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weeding out the fakes


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weeding out the fakes - 1/9/2005 5:32:39 PM   
ladylady2005


Posts: 6
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline
To All...True lifestylers exclusively Dommes...I f you are like myself a true Domme and seek real time not cyber or the thrill seekers, I have an idea to make life a little easier.....I think it may be of help to us if we begin a list of names that turn out to be time wasters and fakes....Personally I am tired of wasting my precious time on such and nomatter what your profile reads it would appear still there are those who either cannot read, do not read or make no attempt to read our profiles.....It is true not everyone is a match and sometimes due to communication and learning about each other We find ourselves at polar ends needs, limits and desirability wise....However still in this lifestyle a sub/slave addressing or having contact with a Domme/Dom should always be honest and respectful without fail....If you feel this would be worthy and of use as a community please let me know....Those sub/slaves who will undoubtedly start saying "what a bout us, those who waste our time , i suggest you too think along the same lines.....Maybe i will get replies maybe not, but I know the true and real lifestyle seekers will see the sense and hopefully positive outcome of this...Yours Respectfully Lady
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: weeding out the fakes - 1/9/2005 5:37:35 PM   
GoddessJules


Posts: 549
Status: offline 		There are "loser lists" all over the internet (especially on Domina sites) and I think they are a HUGE waste of time. What is the worst that can happen to some guy that gets on one? Basically. . .the worst that can happen is that he will have the incovenience of having to get a new screenname.

But anyways, welcome to the forums.

J

_____________________________

A pig's pussy is still pork, just like a bull's balls are still beef.
Click here to visit my site

(in reply to ladylady2005)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: weeding out the fakes - 1/9/2005 5:39:50 PM   
stef


Posts: 1603
Joined: 1/26/2004
From: Boston, MA
Status: offline 		No offense, but since you're new here and have no history, how do we know that you're not one of those time-wasting fakes yourself?

~stef

_____________________________

Some people are like Slinkies. They have no practical use whatsoever, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

(in reply to ladylady2005)
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RE: weeding out the fakes - 1/9/2005 6:14:22 PM   
ladylady2005


Posts: 6
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		well in answer to you question....why would i go to the trouble if i was a fake...doesn't make much sense really now does it....and i may be new to the message boards dear but am not a new lifestyler....but encourage and appreciate your remarks

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: weeding out the fakes - 1/9/2005 6:27:30 PM   
smilezz


Posts: 489
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline 		Years ago i was put on one of "Those Lists" and here is what i make of them: I was put on that list because i did not feel it was necessary to be nice to every single person i happened to meet online. I have a very strong personality...i enjoy every single moment of life...i have a brain and use it....i do not call every Dominant i meet by their given NIC title of Master/Mistress...i called a few of these people on their own behaviors at the time. This is why i was put on the "List of Fakes". To this day i laugh...i choose to submit to One person only...i can be respectful of others, but that does not entitle you to anything else.
I am and have been a member of some great groups which i partake in...in r/l.....i have never been put on a "List of Fakes" within that circle or any other r/t people i have come in contact with.

I think people tend to get the wrong impression of a strong woman...one who also happens to be a slave too. Personally, i think this "List" will be/do no more than what it did years ago....Nothing. I will agree that it is to bad that there are players out there that want to do nothing more than pretend...but such is the forum of the Internet...unfortunately. You will just have to weed through until you find what is best for you.

~smilezz~



_____________________________

"Please excuse my Sense of Justice...it's the only thing that saves You from the Slaughter"

"What you cannot enforce, do not command - Sophocles"



(in reply to ladylady2005)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: weeding out the fakes - 1/9/2005 6:28:35 PM   
stef


Posts: 1603
Joined: 1/26/2004
From: Boston, MA
Status: offline 		You wouldn't be the first person to try and slander others under the guise of "protecting" users from fakes, dear. As for "sense", it usually has little to do with it.

Besides, blacklists aren't allowed here anyway, so it's a moot point.

~stef

< Message edited by sfgrrl -- 1/9/2005 6:30:25 PM >

_____________________________

Some people are like Slinkies. They have no practical use whatsoever, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

(in reply to ladylady2005)
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RE: weeding out the fakes - 1/9/2005 7:07:56 PM   
ladylady2005


Posts: 6
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		well aren't you just a bundle of joy...it means little to me that you chose to act like a playground kindergarten in your response...as i said in my message ONLY the real lifestylers maybe interested...i know how many wonderful enlightened people as your self there are who try to cause conflict...so this is all i have left to add to your negative prima donna responses

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: weeding out the fakes - 1/9/2005 7:13:04 PM   
ladylady2005


Posts: 6
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		yes i understand nothing is full proof....it was an idea and apparently not too well recieved ....well it is america so we all have the right to speak freely, however it saddens me and many more lifestylers to see those who play games giving us a bad name....thankyou for your input i apreciated it and respect your valid point

(in reply to smilezz)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: weeding out the fakes - 1/9/2005 7:25:16 PM   
stef


Posts: 1603
Joined: 1/26/2004
From: Boston, MA
Status: offline 		If by "real lifestylers" you mean people that agree with you, then no, I'm certainly not a "real lifestyler" by that mysterial definition. I'm guessing that you're going to find that most people here fall short of that lofty goal.

~stef

_____________________________

Some people are like Slinkies. They have no practical use whatsoever, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

(in reply to ladylady2005)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: weeding out the fakes - 1/9/2005 8:38:25 PM   
willing2serve


Posts: 381
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline 		Wow, we have the Goddess of BDSM among us now....Do we all sit in her judgement seat ? awaiting to see if our name is in her big book?

Have you ever assumed for one moment that someone's fake zirconia might be someone else's diamond...ever thought of that?

I'm certainly a diamond in the rough...and dont need a list to say otherwise, But if you truly feel you need a list to make you feel more of a "true" lifestyler...please feel free to add my name...A little advertisement may never hurt. The opinions of all that would read that list wouldnt make much of a difference on my submissive journey.

hmmmm, I am certainly getting close to writing that flaming post......smile

Respectfully,
Willing2serve1

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: weeding out the fakes - 1/9/2005 8:54:11 PM   
DaddyAngel


Posts: 18
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline 		Hmmm, isn't lifestyler what swingers call themselves? I've never heard anyone in the kinky community refer to themselves as a lifestyler. Veteran yes, seasoned player, yes,even kinkster, RL player, and BDSM-er, but I've never once, in all my 20 years in this community, anywhere in this country, heard a member of the kink community refer to themselves as a lifestyler. Something new every day...

(in reply to willing2serve)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: weeding out the fakes - 1/9/2005 9:47:20 PM   
shybutwilling2


Posts: 15
Joined: 1/2/2005
Status: offline 		I'm just shaking my head and biting my tongue on this one or that "flaming post" that willing talked about is going to be coming from ME...and to think...I USED to be shy and unassuming!!! lol

Shy an naughty hehe

(in reply to DaddyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: weeding out the fakes - 1/10/2005 1:45:03 AM   
SherriA


Posts: 553
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyAngel

Hmmm, isn't lifestyler what swingers call themselves? I've never heard anyone in the kinky community refer to themselves as a lifestyler. Veteran yes, seasoned player, yes,even kinkster, RL player, and BDSM-er, but I've never once, in all my 20 years in this community, anywhere in this country, heard a member of the kink community refer to themselves as a lifestyler. Something new every day...


It's actually pretty common, and has been for several yearsthat I'm aware of. I'm probably dating myself (ghads I'm getting OLD), but I remember when anyone making claims to the "lifestyle" almost certainly had no clue, so I have a gut reaction to the term. I always tell people that I have a LIFE not a lifestyle, and that I'm more than a collection of kinks. However, the terms lifestyle and lifestyler in reference to wiitwd certainly aren't uncommon, at least not in the circles I've encountered across 2 countries.

People these days generally use it to mean 24/7 or non-pro as opposed to casual/play relationships or professional sessions. Terminology seems to morph. Top and bottom used to be umbrella terms; now they're used almost exclusively to refer to sadists and masochists. Player used to mean someone who actually DID wiitwd as opposed to talkign about it; now it's seen as a derogatory descriptor. SM used to be the default; in recent years d/s terminology seems to have taken over, even when it's not particularly applicable. I can't keep up with all the changes!

And yes, swingers use the same term. Confusing, hm?

_____________________________

-- Sherri

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

(in reply to DaddyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: weeding out the fakes - 1/10/2005 3:44:07 AM   
theroebabe


Posts: 3150
Joined: 7/25/2004
Status: offline
Hi and welcome to the forums at CM!

Here on the forums we love to discuss all aspects of life and the lifestyle! However, lists like that are not permitted on the site, but people who are in the scene know each other and talk to one another even laugh here about some of the things the HNG have done, but do not name names.

So jump on in, the water is fine!



_____________________________

Roe

People always ask me why I do these things . . .
It's because I can!

(in reply to ladylady2005)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: weeding out the fakes - 1/10/2005 10:09:52 PM   
ladylady2005


Posts: 6
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		Dear all, I have enjoyed reading all your replies.
Although some what suprised at reactions. It is enlightening to recieve others views and thoughts.
It is incredible how offended people can get. You see my point was this. "Collarme", I believed to be a place for the " BDSM community to meet safely and socialise. I choose to join to be among like minded although obviously uniquely individual people. It is true as I stated nothing is full proof, but if there are no guidelines or lets say community spirit then anyone can and will abuse the people who are truly searching for a particular way of living. Now I know it is a free place, and I too enjoy new people and learning about different ways, ideas, view points etc. but AGAIN the chosen name for this place says to me that those interested in the "lifestyle" and it is a lifestyle, can meet like minded others. Anyway enough from me on this thread, maybe I will have more positive results when next I choose to leave a thread or reply.....Lady

(in reply to theroebabe)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: weeding out the fakes - 1/13/2005 12:37:27 AM   
LdyAuburn


Posts: 179
Joined: 5/9/2004
Status: offline 		Dont think it is actually possible to define 'real' my concept is guaranteed to be different to yours :)



(in reply to ladylady2005)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: weeding out the fakes - 1/13/2005 7:59:01 AM   
GddssBella


Posts: 143
Joined: 2/24/2004
Status: offline 		**Amendment - in reply to ladylady2005, not to LdyAuburn, silly me, replied on wrong portion of the thread.**


*chuckles*

Shall we first begin w/ the illiterate? Frankly, I was amazed. Although a Domme myself, it never fails to amuse me how uptight some other dominants in the "Lifestyle" are. Get a grip. If you've spent any time in the cyber world , there's one lesson to learn. Humans are a self centered breed of animal. No matter what you write in a profile, there will always be those that simply key in on a pretty picture & look to gratify their own base needs. Ugly, but true.

Here's a helpful hint: vent your bile in a short, scathing retort & then ignore the troll. Or not. Simply deleting & blocking the person works too. Maybe that will excise the poison that appears to be boiling up inside you. One of the lovely aspects of BDSM is that is adaptable to the needs of the individual. If my viewpoint differs from yours or someone else's, that doesn't make me any less "real". Nor does it validate my opinion. It's just that, an opinion.

I've spent enough time in the "real world" of BDSM to be secure in who I am & what I want. In the meantime, I've got a life to go live..... Have fun.


Bella

< Message edited by GddssBella -- 1/13/2005 8:03:06 AM >

(in reply to LdyAuburn)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: weeding out the fakes - 1/13/2005 8:56:40 AM   
SenorX


Posts: 142
Joined: 12/23/2004
Status: offline 		The idea of the entire process of Courtship is to allow both parties to the courtship to determine whether the actual potential for a contractual relationship to exist or not... be it because Oone of the parties may feel that the other is a fake, or simply because Oone feels that it just won't work out between both parties for other reasons indigenous to each particular case.

Best Regards,

X

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: weeding out the fakes - 1/14/2005 7:36:25 PM   
Darthbetta


Posts: 314
Joined: 12/16/2004
Status: offline
I am very real..... but I pissed off a total cunt who deemed me as a "FAKE" because I am a silly fucker.... They took it upon their self to include me on a list of this sorts a year ago or so..... Amazingly, they no longer are around, and have themself been "OUSTED"

I can understand the thread posters frustration, but ...

SUCK IT UP.

ps: good luck :).... theere is a big majority of the people I have met recently and they are very real. Just start looking for the "signs".. and you will find your tWue

EDIT: the posters profile does not exist.. LOL...... "couldn't stand the heat"


< Message edited by Darthbetta -- 1/14/2005 7:40:19 PM >

_____________________________

Some of us have an inane knack for calling people on their Bullshit... I just choose to retort with bitter dry Sarcasm, and occasionaly it sinks in.
MASTERBETTA1 on Yahell IM.
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: weeding out the fakes - 1/16/2005 6:41:18 PM   
phoenix52


Posts: 179
Joined: 12/9/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyAngel

Hmmm, isn't lifestyler what swingers call themselves? I've never heard anyone in the kinky community refer to themselves as a lifestyler. Veteran yes, seasoned player, yes,even kinkster, RL player, and BDSM-er, but I've never once, in all my 20 years in this community, anywhere in this country, heard a member of the kink community refer to themselves as a lifestyler. Something new every day...



i have heard people in my community call BDSM the lifestyle, now that you mention it i have never heard anyone call themsevles a lifestyler. They normally just say "dom" or "sub"; "master" or "slave". But i have heard it referred to as the lifestyle... maybe this is a regional thing?

(in reply to DaddyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 20
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