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subtoFemDommes -> RE: falling in love with Mistress (2/20/2006 1:49:08 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: subtdop1
i have met someone and know that w/We are falling in love with e/Each other. it is really hard because She does not know if this is a good thing and i feel that it is wonderful to connect and be close and still respect Her as a true slave should.
feel that it is wonderful to connect and be close and still respect Her as a true slave should.
Within and without every form of relationship, there are different motivations and perspectives about the "other." Whether in D/s, where a million prescriptions for the Dominant and submissive role reside, or in vanilla marriages of love, convenience, sexual need or, as in many societies, sheer survival, people determine why they would be better off to be in such a relationship, what value each element of it has, and what, to them, "love" is.
For myself (emphasis added) i cannot imagine a D/s (or any other kind of intimate, committed relationship) that i would be motivated to be in, or satisfied by, without love. Deep, caring, trusting, committed, love. And i've had the temptation to be in others; one where i'd have been treated very fairly by a good person, kept in material riches and allowed reasonable freedoms. But i wouldn't have been in love.
No matter what anyone here can tell you about their perspectives, there are only two that matter, subtdop1; yours and Hers. If, as you say, to "connect and be close" (to love) is "wonderful" and that is what you need to make you whole, yet "She does not know if this is a good thing" don't ignore that. Your D/s relations will not compensate, or overcome the emptiness that will surely follow if She decides that being in love with you is not something She feels is a "good thing."
Unfortunately, our cravings can lead us into relationships where we attempt to compromise elements in order to get others. Your profile states quote:
i wish to remain a person to some extent, and to be allowed to be connected in a much deeper and meaningful relationship than being a thing.... i am much more than a thing.... is that wrong?
To me, it seems that when you began your search, you were aware of deeper needs, a stronger connection ... gasp! Love! If this is the profile you had when your Mistress found you, did She initiate some discussion of those needs? Did you in any way diminish them, or did She indicate that wasn't something She felt comfortable with? These are only issues you and She can address, or look at anew.
And keep this in mind: A Dominant is every bit as vulnerable as a submissive, sometimes more so. Let Her know how much being open to you means, how deeply You want to fulfill Her needs, learn of Her desires and protect Her heart. After that, you'll know if you've found what everyone really wants, being accepted for who you really are and knowing someone trusts you and wants your acceptance in the same way. Kind of like ... being in love.
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