quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

One decision I made when putting my own profile together was to keep the BDSM comments to a minimum. I am not looking for someone who only looks at a D/s relationship in those terms and reconed that was probably the best way to discourage interest from that type of person.

Sure it is an aspect of the relationship I am looking for but not the core of it, the D/s aspect and the who they are as a person are both far more important to me. can play with someone I don't care for, but couldn't be a master to them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Now, let's take a look at my more down to earth ad, the one that was not a joke, which got very little response:

I'm a 30 year old female dominant living south of Los Angeles.

I am NOT looking for a boyfriend, lover, husband, or new best friend. I am
looking for a casual play partner, no strings attached type situation.

If you are single (no wife, no girlfriend) and between the ages of 18 and
32, drop me a line. Novices are fine. The nature of the play I am looking
for in this case is mostly bondage and role-playing. Please don't write to
me if you are looking for service-oriented scenes, sexual domination,
hardcore pain (some light pain can be expected), foot worship, forced
feminization or the like. I'm looking for a pretty specific kind of
interaction. The games I'm interested in playing are power-types, more on
the sensual side than blatantly sexual, more suggestive rather than erotic.
Good things for beginners.

Please do not have agendas -- the type I am looking for is after one thing
primarily -- the sensations/emotions involved with being helpless for a
woman and knowing it pleases her. The less focused you are on a style of
domination or specific act, the better.

I prefer artistic types, shy is ok. You don't need to be god's gift to
women, but be self confident and have good qualities that you are proud of.
If you are a bit on the thin, femme side, even better. My tastes don't
usually run toward perfect bodies, gym types, jocks, military, or
super-short hair, but I won't rule it out totally.

Good hygiene, social skills and self-awareness are very important to me.
You also need to be local -- i.e., within 90 minutes or so, and able to get
together with relatively short notice.

No money involved and no sex either.

If this interests you, drop me a line. A photo would also be great. As a
courtesy to those that do fit the specifications outlined, please do not
contact me if you are not what I outlined above (i.e., "I'm married, 42 and
live in New York, but will be traveling to LA for a conference and would
like to be dressed up as a maid and forced to clean your bathroom").

Regards,

Akasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

It is my view of life that people do not know “what they want,” and those that feel they do are limiting themselves. To me, meeting people should be an adventure, a curious trek, a learning experince, a discovery – about oneself and the other person. It should not be a market transaction of aligned ages, wants, needs, income levels, and the rest.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pollux

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

It is my view of life that people do not know “what they want,” and those that feel they do are limiting themselves. To me, meeting people should be an adventure, a curious trek, a learning experince, a discovery – about oneself and the other person. It should not be a market transaction of aligned ages, wants, needs, income levels, and the rest.

It would explain a lot. And it would probably be a good idea for both sexes to move in the direction of the other -- with women maybe being a little less anal about their partner meeting all the items on their "checklists", and men maybe being a little more selective and specific and thoughtful about who they choose to pursue. I think everyone would be a lot happier.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pollux

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

It is my view of life that people do not know “what they want,” and those that feel they do are limiting themselves. To me, meeting people should be an adventure, a curious trek, a learning experince, a discovery – about oneself and the other person. It should not be a market transaction of aligned ages, wants, needs, income levels, and the rest.

I agree with a lot of what you've said here.

One observation I've made over the years (that probably ought to be a separate thread, but WTH) is that men and women -- IMO -- are very different in this regard, but it totally plays against type.

What I mean is, the stereotype is that women are more driven by their feelings/emotions, etc. and that men are the thinkers/rationalists. But I believe this is -- generally -- NOT true with regard to selecting a partner. I think in that case women are incredibly rational. They think in great depth about the qualities they want in a partner -- they have checklists, and specific criteria, and they go into exquisite detail -- just as Akasha has done here.

Men, OTOH, and maybe this is evolutionary biology at work (the woman being highly selective/protective, the man wanting to enrichen the gene pool), I think tend to go more with chemistry, and will pursue whoever seems attractive to them at the moment, regardless of whether there are a million red flags screaming STOP! THIS IS WRONG IN A MILLION WAYS! I know I've certainly done that (pursued the wrong women simply because they were attractive), and I think you don't have to look far here at CollarMe to find women who are inundated with requests from men that are completely and obviously unsuitable, despite being very explicit about exactly what they want in their profiles.

It would explain a lot. And it would probably be a good idea for both sexes to move in the direction of the other -- with women maybe being a little less anal about their partner meeting all the items on their "checklists", and men maybe being a little more selective and specific and thoughtful about who they choose to pursue. I think everyone would be a lot happier.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyJulieAnn


I don't think that knowing what one wants means that you can't have an adventure/learning experience/discovery when meeting people.
Julie

quote:

ORIGINAL: veronicaofML

now did that help or just make Ya madder?

quote:

I was certain I would end up with a highly creative, but career-minded type; an architect, a graphic designer, a composer, an artist.