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MrThorns -> Opinions (3/8/2006 6:01:50 AM)
There seems to be another trend forming on the CM boards and I wonder if anyone else is noticing it. Some people will put out an opinion and then complain about all of the people who disagree. Then they get to play the role of the online victim who is being horribly flamed and judged harshly simply for expressing their opinion. Guess what... If you say something incredibly stupid... or incredibly uninformed... or downright rude...you should get called on it. An example: If I am walking down the street and see some woman pushing a baby carriage and I were to stop her and say, "Damn, you have some ugly children." I should get smacked...even though I was just expressing my opinion. If I had a conversation with an experienced astrophysicist and made claims about how the Sun revolves around the Earth...he would call me stupid...even though I am simply stating my opinion. So why is it different here? Why is it that someone can insult an entire group of people without consequence? Why is it that someone with no real-time experience...and 100,000 posts...has the ability to say that there is "one way" to live within the BDSM community...or define who we are...or how the relationships of others "should" be...or what is abusive...etc etc yadda yadda...ad nauseum...and not be called on it? grumble grumble, ~Thorns

Chaingang -> RE: Opinions (3/8/2006 6:14:28 AM)
I think you have hit the Del Rey spot right where it lives! [;)]

fastlane -> RE: Opinions (3/8/2006 6:31:56 AM)
Hmmm, grumpy are we? me thinks you rolled on one of your own thorns[:D] Everything anyone post and every opinion stated is subject to consequences and rebuttals. Some get mad, true. Some argue the point, some bury their head in the sand and some just disappear into the night like a shooting star that flamed out. Point is, this is a board full of opinions and as far as I'm concerned, I am the only one that has the right one! Post on and roll with the punches Thorn.....Kevin

IronBear -> RE: Opinions (3/8/2006 7:31:14 AM)
The only thing I find difficult to swallow if when the originator of a thread gets abusive or peeved when people disagree with the OP. Mind you when the headding is different to the body of the OP it certainly has me wondering what the Op is smoking.

Guilty1974 -> RE: Opinions (3/8/2006 7:36:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MrThorns So why is it different here? Because there's no consensus on most things when BDSM is concerned

sub4hire -> RE: Opinions (3/8/2006 11:19:59 AM)
quote: There seems to be another trend forming on the CM boards and I wonder if anyone else is noticing it. Some people will put out an opinion and then complain about all of the people who disagree. Then they get to play the role of the online victim who is being horribly flamed and judged harshly simply for expressing their opinion. Nope, haven't noticed any trend. Yet at the same time I haven't been here all that often by my own choice. Being a victim makes for nice publicity too bad those who really are worth a damn will dismiss them for doing so. By the way are you away? I know it was your last Christmas home for two years.

MHOO314 -> RE: Opinions (3/8/2006 11:44:15 AM)
Last time I looked: We were in America, where we have free speech Opinions are just those and nothing more, everyone is entitled to them Stupidity is a subjective term BDSM experience as deemed by another is subjective Now given those key points, your issue is?

Submotive -> RE: Opinions (3/8/2006 11:52:49 AM)
quote: There seems to be another trend forming on the CM boards and I wonder if anyone else is noticing it. Some people will put out an opinion and then complain about all of the people who disagree. Then they get to play the role of the online victim who is being horribly flamed and judged harshly simply for expressing their opinion. Ya mean like this???

xxblushesxx -> RE: Opinions (3/8/2006 11:53:14 AM)
Yah, but.. why DO people ask questions and then seem to get mad/upset with everyone anyone who trys to answer them honestly. A few particular past posters instantly jump to mind. Makes you wonder what it's like to deal with their masochism complex day in and day out... yanno?

JohnWarren -> RE: Opinions (3/8/2006 12:20:52 PM)
edited to a simple nod

Tantalus42 -> RE: Opinions (3/8/2006 12:28:51 PM)
Everyone knows the old saying: opinions are like a**holes, everyone's got one.

Gauge -> RE: Opinions (3/8/2006 1:03:44 PM)
quote: There seems to be another trend forming on the CM boards and I wonder if anyone else is noticing it. Some people will put out an opinion and then complain about all of the people who disagree. Then they get to play the role of the online victim who is being horribly flamed and judged harshly simply for expressing their opinion. Welcome to the Internet.

slavejali -> RE: Opinions (3/8/2006 1:28:48 PM)
I think there are a variety of reasons: 1. Not all people have good conversational, communication skills. 2. Not all people know how to have a conversation without jumping to defense of themselves or their beliefs. 3. Some people only have the ability to perceive through their own mindset and due to lack of exposure to other mindsets in a productive way, they perceive any idea or tone, when it differs from their own, as an attack....so natural cause of action there is to defend, or attack back. 4 Some people have to validate themselves by trying to convert others to their way of thinking, its kinda a, "lets extend the universe of my mind by imposing it on others" typa thing. 5. Some people have to validate themselves by seeking support from those around them, whether that be good, bad or indifferent. 6. Some people get caught up in intellectual politics, rather than conversation. 7. Some people just like arguing for the sake of arguing. 8. Some people revel in being a victim. 9. Online is ripe for people to sit behind the protection of a computer screen and say and express things they would never in day to day life (i dont see that as all bad, only when destructive or unproductive). Like for example, I wonder how many people writing to the boards here, and are very expresssive here would admit to being withdrawn, or not so expressive in rl. 10. Online is a great way for people to live a life, they could never manifest in real life, its kinda like living life through watching movies, experiencing all the emotions and thoughts, but never actually experiencing the events, all the feelings and thoughts seem real...but,,,they're simply not when it comes to reality. Now I'm betting that most people doing that wouldnt want to admit to themselves they are living a fantasy life so they have to make it real somehow, so they create a whole subculture which validates itself for online purposes...in an effort to extend this..they have to crucifythe enemy..the enemy being anything or anyone with rl experience. 11. Some people are just assholes. Saying all that, I think these boards in general are pretty good, I havent really noticed anything increasing in a negative way, or maybe I just shrug it off if it is happening... dunno. quote: Some people will put out an opinion and then complain about all of the people who disagree. Then they get to play the role of the online victim who is being horribly flamed and judged harshly simply for expressing their opinion. Seems like just a manipulation technique... yawn grin

Level -> RE: Opinions (3/8/2006 5:22:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 Last time I looked: We were in America, where we have free speech Opinions are just those and nothing more, everyone is entitled to them Stupidity is a subjective term BDSM experience as deemed by another is subjective Now given those key points, your issue is? I agree with your points, but one thing I would add is that some of those that say "we're all entitled to our opinions" get their panties in a knot when someone else's opinion is critical of them and/or their opinion. (I'm not "pointing my finger" at you with that comment, btw.) Level

MrThorns -> RE: Opinions (3/8/2006 7:27:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear The only thing I find difficult to swallow if when the originator of a thread gets abusive or peeved when people disagree with the OP... Amen! I'm in no way opposed to fierce argument, and there is a difference between solidly defending an argument with informed debate... and attacking a person and/or their character just because their opinion differs from yours. quote: ORIGINAL: Guilty1974 Because there's no consensus on most things when BDSM is concerned You're absolutely right. There isn't. To be honest, I am enthusiastically happy that there isn't. Sure, there may be some things that are common within our relationships, wether you consider yourselves; Gorean, "BDSMers", followers of SSC or RACK, have a contract or not, sub or slave, switch or subdistic, Top or bottom, etc... it's absolutely wonderful for me to know that there is no single rulebook by which to live within my relationship. But your response really has little to do with why people feel they can express an opinion and not receive fallout for it. Welcome to the boards though. quote: Nope, haven't noticed any trend. Yet at the same time I haven't been here all that often by my own choice. Being a victim makes for nice publicity too bad those who really are worth a damn will dismiss them for doing so. By the way are you away? I know it was your last Christmas home for two years. The "Trend": (Although that term may not be entirely appropriate...even though every time I pop in to see what's going on in the forums, I see the same damned argument...just under a different title.) An argument begins with a blanket statement such as "Anything other than SSC is abusive". A common response is, "Horseshit." (I'm paraphrasing, by the way.) The OP's counter is, "Help help, I'm being flamed for having an opinion." Granted, saying that someone's opinion is "Horseshit" is not particularily diplomatic... nor is it good debate. (Regardless of how accurate it may be to call "Horseshit.") As for being away...I'm home for a little while yet. quote: Original: MHOO314 We were in America, where we have free speech Opinions are just those and nothing more, everyone is entitled to them Stupidity is a subjective term BDSM experience as deemed by another is subjective Now given those key points, your issue is? Yes, many of us live in America where we do have free speech. That doesn't mean that people shouldn't be held accountable for that speech, does it? If you have an opinion on something...awesome! Share it! But don't hide behind your right to free speech by trying to limit the speech of someone else because they disagree with your position. Stupidity can be subjective...yes. But I think there is probably some common form of stupidity that we could all agree on. "BDSM experience as deemed by another is subjective"... as I mentioned online vs real time experience, I really don't see how this "key point" is accurate. Do you mean to say that one hour of practicing with a bullwhip is as valuable as reading about bullwhips? I do understand what you are saying, and I do understand the value of knowledge and experience in all of it's forms...but I don't think your statement is related to my comments about 100,000 posts and real time experience. (But hey, it's my opinion...and I won't be offended if you call "Horseshit" on it.) quote: Original: submotive Ya mean like this??? Was this response an attempt at comedy? Please feel free to expand upon your statement so that it becomes relevant. Slavejali, thank you for the list of observations. (I think I fall under #s 7 and 11) quote: Original: Level I agree with your points, but one thing I would add is that some of those that say "we're all entitled to our opinions" get their panties in a knot when someone else's opinion is critical of them and/or their opinion. (I'm not "pointing my finger" at you with that comment, btw This is exactly what I meant when I started the post. (I don't think I had enough coffee in my system when I got to typing this morning...hence all the grumble, grumbling). Thank you for clearly stating what I appearantly couldn't. Looking forward to reading more... ~Thorns

slavejali -> RE: Opinions (3/8/2006 8:12:31 PM)
quote: Slavejali, thank you for the list of observations. (I think I fall under #s 7 and 11) lol MrThorns[:)]

ownedgirlie -> RE: Opinions (3/8/2006 9:56:21 PM)
Great post, slavejali :)

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