RE: Regarding Emails and Courtesy (Full Version)

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mimi -> RE: Regarding Emails and Courtesy (2/7/2004 4:55:03 PM)

I generally respond to almost everyone who contacts me, though the mail that looks more like an IM falls into a different category - a message that says "hello" and nothing more isn't likely to get a response other than a delete.

I agree with the others who said that deleting without even reading is rude, though I do understand that there are times when life is too busy to allow us to keep up with email in all the places we get it.

mimi



MistressDREAD -> RE: Regarding Emails and Courtesy (2/9/2004 6:09:08 AM)

CHOOSES TO POST MY OWN ADVO, WELL JUST BECAUSE....
(looks up at MODII with My Most inocent wicked smile)

MISTRESS SEEKS SLAVES!!BLACK HAIR, BLACK EYES,
6'-290LBS BBBW SADIST POLY DOMME NEEDS SLAVES.WILL
BE 24/7 IN REAL LIFE LONGTERM BUT IF OVER THE INTERNET
IS ALL YOU SEEK WELL I SUPPOSE I COULD FINANCIALLY,
SEXUALLY,MENTALLY,SPIRITUALLY,PHYSICALLY DOMINANT
YOUR EVERY MOMENT. SLAVES WILL WITHOUT A WORD
DO ANYTHING AND EVERY THING I SAY AT ALL TIMES TO
BE GIVEN THE PRIVILEGE OF MY PRESANCE ON LINE OR
BE GIVEN THE CHANCE IN REAL LIFE 2 SERVE. CONTACTS WILL BE
THRU HERE ON COLLARME.COM AND EXPECT TO GIVE UP
EVERYTHING IN YOUR CURRENT LIFE BE IT SOCIALLY OR
MATERIALLY TO BECOME MY POSESSION AND EARN THE RIGHT
TO SERVE ME. MY NEGOTIATION FORMS(CONTRACTS) ARE
EXTENSIVE AND THROUGH AND MOST WILL BE A BINDING
CONTRACT FOR VOLUNTARY SERVITUDE (DOMESTIC EXTREAMIST)
IM NOT LOOKIN FOR LOVE OR MY *ONE SO DONT THINK IT WILL
BE YOU BECAUSE IT WONT. I HAD A LOVE OF MY LIFE ALLREADY
IN A MASTER OF 27 YEARS AND BELIEVE ME YOU WILL NOT BE
FILLING HIS SHOES EVER AS A sa ms. IF YOUR YOUNG,DUMB,
AND FULL OF CUM WITH A NEED TO BE BROW BEAT AND SUMONE TO
SPEND ALL OF YOUR PAYCHECK WITH OUT SEEING ME,IM YOUR GAL,
AND I KNOW THAT ALL OF YOU worthless peon slaves are out
there looking for ME male and female, SO GET YOUR ASSES
ON HERE AND WRITE,MT HAIR AND NAILS NEED TO GET DONE TODAY.
P.S. ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU IN
A COURT OF LAW......................HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! BEEN
THERE DONE THAT!!Here is My question to this Board....
NOW WHAT slave OR sub WOULDENT JUST ADORE ME OWNING THEM??
(drops this here while sticking My tongue out at ShadowHwk
whom seems to be playing in the same schoolyard I do alltho
at oppisite ends of the playground and goes in running down the
collarme.com hall to General posts to find where else Im
suppose to drop this as well...scrolls up to read saphires
directions again so I make sure that I am in the least A
consistant Sadist.)



hisbijou -> RE: Regarding Emails and Courtesy (2/12/2004 5:52:09 PM)

when someone does not reply to one of my e-mails, i find it is a quick way to eliminate a person. even if i am not interested in establishing a friendship with someone, if they have taken the time to write me, i feel obliged to acknowledge and thank the writer. this has been a beautiful site to me, very helpful and friendly.
bijou



philurdesires -> RE: Regarding Emails and Courtesy (2/17/2004 1:02:05 PM)

Perhaps I have an entirely different perspective as a submissive, but if a domme choses not to respond to my e-mail, I may be mildly disappointed but I fully understand that dommes don't do things to please submissives; submissives do things to please dommes. If a domme is interested in establishing communications with me, I feel it's wonderful, but even as a sub I surely don't want to communicate with a domme that just doesn't appeal to me, so why should anyone expect a domme to communicate with anyone (Dom or sub) that they have no interest in?
It's just one opinion, but I've always felt that courtesy is an optional thing for dom/mes, yet mandatory for subs/slaves - and I don't have a problem with that!



dizzylizzy -> RE: Regarding Emails and Courtesy (2/17/2004 5:34:06 PM)

Hi

As someone new to the site, I think it is a volume and repulsion thing. Also, expecting a reply to an unsolicited email is a bit optimistic. You could argue that by having a profile that you are soliciting emails but to me that is like saying that having a phone is soliciting telemarketers. Yes there are people that I am interested in and I welcome emails but am not likely to reply to them all. Just as I don't expect all of my messages to get answered by someone with whom I have no prior relationship or introduction.

Here are some specifics on unanswerable messages.
I get some emails that the only appropriate response would be "F*** You!"

And I get a lot of "Hi", "Want to chat?" and "Got anymore pics?" one-liners that frankly do not deserve a reply.

Sometimes I am busy so it may take me a while to get back to someone; when that someone puts pressure on me or sends me another message that indicates that they don't remember sending the original, then I don't bother replying figuring that they are just trolling for whatever they can find or are just too impatient.

And, like SherriA, I have had bad experiences with telling someone that I am not interested in meeting or chatting or whatever, so that is often a reason to just delete a message. A lot of people (most of my experience is with men but I don't want to generalize) can get quite nasty.

quote:

The courtesy of a reply is expected, even if to simply indicate disinterest.


See, this for me would absolutely NOT get a reply; you have no right to "expect" anything to come of an unsolicited email. I have no obligation to a relative stranger. If that makes me rude, then so be it.

I would generally take a non-response as a lack of interest and move on.

Liz



inyouagain -> RE: Regarding Emails and Courtesy (2/17/2004 11:27:49 PM)

quote:

You could argue that by having a profile that you are soliciting emails but to me that is like saying that having a phone is soliciting telemarketers.


How about ''that is like saying":
- having a car is soliciting an accident?
- having an eye is soliciting blindness?
- having a vagina is soliciting rape?
- having a burger, or wearing leather or fur is soliciting brutality to animals?
- having a shiesty lawyer is soliciting justice?
- having medical insurance is soliciting illness?
- having a spouse is soliciting offspring?
- having one vote is soliciting democracy?

Not a guarantee in the list. By placing a profile on a BDSM personal's board, yes it would appear to many that you are in fact soliciting input from interested parties. However, just as in all the items I listed above, you get exposed to both the good and the bad.

Nothing is different here. If you don't like receiving mail, delete all the info in your profile, change your age to 72 or more, and your height to 3 feet or less... make yourself less appealing or interesting to the trolls and wannabes (and real interests).

It's not simply an issue of respect or protocol. I answer courteous and informative messages and ignore one-liners, but I don't make the good messages I receive suffer for the bad ones either.

Take it message by message... handle them according to their merit.

Imagine not getting any messages at all... or even any phone calls during sex?



Sorostitute -> RE: Regarding Emails and Courtesy (2/24/2004 10:55:00 PM)

I don't reply for most of the same reasons already listed.

Sometimes the content is inappropriate and I don't want to encourage it.

Often I get propositions to become someone's 24/7 right of the bat, and to me, that does not seem worth of a response. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to know me first.

Other times the sender has neglected to read my interests, and I feel like I have been very specific in what I am looking for.

just my 2cents.



painfulsadist -> RE: Regarding Emails and Courtesy (2/27/2004 1:44:02 PM)

I can understand when a dom emails a sub and is rude, nasty or insulting or the dom has not read the subs profile BUT how about those subs that email first, then when , emailed back continue to send emails for one or two more times and then stop cold? How about those subs that respond to the Doms FIRST email asking for more info and then never write back after that?



sweetieboop -> RE: Regarding Emails and Courtesy (2/28/2004 6:32:09 PM)

I agree with Sherri and don't think she is being rude at all. When I first started on the internet, I tried to respond to everyone that wrote to me. Then I started getting hundreds of emails and at least half of them were from people that didn't match my profile at all. Then I changed my profile to say please don't write to me if you are this type, age, etc. and I STILL got emails from people that obviously either didn't read my profile or didn't care what I wrote. Finally, I put in my profile, "IF YOU CLEARLY DON'T MATCH MY PROFILE, DON'T EXPECT A RESPONSE." However, I read ALL of my messages and respond to anyone who is just asking a question, trying to be friends, close to what I'm looking for and thinking there might still be room for me to consider them, etc. The only email I won't respond to is the people that are rude or nasty and the people that seem like they didn't even read my profile and are trying to start some kind of relationship. I mean that if I say I'm 36 and like older men and a 21 year old is writing to me trying to convince me that age is just a number, sometimes I will just delete it. I've gotten a lot of rude responses to responding to people saying something like, "I'm sorry but I'm not interested in being with a switch, I'm looking for a Dom. Thank you for your interest and good luck in your search." I don't think that there is anything wrong with what I said and they'll write back saying, "F--k you." I don't understand that. Some people think that because I'm submissive, I shouldn't have a choice of what or who I'm looking for and I should bend my desires to please any Dom that contacts me. I don't understand that either. Anyway, I just thought I would put my two cents in. :)
quote:

Sometimes I am busy so it may take me a while to get back to someone; when that someone puts pressure on me or sends me another message that indicates that they don't remember sending the original, then I don't bother replying figuring that they are just trolling for whatever they can find or are just too impatient.

I just wanted to say that there are times when I don't remember talking to someone or what we talked about because I have a problem with short term memory. Something to consider. :)



iwillserveu -> RE: Regarding Emails and Courtesy (2/28/2004 7:57:44 PM)

Old post SherriA, but I'll reply anyway.

I've said this a thousand and one times and I'll say it again. If I put a face shot on my profile I WILL be fired. Not may, but WILL.

As for the genitals, I used to have a bare chested only shot. I still got the "On your kness, bitch" e-mails from idiots who though I was a hairy, flat chested, submissive woman. You know how annoying that is and how effective a profile that says "I"M A GUY!" would be at preventing that. The penis stops that and if women who can't see past that are offended, no loss. (I assume it is the way you feel about people not into feathers stuck in somebody's back so they never read your profile and actually get to {gasp} know you.[:)])



yearning -> RE: Regarding Emails and Courtesy (3/17/2004 6:04:27 AM)

sherri very well said



feline -> RE: Regarding Emails and Courtesy (3/17/2004 9:00:02 AM)

To put it quite simply, i respond to all messages that are sincere and respectfull (in my eyes) Anything i find offensive i ignore. Just like spam.

[image]local://upfiles/17000/Da831707746.jpg[/image]



iwillserveu -> RE: Regarding Emails and Courtesy (3/17/2004 1:49:15 PM)

SherrieA,

I guess you think your best feature is the wings inserted in your back. I find it hilarious that you judge people by their picture and demand no one has the right to judge you.

Doc,

I know your pain. I have never sent a one line message and I have read profiles. Still My reply rate is about 10%. My advice? Give up. (That'll lessen my competition.:))

Seriously, It does not matter how many don't reply; it matters who does. After all, Do you really want a rude idiot?



sweetieboop -> RE: Regarding Emails and Courtesy (3/17/2004 2:32:35 PM)

I've been holding my tongue for a while now about telling you this iwillserveu, but I feel that I can't keep it to myself anymore. I don't understand how you can call yourself a sub. You don't seem to have any respect for Doms/Dommes and you're always attacking people for their opinions and choices (from what I've read). For example, if Sherrie feels that she wants to judge someone by their picture, that's her choice. Maybe she doesn't want to get involved with someone she's not attracted to. Maybe she wants to see a picture to find out if the person is who they say they are. I know that I always want to see a pic now because I have been deceived by people before. If I get a pic and then when I meet them, they are not the same person, then it's their fault not mine if it doesn't work. I also like to see a pic because I talk to so many people that I like to get a picture in my head of the person I'm talking to and I have a memory problem to memorize all the descriptions of everyone I talk to. My point is that you don't know what reasons people have for their choices and shouldn't tell people that they're not entitled to them. I just went back to read Sherri's post to see if maybe I misunderstood something. However, she said that she doesn't answer people who send her penis pics because she finds it offensive. She also stated that she first sends a polite reply before she deletes emails from people. I don't see anything wrong with that. I know this is none of business (which is why I haven't said anything before) and I'm not trying to speak for Sherri (please excuse me if I've offended you Sherri) but your attitude just really got on my last nerve. I have worked very hard at learning to be respectful (whether it's to my Master or any other Dom/Domme) and I find it offensive that you call yourself a sub when you have so much disrespect for people.



SherriA -> RE: Regarding Emails and Courtesy (3/17/2004 3:17:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

SherrieA,

I guess you think your best feature is the wings inserted in your back. I find it hilarious that you judge people by their picture and demand no one has the right to judge you.




Actually, what I love about that particular picture is the expression on my face. The wings just happen to be there. *shrug* And who said no one has the right to decide whether or not they want to respond to me if they're offended by that photo? Certainly I didn't say that. If I did, please do find the reference and quote it to me, would you?


quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu
I have never sent a one line message and I have read profiles. Still My reply rate is about 10%.

If you're anyhwere near as combative in your emails as you are on these message boards, I'm surprised you get even that many responses. Perhaps you should consider yourself lucky.



-- Sherri



inyouagain -> RE: Regarding Emails and Courtesy (3/17/2004 4:37:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu
... After all, Do you really want a rude idiot?


Could this be one of those so called 'monumental revelations of self-discovery'?

there may be hope...

Inyouagain



Bent -> RE: Regarding Emails and Courtesy (3/18/2004 8:43:20 PM)


I recieve alot of email and answer everyone.
Here's my complaint and I think it is legitimate. This person sent me and email and told me to 'get my FAT ASS' off here (collarme) because 'we' are tired of seeing it.
Ok, my ass is fat but he needs to get out of the house more because I am sure there are fatter ones around. I have no idea why this user singled me out but he did, so I tried to reply and ask him if I had done something to offend him.....not that I really care, I asked him what I did to offend him and tried to send it to find out he blocked me. I guess that's his bag not mine.
Secretly I wish I knew his email address and I would find pic's of every fat ass I could and email them to him on a daily basis.....is that bad (wink)

bent



MistressKiss -> RE: Regarding Emails and Courtesy (3/19/2004 10:45:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DocHolliday

When I am emailed from someone, I read the email and take a moment out of My time to answer back. It only takes a second, and its no big deal.
Why is it that so many people on sites like this one either neglect to reply at all, or simply discard your email without bothering to read it?
I mean, we came here, and filled out profiles because we wanted to get to know some more people, right? Is it not poor manners to blow people off? Am I wrong?



Nice name, Doc...

I agree that one should at least send an email out of courtesy to say whether they are or are not interested. The only exception to that is a stupid "age/sex/location" email. GOD, I hate those. I usually reply with something smartassed.

If it is a nicely written email that is openly, honestly submitted, it deserves a response.

[image]local://upfiles/10574/Qo398901349.gif[/image]



iwillserveu -> RE: Regarding Emails and Courtesy (3/19/2004 4:51:15 PM)

(I apologize when I'm wrong. I will never apologize when I'm right.)
SherrieA,

My mistake. You said respond to, not read. I apologize.

inyouagain,

That was in reply to a Dom and the ownership was for a Dom. If I offend a Domme, so? Do I want to be owned by an idiot? If she does not understand me do I really want to spend my life explaining myself to her?

Sweetiebop,

I'll explain. I'm not opposed to SherrieA making her own choices.

As for my "not being submissive enough", thanks for your input. I mean that. I'll ignore the advice to change who I am to attract the ideal woman for me. (That way lies divorce court.:)) However, I do appreciate your opinion and think you should always be able to state it openly.



iwillserveu -> RE: Regarding Emails and Courtesy (3/19/2004 4:56:07 PM)

Bent,

Your ass is OK. Don't let one idiot get you down. As a former fat guy I know it is not easy, but don't let it get you down.



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