RE: No Whips, Chains.

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RE: No Whips, Chains. - 3/1/2006 7:49:01 AM

marathdamane

Posts: 10
Joined: 2/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

Well, if as you say your judgement Sucks, what are you going to do if you hook up with a lousy master because you cant judge well?

LA has given great advice. You should take note of it.
also:Go slow- stop thinking you need a master right now.
pay attention to details
ask questions then ask them again and again
Listen to what your gut feeling is telling you

i don't know what i'll do. i have no plans to rush into anything. When i spoke of not seeing it happen i was refering to my judgement getting better and my confidence in it increasing, not that i was going to ignore the advice. i plan to be very careful about getting to know anybody. i would still not be suprised if (despite my best efforts) i encounter someone who is bad news. i'm used to it :P

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RE: No Whips, Chains. - 3/1/2006 7:49:34 AM

Vancouver_cinful

Posts: 476
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44
You don't need to do it to be able to say for sure that you aren't into it. If it does not interest you then it does not interest you. Don't let other try to convince you otherwise. You may just regret it.

In general this is very true. I feel that I don't have an obligation to develop a taste for anything that doesn't interest me.

I've had many competent sadists suggest that they could teach me to enjoy more pain, and like it, and they may be right...but the bottom line is, is there a point to it? Just because I might be able to learn to like cutting or needle play doesn't mean I'm obligated to try it.

I don't consider myself a masochist. For those who go there...wonderful. For me...not in the cards at this point in my life. No idea what the future brings.

Cin

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RE: No Whips, Chains. - 3/1/2006 7:51:57 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 1767
Joined: 11/17/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

i would still not be suprised if (despite my best efforts) i encounter someone who is bad news. i'm used to it :P

No offense, but unless your attitude about yourself changes, then that is what will happen. We all come into contact, sooner or later, with someone who can be called 'bad news'. The trick is to know yourself, that way, when you encounter one who only wishes to take advantage, you can find the strength within to stand firm on what you believe, and to not compromise on that which you seek.

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RE: No Whips, Chains. - 3/1/2006 7:58:56 AM

LthrdWolf

Posts: 88
Joined: 1/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Work is kicking me in the ass big time right now. Totally sucks

Oh Crud,sorry to hear that Irish ...hang in there.

LthrdWolf

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RE: No Whips, Chains. - 3/1/2006 8:08:31 AM

marathdamane

Posts: 10
Joined: 2/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

No offense, but unless your attitude about yourself changes, then that is what will happen. We all come into contact, sooner or later, with someone who can be called 'bad news'. The trick is to know yourself, that way, when you encounter one who only wishes to take advantage, you can find the strength within to stand firm on what you believe, and to not compromise on that which you seek.

None taken, my problem is that a part of me wants to be taken advantage of. It's a really self-destructive feeling, and i know it's a problem :P i just don't know what to do about it though :P

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RE: No Whips, Chains. - 3/1/2006 8:15:50 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 2651
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: marathdamane
None taken, my problem is that a part of me wants to be taken advantage of. It's a really self-destructive feeling, and i know it's a problem :P i just don't know what to do about it though :P

That last part is a lie.

Again it goes back to choosing the right person to take advantage of you.

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Post #: 26

RE: No Whips, Chains. - 3/1/2006 8:24:31 AM

candystripper

Posts: 1657
Joined: 11/1/2005
From: Upstate New York; living in Ohio
Status: offline

quote:

Work is kicking me in the ass big time right now. Totally sucks

IrishMist

~pokes IM with a stick just so she hurts evenly~ LOL

candystripper

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http://www.san.beck.org/AB5-EmpireofAugustus.html

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Post #: 27

RE: No Whips, Chains. - 3/1/2006 8:27:24 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 1512
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

How many people in this lifestyle arent into torture or pain at all? Im not, am I alone?

You are not alone.
I am no maso. I would never be able to be with a sadist.
I like the power exchange, and I especially like the mental aspects of domination and power exchange that goes beyond the sex. The physical is one part of this. There is so much more to it.

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RE: No Whips, Chains. - 3/1/2006 8:32:13 AM

Submotive

Posts: 129
Joined: 9/9/2005
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i used to believe that i did not like or want any pain. What i learned about myself is that i was afraid to admit that i enjoyed something that i considered "sick". i actually felt somewhat superior to those who wanted/needed pain to have a relationship. Then i got more honest with myself about who i actually am, rather than who i thought i should be.

Learning to embrace ALL of who i am, not just those parts that i judged as "healthy" or "normal", continues to be an incredibly evolving and rewarding experience as a whole. i don't like the degrees of pain that some do and there are things i don't want to experience, even though i haven't tried them.

Now as an owned sub/slave i also face my deepest desire - pleasing Him. This in itself creates the possibility of going where i, on my own, would not. My desire to assist Him in experiencing what He needs/wants to within Himself, is strong enough to submit to things that i might not necessarily do without the dynamic of TPE. So my question to you is what actually is TPE if your desire is concerned only with what is pleasing or not to you?

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RE: No Whips, Chains. - 3/1/2006 8:40:36 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Submotive
So my question to you is what actually is TPE if your desire is concerned only with what is pleasing or not to you?

Well, what is any relationship if your desire is ONLY concerned with what is pleasing or not.

However, no one gets into a relationship that they don't want to be pleased by. Being concerned with what is pleasing to you is a very important and valid thing. We get into a relationship because we WANT to.

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RE: No Whips, Chains. - 3/1/2006 9:36:28 AM

xxblushesxx

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Joined: 11/3/2005
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When I first came here, had on my profile, "I am not a masochist; no true sadist need respond" I was adamant!

I also felt I only had sub tendencies and would never have slave tendencies...

Every time I learn something new about myself in this lifestyle, I am at first v freaked out...

Every dom I am interested in is a sadist...

I used to wonder WHY I attracted sadists...now I know...they could see what I couldn't.

I wouldn't necessarily discount something just because you feel it's not for you...sometimes we lie. Even to our own selves.

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RE: No Whips, Chains. - 3/1/2006 9:39:24 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 2651
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx
I used to wonder WHY I attracted sadists...now I know...they could see what I couldn't.

I wouldn't necessarily discount something just because you feel it's not for you...sometimes we lie. Even to our own selves.

I attract sadists too, that's cuz they like hurting me. That's cuz they know I get off on everything except pain. That's cuz they know I will HURT from the pain, and they love that PAIN, not pleasure/pain or off floating. They love knowing they can beat me, make me scream, make me hate them for it, and then still come kneeling at their feet and thank them for it afterwards.

I agree we should be open to trying things and not make hard limits on growth- who knows maybe one day I will discover a masochist/endorphin high inside of me.

But too many find themselves questioning because others will try and convince them of what they SHOULD like, or what they SHOULD really learn, and it's very rude to tell someone that they just haven't "experienced it right" yet.

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RE: No Whips, Chains. - 3/1/2006 9:46:29 AM

yourMissTress

Posts: 541
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MojoRisin

How many people in this lifestyle arent into torture or pain at all? Im not, am I alone?

I just am interested in the power exchange...

The title of this thread was to me what a single tail to your ass would be. I was ready to cry until I read that you just don't like them. I thought at first that someone was going to take them away!!!!!

I am a sadist, I love to inflict, cause, create, be the source of PAIN, be it emotional or physical. I love it. Pain is not the main focus of my relationships with subs. But it is more than the icing on the cake. Like sex in a marriage or other committed relationship either kinky or vanilla. It's not the main focus but it had better be there and be good or there's going to be trouble later.

Thanks for the thread.

And don't ever scare me like that again, or you will be sorry!!!! <weg>

< Message edited by yourMissTress -- 3/1/2006 9:47:00 AM >

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