RE: opinions on marriage

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All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> RE: opinions on marriage

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[Poll]

opinions on marriage

1 Man and 1 Woman

35% (21)

1 Man and 1 Woman but side dishes are good

25% (15)

Poly is the way to go

15% (9)

1 Man and 1 Woman and 1 lesser companion

3% (2)

I'm never getting married

18% (11)

The law says I cant be married cause I'm gay

1% (1)

Total Votes : 59

(last vote on : 1/23/2006 11:20:03 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

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RE: opinions on marriage - 11/4/2004 9:57:53 PM

ericdc

Posts: 1
Joined: 10/31/2004
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I think if we want to discuss 'Marriage', it's a different conversation than relationships. Marriage is a spiritual, and now a legal definition. We all know there are good marriages and bad ones....and no legal sanction is going to change that.

While all of the religions you mentioned have values that, if followed, are good for the people in relationships and society. But as you stated, they also brought us intolerance for other people and views.

I don't think it is as important to 'define marriage' either legally or spritually as it is to encourage what is good for people and society. I'm certain there are polyamorous relationships that are better than many marriages. I'm also sure there are some that are abysmal. It's what's working for the people in the relationship that counts.

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Post #: 21

RE: opinions on marriage - 11/10/2004 6:22:56 AM

srahfox

Posts: 259
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline

I am in a marrage with I man that I love and hope I can spend the rest of my life with. That being said. I don't think anyone who wants it should be denied it. My best friend (An first lover) and I were talking about gay marrage once and she was the first one who said to me she just wanted to be able to see her wife in the hospital if something should to her. Could you imagine that, being with someone for years, they are struck by a semi one morning and die in the hospital alone. You couldn't see them because you aren't family. that's terrible. Granted in many of the states you can draw up docs that say so and so can visit me in the hospital, so and so get's all my stuff, but it's not cheap.
As far as poly, go for it, why should I care? It's not my life and as long as it's not hurting anyone why should it matter.
Were do we draw the line at telling who can and can't marry? I've meet people who think that people of differnt races shouldn't marry. I have a friend who's family has dissowned him because he's marring a white girl.
I could share my husband with someone, but she'd have to be really special someone we could both love.
I do try to live my life treating people as i would want to be treated, that's why i had to stop doing retail, I go so sad and tired of people treating me subhuman. But then they would have a nice pretty cross around there neck after they just yelled at me for fifteen minutes for something I had no control over. Not very christianly I think.

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Post #: 22

RE: opinions on marriage - 11/11/2004 5:53:02 AM

IndySubPrincess

Posts: 34
Joined: 7/23/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline

Hehehe, adding my two cents, yet again...

I am extremely liberal. I think that whatever people do in their own homes is completely and entirely up to them. If it doesn't infringe on my rights and my pursuit of happiness, more power to you. I could NEVER be IN a poly relationship, or a swinger relationship. That's just something I could never do, but I don't think any less of the people who do... Except in how it is handled with children. I mean, children lose their innocence sooooo early anymore, I would hate to do anything to hasten that change in my own daughter. I lost my innocence waaaaaaaay to early. :) Maybe that's why I'm an infantilist. Who knows...

Anyhow, back to the original point, it's none of my business what you do in your own homes, and I can't take a stand on the marriage issue.

YoungLady/IndySubPrincess

(in reply to cheeba0228)

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Post #: 23

RE: opinions on marriage - 11/15/2004 7:51:52 AM

masterwarder

Posts: 9
Joined: 11/1/2004
Status: offline

If you thought that the way people responded on this forum is of thought not actual deed you would figure out the indeed that to be open minded is to try ANYTHING and see and know...I have read the posts and for the matter of not being open minded...frankly the ones who admonish the fact are the ones who are in need of alot more reflection... For those of you who had a wide vareiety of intersting points to say to continue on (not necessarily in my apparent el blotto mind) but the summation of marriage and polys..Thank You for serving out more thought than I could at the time to make myself clear on this....For one who is married and who has done polys before marriage I do believe it gives a hint of alot more open mindedness than most who would oppose. After talking with a variety of different people and have read more post on the subject I would say that my original post was far from "clueless" as someone standardly pointed out. If the partner knows that and agrees to a poly when they are married then it is the mere matter that it can be harmonized. The point of failure exhists when the competitive nature kicks in . There are a professional Dominant couple that have a slave and multiple at and in an very amicable poly relationship.If the psychology is not there or cannot be obtained then the failure is enevitable. Those that find it disgusting are those who or whom had the bad experience or no trust,
For Whomever took a "potshot" at my name go right ahead and do it often if you like to.....For each of us have our names to reflect who were are..For those of you who are handfasted and such would now what a warder is insofar as "Master" to attach to it is under quite the scrutiny.....There are to dominants in this family and Master and Mistress barring that there are as I have stated before asexual relationships for whatever the reason is......I in fact do not think there is anyone that could define. That is why my opinion ,freethought, still stands today! Call it closed mindedness if you must..(but for those who took the matter into more extra thought and broadened it TY again)

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Post #: 24

RE: opinions on marriage - 11/16/2004 8:50:25 PM

leomaster2

Posts: 9
Joined: 3/5/2004
Status: offline

I think a successfull marriage is what the partners make of it. If all the parties are willing to work at keeping the relationship alive, are able to forgive themselves and others for their mistakes, and will always treat each other as best friends, then any combination can work.

As far as the institution of marriage, it seems fairly simple to me.

If its the religious aspects we're talking about, then shouldn't the spouses beliefs determine what marriage means?

If its the financial, property, etc. aspects we're talking about, then the governments of the world should limit themselve to defining the rights, obligations, etc. and let the spouses determine the makeup.

Bottom line for me is that people are going to do what they choose to do, so we would be better off opening the definintion and legal aspects to encompass what is actually happening, as opposed to trying to support some tissue-thin defninition that excludes one type of marriage in favor of another type.

If three men live together, share property, expenses, love each other, and two of the men have children living at home, what is this relationship?

Pogue's Law: If it looks like a duck, smells like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then you better damn well CALL IT A DUCK, or else you're just using two words to describe the same concept.

(in reply to cheeba0228)

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Post #: 25

RE: opinions on marriage - 11/16/2004 10:10:22 PM

TaurusMCMLVIII

Posts: 88
Joined: 1/20/2004
Status: offline

Although I voted it doesn't reflect my true opinion being that marriage should be between 2 people who are in love and want to devote their lives to each other no matter what their orientation is.

BTW, I was tempted with the "side dish" option but that should be left as an optional side note and not automatically built into every marriage "contract."

(in reply to cheeba0228)

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Post #: 26

RE: opinions on marriage - 11/20/2004 8:08:08 PM

Kwix

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/26/2004
Status: offline

I know that I am chiming in a bit late on this thread, but I have to voice my $.02 (USD). I feel that marriage is a union between fully informed individuals. 2, 3 or 20 the number of people involved should not matter. Reality says that more than 3-4 is hard to balance, but under the correct circumstances it may work. I also feel that the government has no right to step into my life regarding this. Banning gay marriage, outlawing polyamory, forbiding inter-racial unions is all the same in my eyes. The government needs to step out of my bedroom, out of my house and realize that so long as what we do as a union of consenting adults harms nobody outside of the union, then they have no business in my life. This view applies to BTW to marriage, sexual perversions, recreational drug use, etc. As a fully informed and consenting adult, I should be able to smoke a pipe, have anal sex with my wives and husband, and do so without fear of government retaliation.

Sorry for the longish input there. For those whom I may have offended, sorry but my opinion was solicited and it was given.

Kwix

(in reply to TaurusMCMLVIII)

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Post #: 27

RE: opinions on marriage - 12/17/2004 6:07:08 PM

DiamondDiva

Posts: 219
Joined: 10/10/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

One man One woman? enough said.

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RE: opinions on marriage - 12/18/2004 3:09:59 AM

rubytuesday

Posts: 180
Joined: 10/22/2004
Status: offline

Still have to say I prefer the options here in NZ with the passing of the Civil Union Bill through Parliament - now hetero and gay couples can register their relationships legally and have the legal and financial benefits usually only afforded to those who have married.
IMO marriage is over rated - having been with one partner till death us did part and now 6 months out of a controlling marriage (and controlling in all the wrong senses of the word) I will be getting into a relationship I can register and make legal but thats going to be my limit......this is JMO......

smiles
ruby

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Post #: 29

RE: opinions on marriage - 12/18/2004 8:00:49 PM

Solaise

Posts: 29
Joined: 11/29/2004
Status: offline

quote:

IMO marriage is over rated - having been with one partner till death us did part and now 6 months out of a controlling marriage (and controlling in all the wrong senses of the word) I will be getting into a relationship I can register and make legal but thats going to be my limit......this is JMO......

I would LOVE to have this option!

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Post #: 30

RE: opinions on marriage - 12/18/2004 8:21:54 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 2294
Joined: 6/22/2004
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The choices are inadequate.

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Post #: 31

RE: opinions on marriage - 12/18/2004 8:25:53 PM

DominaSadista

Posts: 6
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline

First, I don't see this as trivializing marriage at all! Its an interesting question.

My husband and I are poly, with a household built around the D/s model. He and I are both Dominants, and are in charge of the final decision making in the home. But poly is certainly not the be all and end all answer for everyone. It does require a fair bit of emotional maturity on the part of all members, and the realization that what is for the common good generally takes precedence over what is good for the individual. On the other hand, some issues require that an individual's needs come first, thereby benefitting, in the long run, the good of all (or most).

Certainly I would not say that other forms of partnering have less intrinsic validity, but this is what we have found works the best for us. It does take honesty, integrity, commitment and communication, but so do other partnerships, both business and personal.

Domina

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Post #: 32

RE: opinions on marriage - 12/19/2004 12:54:54 AM

ignatiaus

Posts: 6
Joined: 8/8/2004
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I can't help but wonder ... reading this ... what the marriage experience is for everyone here. Some folks mention it ... others mention their hopes ... and still others carry on with opinions with no mention of personal experience at all. If we were talking about being a Dominant or submissive people would throw a fit about who had experience.

Personally, I've been married for 20+ years. When we were first married we knew some couples who broke up in the first few years ... and then things settled down. Come to find out later - that the second trouble spot is when people are in the 15+ years or so married and 40+ years old. The challenge of being married is you don't know who you will be with 20 years down the road. Everyone changes ... and not always in the same direction. Certainly my wife and I are very different people at this point in our lives.

Everyone can have their definition of marriage ... but, to me, assuming that one answer now at this point in your life is the ultimate answer is the voice of inexperience.

That said ... my partner is my life partner. I believe in no particular religion ... and don't believe that god has ever walked among us. Given that ... marriage is a creation of people ... not a holy writ or a moral responsibilitiy. It is what is negotiated between people ... government, religion, and others be damned.

Marriage confers benefits - insurance and legal - as well as costs (marriage tax penalty). It also conveys specific position socially - and conveys a level of commitment. Limiting this to man/woman is not moral in any cosmic sense - it is only perceived as moral by people viewing from a religious or societal framework that points that direction.

Ig

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Post #: 33