SHOULD BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED ACROSS A BDSM FORUM OR BE IGNORED N ALL PERSONS TREATED AS VANILLA ?

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SHOULD BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED ACROSS A BDSM FORUM OR BE IGNORED N ALL PERSONS TREATED AS VANILLA ?

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> SHOULD BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED ACROSS A BDSM FORUM OR BE IGNORED N ALL PERSONS TREATED AS VANILLA ?

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[Poll]

SHOULD BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED ACROSS A BDSM FORUM OR BE IGNORED N ALL PERSONS TREATED AS VANILLA ?

BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED

51% (20)

BE TREATED AS VANILLA

48% (19)

Total Votes : 39

(last vote on : 7/27/2005 7:22:34 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

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SHOULD BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED ACROSS A BDSM FORUM OR B... - 5/21/2004 2:30:14 AM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2326
Joined: 1/1/2004
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_____________________________

♥I only need 4 kinds of Animals in My life♥
♥A Jaguar in My garage♥ ♥A Mink on My back♥
♥A few Lions in My bed♥ ♥A Jackass to pay for it all♥

♥~smiles evily~♥

Post #: 1

RE: SHOULD BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED ACROSS A BDSM FORUM ... - 5/21/2004 3:51:49 AM

Sinergy

Posts: 1290
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

Define "BDSM role"

I will not interfere with a Dominant in a scene.

I will not treat a submissive (or anybody else) like a doormat because they are a submissive.

I always request a submissive in a relationship to give my regards to their Master/Mistress.

Could probably come up with some other BDSM roles but Im a bit fuzzy as I worked all night.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"Why am I surrounded by fricking idiots?" Dr. Evil

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle, 44th Vice President of the United States

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

Post #: 2

RE: SHOULD BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED ACROSS A BDSM FORUM ... - 5/21/2004 3:58:18 AM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2326
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

BDSM ROLE=
Dominant
Switch
sub/slv

_____________________________

♥I only need 4 kinds of Animals in My life♥
♥A Jaguar in My garage♥ ♥A Mink on My back♥
♥A few Lions in My bed♥ ♥A Jackass to pay for it all♥

♥~smiles evily~♥

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 3

RE: SHOULD BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED ACROSS A BDSM FORUM ... - 5/21/2004 5:23:43 AM

indigo302

Posts: 66
Joined: 4/28/2004
From: Delaware
Status: offline

Please define "respected". By this do you mean all those associating as submissive addressing those who associate as dominant with titles and honorifics? Or is there something more to what you are expressing as "respect"? And what would we do about switches?

Is there not something between "BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED" and "BE TREATED AS VANILLA"?

How about we simply treat people as people?

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

Post #: 4

RE: SHOULD BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED ACROSS A BDSM FORUM ... - 5/21/2004 11:12:43 AM

proudsub

Posts: 3896
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

I try to treat everyone with the same respect, reguardless of their role. If my Master asks me to show more respect to a dom or domme then i will. For example He was upset about the grammatical correction i made for MistressDread and said i should of repected her position more, and btw He did punish me for that.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

Post #: 5

RE: SHOULD BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED ACROSS A BDSM FORUM ... - 5/21/2004 11:13:08 AM

Wolfspet

Posts: 89
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline

First, I think the problem would be coming up with one hard protocol to cover.

Then you are actually possibly disrespecting other Dominants wishes if you require anyone who identifies as submissive to address anyone who identifies as Dominat a title, if the Dominat chooses not to involve that protocol in his relationship.

* did that make sense *

Additionally I earnestly feel though all should be treated with polite coutesy, I respect a person, not a orientation.

< Message edited by Wolfspet -- 5/21/2004 1:26:14 PM >

(in reply to indigo302)

Post #: 6

RE: SHOULD BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED ACROSS A BDSM FORUM ... - 5/21/2004 11:24:50 AM

EStrict

Posts: 730
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline

I agreee with everyone else. Define roles? Your role in your life (generic you) is not your role in my life. Not agreeing with someone is not the same as being disrespectful. Goes back to the old YKINMK.

Just treat others the way you want to be treated yourself. After all, just because someone is a submissive or slave does not give everyone who catagorizes themselves as a dominant to be disrespectful of them while demanding respect in return. *You* may just not be the same in their eyes as you are in your own,,,

_____________________________

Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

(in reply to Wolfspet)

Post #: 7

RE: SHOULD BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED ACROSS A BDSM FORUM ... - 5/21/2004 12:37:25 PM

inyouagain

Posts: 427
Joined: 1/6/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolfspet
The nyou are actually possibly disrespecting.... (snip)

* did that make sense *

Not at all... and why are dragging my family into this?

Inyouagain

_____________________________

Careful with that axe, Eugene

(in reply to Wolfspet)

Post #: 8

RE: SHOULD BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED ACROSS A BDSM FORUM ... - 5/21/2004 1:26:48 PM

Wolfspet

Posts: 89
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline

All fixed..
Damn typing with a one year old on your lap....

(in reply to inyouagain)

Post #: 9

RE: SHOULD BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED ACROSS A BDSM FORUM ... - 5/21/2004 2:32:17 PM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2326
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

respected
proper acceptance or curtisy
of ones position
to express a positive guesture of position
to refrain from intruding apon chain of command position
to look apon the BDSM roles in social standing

Switches are always treated according to which
role they state they are in

_____________________________

♥I only need 4 kinds of Animals in My life♥
♥A Jaguar in My garage♥ ♥A Mink on My back♥
♥A few Lions in My bed♥ ♥A Jackass to pay for it all♥

♥~smiles evily~♥

(in reply to Wolfspet)

Post #: 10

RE: SHOULD BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED ACROSS A BDSM FORUM ... - 5/21/2004 3:09:12 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2245
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDREAD

respected
proper acceptance or curtisy
of ones position
to express a positive guesture of position
to refrain from intruding apon chain of command position
to look apon the BDSM roles in social standing

Switches are always treated according to which
role they state they are in proper acceptance or curtisy
of ones position

again, though, this depends on the personal protocal of the person invovled. i, for one, am not allowed to "defer" to someone on the internet, simply because they declare themselves Master/Mistress/Dominant/Top etc. it is against -my- dominant's rules.

in life, these rules are different, however with the anonymity of the internet my dominants think that to defer to -everyone- who claims dominance is just plain silly.

i know there are a lot of arguments about which protocal is "better" or "more correct." all i know is that i choose to live my life by the rules of my personal dominants. those rules include not defering to people over the internet unless spesifically instructed to by my dominants, but treating -everyone- with resepect as a person.

i hope no one on these boards will ever catch me being rude to -anyone- becuase that would be breaking -my- protocals, but polietly disagreeing even civily arguing with a master/mistress/top is not.

< Message edited by perverseangelic -- 5/21/2004 3:09:55 PM >

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

Post #: 11

RE: SHOULD BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED ACROSS A BDSM FORUM ... - 5/21/2004 3:55:41 PM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1641
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I will respond to the level of respect I'm given unless:
1) they earned it (from me - not by serving under somebody I don't know or is the master of a billion and a half slaves,)
2) I agreed to, or
3) if the person I agreed to orders me to.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

Post #: 12

RE: SHOULD BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED ACROSS A BDSM FORUM ... - 5/21/2004 4:01:51 PM

indigo302

Posts: 66
Joined: 4/28/2004
From: Delaware
Status: offline

I can have respect for the position of "dominant" while having little to no respect for the person who associates as such. I've met many both online and real life who have little to no understanding of what their position of dominant means...in my definition. And yet for them, it was a working definition.

Are we to bow down to any and all who attempt to present themselves as a dom or domme?

Even those dominants I respect, do not expect me to defer to them in everything. They expect me to be myself, to think for myself, and to know who I am, period.

quote:

proper acceptance or curtisy of ones position

People have different ideas of 'proper' when it comes to acceptance and courtesy ( ie: protocols). Whose definition of this are we to follow?

quote:

to refrain from intruding apon chain of command position

Chain of command position? I know what that phrase means, but I'm not sure I understand your use of it. Whose chain of command?

quote:

to express a positive guesture of position

Such as kneeling before typing a post in reply to a dominant? That would be obsurd!

indigo

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

Post #: 13

RE: SHOULD BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED ACROSS A BDSM FORUM ... - 5/21/2004 5:00:26 PM

SternMistress

Posts: 31
Joined: 4/3/2004
Status: offline

Interesting question, Mistress Dread.
IMO, I don't see the need for subs to take orders or defer to any Dom/me on a message board, except their own. Even in real time, I wouldn't presume to have a Dom/mes' defer to Me in any way, they don't belong to Me, therefore I have no authority.
I do expect good manners from all people all the time, bad manners are a pet hate of Mine.
In real time, if I need to address a sub that doesn't belong to me, I first check with the Dom/me that the sub has permission to speak freely, or I will send the sub to ask permission.

(in reply to indigo302)

Post #: 14

RE: SHOULD BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED ACROSS A BDSM FORUM ... - 5/22/2004 7:56:26 AM

ShadeDiva

Posts: 999
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline

I treat people as people. Period.

What someone's role is doesn't matter one iota to me unless I am considering interacting with them on a personal level.

Since that is unlikely on these boards on the majority - folks is just folks to me, and the titles mean squat and will NOT be recognized by me really whether I am in a dominant (or submissive- though that is unlikely as it is anyway LOL!) space.

If it bugs some dommies - tough.

That's THEIR baggage - they are free to lug it on their flight, lose it in the terminal of life, or check it to retrieve it later at some point - I really couldn't care much one way or the other.

lol

I'm here to find discussions, not stroke someone's cyber (or worse! r/t!) egos by mouthing shit I don't really feel or even care about.

~ShadeDiva, blunt as ever, LOL.

_____________________________

My projects of love:
theFetishForums
HumanFauna
Kinked
DommeWorld

(in reply to SternMistress)

Post #: 15

RE: SHOULD BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED ACROSS A BDSM FORUM ... - 5/22/2004 9:07:21 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 3834
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

As you already know I agree wit the masses. I treat people the way they treat me. Treat me well, I'll treat you well. Didn't most of us learn when we were children to treat others as we would like to be treated? Good lesson still stands today.

The only difference from when we were children to today is, we bring the lifestyle into it. I am a well respected person within my community. Although I don't expect that same sort of respect here. Nobody knows me. Why should I? If I earn someone here's respect that is a different thing.

I am also not a slave. My Dominant loves me for having a mind. If he loves me for having a mind, should I not demonstrate my mind wherever I go in life?

Roles are defined within each individual relationship. Not as a whole.

_____________________________

"The dumbest people I know are those who know it all."

Malcolm Forbes

(in reply to indigo302)

Post #: 16

RE: SHOULD BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED ACROSS A BDSM FORUM ... - 5/22/2004 9:09:35 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 3834
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Shade,
Doug asked me to respond to the prodigy day question. No, he was not any domly one back in those days. He actually chose that name..from a name I gave him 5 years ago. He was also only in the lifestyle 4 years prior to my meeting him. His regular online name is much different than the domly one.

Hope this helps to clarify. I did'nt know if I should e-mail you or not. Just as easy to respond here.

_____________________________

"The dumbest people I know are those who know it all."

Malcolm Forbes

(in reply to ShadeDiva)

Post #: 17

RE: SHOULD BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED ACROSS A BDSM FORUM ... - 5/22/2004 9:34:51 AM

ShadeDiva

Posts: 999
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

Shade,
Doug asked me to respond to the prodigy day question. No, he was not any domly one back in those days. He actually chose that name..from a name I gave him 5 years ago. He was also only in the lifestyle 4 years prior to my meeting him. His regular online name is much different than the domly one.

Hope this helps to clarify. I did'nt know if I should e-mail you or not. Just as easy to respond here.

quote:

Shade,
Doug asked me to respond to the prodigy day question. No, he was not any domly one back in those days. He actually chose that name..from a name I gave him 5 years ago. He was also only in the lifestyle 4 years prior to my meeting him. His regular online name is much different than the domly one.

Hope this helps to clarify. I did'nt know if I should e-mail you or not. Just as easy to respond here.

_____________________________

Have a splendid day,

Gloria

hehehe works for me.

Thanks for letting me know.

I find old friends in the most unexpected places, hehehe, so I just HAVE to check.

~ShadeDiva

_____________________________

My projects of love:
theFetishForums
HumanFauna
Kinked
DommeWorld

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 18

RE: SHOULD BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED ACROSS A BDSM FORUM ... - 5/22/2004 10:39:03 AM

indigo302

Posts: 66
Joined: 4/28/2004
From: Delaware
Status: offline

"prodigy day question"

We can't be talking about the days of Prodigy, when it was 1.95-2.95 per hour for hours and hours of endless chatting...<g>

And not the "Pseudo" Prodigy Chat rooms, right?

(in reply to ShadeDiva)

Post #: 19

RE: SHOULD BDSM ROLES BE RESPECTED ACROSS A BDSM FORUM ... - 5/22/2004 10:48:06 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 3834
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: indigo302

"prodigy day question"

We can't be talking about the days of Prodigy, when it was 1.95-2.95 per hour for hours and hours of endless chatting...<g>

And not the "Pseudo" Prodigy Chat rooms, right?

Yes, that we are. Shade asked my Dom..if he was an old friend based on the name he chose here.
Now, if she had asked me. There would have been a different response. Although, I can't say I remember what nickname I had back then either.

_____________________________

"The dumbest people I know are those who know it all."

Malcolm Forbes

(in reply to indigo302)

Post #: 20

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