a view on poly relationships

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Nuitarisalyssa -> a view on poly relationships (1/26/2005 1:26:03 AM)
this slut has had the best thing happen to her recently! she's been with her Master for a little over 7 months now, and though We've had a great relationship, alyssa has just gained a sister! she's just met the girl, and loves her dearly! alyssa thinks things will work out great for all of us. when alyssa was first collared to her Master, He made it known that He was poly, and though alyssa had never been in a poly relationship, she was explained He would treat both girls with equality. none of the high girl, low girl BS, as that is what begins a lot of jealousy between girls in a poly relationship. alyssa is 21, and her sister is 19, so we get along very well. our personalities are very different; alyssa is more shy, her sister is more outspoken, and due to that, it offsets our personalities and seems to make us that much more enjoyable to our Master. alyssa's Master has pointed out a few good qualities, and alyssa and her sister agree: ~there is someone else to help with chores, to ease the amount one has to do, and or someone to do them with which can make them more fun (winks) ~there is a companion around when Master isn't...a sister should be like having a best friend living with you ~alyssa has a child, so when she's sick there is also someone trustworthy to help out and care for the child when alyssa can't and Master is working ~and the girls should form a close relationship, not just with Master, but with each other of course the important thing too, is to try and have girls who's personalities are compatable with each other. and obviously, poly isn't for everyone, but, what's Your view on the matter?? respectfully posted~ His alyssa

domtimothy46176 -> RE: a view on poly relationships (1/26/2005 3:07:05 AM)
When I first collared my girl she was looking for a poly situation. The poly households she had interviewed with all held personalities that she didn't feel compatible with. We remain open to the possibility of bringing one or more others into the house but it will never happen unless we both agree that it's a good fit. I won't saddle myself or my girl with someone who isn't compatible, peace and tranquility are too precious. Timothy

Paulnz -> RE: a view on poly relationships (1/26/2005 3:09:11 AM)
OK opening a book on how long it will last, I say 6 months to a year at the most. When alyssa finds Master spending too much time with sister, alyssa gets very mad and runs off with milkman.

smilezz -> RE: a view on poly relationships (1/26/2005 3:11:12 AM)
I wish you luck and much peace..... ~smilezz~

domtimothy46176 -> RE: a view on poly relationships (1/26/2005 4:43:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Paulnz OK opening a book on how long it will last, I say 6 months to a year at the most. When alyssa finds Master spending too much time with sister, alyssa gets very mad and runs off with milkman. Is that cynicism rearing its ugly head or are you speaking from experience? Maybe you're saying that just because poly arrangements have worse odds than nilla marriages. Still, good planning and realistic expectations can go a long way toward making an endeavor less likely to fail. Timothy

Bigbossman4u -> RE: a view on poly relationships (1/26/2005 5:15:11 AM)
quote: I wish you luck and much peace..... can't add much more than that! Hoping it works out for all of you! I know I have issues juggling the attention of my three dogs.... not that i don't love them all equally.... but that's just me. best Joshua

sterlingsweet -> RE: a view on poly relationships (1/26/2005 6:02:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domtimothy46176 quote: ORIGINAL: Paulnz OK opening a book on how long it will last, I say 6 months to a year at the most. When alyssa finds Master spending too much time with sister, alyssa gets very mad and runs off with milkman. Is that cynicism rearing its ugly head or are you speaking from experience? Maybe you're saying that just because poly arrangements have worse odds than nilla marriages. Still, good planning and realistic expectations can go a long way toward making an endeavor less likely to fail. Timothy Yes, but come on...IMO that would take a wee bit longer than 7 months[&:]!

sweetpleaser -> RE: a view on poly relationships (1/26/2005 7:23:24 AM)
Congratulations, you sound very happy!! I wish you luck also.[:)]

ShadowKnight -> RE: a view on poly relationships (1/26/2005 7:35:34 AM)
greetings, Nothing says that a poly relationship won't work despite what a couple here apparently think. If you and your new sister can do as you have outlined then there is no reason that the relationship won't last indefinitely. Some do som don't. Just like any monogamous relationship whether mainstream or bdsm. Don't let the cynicism of others gainsay you or your family in what you are doing. Oftentimes the best road is the one less traveled. I wish you well in your endevours. Just My two tarn bits, ShadowKnight

ProtagonistLily -> RE: a view on poly relationships (1/26/2005 8:30:13 AM)
quote: greetings, Nothing says that a poly relationship won't work despite what a couple here apparently think. If you and your new sister can do as you have outlined then there is no reason that the relationship won't last indefinitely. Some do som don't. Just like any monogamous relationship whether mainstream or bdsm. Don't let the cynicism of others gainsay you or your family in what you are doing. Oftentimes the best road is the one less traveled. I wish you well in your endevours. Just My two tarn bits, ShadowKnight I totally agree with ShadowKnight here. However, I'm not personally cut from the cloth that Poly people are. I know myself too well...I'm a greedy bitch really LOL. I run with scissors and I don't always share nice in the sand box. That's my deal, and I act accordingly. I know people in Poly relationships that work. I know people who've tried it and watched the walls come tumbling in on them. I think, with everything we do, the most important thing is to know yourself, trust you gut and communicate. If something is important to you, like a poly relationship, then you will do what you have to do to make it work. I wish you and your family the best, Lily

Darthbetta -> RE: a view on poly relationships (1/26/2005 10:29:07 AM)
For a Poly to work, al the parties involved will need to understand what is going on and have an attraction. Further than that, there is no problems other than jealousy, hurt, and selfishness that need to be contended with.

Cyis75 -> RE: a view on poly relationships (1/26/2005 11:42:46 AM)
As I've gone through similar situations myself I can speak from my experiences. You say you and your master have been together for over 7 months now and have a great relationship. Neither I nor anyone else but you and your master can really judge that; however I will caution that having the primary relationship in an poly situation is vital. From my own experience I'd lived together for 2 years before getting married and then another year married with my first submissive. She was bi and very much wanted another female submissive to join us and we'd talked about it in great length. The marriage was rocky to be honest, but we mistakenly pushed on. We did finally meet another submissive who was around her age and the two of them got along spashingly talking daily online, so I offered to fly her out to meet for a week not expecting anything to come of it as I'd barely talked with her at this point myself. Turns out that we all three seemed to get along and there was a great deal of chemistry. After the week she went back home and the contact picked up in regularity and included long phone conversations as well and her planning to pay for her next trip out in a couple months. She did come out on her own for a longer visit which gave the appearance that things would work out so when she went back that time conversations were going about her moving out to live with us as as we had a second bedroom already. Long story short, the problems with me and my wife didn't get any better instead they got worse. The fact that she got physical when angry didn't help as it had also gotten worse. She and I are divorced now and have nothing to do with one another. The second submissive is still with me though. She had the choice to go back home and decided to stick it out with me through an ugly divorce. She and I do have a good foundation for a relationship that includes poly and D/s which has made life much more of a pleasure. While we're not actively looking for someone to join us again, lke timothy said, we're not against it but we're definately going to take things much slower and find someone that is compatible in all areas. Some may think I'm trying to discourage you and your new family, but it's far from that. I'm just relating personal experience that show it can both fail and work but it has everything to do with the people involved. Some think I shouldn't have brought someone in with the way the marriage was already and relate that to the demise of it; however, those people fail to realize I had brought up divorce a month after the first anniversary of our marriage but listened to friends that said give her a chance. Instead it was after 3.5 years of marriage before I did and the time before I finally went through with filing for divorce it was her sister who begged and pleaded with me to not have it end like this. 6 month later she was not trying to change my mind. I wish you all the best of luck... and the advice that you all keep communication a top priority. Jealousy will pop it's head up, we're all human after all, and it's not the emotion itself that is bad but how we deal with it. Jealousy is telling you that something is missing that you may not be aware of. If you can learn to listen to it and figure out what is missing and talk about it openly with your partners it can work. When you let it consume you without dealing with it and learning it can have devasting effects.

LdyAuburn -> RE: a view on poly relationships (1/26/2005 12:30:38 PM)
congratulations on your relationship, just curious though you say you are 21 and your new sister is 19. How old is your Master?

Paulnz -> RE: a view on poly relationships (1/26/2005 2:36:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domtimothy46176 quote: ORIGINAL: Paulnz OK opening a book on how long it will last, I say 6 months to a year at the most. When alyssa finds Master spending too much time with sister, alyssa gets very mad and runs off with milkman. Is that cynicism rearing its ugly head or are you speaking from experience? Maybe you're saying that just because poly arrangements have worse odds than nilla marriages. Still, good planning and realistic expectations can go a long way toward making an endeavor less likely to fail. Timothy Cynicism. I've never been in a poly relationship. Discussed it once with a woman who tried several and she says that in all cases the relationship ended when she exercised her option. It was all one way traffic. The only other poly I know of was a threesome on the West Coast ( South Island of NZ ). They all shared the same bed. It didn't work cos the women tried to edge one another aside all the time. The guy was one of the most frazzled individuals around. In theory it can work. Problem is there is a big gap between theory and real life.

garylee -> RE: a view on poly (1/26/2005 7:06:26 PM)
its one situation i am in right now. i am under a 30 day trial basis,......as a domestic and it is a poly house. being an only child,.......and a recluse on my own.....it is difficult to deal with someone else around constantly. garylee

Nuitarisalyssa -> RE: a view on poly (1/26/2005 10:47:41 PM)
thanks to Most who have replied here: Timothy, Cyis75, Darthbetta, ProtagonistLily, ShadowKnight, and Everyone else. when alyssa posted this she knew she'd get mixed opinions, so will take them all seriously...though Paulnz, alyssa feels...and just a slave's opinion here.....that Your post on how long the relationship will last, was not something that was asked...all alyssa asked what what the view on poly relationships were. just your two tarn bits, fine, but was not asked for. LdyAuburn, alyssa only feels the need to ask what the age of her Master has to do with anything..... alyssa means no disrespect towards Any, she asked for views and got them. thank You to All who have replied so far and offered their views, as well as good wishes. obviously poly isn't for everyone. respectfully posted- His alyssa

paintheory -> RE: a view on poly (1/26/2005 11:23:56 PM)
I think that people are either wired for poly or not. People either get jealous when they think of their partner giving and receiving pleasure to someone other than themselves, or they like it. There really isn't an in between, at least not for me. Me and my girlfriend have been with others with and without the other being there. The one thing that does not happen is that neither one of us ever hides it, because there is no reason to. That leads to problems. I think for your relationship to be successful, rules for the relationship have to be stated very clearly, and stuck to. For instance is master going to let the sisters play when he is isn't around. How will one of the sisters feel if master starts to spend more time with one than the other, even if it is not intentional it is very important on what perceptions will be. Again I am not discouraging your decision, I am just stating that communication of feelings will be paramount for this to work. Good luck in your endeavors. Thaine

LdyAuburn -> RE: a view on poly (1/26/2005 11:26:17 PM)
quote: LdyAuburn, alyssa only feels the need to ask what the age of her Master has to do with anything..... Experience, if he is 21 he may not have the life skills to cope with poly. Note I said may. He have been brought up in poly situations. Also someone 60 may have never done it before.

firefey -> RE: a view on poly (1/27/2005 12:04:42 AM)
in my experience, all idividuals in a poly relationship have to be poly. it's ok if one is new to it, but trying to make a monogomus person into a poly is asking for major trouble. and above all, communicate, communicate, communicate. also, ldyauburn makes a good point. i'm sure she's not trying to be sinde, just trying to help give you some perspective. a very young master isn't nessisarily going to know what to do the first time you and your sister get into a fight. and i'm not talking your basice, "you drank the last of the milk/ i'm pms-ing" fight. i mean the "i hate you and i wish you weren't my sister, you ugly stupid bitch" kind of fight. best of luck to all three of you.

Nuitarisalyssa -> RE: a view on poly (1/27/2005 12:36:25 AM)
alyssa's Master is 30. and Some speak of the poly as if it's one girl or another. all three of us will be living together. when Master isn't around we may do as we please after chores are done, etc. if that means playign with one another......woo hooo!!!!....so be it. there won't be time spent more with one or the other because we will be together with Him. just to clarify a few things.... His alyssa

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