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verbal humiliation - 7/10/2004 3:44:09 PM

lookingwithin04

Posts: 48
Joined: 7/8/2004
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Has anyone ever experienced verbal humiliation, if so i was wondering if anyone would be open in talking about it, what is said, specific words that are used, how it makes you feel as a person, and as a submissive, also what words or phrases do you absolutely hate.

Master enjoys telling me that i am worthless, so that i will try harder to please Him more, it's not because i'm actually worthless but He wants me to sink into my place as a submissive, to submit further and to let me know that He is first in this relationship, to let me know that He is who has the control in the relationship, this actually has caused me to want to do things that i would not normally do in a D's relationship to expand my limits and to make me want to please Him more, but there was a time when i hated being called that, when i really believed that He ment it and didn't understand what He was trying to do. Now it's completely different, it still hurts me to hear those words but they are for a purpose and it doesn't hurt as much it makes me want to please Him even more, to prove myself over and over again if i have to and i absolutely love it in a really freaky way.

Has anyone ever experienced something like this?

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RE: verbal humiliation - 7/10/2004 5:57:13 PM

iwillserveu

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Joke: only a joke:

Yes, right before my divorce.

Oh you mean as part of a "scene".

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RE: verbal humiliation - 7/10/2004 10:55:25 PM

corsetgirl

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Joined: 5/22/2004
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Yes, I have experienced that in a vanilla relationship while being married to my ex-husband. That is one of my hard limits because anything that would remind me of him would only make me very angry.

Everybody is different and I feel communication, honesty and discussing these areas are very important for improvement of D's relationships. Some people enjoy this type of play and there are also various elements that can be explored.

(in reply to iwillserveu)

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RE: verbal humiliation - 7/11/2004 6:55:29 AM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1641
Joined: 1/1/2004
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lookingwithin04,

Sorry I did not mean to twist your thread off topic.

Anyone experience verbal humilation in a clearly negotiated setting?

There is a difference between a Domina saying, "I'm going to call you a worthless bastard" and my ex-wife yelling that as she throws a spatula at me.

corsetgirl,

Sorry to hear that, but I think I jumped in with the joke too early and accidentally started it in the vanilla direction. I did not want to stir up bad memories.

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When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

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RE: verbal humiliation - 7/11/2004 8:22:00 AM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1199
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu
Anyone experience verbal humilation in a clearly negotiated setting?

(Trying to help iwill get this back on topic.)

I enjoy verbal humiliation. Spending 8 years of mostly online and phone BDSM play, I probably found myself doing more verbal play than any other type.

Name calling can be fun; whore, slut, cunt (this one can be tricky, some love it, some find it a squick), and fucktoy are some of my favorites. I love to have a girl take one of those names and beg to be called it, as in "Yes, Sir, I am a fucktoy, a slut, and a whore...please Sir, call me a fucktoy." Hmm...yes.

I tend to avoid the whole "worthless" thing. I don't spend my time on worthless things, so I guess I see that as sort of degrading myself, but that kink is as cool as any.

Humiliation in general is quite a kink for me. Parading a girl wearing a collar with an attached leash held betwen her teeth, down the toothpaste aisle (was that aisle 6 or 4?) is one of my most reoccuring fantasies.

(Hope that helped.)

Yours,
Taggard

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RE: verbal humiliation - 7/11/2004 10:55:05 AM

Estring

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I agree with Taggard. Name calling is a blast. I give my slave names that she must refer to herself as. Right now she is "dirty little slut". I never call a slave worthless, but sometimes when ordering a slave to play with herself I will tell her to show me " all that she is good for ". I find that excites a slave to be thought of in that manner.

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RE: verbal humiliation - 7/11/2004 11:09:45 AM

dixiedumpling

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Joined: 5/10/2004
From: southeast Mississippi
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Verbal humiliation hasn't been a part of my scening. Been told i was a good cocksucker, but i thought He might have been giving me a compliment. Have had discussions about what would make me cry. My opinion is that verbal humiliation would bring me to tears before physical pain would. i think the word "whore" would do it if said often enough and i had to repeat it.

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RE: verbal humiliation - 7/11/2004 11:25:38 AM

Estring

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Even though it would bring you to tears, how would you feel? In my experience, many things that bring subs/slaves to tears also make them very wet.

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RE: verbal humiliation - 7/11/2004 11:39:55 AM

ThornBlood

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I aggree with Taggard and Estring
It can be great fun, and for some very powerful, especially over the phone.
I have never used the word "worthless" however.

John

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RE: verbal humiliation - 7/11/2004 1:10:58 PM

LadyAngelika

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Joined: 7/4/2004
From: Montréal - Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThornBlood

I aggree with Taggard and Estring
It can be great fun, and for some very powerful.

I say yes as well. And I've always felt that it is something to be negotiated. Some words are triggers. I know for one of my subs, she could handle anything but the word slut because her mother used to call her that. At first, it was impossible and in time, she called herself my slut and in the end redefined that word in her head. She was no longer the slut her mother saw but the slut I saw.

A lot of these games we play are to discover, and often they are also to heal.

- LA

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RE: verbal humiliation - 7/11/2004 4:27:28 PM

MizSuz

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I'm in agreement with Taggard regarding degradation. I don't play with shit so it's not likely I'm going to call someone I'm with that. I realize that is not the case for everyone and that's kewl too. Degradation simply isn't for me.

There is a big difference between degradation and humiliation, in my mind. To me, degradation is the act of telling someone they themself are not good enough (as opposed to they did something that wasn't good enough). Humiliation is taking their preconceived notions and using them to elicit specific responses. Since it involves the other persons preconceived notions and belief systems then the trigger words and acts will vary from one person to the next.

I've often said there are no cookie-cutters in this venue. At least there are none in my version of this venue.

< Message edited by MizSuz -- 7/11/2004 4:28:41 PM >

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RE: verbal humiliation - 7/11/2004 5:23:29 PM

MzBerlin

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My Dear Taggard-
It was aisle 4.
As Always
Berlin

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RE: verbal humiliation - 7/13/2004 2:27:46 PM

lookingwithin04

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to be quite honest i use to cry to when Master called me a whore, or worthless, or even a bitch. But i've found that the words whore and bitch are used to tell me something very personal, they are like His secret words for telling me how He really feels about me. Sometimes He will even put the word worthless with those words to make me realize that i am still loved and cared for(hint hint hint) as for the word cunt...i dont think i'll ever get use to that word, it's always made me feel so dirty, there was a time when i couldn't even say that or pussy they seemed so duragatory but now i'm starting to open up to those words a little more, that's something that He has put inside of me and made me a little more comfortable with.

Thank you all for responding Estring i definitly agree with you about when you were asking if it made her wet even though it made her want to cry. Whore use to do that to me, i always wanted to cry when He called me that, but after awhile it really started to make me wet, and i started getting wet just by thinking about how He says it to me. Am i sick or what?

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RE: verbal humiliation - 7/13/2004 2:29:49 PM

lookingwithin04

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here's an example of some thing that usually makes a submissive/slave cry but normally also makes her/him very wet.

a spanking, whipping, whatever you want to call it.

i can cry so hard, beg all i want for Master to stop but in my mind i'm saying holy shit this hurts and then when it stops i'm suddenly dripping wet.

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