ProtagonistLily
Posts: 1002
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
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Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!
First off, I'm very greatful for this space. I'm in an odd position right now in my local scene, and it's nice to be able to discuss things in a neutral setting. I was, for years, a bottom. About a year and a half ago, things started not to feel right so I began to identify as a switch. Once I started to Top, I found myself, and only Top now. I've had a harder time getting some of the older local Fem Dommes to take me seriously, so I thank you for allowing me to participate in this space.
I had a discussion about strap ons, forced fem and CD/TV's with regard to male submissives with a couple Fem Dommes I know locally, and was judged as closed minded when I expressed some misgivings about what I heard from the male subs about liking these things. I don't. I find a male sub who is into strap-ons and cross dressing to not fit my objectives and goals as a Dominant. A submissive who wants a lot of ass play from his Domme isn't for me, because I have less than manly associations with that. Are these men wrong for wanting these activities? Not at all, but they aren't for me.
I'm tired of being judged by my real life friends and I'm enjoying realizing that I'm not the only one with these preferences out there. When I bottomed, I bottomed to Tops who were sadistic bastards who could do good head-fuck scenes. These men and women were not my Masters or Mistresses and they were competent Tops who enjoyed these kinds of scenes. Nothing is mutually exclusive. In order to be able to play the way I wanted to, I had to search for Tops that enjoyed these kinks as well.
I operate pretty much the same way as a Top. If I'm getting no pleasure out of something, I'm not inclined to do it. Also, one size doesn't fit all, and I wish to God that submissives would understand that. I need chemistry....I need a spark. I have to be motivated to put in the time to think creatively about an activity and bring it from the sterile environment of my imagination into fruition of real life. This takes time and energy. Sometimes I don't think submissives appreciate the planning that goes into a really fun scene.
For me, it's not all about the sadism. Sadism is certainly part of scenes if the submissive is receptive to it. It's not fun for me to play sadistically with someone who's not, at least on some level, enjoying it. I'm talking play here, not punishment. Punishment is a whole other topic.
The only time I'm compelled to use strapons or cross dressing with someone I'm playing with is in a humiliation context. I'm not interested in submissives who enjoy wearing women's clothes or are heavy into having their own asses worshipped.
I was talking to a Domme friend of mine yesterday about opening a Submissive Finishing School. The more I realize that other Domme's are encountering the same stuff that frustrates me, the more the idea appeals to me 
Lily
quote:
ORIGINAL: MistressMisty122
I see this as the exact opposite of worshipping a womans body and feminity..yet I hear it from almost all the subs out there! This tells me they are craving a man and a strap on or dildo has nothing to do with 'me'. Its more about servicing 'them'. I find this highly disrespectful. Is this the norm or just subs Ive run into?
Thanks, I appreciate whatever info you can provide.
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RE: subs Craving Strap ons and "forced" bi sc... - 
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