and we are Mistress and slave.

Now this Is all fine and dandy, but both Mistress and I have really taken a liking to her, really wanting to make this happen.

The number one problem is that the other girl's boyfriend has had alot of bad experiences with these kinds of arrangments. Now this is different because we're all the way up in Alberta Canada, and they are in Florida.
And we are both in serious relationships, so there would be no "Stealing" fear that seems to come up alot.

At first we were kinda able to go "That would be so hot, but oh well the chances are incredibly small so lets just kinda forget aobut it", but now I'm really starting to be bothered by this, now let me explain to you why.

When Mistress and I first got together, I never had the chance to sleep with anyone else in my life, so naturally the thoughts of having threesomes and the like were very attractive to me. (that and well I'm just a horny little bugger)

Mistress is bi sexual and would also have like to do these things only she had a really big issue with sharing me. I can undertand that and didnt push it, of course slightly dissapointed that I'd never get the chance to experience these kinds of things.
After we met this girl, Mistress finally lost that worriedness about losing me to someone else, and realized that in the case of a threesome, I could become a tool, another toy, somethign she can use while enjoying herself. It wasnt about sharing her fiancee, it was just letting someone esle play with her toy.
This was almost a moment of triumph for me, as we both liked this girl and she liked us, there was only one thing stopping us from doing it, and that was her boyfriend.

Talk about a kick to the nuts.

We still talk to her and are friends, and she still likes us and we still like her, we just dong bring it up really because of those problems with her boyfriend.

Recently Mistress has had to leave town for a funeral, and has transfered control of me over to the other girl, she makes sure that I eat regularily and that I get stuff done, and generally keeps me in servitude emotionally so that I dont lose touch with it and become a rebel again lol.

Anyways the more I talk to my SubMistress, the more I keep getting these urges to want to have these little playtimes with Mistress and her. Lately she's been talking about the advances that her boyfriend and her are making in they're kinky bedroom play and I start getting jealous, but then I also feel like i'm slowly loosing all chances of this ever happening. I dont want it to, but this makes me feel kinda depressed, like I was so close and now its all being taken away from me.

It could also be paranoia but It seems like she's trying to avoid that side of things, yet not avoid them you know? Its like teasing. She loves to treat me like her slave, and order me around a put me in my place, but sometimes it feels like she's just losing intrest int me, and she really does like me. She keeps telling me about all these fantasies that she has about us having the foresome and watching Mistress play with me, and then being given permission to play with me herself and all that.

I know its horrible and I'm a bad person, but I dont know what to do. I keep feeling like this was my only chance.

What is wrong with me? Its causeing me distress, but I really like this girl. (no not more than Mistress but having both would be awsome)

I think I just need some advice. Im way to new to these things.

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RE: Am I a bad person? - 4/4/2005 6:21:49 PM

ShiftedJewel

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Have you talked to your Mistress about your frustrations? That would be my first suggestion, you need to also let her know that no one is going to take you away from her and that you devotion is total and complete. This is just something that you really wish to experience. You never know, it may be something lurking in the back of her mind as well.

You are not a bad person for wanting this, you are just as human as the rest of us.

Jewel

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RE: Am I a bad person? - 4/4/2005 6:50:46 PM

KarbonCopy

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Oh, no no, she wants it too.
Thats why its so frustrating, Mistress also likes her and wants to have the "get together"

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RE: Am I a bad person? - 4/4/2005 7:09:21 PM

Archer

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Having the fantasy and thinking about it alot doesn't make you a bad person.

The idea that you have been placed in the possition to be so sorely tempted is interesting to say the least. If done with forthought, then maybe it's another exercise in loyalty, if it's done without thought them it is a statement of trust in you not to act from your little head, but to think and be contrioled byu your bigger smarter brain.

Consider it another test of your morals, given either by your Mistress or just by life itself.

Being tested and tempted isn't what makes someone bad, not even seeing the moral question would be what made you a bad person, failing the test would make you human and passing it a good human being.

In Leather

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RE: Am I a bad person? - 4/4/2005 7:11:31 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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Let the girl enjoy her fantasies with you, continue to be a "safe person" to talk about these things with and encourage her as much as you can to explore with her boyfriend.

Anything else will lead to hurt, confusion, jealousy and more.

So you're feeling a bit left out. Understandable. But don't push HER just to get a bit of what YOU want. She seems to be handling things remarkably well with her byofriend and the LAST thing you want here is to make a move that will cause the boyfriend to backlash due to past baggage. If you pressure this girl in any way, it will backfire.

She's trusting you and enjoying you a heck of a lot, focus on that rather than a glass half-empty approach.

Not to mention, with the distance as it is? Find someone closer to enjoy too.

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RE: Am I a bad person? - 4/4/2005 7:13:42 PM

KarbonCopy

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So your saying that my desires are normal?

I'm not trying to think my little brain lol, I'm just . . . well. . thinking with my little head. lol

Ah gad damn you MOTHER NATURE!

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RE: Am I a bad person? - 4/4/2005 7:41:04 PM

KarbonCopy

Posts: 456
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From: Edmonton AB
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

Let the girl enjoy her fantasies with you, continue to be a "safe person" to talk about these things with and encourage her as much as you can to explore with her boyfriend.

Anything else will lead to hurt, confusion, jealousy and more.

So you're feeling a bit left out. Understandable. But don't push HER just to get a bit of what YOU want. She seems to be handling things remarkably well with her byofriend and the LAST thing you want here is to make a move that will cause the boyfriend to backlash due to past baggage. If you pressure this girl in any way, it will backfire.

She's trusting you and enjoying you a heck of a lot, focus on that rather than a glass half-empty approach.

Not to mention, with the distance as it is? Find someone closer to enjoy too.

Well the distance thing is the good part, we dont want it to be too awkward you konw? just try things out.

On the bright side, Mistress has started talking about desires to meet other couples, becuase its not like this couple is the only one for us.

I do revel in the attention that i recieve from her, and she loves it too. I do encourage her and her boyfriend, and I want them to be happy.

Yea I do feel left out, its sad. Its like a have a crush but i'm still deeply devoted to the love of my life.

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RE: Am I a bad person? - 4/18/2005 8:37:31 PM

FangsNfeet

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The answer is YES you are BAD. So bad that you need to be spanked. and not just spanked. I'm talken Spanked while hanging upside down wearing Large Spring Clamps on your nipples, gaged, blindfolded, chained in your rectul area, and spun around till your completly dizzy. Then be forced to watch and hear all of them go at it with you not getting any.

Are you happy now? You are BAD!

< Message edited by FangsNfeet -- 4/18/2005 8:39:11 PM >

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RE: Am I a bad person? - 4/21/2005 6:39:09 PM

ScooterTrash

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KC..I think your feeling are as natural as breathing. My suggestion is to simply convey your feelings to your Mistress and let her know you would certainly be interested should the opportunity come up with either this couple, or another individual. Sure, she would be able to use this as a tool, to tempt and tease you..so what, isn't that perhaps a good thing, she does after all have that power, but then again, your chances of being able to fulfill your fantasy may increase, because what fun is it to deny you something until you REALLY crave it...muhahaha.

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