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a master needs help - 10/17/2004 8:45:49 PM

yourdarkmaster

Posts: 3
Joined: 10/17/2004
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if there are any slaves/subs out there looking to help a master out speak up or quick mail me

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RE: a master needs help - 10/17/2004 8:49:06 PM

EStrict

Posts: 730
Joined: 1/11/2004
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That's a bit vague,, what kind of *help* do you need that is not going to make this into an ad?

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Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

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RE: a master needs help - 10/17/2004 8:56:02 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2245
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
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Heck, I'm always looking to help a -person- out if it's in my capablity. But yeah, this is vauge. 'splain.

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RE: a master needs help - 10/17/2004 9:00:14 PM

yourdarkmaster

Posts: 3
Joined: 10/17/2004
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i recently started being a master and i need a couple pointers i know that i can improbe and although my sub seems happy i want to be a better master

(in reply to perverseangelic)

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RE: a master needs help - 10/17/2004 9:09:17 PM

proudsub

Posts: 3896
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
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quote:

i recently started being a master and i need a couple pointers i know that i can improbe and although my sub seems happy i want to be a better master

My suggestion would be to read all that you can. There is a lot of good information in the forums here as a starter.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

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RE: a master needs help - 10/17/2004 9:22:04 PM

EStrict

Posts: 730
Joined: 1/11/2004
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I'd ditto Proud, take some time to read. Do searches on topics that interest you (they go back the entire 9 months the board has been around). Change the settings at the top to go back 365 days, it will give you tons more reading material.

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Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

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RE: a master needs help - 10/17/2004 9:35:35 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2245
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
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be honest and upfront with your submissive partner about your experience level. Don't feel compelled to try something you don't have the training to do, and don't be afraid to admit you don't know how to do something.

If you are invovled in pain play and/or scenes that can cause damage to your submissive partner, keep the lines of communication -very- open untill you can read his/her reactions well. ie- Ask how he/she's doing as you crop him/her, about the sensations from clips etc.

My personal preference is that my dominant partner try all toys used on himself before on me so he has an intimate idea of how they feel. But that one's just me.

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RE: a master needs help - 10/18/2004 1:10:51 AM

BeachMystress

Posts: 1291
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: South Bay (LA area), CA - Southern California
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Why are you seeking advice from a sub/slave? I realize they are valuable sources of info, but if you're looking to learn how to deal with submissives, you probably want to ask someone who is on the same side of the fence, so to speak, and has dealt with them. I looked at your profile, and question how someone who is 18 and new enough to need to ask for help in such a general way lists single tails as an area of "special skill." That is something that takes a very long time of practice to be safe doing. I think you need to get a few books on dominance, read the forums here and vist a bunch of websites before you ever touch a human being.

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~Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*

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RE: a master needs help - 10/18/2004 4:20:40 AM

sweetpleaser

Posts: 640
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
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I would suggest to read some books also like "The Loving Dominant" and "SM101" that you can get from Amazon.

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~ann~

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

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RE: a master needs help - 10/18/2004 6:34:52 AM

realophelia

Posts: 166
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Eastern PA
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Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns is a nice book also and I know it's available through Amazon (a plus if you're uncomfortable buying a book like that at your local bookstore).

Take care :)
Ophelia

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RE: a master needs help - 10/18/2004 9:38:51 AM

IservBlkKingPaPa

Posts: 84
Joined: 8/17/2004
From: Long Island NY
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Papa's slave certainly agrees with her fellow subs/slaves on this one. READ READ READ

@}PaPa's}slave}--
Every Rose has her Thorns...

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RE: a master needs help - 10/18/2004 9:52:06 AM

slavewithnoname

Posts: 24
Joined: 8/24/2004
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I agree with reading... and talking to as many real lifers as possible... both Dom and submissive... perhaps find a local munch group you can attend. I commend you for wanting to learn, being willing is half the battle Sir. But the biggest learning tool you have is right in front of you Sir... your submissive. Communication is a word that cannot be stressed enough...
I wish you well Sir!
~slavegirl~

(in reply to IservBlkKingPaPa)

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RE: a master needs help - 10/18/2004 1:22:24 PM

MaitresseEden

Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
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Well you can read every book there is on the subject and that still does not qualify a person to be a "master" or a "mistress" That comes from time and real hand-on's experience IMHO. I could read every book under the sun on brain surgery doesn't make me a surgeon. yes education is a good start, so is meeting others, observation, and yes.. TALKING to the subs /Dom/mes and finding out their perspectives on what they see, and do, and others as well. There is no cookie cutter right one way when it comes to BDSM it is something that evolves and is unique to the individual.

Ms. Eden

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RE: a master needs help - 10/18/2004 3:16:14 PM

Estring

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It looks to me like you are using this story to meet girls and get sex.

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RE: a master needs help - 10/18/2004 4:24:49 PM

yourdarkmaster

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hmm you know what estring screw you i just needed help and automatically it turns into sex and i though the snm community usually didsnt descriminate i geuss i was wrong there are dumb people who pre judge everything they see

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RE: a master needs help - 10/18/2004 6:12:58 PM

sweetpleaser

Posts: 640
Joined: 8/5/2004
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yourdarkmaster; cool your jets young man. We don't fight on the boards like that. We are all adults here and should treat each other with respect. You may be upset with Estring but you could have made it known with more tact.

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~ann~

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

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RE: a master needs help - 10/18/2004 7:34:58 PM

bottominwa

Posts: 240
Joined: 7/20/2004
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Ummmm, this is an interesting aside..but perverseangelic if this girl understood you correctly your Master uses every implement He uses on You on Himself first? Assuredly this would not work in this house, as Master is most definitel ynot a masochist, nor latent submissive or homosexual..and several of the things He "uses" well..let's just say as He says..."Men have no holes suitable of insertion of foreign objects".

LoL. The girl does think this is fabulosu if it works for you..however hs ei snot at all sure this is a norm of any sort...any Dominant Males care to anti up as to if They use vibrators, anal plugs et all on themselves first?

giggling....

sabrina King

House of King

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RE: a master needs help - 10/18/2004 7:37:16 PM

bottominwa

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It is also sparking images of self flagellation...etc.....also how would one suspend one's self? What about bond one's self...the girl assumes only a few of the blessed...maybe David Blane could pull this off....just beign funny cookies...it struck me as funny is all.

sabrina King

House of King

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RE: a master needs help - 10/18/2004 8:11:59 PM

topcat

Posts: 1013
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Long Island
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YDM_

OK- lighten up.

The first thing that you should learn is to be respectful of those worthy of it. Estring is one of those guys that is- granted, that was kinda a snotty answer, but your response was worse.

that aside-

Spend some time, and think- really really think- for about a week- about what it is that you are doing this for- why it draws you, what you want from it. That will give you a start on step two, which is-

forget reading. go do this stuff- spend time with your girl, learn what makes this stuff hot for her, figure out how to use that to get to the things that are hot for you.

Find people who do this stuff for real, that are local to you. They are out there- approach with respect, and deferance- even the ones you don't think much of. Get to know them, let them get to know you, and learn from the ones you like- and from the ones you don't like, you can learn what not to do...

Most of all, figure you out- everyones style is different, and the skillsets we bring to the work vary widely. Know what you want, find out what you are good at, and find ways to learn to fill the holes.

Everyone has some different opinion on it, it seems, but I'd highly recommend bottoming some, in a limited way, at least. Even if it doesn't do it for you, you'll pick up a lot of what it's like on the bottom, and it will make you better on top. It will also give you a better image as someone who realy wants to learn this stuff, and cut you out from the ones that think that adding 'master' or 'lord' to their nic will somehow be all they need to be a dominant.

good luck in your search- my emails is always open.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

< Message edited by topcat -- 10/18/2004 8:13:07 PM >

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RE: a master needs help - 10/18/2004 8:15:03 PM

IservBlkKingPaPa

Posts: 84
Joined: 8/17/2004
From: Long Island NY
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WHOA...well that burst of temper is a clue.......One who cannot master himself cannot Master another. This slave hopes that, that particular trait is controlled by the time one is ready for the life.

@}PaPa's}slave}--
Every Rose has her Thorns...

< Message edited by IservBlkKingPaPa -- 10/18/2004 8:25:45 PM >

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