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KarbonCopy -> Am I a bad person? (4/4/2005 5:46:56 PM)
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Okay, I'm really starting to feel absolutely terrible and I'm hoping that someone can talk me out of it lol.
This is the first time something like this has ever happened to me and I REALLY dont know what to think.
About a month ago, I met this girl and she started taking a liking to me, she knew that I was engaged, to my Mistress and as well liked her. She started talking about her fantasies about wanting to have a foresome with us, and the such her boyfriend and her and my Mistress and I.
They are both switches, and we are Mistress and slave.
Now this Is all fine and dandy, but both Mistress and I have really taken a liking to her, really wanting to make this happen.
The number one problem is that the other girl's boyfriend has had alot of bad experiences with these kinds of arrangments. Now this is different because we're all the way up in Alberta Canada, and they are in Florida.
And we are both in serious relationships, so there would be no "Stealing" fear that seems to come up alot.
At first we were kinda able to go "That would be so hot, but oh well the chances are incredibly small so lets just kinda forget aobut it", but now I'm really starting to be bothered by this, now let me explain to you why.
When Mistress and I first got together, I never had the chance to sleep with anyone else in my life, so naturally the thoughts of having threesomes and the like were very attractive to me. (that and well I'm just a horny little bugger)
Mistress is bi sexual and would also have like to do these things only she had a really big issue with sharing me. I can undertand that and didnt push it, of course slightly dissapointed that I'd never get the chance to experience these kinds of things.
After we met this girl, Mistress finally lost that worriedness about losing me to someone else, and realized that in the case of a threesome, I could become a tool, another toy, somethign she can use while enjoying herself. It wasnt about sharing her fiancee, it was just letting someone esle play with her toy.
This was almost a moment of triumph for me, as we both liked this girl and she liked us, there was only one thing stopping us from doing it, and that was her boyfriend.
Talk about a kick to the nuts.
We still talk to her and are friends, and she still likes us and we still like her, we just dong bring it up really because of those problems with her boyfriend.
Recently Mistress has had to leave town for a funeral, and has transfered control of me over to the other girl, she makes sure that I eat regularily and that I get stuff done, and generally keeps me in servitude emotionally so that I dont lose touch with it and become a rebel again lol.
Anyways the more I talk to my SubMistress, the more I keep getting these urges to want to have these little playtimes with Mistress and her. Lately she's been talking about the advances that her boyfriend and her are making in they're kinky bedroom play and I start getting jealous, but then I also feel like i'm slowly loosing all chances of this ever happening. I dont want it to, but this makes me feel kinda depressed, like I was so close and now its all being taken away from me.
It could also be paranoia but It seems like she's trying to avoid that side of things, yet not avoid them you know? Its like teasing. She loves to treat me like her slave, and order me around a put me in my place, but sometimes it feels like she's just losing intrest int me, and she really does like me. She keeps telling me about all these fantasies that she has about us having the foresome and watching Mistress play with me, and then being given permission to play with me herself and all that.
I know its horrible and I'm a bad person, but I dont know what to do. I keep feeling like this was my only chance.
What is wrong with me? Its causeing me distress, but I really like this girl. (no not more than Mistress but having both would be awsome)
I think I just need some advice. Im way to new to these things.
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