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being enough...... - 1/28/2006 8:39:58 AM   
submissivemiss38


Posts: 40
Joined: 1/15/2006
From: Ottawa ,Ontario
Status: offline 		How commom is it for a Master to want his submisive/slave take on other men or women? My desire is to belong to one Master.owned completely and that be enough for Him.

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From Mary in Ottawa..........
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RE: being enough...... - 1/28/2006 9:40:40 AM   
submissivemiss38


Posts: 40
Joined: 1/15/2006
From: Ottawa ,Ontario
Status: offline 		ok maybe my question is out of line? If it is just let me know.......... if not on here ...send a private message.

< Message edited by submissivemiss38 -- 1/28/2006 9:41:26 AM >

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From Mary in Ottawa..........

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RE: being enough...... - 1/28/2006 9:45:56 AM   
floorkitten


Posts: 36
Joined: 4/28/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Mary,

One thing I am absolute about - there are no absolutes - no "commons" within this lifestyle.

Each relationship must be defined by those involved within that particular relationship.

Yet on that note - myself as a slave, it is not about "my desires" "my wants." For myself, it is being able to please my Master in all things. Bending my will for him, accepting it and knowing self truth in my voluntary slavery.

~kitten

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RE: being enough...... - 1/28/2006 10:02:09 AM   
meridia


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		submiss,

that's going to be totally dependent on what the sub and Dom/me agree to, and it could go either way. if a Dom/me's limit says "nobody else touches you" and a slave truly craves to be shared, it could either be a deal-breaker, or a compromise could be met.

my experience? i love Master so much that i don't want anyone else touching me, or anyone else touching him. he wants me to play with other women, but he's not forcing me to. i'm warming up to it gradually and i have my own hard limits (temporary though they may be) that will not be violated or everything will go down the drain. as things progress, those limits will probably change, or they may not. but i know that he loves me enough that he'll respect anything i'm truly uncomfortable with.

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why couldn't you just put the bunny back in the box?

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RE: being enough...... - 1/28/2006 10:03:08 AM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2245
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		Depends on the people.

I'd say that of the profiles I've read and people I've talked to it's about 70/30 split between people who share and people who don't. But that's -only- who I've seen/read/contacted/been contacted by

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~in the begining it is always dark~

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RE: being enough...... - 1/28/2006 10:17:56 AM   
submissivemiss38


Posts: 40
Joined: 1/15/2006
From: Ottawa ,Ontario
Status: offline 		my experience? i love Master so much that i don't want anyone else touching me, or anyone else touching him.


That is the way I feel also...for now..doesn`t mean down the road my idea would not change........right now I don`t like sharing and I don`t like to be shared......

< Message edited by submissivemiss38 -- 1/28/2006 10:19:01 AM >

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From Mary in Ottawa..........

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RE: being enough...... - 1/28/2006 10:24:59 AM   
sweetsugargirl


Posts: 11
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline 		Hey, whatever works for you is great. I personally like the thought of being "shared" but only on a temporary/play basis. Not for permanent. Just me...

(in reply to submissivemiss38)
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RE: being enough...... - 1/28/2006 10:38:12 AM   
theRose4U


Posts: 495
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38

How commom is it for a Master to want his submisive/slave take on other men or women? My desire is to belong to one Master.owned completely and that be enough for Him.


This struck a chord with me. Not just being enough in the eyes of the dominant but good enough period.
I would say that if you have a desire to be loaned out then more power to ya, just make sure that you trust your dominant. He will need to be willing to debrief you in these situations and be willing to make sure that the bonds of the primary relationship are strong.

The part of this that struck me personally is that I worry about being good enough, smart enough, doing everything in my power to be the best. Doing this to please another to me at least is a warning flag. It becomes an endless cycle...if I do this then he'll love me, if I do that he'll be pleased with me. If they're not pleased with who you are in the first place the "stuff" won't change this because there will always be just one more thing.
The reality is that if you're not enough for yourself...basically pleased with who you are and how you conduct yourself then you will never feel like you're enough for another.
Just something to chew on.

(in reply to submissivemiss38)
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RE: being enough...... - 1/28/2006 11:58:07 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 832
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

How commom is it for a Master to want his submisive/slave take on other men or women? My desire is to belong to one Master.owned completely and that be enough for Him.


Do what YOU think is best.

(in reply to submissivemiss38)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: being enough...... - 1/28/2006 12:25:54 PM   
submissivemiss38


Posts: 40
Joined: 1/15/2006
From: Ottawa ,Ontario
Status: offline 		thank-you Pertruchio

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From Mary in Ottawa..........

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RE: being enough...... - 1/28/2006 12:26:00 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 681
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38

How commom is it for a Master to want his submisive/slave take on other men or women? My desire is to belong to one Master.owned completely and that be enough for Him.


From what I've seen, heard and talked to others about. reasonably common. But there are people out there who don't. If thats what you know you want then thats what you should keep searching for till you find it....

To answer it from a personal standpoint. I'm poly, Whilst I am looking for longer term relationships... it is relationships plural (And I don't totaly rule out shorter term things if the person or situation catches my interest enough) , so I wouldn't be a good match for someone who expected to "be enough for" me.

Would I share a sub or slave with others? That would depend on the individual, their limits and their needs. If it was a hard limit then definatly not. Otherwise there are several reasons where I would.

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: being enough...... - 1/28/2006 12:49:13 PM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		Do what YOU think is best.
=======================


yeah


what he said


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drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: being enough...... - 1/28/2006 12:51:45 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 332
Joined: 11/3/2005
Status: offline 		sloooowwww dowwwwnnnn...

setting yourself up for trouble, girl....

please, take a deep breath and slow down...


(in reply to veronicaofML)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: being enough...... - 1/28/2006 1:50:18 PM   
Slavebitch11


Posts: 5
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: floorkitten

Mary,

One thing I am absolute about - there are no absolutes - no "commons" within this lifestyle.

Each relationship must be defined by those involved within that particular relationship.

Yet on that note - myself as a slave, it is not about "my desires" "my wants." For myself, it is being able to please my Master in all things. Bending my will for him, accepting it and knowing self truth in my voluntary slavery.

~kitten



My Master loves me enough to want share me with those that he chooses. What pleases him pleases me. I serve him because i want to. Thats where 'what I want' ends. I am his property to do with as he wishes.





_____________________________

Trippin' in chains.....and ropes are not for skippin'

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: being enough...... - 1/28/2006 1:53:28 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 2294
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		I expect you'll find that many more doms will be interested in sharing you with other women than with other men. It's not the same kind of sharing, either.

quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38

How commom is it for a Master to want his submisive/slave take on other men or women?


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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: being enough...... - 1/28/2006 1:58:24 PM   
justjenn


Posts: 9
Joined: 10/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U
The reality is that if you're not enough for yourself...basically pleased with who you are and how you conduct yourself then you will never feel like you're enough for another.


Very well said and I couldn't agree more.

That said - "enough" depends on those involved and will be different in every relationship. For some, monogamy means security, for others it means a lack of variety. Some will tell you that they're monogamous because they only play with others in a non-sexual way, but others will tell you that they still don't consider that monogamy. And some will tell you that they don't want monogamy anyway. Every one's needs are different. The best way to ensure that your needs are being met (both yours and those of your Master) is to discuss it with him.

good luck!

< Message edited by justjenn -- 1/28/2006 1:59:09 PM >

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: being enough...... - 1/28/2006 2:29:36 PM   
typesgirl


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline 		I can't speak for what is "usual" or "typical" but only for what my Master and i have. I'll share it to give you an idea of how the concept of sharing might develop in a relationship where communication is key.

Sharing my Master with other women is a hard limit for me and one that He respects and will not and does not want to challenge. We've discussed whether or not He would want to share me and over a year and a half or so have come to an agreement that I would be comfortable with being shared only in very limited ways (such as allowing a nother Dom to spank me when at a club etc). Of course, if Master changed His mind and wanted to share me more We would talk about it.

The bottom line is that He is most concerned about what is best for me. I am His property and He sees it as crucial to take care of me and my growth. If at any time He thought it would be good for me to be shared then He would do so and i would trust Him to know what is best. However, this would never ever happen before we discussed it thoroughly and He explained to me what He wanted and why. It's just how We work.

As others have mentioned, sharing me with another female sub for His edification is a much different topic and one He sees much more casually. I'm in the process of exploring my bisexual curiosity and He is in full support of it but He is always in control of my experimentation. I only do it with His permission.

So that's how W/we work. I hope seeing an example offers some insight.
typesgirl

(in reply to justjenn)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: being enough...... - 1/28/2006 2:37:38 PM   
Real0ne


Posts: 401
Joined: 10/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U


quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38

How commom is it for a Master to want his submisive/slave take on other men or women? My desire is to belong to one Master.owned completely and that be enough for Him.

The reality is that if you're not enough for yourself...basically pleased with who you are and how you conduct yourself then you will never feel like you're enough for another.
Just something to chew on.


This is excellent advice!

i dont think it really matters what the norm is or what is usual if it does not work for you.

You have to do what is right for you and go from there.

< Message edited by Real0ne -- 1/28/2006 2:42:03 PM >

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: being enough...... - 1/28/2006 2:40:19 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 832
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

My desire is to belong to one Master.owned completely and that be enough for Him.


By the way, my earlier reply nonwithstanding, males are often driven to 'sample' (so to speak), and that's not a reflection on your own competeness. You wouldn't believe the guys with great (and great looking) women who look for variety.

(in reply to submissivemiss38)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: being enough...... - 1/28/2006 4:03:32 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 1767
Joined: 11/17/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submissivemiss38

How commom is it for a Master to want his submisive/slave take on other men or women? My desire is to belong to one Master.owned completely and that be enough for Him.


Well, if you take your time you will eventually find one who wants the same things as you. Be prepared though, many, even if they are not actively searching for more than one, will bring up such a possiblity just to see where you stand with it. If you take too harsh a stand, they may back off thinking that you are unbending on ALL things.

_____________________________

"I love this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful, beautiful life"
Daryl Worley

(in reply to submissivemiss38)
Profile   Post #: 20
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