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WayHome -> RE: And then there were three.... (9/9/2004 5:52:32 AM)
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I think this really hit the nail on the head:
quote:
ORIGINAL: perverseangelic
This is only my opinion, of course.
I think that relationships that are open to alternative sexual practices, as a whole have an excellent level of communication. As such, I think partners are more willing to be open about their desires.
My parter and I are happy as a single couple, but we very much enjoy playing with a third or fourth party occationally. This isn't becaues we're not content with each other. We could happily live -without- doing this. However, we're also open to trying out our fanatsies.
I think that open lines of comunication often lead to third parties, because the members of the relationship are not afraid to voice that desire. I personally think power exchange relationships require a level of comunication that can be avoided in vanilla relationship.
(This isn't to say I think vanilla relationships are "not as ddep" as BDSM ones. Rather, that in order to maintain working power exchange communication must be a focal point of the relationship. If one is uncomfortable with that in a vanilla relationship, it can easily be avoided.)
I think you covered the big reasons right there. I think there are other contributing factors too:
If you are a masochist who likes to show what you can endure, it's nice to have an extra person to witness it.
If you are proud of your master and his tallents, it can be nice to see someone else appreciate them.
If you are into humiliation, there are so many more possibilities....
As ShrewWhisperer said, multiple subs can be an ego boost to a Dom, and there's nothing wrong with that.
"Good Cop/Bad Cop..."
Suffering with can provide a profound and special bond that is different from suffering at the hand of and can be just as sweet.
Pure decadence--nothing says "You are the king of all you survey" better than tag-team blowjobs.
Most men have MFF threesome fanatasies, but BDSM makes it a lot more practical and functional in reality--erections might fail with an audience or in a marathin, but ropes, floggers, clamps, paddles, and spankings all just seem to work even better under pressure.
"Human spanking bench" "Human restraints"
We scene people tend to be very visual--it's hard to watch yourself in a twosome and the visual feast just gets more and more delectable with each participant.
Some subs enjoy friendly competition--Dominants too...
Now, most of that deals with the physical scene. There is also another component when it comes to long-term poly. The number one reason poly doesn't work for most "vanillas" is communication which we all have to have anyway. Other reasons include issues of jealousy, ego, sharing, and balance. Well, we don't require or even always desire balance. Jealousy for us can be an opportunity or a tool as often as it can be a tragedy. Sharing is easier when it's an expression of submission and one's expectations of "fairness" can be set aside. Ego is easier to handle when affonts to one's ego and strokes to one's ego are already an acceptable and healthy part of your relationship instead of something to be battled over with each partner unconciously struggling for power as is the usual state of affairs for most modern marriages.
In summary:
We tend to be more aware of desires for poly, more equipped to get it, more suited to handle it, and have more creative and exciting ways to enjoy it.
Leto
(poly before he was BDSM, but finding it's a lot more functional now)
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