RE: Married Foot Slaves

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RE: Married Foot Slaves - 3/4/2006 12:41:54 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 851
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quote:

ORIGINAL: weentsy

I understand why most lifestyle Dommes are averse to playing with married subs; I think that can be problematic for both parties. For my part, I have played in this way in the past, and it created a lot of bad feelings within me.

But I don't feel the same about simple foot play. Massaging and worshiping a Domme's feet doesn't feel like infidelity to me; and I wouldn't think a lifestyle Domme would find that objectionable, either, if foot worship is something She enjoys; most Dommes I've known have believed that One can never get too much foot attention.

I'm not just talking the sort of worship that gets the sub hard, i.e., toe sucking...of course, I wouldn't feel "complete without it ;)...I'm also talking about long, pleasurable, relaxing foot massage - the sort that makes Your legs tingle.

Anyway, I'm wondering how the Ladies and subs feel about this sort of play.

Thanks to all,

michael

I guess I completely do not understand why you can't give your wife these long, pleasureable, relazing foot massage that would make her legs tickle.

Have you offered them to her or better yet just sat her down, took off her shoes and socks and started giving her a massage? I don't think I've even met someone who didn't like a good massage -- male or female, bottom or top.

As for the more oral attention, well, you can work up to that you know. I'm betting that if you did a really good job with the massage part and you were going to make sure your wife got her orgasm eventually she really wouldn't object to having other things done with her feet. It may take several massages and lots of talking and pleasing but I think that's far less risky than seeing someone else.

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RE: Married Foot Slaves - 3/4/2006 1:04:50 PM

FTopinMichigan

Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: weentsy
But I don't feel the same about simple foot play. Massaging and worshiping a Domme's feet doesn't feel like infidelity to me; and I wouldn't think a lifestyle Domme would find that objectionable, either, if foot worship is something She enjoys; most Dommes I've known have believed that One can never get too much foot attention.

As I see it, a "married" person can come up with any sort of rational to enjoy what they want, and find a way NOT to label their thinking as being a case of infidelity.

I'm a single woman interested in only single men. A "married" (or one with a SO at home) man has already committed to a woman. If he cannot share his interests (even if only a simple foot massage) with his wife, or the fact that he will be meeting other women to enjoy it, then I read it as infidelity. Infidelity is not defined, or confined to a sexual act alone, ya know.

When you measure the degree of the relationship with another woman, it won't technically take away the fact that you are with another woman, other than your wife.

If I met the wife, I might take on a married man, as a play partner only. Meeting the wife would be part of the criteria for developing "any" type of relationship.

K

< Message edited by FTopinMichigan -- 3/4/2006 1:05:57 PM >

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RE: Married Foot Slaves - 3/4/2006 1:26:09 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 960
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ethne

Would I tell my wife about it? No

Right there. You may not call it cheating, but she may, and thats what matters to her divorce lawyer. Why can you do her toes? Go to a salon, watch how a pedicure is done. Go purchase the things you will need, and do her feet. You are fulfilled, and she has gorgeous feet. Win-win.

It isn't a win-win because if there's no toe sucking, he's not happy.

Akasha

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RE: Married Foot Slaves - 3/4/2006 1:29:02 PM

AAkasha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: weentsy

quote:

I also agree that if there is no reason for the Domme to think twice about it, then why not tell your wife... afterall it's just a foot massage, right? That's how I see it, but to each his/Her own.

I was going to write a pretty emotional response, but it really doesn't matter...I'll just say that life isn't always so simple, and being totally upfront can be cruel as well as "honest".

If I tell my wife that I really crave something she can't give me - and we're talking a little foot action, not sex - all that happens is that she feels inadequate. That's not my wish! But if I don't satisfy my little foot itch, it becomes a constant obsession.

Either you get this or you don't.

Michael

What is the reason she cannot tolerate your foot massages?
What makes the act bad for her?
How has this come to be something she won't even agree to?

The point is the obsession thing. You are not that interested in the woman, her feelings, her pleasure. The foot thing becomes an obsession. The woman is merely an extension of the foot. She feels objectified. You do not rub her feet for her pleasure, you do it for your own, hoping that the "side benefit" of the foot massage feels good. You hope she will indulge what you really want, and that's toe sucking. You go too fast, and try to get to the toe sucking. She gets squeamish and says no. Your effort in the foot massage goes way down. You are rushed and sloppy, and even pout that you won't get to use your mouth.

Is that how it goes?

Akasha

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RE: Married Foot Slaves - 3/4/2006 1:33:12 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 361
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Is that how it goes?

My guess is that he's going to think you've been peeking in his windows, Akasha. lol

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RE: Married Foot Slaves - 3/4/2006 4:44:26 PM

Firmmaster4u

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Joined: 8/25/2005
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DONT PUT A TITLE ON WHAT YOU TWO DO IF IT WOIRKS FOR YOU BOTH THATS ALL THAT MATTERS JUST AS LONG AS YOU DONT CHEAT ON EACH OTHER ML

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RE: Married Foot Slaves - 3/5/2006 12:23:22 AM

weentsy

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Joined: 10/4/2005
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quote:

The point is the obsession thing. You are not that interested in the woman, her feelings, her pleasure. The foot thing becomes an obsession. The woman is merely an extension of the foot. She feels objectified. You do not rub her feet for her pleasure, you do it for your own, hoping that the "side benefit" of the foot massage feels good. You hope she will indulge what you really want, and that's toe sucking. You go too fast, and try to get to the toe sucking. She gets squeamish and says no. Your effort in the foot massage goes way down. You are rushed and sloppy, and even pout that you won't get to use your mouth.

Is that how it goes?

Akasha

Actually, I'm the world's greatest pussy licker, Akasha.

You're really quite the hater...where did I indicate that I don't care about my partner's pleasure? If I'm enjoying myself, that somehow precludes my caring if my partner's enjoying herself?

What the hell, go ahead and spin it any way you like...I have no respect for your opinion because you insist on misrepresenting mine to make me look like someone I'm not.

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RE: Married Foot Slaves - 3/5/2006 12:35:31 AM

BitaTruble

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quote:

If I'm enjoying myself, that somehow precludes my caring if my partner's enjoying herself?

When you say partner, do you mean the Domme .. or your wife?

Celeste

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RE: Married Foot Slaves - 3/5/2006 2:33:13 AM

FelinePersuasion

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You still haven't answered why you can't give the feet massages to you r wife

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RE: Married Foot Slaves - 3/5/2006 6:52:29 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 1931
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: weentsy

quote:

I also agree that if there is no reason for the Domme to think twice about it, then why not tell your wife... afterall it's just a foot massage, right? That's how I see it, but to each his/Her own.

I was going to write a pretty emotional response, but it really doesn't matter...I'll just say that life isn't always so simple, and being totally upfront can be cruel as well as "honest".

If I tell my wife that I really crave something she can't give me - and we're talking a little foot action, not sex - all that happens is that she feels inadequate. That's not my wish! But if I don't satisfy my little foot itch, it becomes a constant obsession.

Either you get this or you don't.

She "can't"? Are we talking an amputee here?

As a meta comment, I think you are the one who is "not getting it." There is a consistent message I hear from the women who are responding to your post and it is that they see this as either cheating or problematic. Your response has been generally dismissive or hostile. If this is your generic method of dealing with messages like this, you are likely to experience much more rejection than acceptance in life in general and the scene in specific.

Step back and consider. They say they see toe sucking as an intimate act. You respond that it isn't. That's hardly persuasive and unlikely to foster further dialogue on their part.

There is another point that confuses me. Aakasha points out that you really aren't interested in a specific woman and, in effect, are much like a bottom who is seeking "a life support system for a whip." (An accurate analysis from my view) but your response is you are "the world's greatest pussy licker" (an assertion that Rio, Libby's sex slave, might well challenge) as if that makes a difference.

Women are more than the sum of their parts and presenting a fascination for one or two of those parts is unlikely to make you attractive to a sex who generally sees itself as a package deal to any partner.

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RE: Married Foot Slaves - 3/5/2006 7:17:41 AM

Isara

Posts: 81
Joined: 2/4/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

Women are more than the sum of their parts and presenting a fascination for one or two of those parts is unlikely to make you attractive to a sex who generally sees itself as a package deal to any partner.

I do so love your posts John

This made my night/insanely early morning.

quote:

ORIGIONAL: weentsy

Is foot massage and toe sucking an "intimate act"? A massage can be had at any spa...the toe sucking part, while not common to a spa massage, still doesn't seem like something out of bounds. Would I tell my wife about it? No...so if that's the test, then maybe it is out of bounds. But if there's no relationship beyond the servitude, I still don't think of it as cheating.

Servitude is an intimate act, and toe sucking and foot massages as you want them to be -are- an intimate act. Fulfilling a fantasy, for you, fulfilling a need. I get that. However. That intimacy that you want, when transferred to another woman would be cheating IMHO. I'm poly, however, which means I practice open relationships, I do not however practice cheating, all involved know what's involved and with whom. Keeping such secrets from your partner isn’t going to help.

Foot worship, is just that, worship, an intensely private and deeply powerful experience. Excluding your wife/partner/significant/non-significant other on the grounds of "I just don't think they'd understand/want to" is still cheating in my book. Servitude is a relationship all in itself. As a Domme though? I want someone who’s interested in me, rather then just my feet. Foot worship is nice? But it's not enough to build a relationship on. My feet however lovely, don’t define me as a woman.

Regards

Isara.

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RE: Married Foot Slaves - 3/5/2006 5:45:08 PM

Ethne

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Joined: 9/13/2005
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quote:

You're really quite the hater.

Actually, she's just the bluntest. I was thinking the same thing, and just hoping that you would sit down and listen to the advice you asked for. Five of us asked you a question which you either ignored, or whined that it wouldn't work. *shrugs* You asked for our opinions, and when we didnt validate, but asked questions, you grew hostile or dismissive.

Either you get it or you dont.

Ethne

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