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RE: Warning signs - 3/6/2006 3:34:26 PM

SimplyV

Posts: 164
Joined: 11/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WDMsub

7. If he waits until you are aroused beyond belief to tell you he is impotent (although I learned from that experience to ask in advance).
10. He will not meet you unless you guarantee a sex act-whether you like him or not, plan to pursue a relationship or not (I told the one that wanted this, if I was the type of sub to do that with him, then he should realize I would do it with ANYONE who asked).

*rolls on the floor laughing for a long time* OMG.. thats too funny..

quote:

ORIGINAL: WDMsub
9. In his profile, he blatantly lied about anything important to you

I don't care what he lied about. He could have lied about anything.. it would be enough for me to say "BUH BYE"

As for wanna-be? or not the right "Dom/sub" for me?

Hmm.. Where to start..

1. Uses "TRUE Dominant" or "TRUE Slave/sub"
2. Insists on watching WWF, or Nascar, or COPS (a girl has her limits)
3. Is secretive about anything or everything.
4. Uses Dominate as a noun, and doesn't correct it or argues with me that it is the correct usage.
5. Has the mentality of a 14 yr old boy who just saw his first real life vagina.. 24/7/365. (aka cannot control his sexual drive long enough to talk about anything else)
6. Wants me to have no contact with anyone else.
7. ME ME ME attitude. (because I have a ME ME ME attitude myself and well two of us in a relationship wouldn't work)

8. Words aren't met by actions. Says one thing, body and actions say something else. (Thats a "Run like the wind" red flag for me)

Oh and Jali's

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali
3. Non ability or willingness to communicate in a regular everyday fashion, i.e. Always full on in role, which I would find extremely suspect considering you are supposed to be getting to know this person.
4. No expression of interest and involvement in productive activities outside of D/s.
5. No exhibition of knowledge of self. (biggie for me)
6. Unwillingness to talk about their past, or yours.
9. No goals or dreams for the future.

As for the laundry list of demands... well I have my own laundry list.. I just need to write it up in stone. Most of it is.. "You will clean the tub only with ___ cleaner", "You must wash your hands with soap after using the bathroom" blah blah blah.. stuff to fit my obsessive-compulsive needs. Though I am thinking of adding that "24/7 beverage service" thing... sounds like a good one.

V

(in reply to WDMsub)

Post #: 21

RE: Warning signs - 3/6/2006 4:01:38 PM

Sensualips

Posts: 604
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

Ooo, I want to play.

You ask an ice breaker question about travel and a place he has or would like to visit. He informs you he can not leave the state as it is a violation of his parole.

After a few emails, she accuses you of actually being her ex and tells you "I am not giving you back the stereo so JUST LEAVE ME ALONE ASSHOLE!!"

She begins to brag about her television appearance on Jerry Springer.

He can describe your bedtime ritual in suprisingly accurate detail.

She bitch slaps the waitress for flirting with you.

You check out his tattoos and find the names of four ex girlfriends awkwardly re-inked into tribal patterns.

(in reply to WDMsub)

Post #: 22

RE: Warning signs - 3/6/2006 4:21:14 PM

WDMsub

Posts: 9
Joined: 3/2/2006
Status: offline

You know what gets really funny about the guy from #10 is he felt he was entitled to a blow-job because he was driving 20 miles to meet me and I was driving 50 miles to meet him. He told me his time was too valuable to waste it on just coffee....oh, and he wasn't planning on getting a hotel room for the sex act.

LOL, I doubt he is getting much repeat action.

(in reply to SimplyV)

Post #: 23

RE: Warning signs - 3/6/2006 4:23:16 PM

IronBear

Posts: 2678
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Just a comment or two about clothing. None of us live in the samer climate so where in summer, I'll settle for cutoffs (shorter the better ~ if she is potentially going to be my slut I want to see how she looks and besides she may as well start practicing JK) and a t-shirt.. That is acceptable here and the cutoffs could be swapped for jeans.. It will depend where we meet and at what time as weelas the climactic conditions. If we meet at a cocktail bar I'd hope she dressed ina cocktail dress for example.. The point is as long as she has made the effort to dress to impress andnot like a refugee just off the boat (mind you that can look sexy too). her attitude will be importand and so on.... Most of thyis should be aranged IMO when the date is set up.There is time enough as you meet to inform her of the standards you reqyure. My first impression when reading some profiles is that the subject is so annalthat they probably reuse dunny paper.

Just my thoughts anyway.....

The Lipsmackin’, Thirstquenchin’, Acetastin’, Motivatin’, Goodbuzzin’, Coldtalkin’, Highwalkin’, Fastlivin’, Coolfizzin’, Grizzly Old Fart.

_____________________________

Be Well
Iron Bear

Master of House Iron Bear

Yes, I am a Master, but not your Master..........

The Incorrigible, irrepressible, irreverent grizzly

(in reply to Sensualips)

Post #: 24

RE: Warning signs - 3/6/2006 4:34:23 PM

Edidid

Posts: 4
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Just a comment or two about clothing. None of us live in the samer climate so where in summer, I'll settle for cutoffs (shorter the better ~ if she is potentially going to be my slut I want to see how she looks and besides she may as well start practicing JK) and a t-shirt.. That is acceptable here and the cutoffs could be swapped for jeans.. It will depend where we meet and at what time as weelas the climactic conditions.
~snip to save space~

The Lipsmackin’, Thirstquenchin’, Acetastin’, Motivatin’, Goodbuzzin’, Coldtalkin’, Highwalkin’, Fastlivin’, Coolfizzin’, Grizzly Old Fart.

Everything is situational, but using clothing was a good choice for an example. I have a great mentor that wears short skirts and dresses (she is a dominant) is play, but never on a first meeting. She has a skin condition that some people negatively react to just from the visual. She promptly discloses the information, but as the cliche goes you can only make a single first impression.

I don't consider this as misleading myself, but i could see how others could. <shrug> I have met up with people after work looking like a complete yuppie simply because I have no place to store my clothing at work, but that doesn't mean it is my preferred style. You have to accept some realistic standards when dealing with other people.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 25

RE: Warning signs - 3/6/2006 4:44:56 PM

truesub4u

Posts: 1065
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyV

Hmm.. Where to start..

1. Uses "TRUE Dominant" or "TRUE Slave/sub"
2. Insists on watching WWF, or Nascar, or COPS (a girl has her limits)

V

Looks at own name and smiles....... Sees big ass red flag on self.

Likes WWF, Loves NASCAR n FOOTBALL.... tolerates COPS....

shakes head..... and Master wonders why I hate cable TV in the house. Not because of his habits... but my own. But I have to start getting use to Cable in the house again after he moves in next week.

You're right... a gal has her limits... mine are having fun with the likes of Master, enjoying the things he also enjoys... knowing that he won't mind enjoying mine as well when I ask him.

_____________________________

So Let's Go There, Let's Make Our Escape, Come On Let's Go There, Let Us Can We Escape..... Can You Take Me Higher.. ("Higher" by Creed)

(in reply to SimplyV)

Post #: 26

RE: Warning signs - 3/6/2006 4:50:37 PM

IronBear

Posts: 2678
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyV

You're right... a gal has her limits... mine are having fun with the likes of Master, enjoying the things he also enjoys... knowing that he won't mind enjoying mine as well when I ask him.

They're pretty good limits lass.

The Lipsmackin’, Thirstquenchin’, Acetastin’, Motivatin’, Goodbuzzin’, Coldtalkin’, Highwalkin’, Fastlivin’, Coolfizzin’, Grizzly Old Fart.

_____________________________

Be Well
Iron Bear

Master of House Iron Bear

Yes, I am a Master, but not your Master..........

The Incorrigible, irrepressible, irreverent grizzly

(in reply to truesub4u)

Post #: 27

RE: Warning signs - 3/6/2006 6:13:19 PM

windchymes

Posts: 517
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

The Lipsmackin’, Thirstquenchin’, Acetastin’, Motivatin’, Goodbuzzin’, Coldtalkin’, Highwalkin’, Fastlivin’, Coolfizzin’, Grizzly Old Fart.

For a second there, I thought you were listing the names of all your slaves

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 28

RE: Warning signs - 3/6/2006 6:18:32 PM

IronBear

Posts: 2678
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

quote:

The Lipsmackin’, Thirstquenchin’, Acetastin’, Motivatin’, Goodbuzzin’, Coldtalkin’, Highwalkin’, Fastlivin’, Coolfizzin’, Grizzly Old Fart.

For a second there, I thought you were listing the names of all your slaves

Hushhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

quote:

<<< Classified State Secret>>>

< Message edited by IronBear -- 3/6/2006 6:19:26 PM >

_____________________________

Be Well
Iron Bear

Master of House Iron Bear

Yes, I am a Master, but not your Master..........

The Incorrigible, irrepressible, irreverent grizzly

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 29

RE: Warning signs - 3/6/2006 7:00:46 PM

SimplyV

Posts: 164
Joined: 11/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyV

Hmm.. Where to start..

1. Uses "TRUE Dominant" or "TRUE Slave/sub"
2. Insists on watching WWF, or Nascar, or COPS (a girl has her limits)

V

Looks at own name and smiles....... Sees big ass red flag on self.

Likes WWF, Loves NASCAR n FOOTBALL.... tolerates COPS....

shakes head..... and Master wonders why I hate cable TV in the house. Not because of his habits... but my own. But I have to start getting use to Cable in the house again after he moves in next week.

You're right... a gal has her limits... mine are having fun with the likes of Master, enjoying the things he also enjoys... knowing that he won't mind enjoying mine as well when I ask him.

*laughs* Hey.. I like what I like.. and its all about whats right for me.

Nothing but respect for you though. Despite you liking WWF and Nascar. *laughs*

(in reply to truesub4u)

Post #: 30

RE: Warning signs - 3/6/2006 7:58:51 PM

truesub4u

Posts: 1065
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyV

*laughs* Hey.. I like what I like.. and its all about whats right for me.

Nothing but respect for you though. Despite you liking WWF and Nascar. *laughs*

Respect returned.... even thought you don't like NASCAR... WWF I can do without.... tolerate it. wrestling is more fun off the TV.. <winks> Would actualy prefer COPs over WWF... lmao.. I had that backwards in other post...

< Message edited by truesub4u -- 3/6/2006 8:00:34 PM >

_____________________________

So Let's Go There, Let's Make Our Escape, Come On Let's Go There, Let Us Can We Escape..... Can You Take Me Higher.. ("Higher" by Creed)

(in reply to SimplyV)

Post #: 31

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 12:10:26 AM

Padriag

Posts: 700
Joined: 3/30/2005
From: NC, USA
Status: offline

I generally agree with your list Jali, but there's a couple I wanted to remark on.

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

2. Only allowed to call them on a cell or at work

There are an increasing number of people who only have cell phones, no land lines, so this is not a sure sign of anything but the times anymore. Presently I have one cell phone and no land line, in a couple months I'll be adding a second cell phone but still not sure if I will get a land line... I just don't have a need for one.
As for calling at work, there are sometimes very good reasons for not giving out your work number. One being some jobs don't really allow for phone calls (I know if I hire a sub contractor who is frequently on the phone with his gf I tend to hand him $50 and tell him to get the hell off my job site.), and second you may not want someone you don't know well to have your work number where they could cause you problems if they turn out to be a nutcase. That's something for both dominants and submissives to keep in mind.

quote:

10. Lack of previous D/s bdsm experience and lack of ability to prove what they are saying of past experience is true.

Which leads to the question... how do you prove your past experience online or on the phone? Its not like most of us have a resume and list of references from BDSM clubs and former play partners, particularly if you don't "play" at a lot at parties and such.

quote:

12. Obvious disgruntlement with life.

I tend to worry about these too.

I also tend to worry when someone says they want a relationship... but all they talk about are fetishes, sex and play.
I tend to wonder when someone seems to have no hobbies or personal interests of any kind.
I tend to wonder when you ask them what was their happiest memory, and they don't have one.
I tend to wonder when they never talk about family, friends or a social life.
I tend to wonder when they quote from CastleRealm constantly.
I tend to wonder when they talk constantly about how their last master/dom/etc. taught them to do things, while ignoring what I just said (and on that I wonder for about 5 min and then give them a polite good-bye).
I tend to wonder about someone who claims to have four years of experience... and they are only 20 (I just saw this on a profile today).
I tend to wonder about anyone who never admits to being wrong... about anything... ever.
I tend to wonder about anyone who says they're worthless.
I tend to wonder about some of the screen names I see.
I tend to wonder about anyone who seems frequently angry or antagonistic.
I tend to wonder about anyone who claims various lifestyle authors know them personally, and then list virtually every well known name in the lifestyle (while some certainly may know all these people, if these claims are all true then John Warren has about 10,000 friends who talked to him just yesterday... I'm guessing his phone doesn't stay quite that busy.)
I wonder about anyone who claims to be part of a secret european house, secret old south society, etc. and then talks about it online but can't document it or discuss any details or invite you to any meetings. And of course gets mad when you question them about it, but still never offers any answers.
I wonder about submissives or slaves looking for a new dominant, who brag about who they were trained by. To me that's as tactless and unappealing as telling me all about your ex-boyfriend.... on the first date.
I wonder about dominants who constantly refer to other peoples ideas, publications, etc. to justify their own behavior or beliefs.
I wonder about anyone who seems to constantly be online at all hours of the day and night.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

http://www.bardicheart.com

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 32

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 12:57:26 AM

mons

Posts: 225
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

greeting to all

warning signs for domme

1 stay on the aol chat room

2 when some of the domme arefight yes fighting they the male will join like so ctty woman

3 loves to im you but ask " ifyou had me what would you do to me"

4 send a resume that is so bad it made me sick said male thought it was a very specail idea that i would for some reason think it was sexy that he let all of the dommes crap in his mouth with pictures to show this

5 keep iming when told #4 i am not eventhinking of you and your very bad breathe

6 me i am a bitch the mintue i say no to him

7stays in chat room for years this is an aold chat room

8 pretend they are men but really are woman it comes out all of the time
no

no more after this but they will always come out in th end ''

mons/jane

(in reply to WDMsub)

Post #: 33

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 1:51:38 AM

slavejali

Posts: 721
Joined: 11/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

As for calling at work, there are sometimes very good reasons for not giving out your work number.

I was meaning if the only place you "could" call was at the persons work. Basically I would be asking myself "Whats happening at home?" Same with the cell thing really, but can understand what you said about these days there a bunch of people with only cells.

quote:

Which leads to the question... how do you prove your past experience online or on the phone? Its not like most of us have a resume and list of references from BDSM clubs and former play partners, particularly if you don't "play" at a lot at parties and such.

Good question. It was easy for me with Master though, cause the website for the dungeon he frequented was still current. It had pics and stuff, I also talked to people online that knew him from the scene. On one website of Deborah Addingtons for example there is a pic with a guy who was had cuttings of peoples names all over his back, Masters name was on it, just like he said *grin*....If a Dom didnt frequent clubs, I really dont know how I would assess rt experience...good point Sir. I guess though, from talking to various people online, its pretty easy for me to tell if someone is talking from actual experience compared to someone who has read a lot online.
.
.
Liked your list of "wonders" btw.

(in reply to mons)

Post #: 34

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 4:06:41 AM

Level

Posts: 53
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MarinaBlack

Other warning signs FOR ME as a Domme are "69" in the handle or the writer or a handle that is a command like "DominateMeNow" (if that is actually someone's handle this is purely coincidental) or some such thing.

I don't even reply to "subs" with "69" in their handles.

What if they were born in 1969?

Level

~~~~~~~~~~~

"When it is dark enough, you can see the stars."

Charles A. Beard

(in reply to MarinaBlack)

Post #: 35

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 4:20:39 AM

Level

Posts: 53
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mons

4 send a resume that is so bad it made me sick said male thought it was a very specail idea that i would for some reason think it was sexy that he let all of the dommes crap in his mouth with pictures to show this

5 keep iming when told #4 i am not eventhinking of you and your very bad breathe

mons/jane

LMMFAO

(in reply to mons)

Post #: 36

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 5:43:54 AM

LKP79

Posts: 8
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline

If he tells you that you WILL meet him at the mall, wearing ONLY a knee length coat and nothing else underneath it......on a first meet.

Yes, this did happen. No, i didn't go, and told him exactly why. His response was "How can i test your obedience otherwise?" My response was something along the lines of "You don't own me, and you won't get a chance."

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 37

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 5:48:40 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 1886
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

quote:

ORIGINAL: WDMsub

Wannabes
3. Laundry list of chores expected, behaviors

To save any one asking, I haven't written up the list for the Home Page which is still under construction. But I'll give you one hint.. Coffee on demand 24/7 (There y'all thought I was going to say head jobs didn't you? Ehh c'om be honest yoiu thought it at least ....... (Humungous Grizzly grin)..

Jai na ven sev a lae an sho'vo a porta.
(May your day bring happiness and joy to you and yours)

Certainly head 24/7 will go on the list in the phase two website upgrade, no?

Confusedly,
Ron

LOLOL

_____________________________

"Schlau, aber nichts wahr" Albert Einstein

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 38

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 6:07:50 AM

Cloudz

Posts: 279
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline

IB...so head jobs on demand ISN'T the second thing on your list?

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

quote:

ORIGINAL: WDMsub

Wannabes
3. Laundry list of chores expected, behaviors

This is the only one I'd question as being indicative of a wannabe.. Were I seriously looking and didn't have a Home Page for House Iron Bear, I'd probably list the basic duties to be carried out by all live-in 24/7 slaves both male and female

To save any one asking, I haven't written up the list for the Home Page which is still under construction. But I'll give you one hint.. Coffee on demand 24/7 (There y'all thought I was going to say head jobs didn't you? Ehh c'om be honest yoiu thought it at least ....... (Humungous Grizzly grin)..

Jai na ven sev a lae an sho'vo a porta.

(May your day bring happiness and joy to you and yours)

_____________________________

Bright Blessings,
~Cloudz
_

I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It's cloud's illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 39

RE: Warning signs - 3/7/2006 6:19:12 AM

windchymes

Posts: 517
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I wonder about anyone who seems to constantly be online at all hours of the day and night.

Sometimes we get up to pee, see something interesting on tv on the way back to the computer, sit down to watch it and fall asleep on the couch. When we finally stumble to bed, we forget we're logged in!

(in reply to Padriag)

Post #: 40

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