sub's trying to make it work?

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sub's trying to make it work? - 12/29/2005 1:55:31 PM

bridgettecd

Posts: 1
Joined: 4/23/2004
Status: offline

I have been a sub cd for years. I have just gotten engaged this year and she knows I dress and that I am a sub. The problem is that she is submissive as well. I do not switch well; I have tried being the Dom and am not very good at it. How we do go about making this work for us? We both want to play and to include bondage in our life and sex. Any suggestions on how we can do this??

Thank you
bridgette

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RE: sub's trying to make it work? - 12/29/2005 5:16:02 PM

TeeGO

Posts: 55
Joined: 12/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bridgettecd

I have been a sub cd for years. I have just gotten engaged this year and she knows I dress and that I am a sub. The problem is that she is submissive as well. I do not switch well; I have tried being the Dom and am not very good at it. How we do go about making this work for us? We both want to play and to include bondage in our life and sex. Any suggestions on how we can do this??

Thank you
bridgette

Find somebody that can Dominate the both of you.

(in reply to bridgettecd)

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RE: sub's trying to make it work? - 12/29/2005 5:18:18 PM

LadyJulieAnn

Posts: 384
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline

I'm assuming because you have taken the step to be engaged that you have thought a bit about this situation already. How is your sex life going so far? What is working now? Perhaps focusing on how your partner enjoys being tied up will help you take on more of the "top" role. Look at it as more of a way to provide mutual pleasure to each other rather than taking on specific roles.

I wish you luck,
Julie

(in reply to bridgettecd)

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RE: sub's trying to make it work? - 12/29/2005 8:27:01 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 851
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Is your future wife also wiling to try topping you as much as you are her?

I'd say you either both need to compromise and try and fulfill both roles or find one or more outside tops. I recommend "The Ethical Slut" is you decide to go the outside partner route.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

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RE: sub's trying to make it work? - 12/29/2005 9:15:36 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 361
Joined: 9/4/2004
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Instead of seeing the role as a "top", you might approach it as which of you will be the service sub for the day, and do the work of all that tying. lol

Also, I've been approached by more than one submissive couple on this site. Perhaps you might search for and contact them to find out what they've done to make the sub/sub dynamic work.

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"Myths are public dreams, dreams are private myths." - Joseph Campbell

(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)

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RE: sub's trying to make it work? - 12/29/2005 10:01:42 PM

sothernnyte

Posts: 30
Joined: 11/22/2005
Status: offline

my girlfriend and i are both submissive. i have lifestyle experience, she has none.

it does get frustrating when you desire to be dominated. especially if the one you are with doesnt want to, or know how.

but if a relationship is good and solid, and open...things can still work. once in awhile i domme her and vice versa. and though it isnt as often as i would like, it is more than it was.

i agree with the suggestion of perhaps the two of you having a Dominant together. i am hoping to pursue that avenue eventually when things are at a more even keel. when things seem more and are more secure... as our relantionship is only a couple of years hold.

good luck. and i sympathize with your situation.
sothernnyte

(in reply to Misstoyou)

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RE: sub's trying to make it work? - 12/30/2005 11:29:35 AM

LadyTantalize

Posts: 176
Joined: 4/13/2004
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Ummm, one of this Domme's favorites - submissive couples and a CD too - ohhhh My Domme heaven to Me!

*smiles*

Truly,

Lady T.

< Message edited by LadyTantalize -- 12/30/2005 11:30:47 AM >

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Truly, Lady T.

Lady Tatiana Tantalize
Atlanta's Sadistic Southern Belle, Crossdressing Consultant, Punk-Rock Party Girl and Wicked SugarPuss
http://www.ladytantalize.net

"A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages."
-Tennessee William

(in reply to bridgettecd)

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RE: sub's trying to make it work? - 12/30/2005 6:26:17 PM

trueshadow

Posts: 38
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline

An all-too-common problem.

Try to do what you can to make it work. Goodness knows there are few out there you will care about as you do your girlfriend. Sex is only a small part of life.

I do agree with the advice in seeking a Domme you both can serve. Make sure you are both agreeable with your decision.

It's far easier to find a compatible vanilla partner than a kinky partner.

(in reply to bridgettecd)

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