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RE: Domliness and Masterfulness


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RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/21/2006 8:52:07 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 1657
Joined: 11/1/2005
From: Upstate New York; living in Ohio
Status: offline
quote:

What is wrong with asking for advice?

Perhaps you mean your legal skills, I just found the "never" a strong word, for how is a Dom to fulfill no 10 if he doesn't ask for advice?

Oumae


Again, this could have been written better. i help ALL my friends as i can; and some are Doms and Masters. But there have been Men so legally entangled They needed a full-time lawyer. Barring unsual circumstances, this is a sign of not having Your life under control and needs to be a paying arrangement.

candystripper

_____________________________

Ovid's "Art of Love"
http://www.san.beck.org/AB5-EmpireofAugustus.html

Love hides a multitude of faults.. ~Anon.~

(in reply to Oumae)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/21/2006 8:56:37 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 1657
Joined: 11/1/2005
From: Upstate New York; living in Ohio
Status: offline
quote:

The only thing I find surprizing about this thread is that some seem to think it is asking for too much?

Take out a few words, like 'always' and 'never' so as to allow for the fact that Doms are human and humans don't always get things right ALL the time and I really don't think it is a lot to ask for.

Might take a while to find but there are a number of such people out there. There are examples on this very board, Ironbear for one, John Warren for another! and if you extend it to Dommes as well then Hathor and Phoenix are but two who spring to mind. They are out there to be found


You are right; i am so glad people reacted and improved it.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 2/21/2006 9:12:55 PM >

_____________________________

Ovid's "Art of Love"
http://www.san.beck.org/AB5-EmpireofAugustus.html

Love hides a multitude of faults.. ~Anon.~

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/21/2006 9:00:45 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 1657
Joined: 11/1/2005
From: Upstate New York; living in Ohio
Status: offline
quote:

I will admit candy, you make Me at times walk away and reflect---as I read this, I smile, for I believe they are not words for Doms...



but words for humanity.

MHOO314


i wondered after i wrote it, what about women? About slaves and submissives and Dommes? And submissive men? What are our standards? Once again, are we a self-declared bunch or is there a standard to be met; or that we should aspire to? i have myself felt that it was necessary to be ethical and kind, but is that all that is expected of us? What do You think, Ma'am?

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 2/21/2006 9:01:12 PM >

_____________________________

Ovid's "Art of Love"
http://www.san.beck.org/AB5-EmpireofAugustus.html

Love hides a multitude of faults.. ~Anon.~

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/22/2006 12:40:02 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 2678
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

quote:

However I suspect that the majority of Doms/Masters wouldn't score highly on that list.

IronBear


Apart from temporary set-backs and other unusual circumstances, would You, Sir, consider a Man a Dom or Master if He failed to possess these qualities? Is a Man a Dom or Master merely because He likes submissive women? i guess the real debate is whether "Domliness and Masterfulness" is achieved or self-awarded. And the tangent then becomes who decides, which is endless and without resolve. So all i can say is this is what "Domliness and Masterfulness" mean to me.

candystripper


Initially the Dominant is a presonality trait rather than a cloak which is donned at will. Life can and usually develop this especially in his area of occupation. If he is involved it team sports his dominance will further develope or be honed too. All of this tends to showcase him as a natural leader. If he never becomes a member of the lifestyle (includig Gorean) he is still a dominant man. I would look for such things such as strength of character, being a man of his word, standing the line in matters which he deems importand and being prepared to rish life and limb for them. let's assume that he enters the liofe style or is a current member. the two areas which will judge him the best and by which he can be judged are his peers and his sub/slave. The lil ones are honestly the best judge of a man for they will often enough see him beforehe showeres, scrubbs fangs and shaves and usually when he has just arisen and has nad no coffee..... He may be a grumpy olf man but is he in control?

Just the thougfhts of one who isreally like a hungry grizzly just out of hibernation before he has had his three coffee's in the morning.

"Ya gota play the game. It's all about the game and how you play it!"


_____________________________

Be Well
Iron Bear

Master of House Iron Bear


Yes, I am a Master, but not your Master..........


The Incorrigible, irrepressible, irreverent grizzly



(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/22/2006 6:04:43 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 681
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
The lil ones are honestly the best judge of a man for they will often enough see him beforehe showeres, scrubbs fangs and shaves and usually when he has just arisen and has nad no coffee..... He may be a grumpy olf man but is he in control?


Oh yes, the uncaffinated Raven is a very controled and focused being indeed. Focused on but one thought... "Want coffee NOW!"

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/22/2006 6:34:09 AM   
Kiaban


Posts: 119
Joined: 7/11/2004
Status: offline 		lol

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/22/2006 9:14:00 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 2326
Joined: 6/18/2004
From: Palos Verdes Estates
Status: offline 		this slave agrees with Mistress Hathor--this sounds like a list that isn't just exclusive to Doms and Masters, but to all of humanity, subs, slaves, etc.

and for you, Candystripper, this slave would like to add Master's words to your list:

#12 (after Penelope's #11) "He(or she) has gone through the self-assessment process, KNOWS what he(or she)seeks, more importantly WHY he(or she) seeks them, and doesn't compromise."

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 2/22/2006 9:15:17 AM >

_____________________________

Merc & beth

"The words printed here are concepts. You must go through the experiences." - Saint Augustine

(in reply to PenelopePitstop)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/22/2006 10:15:02 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 1657
Joined: 11/1/2005
From: Upstate New York; living in Ohio
Status: offline
quote:

i do think that as you are, as you say, very new, it bears repeating, as wonderful as a man may be - mine included - he is still a human.

newflowers


i agree..bears repeating. Must be human. LOL. (sorry, i know you're serious.)

i'm delighted by what you & true wrote...congrats, ladies.

candystripper

_____________________________

Ovid's "Art of Love"
http://www.san.beck.org/AB5-EmpireofAugustus.html

Love hides a multitude of faults.. ~Anon.~

(in reply to newflowers)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/22/2006 10:18:44 AM   
amayos


Posts: 473
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England (living in New Hampshire)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

...Dominant is a presonality trait rather than a cloak which is donned at will.


Well said.

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/22/2006 9:06:15 PM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1002
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline 		Holy shit.

This is an EXCELLENT list. I've never seen the traits so exquisitely quantified as I have here.

CS, is this your list, or did you pilf it from somewhere? The only reason I ask is I want to cross post it if you'll let me.

Thanks,
Kassie

_____________________________

If it's not fun, why bother?

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/22/2006 11:59:25 PM   
LaMspeach


Posts: 126
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

"Domliness and Masterfulness"

i am VERY new to BDSM and yet i have found a few things to be true about Doms and Masters:

1. They have impeccable manners, at all times. (Apart from protective moments, etc.)

2. They make no demand to be called "Master" etc. until a collar is considered, and perhaps not even then. They certainly do not choose "MasteroftheUniverse" nicks and demand every woman address Them as such.

3. They are kind and compassionate, answering people in trouble (even of their own making) with sound advice.

4. They are financially stable, whether pauper or prince.

5. They never ask me for free advice.

6. Whatever They have chosen to do for a living, They do so well and confidently.

7. They never pressure me to agree in advance to something which exceeds my limits.

8. In disagreeing with someone, they discuss the point of contention, and refrain from attacking the poster (even when doing so would be fun).

9. They are never self-important; They post as Their own opinion, not The Way It Should Be.

10. They always seem to see Themselves as works in progress, open to new experiences and to learning.

candystripper


I thought of Master when i read this.

_____________________________

peach ~ LordandMasters devoted slave
"Only when the year has grown cold does one know that the pine and cypress are the last to wither"



(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/23/2006 6:14:55 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 823
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos


quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

...Dominant is a presonality trait rather than a cloak which is donned at will.


Well said.


*** holding up a cloak *** aaaaaaaaaawwwww man..... mmmmmmmm I wonder if I can get my money back


_____________________________

Knight of Mists

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/23/2006 6:37:57 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 1657
Joined: 11/1/2005
From: Upstate New York; living in Ohio
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

Holy shit.

This is an EXCELLENT list. I've never seen the traits so exquisitely quantified as I have here.

CS, is this your list, or did you pilf it from somewhere? The only reason I ask is I want to cross post it if you'll let me.

Thanks,
Kassie


it's mine, though i 1st posted it on another board. If You re-post, i'd take what people have said into consideration cuz it could have been better. i epsecially like that "Domliness is a character trait" from IB.

candystripper

< Message edited by candystripper -- 2/23/2006 6:38:30 PM >

_____________________________

Ovid's "Art of Love"
http://www.san.beck.org/AB5-EmpireofAugustus.html

Love hides a multitude of faults.. ~Anon.~

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/23/2006 6:57:08 PM   
JoeBlack


Posts: 9
Joined: 12/2/2005
Status: offline 		I would add courage and compassion to the list,those are both traits that make a man who he is,Dom or not.

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/26/2006 10:56:52 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 1657
Joined: 11/1/2005
From: Upstate New York; living in Ohio
Status: offline 		TY Joe..You're right.

candystripper

_____________________________

Ovid's "Art of Love"
http://www.san.beck.org/AB5-EmpireofAugustus.html

Love hides a multitude of faults.. ~Anon.~

(in reply to JoeBlack)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/26/2006 11:11:55 AM   
Sunshine119


Posts: 244
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline 		Candy, are You in Love? Very nice list. His Highness rates high on all of these things as well (excepting the addition of #11...lol). But, then again, I'm in love as well.

_____________________________

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/26/2006 11:47:53 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 2678
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

Holy shit.

This is an EXCELLENT list. I've never seen the traits so exquisitely quantified as I have here.

CS, is this your list, or did you pilf it from somewhere? The only reason I ask is I want to cross post it if you'll let me.

Thanks,
Kassie



Was in chats last night and someone came up with Holy Fuck.. Now a Catholic Priest friend of mine in his broad Irish Brogue explained that if you have sex on Sunday it is a Holy Fuck, sooooooooooooooooooooo I just figure that a Holy Shit is when you use the dunny on Sunday and leave a sizable deposit you have had ............................................. Hmmmm

< Message edited by IronBear -- 2/26/2006 11:48:39 AM >

_____________________________

Be Well
Iron Bear

Master of House Iron Bear


Yes, I am a Master, but not your Master..........


The Incorrigible, irrepressible, irreverent grizzly



(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/26/2006 12:24:17 PM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 311
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

"Domliness and Masterfulness"

i am VERY new to BDSM and yet i have found a few things to be true about Doms and Masters:

1. They have impeccable manners, at all times. (Apart from protective moments, etc.)

2. They make no demand to be called "Master" etc. until a collar is considered, and perhaps not even then. They certainly do not choose "MasteroftheUniverse" nicks and demand every woman address Them as such.

3. They are kind and compassionate, answering people in trouble (even of their own making) with sound advice.

4. They are financially stable, whether pauper or prince.

5. They never ask me for free advice.

6. Whatever They have chosen to do for a living, They do so well and confidently.

7. They never pressure me to agree in advance to something which exceeds my limits.

8. In disagreeing with someone, they discuss the point of contention, and refrain from attacking the poster (even when doing so would be fun).

9. They are never self-important; They post as Their own opinion, not The Way It Should Be.

10. They always seem to see Themselves as works in progress, open to new experiences and to learning.

candystripper


I think this is a great list for what you personally look for in a dominant. I would not consider many of the things you listed ways to identify a dominant in general though.

C~

_____________________________

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~
"If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style"

- Despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/28/2006 9:59:47 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 1657
Joined: 11/1/2005
From: Upstate New York; living in Ohio
Status: offline
quote:

Was in chats last night and someone came up with Holy Fuck.. Now a Catholic Priest friend of mine in his broad Irish Brogue explained that if you have sex on Sunday it is a Holy Fuck, sooooooooooooooooooooo I just figure that a Holy Shit is when you use the dunny on Sunday and leave a sizable deposit you have had ............................................. Hmmmm

IronBear


Lady Neets?????? IronBear has got into the mead again...LOL.

candystripper

_____________________________

Ovid's "Art of Love"
http://www.san.beck.org/AB5-EmpireofAugustus.html

Love hides a multitude of faults.. ~Anon.~

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Domliness and Masterfulness - 2/28/2006 10:02:08 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 1657
Joined: 11/1/2005
From: Upstate New York; living in Ohio
Status: offline 		i'm curious; which item is not part of Domination or Mastering IYO? Not disagreeing that i wrote from my heart, yes.

candystripper

_____________________________

Ovid's "Art of Love"
http://www.san.beck.org/AB5-EmpireofAugustus.html

Love hides a multitude of faults.. ~Anon.~

(in reply to Wildfleurs)
Profile   Post #: 60
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